M39
Current trend of attraction has me concerned
September 17 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
But if you figure it out, please let me know. I seem to be a married man magnet. I come back to the fact that i'm independant and self reliant....married men like this, single men...not so much.....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
It's human nature to want something you don't have.It happens to the best of us "SINGLES".I've been single now for almost 5yrs.There is nothing wrong with what you are doing.As a single, I think sometimes I want to switch roles, and be part of a couple, as they always seem to be having fun!!And couples must think sometimes, oh I wish I was single.But REALLY who has all the fun?? couples or singles??Maybe that should be a Forum Topic??So who knows the answers to your question - would love to know as well??And Coops, There is a lovely beautiful woman out there for you - she just hasn't found you yet.FoxyPS- What does "or worse" mean? *insert thinking man*
-
RHP User
11 years ago
For some of us that NSA may be best, take care of the physical desires and needs and forget the rest. At the very least there is a lot of honesty in that kind of relationship.
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Coops, ever wondered why married women flirt with other men? Its pretty straightforward. in any society, there are people who are attached, and those who are not. But regardless of our relationship status, the majority if us like to feel validated as attractive to others, and will flirt and position ourselves to create situations where others offer this validation. The attached/married women still flirt with you prove to themselves that others still find them attractive, even if they have absolutely no intention if taking flirting any further. And it's likely that your newfound positive energy is appealing.... certainly, it's more appealing than a reserved and socially submissive man. But if the majority of the women you're meeting are attached, consider shaking your social circles and environments up a bit..... and there are ways to do that to bring fresh faces into your world. DG PS You say.... "unfortunately I'm a moral man" What the....?!! Be PROUD of your integrity!!! DG
-
Beachlover1999
11 years ago
I also seem to be a magnet despite it stating quite clearly UNATTACHED on my profile so OP please don't be disheartened I have to believe there is MR Right for me that is available, hot sexy intelligent, that can cope with a strong independent women and NOT vanilla!!!! Lol .......hence like you Foxy single for 5 years!!!!! Just for.......don't drop your values it really won't fulfil you in the end........ Good luck lonely hearts!!!! ;))))
-
RHP User
11 years ago
This "Morals" thing has come up a few times within differing contexts and has quietly irked me every time.The definition of Morals is: A person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.There is no such thing as an absolute moral (which is how it is misused). The moral standard you refer to and use as an underlying and implicit truth is culturally then individually subjective for starters.I agree that "being true to your own morals and standards - especially when it is not in your own self-interests to do so" as being a very valuable personal trait.Many times now the OP and DG among many have articulated a respect and acknowledgement of the the other person's (generally a woman is the subject) independence, value and equality - I certainly agree as would most.How do reconcile the above with the stated and often implied immorality of engaging with a married person and why have you designated it as immoral within your own framework? So long as you are not yourself betraying a monogamous relationship your morals are intact ?Do you not respect her ability to decide what is right for herself or to hold different values than your own ? It seems you are prepared to forsake her (whom you supposedly are attracted to and respect) and deny yourself on the whim of projected morality. There are a million reasons why someone might become unfaithful to a monogamous relationship and ultimately most are terminal. You know how complicated things can get with commitments and responsibilities so the fact they haven't physically separated is understandable. It strikes me as counter productive. We spend our lives searching ... in this case she for a way out, greener pastures, a reinvigorated future .. you not only turn away this woman who is way out on limb showing her interest and risking plenty to connect with you but you imply she is immoral ?Sorry I disagree and would behave accordingly. Plenty of people have married or attached themselves to the wrong person at some point. If in then end the concerned parties bring happiness to their lives there is nothing immoral or even negative about it.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
ask them if they have a single sister or friend....update your status on facebook,use social media,you probably already have a circle of friends,sonetwork....go to all those engagement parties,weddings etc that you may think are boring,that's where single young women hang out.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Indefat, if coops's mild comment irks you,just check out the''Lying cheating husbands/wives threads ....now there is moralizing in a big way
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'justforfunisall' For some of us that NSA may be best, take care of the physical desires and needs and forget the rest. At the very least there is a lot of honesty in that kind of relationship. and for guys thats self honesty, when they say I am just here for the fuck. And women need to say, I am just here for a the fuck so long as a boyfriend comes out of it.NSA means exactly that, and until people face up to that, then the communication lines will forever remain tangled up.And to the op, holding up the morals clause is like trying to hold smoke in your hands.If you do not want to go there, then don't. What she decides to do with her body is her choice and seems to me that another guy will soon come to give her what she needs. So step aside sunshine and line up with the moral policeits a fucking long line
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I stand by it. Perhaps for some of us it is a better option, at least in the short term. Coops, one thing though....nobody is worth betraying your own values for. Perhaps if you are worried about encouraging attention you find uncomfortable owing to the other party's attached status, you could just explain how you feel about it.
