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Define naughty

December 07 2015

From a bookshop: "Dear Santa, I'm writing to tell you I was naughty. And it was worth it, you fat judgemental bastard." So - what did you do this year to get onto Santa's naughty list? And what do think should be under your Christmas tree as a reward? A sumptuous lick-able candy cane? Mrs Claus? Something from your adult shopping wish list? Something or someone to deeply redden Santa's jolly red cheeks?

Comments

  • Single_Guy4U

    Single_Guy4U

    9 years ago

    WTF is that ? I haven't been naughty for so long I expect Santy to deliver a redhead, blonde, and brunette under the tree as a reward. However, I suspect he probably hasn't noticed and therefore it won't happen (seeing how busy he is and all). It is possible though that he may shout me a new BBQ this year, seeing that my old one is not working so flash.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Dear Santa, i'm writing to tell you i was naughty, and it was worth it, you fat judgemental bastard haha hang on i've lost it here, laughing so hard. Hmm I have been naughtier than many, but not as naughty as just as many, and not nearly as naughty as i'm gonna be next year, so shove that in your big red sack 😯

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    9 years ago

    I've been naughty indulging in some ball slapping and pussy slapping lately... I think Santa should bring me a set of bed restraints

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    You fat judgemental bastard (I just love saying that 😁) I want 365 large packages (lol just thought I'd throw in the large, is Christmas right?), so I can unwrap one every day next year mmm

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    and it went TWANG!!!! I think he should get me a new car lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • lovman8

    lovman8

    9 years ago

    but if I'm to be one of your presents its the re-wrapping that appeals to me.......hoping you have some nice pink juicy wrapping material,..........or perhaps you might go for some oral wrapping material.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I've been more bad on the fora than anywhere else, so I totally deserve a lump of coal here. Santa, make it two lumps please, plus a carrot, some branches for arms and a whole heap of snow. ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    9 years ago

    Its not that I've been a bad boy..... .... but that I am a bad boy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Naughty..never norty..I hate that word..it has an inbuilt snigger😁xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I have been a very naughty girl, I have seduced many women and introduced them to the wicked world of girly sex. Perhaps I need a few hot skilled male lovers to remind me why we still need them in the bedroom....

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Hello... (leaps on his lap). Oh, was that your bones I just cracked? Note to self, dont wear spiky leather jeans when sitting on Santa lap. I definitely have been very naughty, in thoughts and in action. I have kept my naughtiness well under wraps and nobody knows about my dirty mind except the kinky fuckers here in RHP. Shhh... please dont tell the unsuspecting cubs I still have to meet.... Despite my naughty librarian look, i have pursued my carnal desires on the hot men of RHP (all consentual of course) and tested the deep murky waters of the sexual taboo that my daily folks inhabit.. Ooh lala I am past redemption so will just have to continue on the path of hedonism and sexual exploration i have set myself on. No need for details. For my reward, dear bastard Santa, i have made up a list of goodies i deserve and expect to find under my tree: - heavy duty handcuffs (7 will do), - box of gaffa tape in pink, - extra strength numbing gel, - a tub of lube and- 8 hot oiled men waiting under my xmas tree dressed in nothing but gold lame g-strings and bowties only. Tthat is one for each day of the week and a spare. That will keep me off the streets until Easter which by then, i shall repent and be absolved of my sins. Thank you. Your sweet Angel Lily.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Out here in the sticks I haven't had much opportunity to be naughty so if you could ensure I meet a few hotties on my travels I would be most grateful .

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Haha leaping on Santa's lap, hilarious 😀

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Haha my wrapping material is the cheap kind. Is that what you mean? lol no frills, just gets the job done haha

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I live in the sub-tropics without a chimney,how will you find me?Perhaps you could be a Ninja Santa...now that would be naughty and nice 🎅🎄💝😘xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Farts in elevators!!!!

  • Badbabe469

    Badbabe469

    9 years ago

    Hi guys n girls. Not as naughty as I would have liked to have been but like CountryChic said, its hard in the sticks. Have been a little bit naughty with my Sybian though. Just when they think they have had enough, I turn it up a notch and watch them have an orgasm that out of their control hehehehe OK so maybe a tiny bit naught.I would like Santa to bring every woman a Sybian so they too can feel the magic

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Touch come's to mind.? lol. Wacky , wonderful and ever ready to take the piss outta herself and anyone she fan us... Breath of fresh air.. Touch , I'm not flirting , just reckonize another train wreck when I see one... hehe...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    She fancies...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    'She fan us' haha the train wreck strikes again lol. Auto correct cracks me up 😁 thanks btw

