M39

Curious to hear opinions & thoughts:

November 15 2021

There’s arguments for and against this. Yes because your past shapes you and your experiences good and bad pave the road of how and what you do in the future. (You touch a hot stove and get burnt, your not likely to touch it again) sure there’s flexibility in that, not everything is as binary as that analogy. No. What you’ve done in the past doesn’t define you as a person, you’ve been or found emancipation/changed and that is no longer who you are. But what about relationships. What about sex. Is a long term relationship is about growing and experiencing things together. About pushing each other’s envelopes and exploring. Much like your first time driving, the moment you lost your virginity, the day the training wheels come off your bicycle. There’s milestones that are precious moments to share with someone. But what of someone who’s given all those moments away. Does that not subtract from the potential shared growing and exploration? What of someone who’s done it all with everyone else? Are they just left an emotionless husk? Will/could they ever possibly feel that depth of connection and/or find happiness at the level of a couple who’ve shared and grown together will? What of having a moment stolen or auctioned off from you by someone you care about or even love. How do you not feel betrayed by that? You start dating someone and in doing so you are accepting their sexual history. But with the decadence and exploration everyone is so eager to have regardless of necessarily whom it’s with, are they not just cheating themselves of the true depth they could feel in their future with someone. When does someone become effectively numb to people as a whole & view you as just a number? I know there’s plenty of people who’ll say it’s not all about sex and you’re right. But sex is an intimate experience and goes beyond just the physical. What would those you befriend, call family, or invest in you in whichever context think or how would they perceive you or even your partner? Skeletons don’t always stay in closet’s. Anyway. That’s my philosophical rambling but it’s food for thought.

Comments

RHP User

3 years ago

Not sure what the question is, but sounds like a sermon to me. Taking 'ownership' of another person's experiences feels possesive to me. I've never flown, do I begrudge my wife that she has been on a plane, no. Life is not a list of experiences to tick and flick, leaving nothing to excite once they've been done. I'll listen to my favourite artist thousands of times and still enjoy the album just as much the next time. If someone else loved that band before I heard of them, a d listened to that album before me, does it make it any less special to me? No. My love for my wife is built from who she was when we met, her experiences and journey made her that person, and how we have evolved together since then. Every lesson learned, both wonderful or hurtful, that we've experienced together have strengthened that love.

reply

like
Rising_Phoenix

3 years ago

Life is full of firsts and also full of repeated actions that are made entirely different when performed with different people. We never stop growing and learning so the notion that anyone’s “done it all” baffles me. I’m very open and honest about my past because it all makes me who I am and while I don’t always like everything I’ve done or been through you can guarantee I’ll be able to tell you what I learned from my mistakes and successes, if you can do the same with wouldn’t that make for an even richer and more beneficial connection (using you and me as a hypothetical example)? I think people become numb when they hit their breaking point after seeking a connection and being disappointed repeatedly, it’s only natural that you switch off and stop seeking it, just enjoy the physical instead...then if they don’t fix themselves they can quite easily became sadistic, narcissistic users who think it’s ok to punish others because of their past, that’s always a sad outcome and really, really horrible to encounter. Then their victim becomes a bit more jaded too...how does one protect themselves from that? You look after yourself, acknowledge and accept your past and most importantly learn from it and actually make the mental and/or physical changes needed in order to make life better. You can’t not feel betrayed by people and even by yourself at times, feelings can be buried but only temporarily, we have to process the them in order to really learn. People will only try to attack each other for their pasts if you or they are doing something wrong in the present, when you’re a good person who’s surrounded by good people they’re not going to suddenly start hating you because of the lessons you learned on your way to becoming who you are now.

reply

like
Rising_Phoenix

3 years ago

P.S. I don’t know where to start with the red flags in your profile, I hope your able to make the changes you need to in order to have a happy life.

reply

like
Champagne333

3 years ago

Click to view content

reply

like

Curious to hear opinions & thoughts:

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help