-
madotara69
11 years ago
No strings attached, but for the puppet on a string.I have seen on several occasions where a married lady has battered the eyelids to single men, had them believe they were falling for them, fucked them, then gone running home to shock the hubby for better of the relationship. Sure the relationships altered course and seemed to be in repair? Though the single guys get fucked over and become the enemy.no strings attached? How often does that really ring true.Mado
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Mado my honey,all about String Theory,the particles that always stick.....lots of men and women here say''NSA unless something more comes along''...tricky,sticky string xx Freya reading macrame patterns
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I remember mum and dad had been learning macrame, the works hung from the ceiling and they wore Kaftans while macrameing.Sorry coops
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
Thank you all for your opinions. @Indefatigueableme Sorry for irking you but when i said i was 'a moral man' i meant that i adhere to 'my morals'. I realise there is no set rules of right and wrong though some many can mutually agree. @Lady Tuscan I'm certainly not disillusioned by thinking that my non compliance will stop them from seeking another at all :). What you say makes perfect sense but i personally will not accomodate or encourage their infidelity so to speak. Hard as it may be sometimes but by not standing by my personal beliefs is only cheating and betraying myself and my integrity. @Superfoxxy The or worse is my nephews mother who tried whilst with my brother who has had another child to someone else and has been with him for a long time has made it clear she wants to meet up for nothing but 'hot steamy sex' as she put it. Really not sure how to feel about that one.- Posted from rhpmobile
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
That although i don't believe in it personally , as i stand in the cue of moral people i do so without thinking i am better than other's. Each to there own, though certain things i wont tolerate such as men being violent towards women. If people have a problem with that one they can kiss my posterier :)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' No strings attached, but for the puppet on a string.I have seen on several occasions where a married lady has battered the eyelids to single men, had them believe they were falling for them, fucked them, then gone running home to shock the hubby for better of the relationship. Sure the relationships altered course and seemed to be in repair? Though the single guys get fucked over and become the enemy.no strings attached? How often does that really ring true.Mado Unless he had a pacemaker and the insurance was good.I think that was shit doing that to anyone. To use someone to get a reaction from somebody else.I dont tell my husband, he knows I am on RHP and I think it would be a shock to most people to know exactly who I am bonking. they would say nooooooooo way , you took that to bed? Holly fuck , I want to tell myself who I am fucking, just to shock myself back into reality. But I rather like the fantasy that RHP providesLadyT humming, I enjoy being a girl....and there are no strings on me..well maybe some cuffs and rope on the odd occasion, does that count?