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Single_Guy4U Think I saw your name on the much-try-harder list I_touch_myself2 - I heard from the elves you're on the way to the Hall of Fame Naughty List! I think you deserve plenty of gifts. Emptying of a sack or two. Missb72 - lovely. I think restraints, and a new ball gag. Just in case someone moans when they should have yelped - or is that yelp when they should have moaned. Stirry -_- Meander - I think that snow should be shaped into a 6'4" sculpture. I think it would have especially big organs. By that I of course mean heart and brain... (maybe) Mischeviouslad - believe you're on the the keep watch list. Freya70 - If you're on the naughty list, Santa won't be on the look out for your chimney. It's in the elves hands now. But how about a gentleman word-smith who'll interrobang your grammar, so you'll only be able to write in cursive. unicorn99 - I believe Mrs Claus put you on the list herself. I think you can get anything you ask for! lilyorchid I think you'd have fooled Santa for too long, and you're now securely on the naughty list with your 8 oiled men. pics please! Countrychic1962 - if you promise to get a crop out, I'm sure the elves will try to wrangle up a cowboy for you Badbabe469 - Christmas is the season of giving and you've proved yourself so naughty you're almost good.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    lol... Yeah, that fkn auto correct can make or break you ... Accolades deserved btw... just saying it as I see it.. don't get a fat head, leave that to me... down boy... lol..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Brilliant, so funny. Love the space for Stirry lol i'm proud to be in the hall of fame naughty list, i'm honoured 😁 to think I used to worry about getting a 'reputation' for sleeping around when I was young, not that it stopped me, I did anyway, but now i'm proud lol owning the inner slut 😯

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'PepperRose' Countrychic1962 - if you promise to get a crop out, I'm sure the elves will try to wrangle up a cowboy for you Is oiling up the hobbles and sharpening the spurs a bit too much? Crops are so tame .

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    you lot get common definitions..... I get a whole league to myself!!! *flips you all the finger!!!* :p lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Lovinit28andKC72

    Lovinit28andKC72

    9 years ago

    I've been good this year, I really have, I promise.....😇

  • lovman8

    lovman8

    9 years ago

    but your "inner slut" is very much "out there" ........ on these forums any way. And I approve of you nomination for the Naughty Hall of Fame!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I_touch_myself2 - steady - you're on the way. Haven't cemented your place yet. See what you can do in the next 14 sleeps to ensure your pride of place there. I have utmost faith! Countrychic1962 - wicked! And never too much. But with that, I think we need to organise an additional strapping young stallion, and we should see what we can do about a bit gag, in case he needs taming. Giddy-up! Stirry - yes, words failed me. And there wasn't the room for interpretive dance. Lovinit28 - Now you say you've been good. And I hear you've been good. But the elves have told me that you're on the naughty list. In fact, you're on there with permanent marker. What a to-do! Listen, while you're here can you help choose lilyorchids 8 oiled men. There is a room full of oily, writhing specimens. We'll send the 8 up to the wrapping department. By wrapping department - I mean to someone who'll tie a ribbon on.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I love you too xxxx :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Damn you mean everyone knows i'm a slut? 😱 mission accomplished haha 😜😛😎👍

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Hmmm sorry can't talk right now, busy, must cement my place in the hall of fame naughty list 😀

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'PepperRose' Countrychic1962 - wicked! And never too much. But with that, I think we need to organise an additional strapping young stallion, and we should see what we can do about a bit gag, in case he needs taming. Giddy-up! Pepper, I think I've found myself a stallion but he's a bit older and more experienced so there could be a few kinks in him to ride out yet......or maybe the kinks should stay for future exciting rides?! Only problem is he's in WA. Lucky I'm travelling there next year! Now where's my bloody Akubra as it's damned hot and sunny over there?

  • lovman8

    lovman8

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Countrychic1962' now where's my bloody Akubra as it's damned hot and sunny over there? Its not just a hat you'll need, as sexy as that attire in your photo is, it just isn't suitable for riding, how ever it does show you have fine legs which in my judgement would be excellent for riding. You may have to get jodhpurs or perhaps you could ride bare back. And while some mounts like to be ridden hard and put away wet generally a good rub down is in order. Good luck with breaking your stallion!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ...covered Lovman. Still have the moleskins, my checked shirts and my riding boots. Bareback is a bit risky on a strange horse. I never put a mount away wet but have given them a hose down on a hot day and skimmed the excess water off before letting them loose for a good roll. Hahaha....I love double entendre

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Countrychic1962 - I have trust in your punts. If he is tried and tested I'm sure he does well in the wet. I_touch_myself2 - looking forward to the detailed report so I can write up my submission to the Hall of Fame folk. lovman - I said honey, I said pet ... now listen. You can't get on the Naughty List from osmosis. If you pass this way again, you're going to have to do it of your own sweat and mess.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    that it is always the quiet ones to watch

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    To unwrap under the xmas tree ... wait... I don't have one... ok under the real pine trees outside... :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    SYDnobarbie - so true. Need to keep an ear out for those types. They usually have wonderful secrets, with all their half heard whispers, barely caught requests, husky soft voices against the ear. Can you lend a hand in the wrapping department and I promise to only half listen. countrytouch - after a tree nymph are you? I've seen one of those around. Someone waiting for you under a pine, mistletoe in hand, hoping for some of your Christmas spirit?