-
madotara69
11 years ago
A while ago, we received a message from a lady inviting us/me to meet with her and some other men and join in for a gang bang. Flattering, Tara saw the innocence with the ladies request and offered that she would not be upset if I wanted to oblige. It was quite liberating that Tara saw the no strings attached side to that invitation. We were very new to this lifestyle and we had shared company with another man, Tara was thinking rationally and showing care for us.If the invitation was in reverse and aimed at Tara, then I would not feel so rational, for my own reasons. Though if Tara wanted to explore the idea, I would search deep to respect her wish for doing so and insist with being by her side for caring to her decision.I chose not to honor the ladies request, because if Tara is not involved and part with the pleasure, I am not interested with NSA activities.I am sure there would be a fair few who would see and maybe call me a fucking idiot, for turning away to a spectacle as such. But that is just how I/ we see things to be.I believe the term NSA is thrown around way too loosely, and if it continues to that trend then it becomes vulnerable to stand with no meanings at all.Oh Lady T,... Tara also knows how much I very enjoy flirting with you ladies. And that is a privilege that I take blissfully.Mado, Tara xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Is bullshit in my eyes. Its just that...NO SATISFACTION ALWAYS..and yes I believe there always is strings attached. There is always a hidden agenda. I don't care what anyone says or they try to convince me other wise. I will stick to that as its part of my core values. I believe when one continue to have NSA sexual relationships they have some deep troubled issues relating to themselves (ie childhood etc etc) and they use NSA as void to fill that, to smooth that issue over, an easy way out instead of (as DG would say...) manning up to the real issue. Its a poor excuse really in my eyes. This is just my thoughts.....and not everyone will agree. I'm with you Mado on this as well, a term used to loosely. FOXY- Posted from rhpmobile
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I stand by coops, for his way of thinking and consider that a guy like such, is a gift to you ladies...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Sometimes we gotta just try out different things to see if it is what one really wants.FOXY
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps with it being a short term thing, NSA for a while is just a way of minimising the impact of those who like to play games while still satisfying (to some degree) a physical need.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
It is just that....a short term thing to fulfill a sexual need.After a while it's get boring...real boring.It's not a mentally healthy way to have healthy sexual relationships.I believe it does more damage than good.It's a personal choice.I don't condemn those who do it.FOXY
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I can understand the direction with your thoughts, I think I do. As long as people understand and can make a conscious decision to the chance of consequences, if the dice do not land quite how they hoped when thrown.NSA is a very tight term, If it wanders to effect anyone outside its realm, then it has become an ill-excuse and for in itself of no true values.I think that is quite important to the term NSA
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Because I have been on both sides... I understand the hurt of loving, of giving every emotional fibre that you have to someone, of going the extra mile to be there for them, for financially supporting them, listening to their pain, and being supportive and suggestive of how to deal with that past and to talk of hope and a happy future. To be told that you are loved, for being you... For being the caring, passionate and protective man that you are. But then to learn that each day when I went to work her so called "friends" would come calling with alcohol and "soft" drugs... How does a woman repay such "generosity" ? How many women have you flirted with at the pub who say that they've just had an argument with their man... What a bastard he is... Here, I'll buy you a drink sweetie... The odds are that he's a pretty decent bloke who has a partner with addictions... Try talking to him to get his perspective... So today, here and now and future, MY decision is if your partner is not present, then I need to speak to them on the phone to verify that you have an "open relationship". Deceit hurts. I've written this from my experience... And I know that the roles are often reversed, with shades of grey involved. In the end we all have our own morals... And your morals are right for you... I'll continue to make my choices. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I don't have a problem with... But if its ongoing NSA... I would need to ask myself what do I want in my life ? I'm a passionate type, I enjoy intimacy, kissing, caressing, whispering, licking, tenderness... I enjoy taking an interest in my lovers life's, how their kids are going, work, etc. I'm certainly not spiritual, but I really enjoy people with a bit of soul, and if I have all of this, then at some point I need to ask myself "why aren't I enjoying this every day, instead of once a week/fortnight/month" etc ? Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Said it before..... NO such thing as NSA, unless you're a comptehensively selfish or useless one-bang-lack-of-wonder that nobody would ever want to see again. Because if you're worth contemplation of a return casual shag, the string of wanting to see you again exists. Investment of time or thought is a string. NSA = sexual selfishness.... I await the usual criticisms :-) DG
-
RHP User
11 years ago
No way I coined that ages ago. NSA = no satisfaction at all.... Except for him. 😙 Another perspective, Coops are they actually hitting on you as in wanting a fling or is it some harmless flirting? I reckon lots more women would flirt... It's fun and makes everyone feel good but often men take it the wrong way and assume you want to sleep with them. Therefore single women are more careful when flirting whereas a married women doesn't have to be because she knows it isn't going to lead anywhere. Or that might just be my take on things....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Yep you said it....I can't remember which Forum tho?? It's so true!! :) :) FOXY- Posted from rhpmobile
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I don't think that , in this case the attack on men should be emphasized. And that NSA applies to all genders, as to part with this topic, It could very well be the opposite as except for her.Mado
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
@Meeka I'd say it's been a combination of both but since once it reaches the degree where it seems like it could lead to more i make sure not to encourage it further intentionally or not who knows for sure. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
a very passive agressive suggestion from nephew,s mother...what a great way to divide a family in my opinion
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'No way I coined that ages ago. NSA = no satisfaction at all.... Except for him. 😙 Right here: http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Why-is-sex-a-race-for-so-many-men-41726 I still say it stands for No Spooning Afterwards.
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
@Freya Indeed i was surprised she didn't see any problems with it. @mesmerised No spooning? :(- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I agree mate... I'd spoon her into orbit :) In a sensual, passionate, caring way... Oops, sorry mesi, I didn't realize you were there... 😘 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
Spooning is half the fun in my opinion haha. I've had more dreams simply just spooning a woman rather than fucking her. I dunno if that's just me or not - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I take the point about when NSA wanders outside those boundaries and I would have to agree. I am guessing the other option recommended is celibacy.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'd take celibacy over NSA anyday.FOXY
-
RHP User
11 years ago
But illusion, even self delusion can be attractive in a moment of weakness. No matter how short lived Foxxy.
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I have read opinions within these forums, that the peeps who post in here, may come across different than so, in the RL.Though if you were to be yourself, like you are in these forums, then I would imagine celibacy would be only short term.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Mado & Tara,I am just me, for good or ill. I am exactly who I am. I like who I am and I am comfortable with me. Here or in the big bad world.To be brutally honest...and I am pretty sure it would be the same for just about everyone here....if it was a case of just getting laid, that's not something that is difficult to achieve. Despite my current train of thought and my current feelings, I can't just jump into bed with someone on pure physicality alone. So perhaps that means it is not ultimately NSA. I'll think on that. I wouldn't sleep with someone I don't at least know a little (excepting maybe a group situation under some circumstances). I definitely won't sleep with someone I don't like just to get off. For me Recent reflection (some would say navel gazing) has just left me wondering if I really want anything too deep for while.A friend told me I don't have the right kinds of fear once. It took me quite a while to really understand that statement. I don't fear many of the things people commonly fear. I don't fear death (VERY different from any kind of death wish, when it comes I will be clawing with my fingernails to prevent it), I don't fear physical injury much of the time, I don't fear looking foolish etcetera. The things I do fear are all more internal things. I fear helplessness, actually I am not sure if it is fear or stubborn hatred. I fear an inability to live up to my own ideals sometimes, even though so far at least I have by and large been able to. I fear my mistakes may hurt someone else.I think I am rambling a bit now, a combination of lack of sleep, some nasty work things and the fact that I have night shift tonight so I am a little messed up!Bottom line is that maybe I should choose a little celibacy or a little NSA to preserve my sanity at the moment. As I said, I doubt many people here could "get a root" to put it crudely, but maybe at different times in our lives, other choices are definitely preferable. Anyhow.....just my thoughts.....I think too much.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
One other thought occurred to me Coops. Have you considered the possibility that you are feeling the attraction towards women who are unavailable or perhaps even placing yourself in situations where these are the women you are meeting subconsciously so that nothing will happen? Only you could possibly know this. You definitely seem to have the integrity to stick to your own beliefs about getting together with attached women, which is a good thing. Are you perhaps putting yourself in situations where you know nothing can eventuate for some reason?I don't mean any criticism by any if that, it was just a possibility that occurred to me.
-
madotara69
11 years ago
I have not been knocking NSA, just expressing my views to to the integrity that yourself and coops is suggesting.In my view NSA should and needs to be entirely about just having some fun. And you both are showing us the best in yourselves.I do not know if it has been coined, though I see NSA as Naughty Sex All above board.Mado, Tara xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I just read your 2nd last post...WE all go through that - even women on here!So don't feel alone, your thoughts are normal.FOXY
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'IndefatigableMe'There are a million reasons why someone might become unfaithful to a monogamous relationship and ultimately most are terminal. "Most are terminal?????" Aww honey I feel for you to have such a negative approach to relationships. Yeah divorce and sepparation rates are high. And yes I agree with you that many people pick the wrong person for them as I once did, and they end up in poor relationships or unsatisfied to some degree as also happened to me. I am now happy but truly believe that if I stuck to the mantra of "Most relationships are terminal" that I would still be single as I would not take that step and commit for fear of failure. I have been attached to a few different partners in committed relationships most of my life without spending much time single, one of which was married to a man for 16 years who unfortunately developed a dependance on alcohol. So out of everyone I can and could jump on the negative bandwagon and prevent myself from loving again. Perhaps a more positive and less jaded outlook on relationships is in order. There's a soul mate and in fact more than just one out there for everyone. Be possitive and the right partner for you will come along. Don't see relationships as having an ultimate and unavoidable end in all cases please for your own sake. Give yourself a break and be hopeful and you might just get what you are looking for. There's truth to the power of positive thinking.And OP there's a simple answer for that dilemma with the lady that is coming onto you. Just tell her to knock it off and stop it please, then move on to find that special person in your life. Flirting by someone else doesnt stop unless you verbally let them know it's not welcome. Unless you want it to keep going then it's up to you to stop it.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Last bit was meant to be I doubt many here could not get a root if that's all they wanted.....bloody typos
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Single here with no baggage :)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Wefuckgood, does hornblower mean that all relationships are doomed ? Or that infidelity in a marriage condemns most relationships to doom ? I read it as the latter... Hopefully he can clarify for us. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'wefukugood' Quoting 'IndefatigableMe'There are a million reasons why someone might become unfaithful to a monogamous relationship and ultimately most are terminal. "Most are terminal?????" Aww honey I feel for you to have such a negative approach to relationships. Yeah divorce and sepparation rates are high. And yes I agree with you that many people pick the wrong person for them as I once did, and they end up in poor relationships or unsatisfied to some degree as also happened to me. I am now happy but truly believe that if I stuck to the mantra of "Most relationships are terminal" that I would still be single as I would not take that step and commit for fear of failure. I have been attached to a few different partners in committed relationships most of my life without spending much time single, one of which was married to a man for 16 years who unfortunately developed a dependance on alcohol. So out of everyone I can and could jump on the negative bandwagon and prevent myself from loving again. Perhaps a more positive and less jaded outlook on relationships is in order. There's a soul mate and in fact more than just one out there for everyone. Be possitive and the right partner for you will come along. Don't see relationships as having an ultimate and unavoidable end in all cases please for your own sake. Give yourself a break and be hopeful and you might just get what you are looking for. There's truth to the power of positive thinking.And OP there's a simple answer for that dilemma with the lady that is coming onto you. Just tell her to knock it off and stop it please, then move on to find that special person in your life. Flirting by someone else doesnt stop unless you verbally let them know it's not welcome. Unless you want it to keep going then it's up to you to stop it. Most monogamous relationships are ultimately terminal once either party becomes unfaithful does not equate to "Most relationships are terminal"
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' Wefuckgood, does hornblower mean that all relationships are doomed ? Or that infidelity in a marriage condemns most relationships to doom ? I read it as the latter... Hopefully he can clarify for us. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it... Clearly the latter - I have been married for 10 yrs. The monogamy dies the rest doesn't have to go with it.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Changing your Music collection, Chris Rea and others like him can be a real deal breaker.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share