Deleted messages, why?

April 23 2021

I’m not offended or angry, just curious, do you do it? If so, why? I’ve had many a person delete their messages and I usually just pay no attention to it, until the other day I decided to ask someone (I’d already told him thanks but no thanks when he messaged me again then deleted it before I could read it). He told me it must have been RHP glitching then tried to strike up another conversation, when that didn’t work he blocked me which of course makes me think he was lying about the glitch. There’s also the ones who will delete their whole side of the conversation then try again a while later like I can’t still see my side of the conversation where I’ve rejected them and given a reason. I’m honestly baffled, are people seeing something different from their end or are they honestly just hoping I’m that stupid that I’ll just ignore the previous interactions and start over like they’re not right there on my screen? I’m beginning to think people that delete are just rude, manipulative jerks but I’m more than happy to be told otherwise if somebody could please shed some light on this for me?

Comments

  • Want_2_play_xxx

    Want_2_play_xxx

    4 years ago

    Will be very curious to hear people's thoughts. Have always thought it must be deleted from their side (and no longer seen) so partners could not see the messages. But maybe I'm wrong 🤷😃

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Nah, don't sweat it. Why give any thought at all about their delete? This site. Any site. Is full of social misfits. Let them be. Similar. Had a nice chat with a couple last week, as we are new joiners. He then clicks on our Datefinder and "express interest" for tonight. He then messages: "Hey, can you send some nudes?" I replied with: "Sorry mate. We don't send nudes." He deleted. He blocked. I chuckled.

  • LittleGiant

    LittleGiant

    4 years ago

    I'll often have single guys that i've politely said no to come back a second or a third time after they delete messages. I think what happens is that they delete the conversation, so then when they come to message you again, they don't realise that they've messaged you before, because the conversation doesn't exist on their end. When they go to message you again it will be a totally new conversation. I think the ones that delete the message right after you've said no say 'no worries, thanks for the reply' and then delete the conversation immediately, not realising that it deletes from the receiver's inbox as well. I don't think it's people being rude or manipulative, just not realising how the system works! Miss Little xx

  • jessica__rabbit

    jessica__rabbit

    4 years ago

    Yep happens, and usually after you've said you're not interested which definitely makes me think they've gone on a foul rant. I'm guessing they delete because they assume you've read it immediately and don't want evidence that you can report them. Not that admin takes any action when you report abuse anyway so they may as well go for gold. I've reported several people for disgusting messages this week after I have said I'm not interested and admin has told me they will not take any action and that I should leave the site because I clearly don't like the type of people who contact me. They also blamed me for antagonising someone because I said I wasn't interested, got 6 abusive messages then called him a 'dickhead'. This site encourages disrespectful and degrading behaviour of it's users and admonishes people who report it. I'm sick of admin telling me I need to suck it up because saying no to someone is their idea of "antagonising". This site is a free pass for people to act like total c**ts without any retribution and anyone who calls out arseholes is then targetted. Moderators need to take a good hard look at themselves and the culture they encourage on here. Their abuse reports and policies are a joke if they're not going to uphold them or even message clients who continuously cyberflash after being told no. Absolute joke. I wonder how long my comment will stay up before admin decides it breaches their terms and conditions when I have screenshots of all the messages they seem to think are just fine and dandy??

  • KunningLinguist

    KunningLinguist

    4 years ago

    I’ve received the thanks but no thanks message. No harm done, we can’t all please everyone. I just thank the person for replying and wish them well on their adventures then eventually I’ll delete the conversation. If I should happen on the same profile again and click chat, it does actually tell me that I deleted the previous conversation, so there’s actually no confusion. Mind you, I’ll message people on the other side of the country if they catch my eye just to pass a genuine no strings compliment! Can’t really keep all of those messages 😊

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Maybe, they are not interested in you and like to keep a tidy inbox !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I think some people delete and block after being rejected or declined because they feel that gives them the final say. I’ll show them I’ll delete and block them! Some people may not like looking at messages that say thanks but no thanks so delete them. Generally people who message later I think either forgot they messaged in the past or are just trying their luck again.

  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    4 years ago

    We do it to keep a cleanish inbox 🤷🏻‍♂️ We’d probably only have twenty message threads that we haven’t deleted. We did loose our archived message folder during the site changeover last year though! On the old system you could see the message history attached to someone’s profile even after you’d delete them. These days if you delete a thread you’ve got no idea if you’ve chatted before.... but that’s what the block button is for! Those we’ve blocked, don’t take it personally😳 Oh, and we wait until the messages have been read before we delete, no use sending a no thanks message of the recipient can’t actually read it.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    4 years ago

    I agree with the general consensus that the guys get all up themselves and delete to show you they are in charge of proceedings. Lol. Been more than once where l have gone to escalate the convo to next level but the child has taken his footy and fucked off

  • BeccyBec

    BeccyBec

    4 years ago

    I delete messages all the time once I've replied if it was a no thank you reply. Nothing to do with hiding messages, just keeping my inbox clutter free.

  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    4 years ago

    Simple answer is ,because we can

  • Phoenix_Rising

    Phoenix_Rising

    4 years ago

    I hadn’t even thought about people keeping their clean inbox, (lol, mine’s never had a clean out) that could certainly account some instances. Power trips and or bruised egos probably account for the rest. Thanks for your enlightenment peoples 😊

  • ElectricDreamers

    ElectricDreamers

    4 years ago

    I delete to keep the inbox simple but have learned to make sure all messages hsve been read first to avoid messages about not being able to read messages...

  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    4 years ago

    I don’t delete anything...cos I hoard the fuck out of stuff like that... The whole idea that you can delete your messages after you’ve sent them is silly as people should only be sending stuff that they’d be happy to have read by all...the fact that people wish for that option shows they lack self control and need to learn it sooner rather than later.

  • Funtimes7077

    Funtimes7077

    4 years ago

    Once we've politely declined and they've read it I delete to keep the inbox clean. Or even if we've played and then never played again. Don't see any point having messages in there if you aren't going to play again

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    We delete only if both parties have come to a agreement that there’s no connection

  • NEWHOTCOUPLE

    NEWHOTCOUPLE

    4 years ago

    If you haven’t met up with the person there’s a good chance they have been reported by somebody else as a fake or misleading profile and therefore they get deleted, I had the same person message me back on to other separate accounts after the initial and got banned and I realise they were just fake as they can be

  • SthCoastCpl8

    SthCoastCpl8

    4 years ago

    I'm not sure if it's RHP that actually do the deleting? It's happened to us a few times and when we enquire of the people we were messaging, (where their messages have been removed), we've been told they didn't delete their's however they can now no longer see ours. Makes us think maybe it's a RHP thing?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I delete people that havnt replied to a first time hello where so and so. if they've read the message I give them a few days and ask say hello again if they see the second attempt with no reply it's quite obvious that their not interested and they get blocked. not being rude but we waste enough time on here and those sorts of couples aren't worth wasting out time on!

  • Phoenix_Rising

    Phoenix_Rising

    4 years ago

    Funny story, someone messaged me this week who had messaged me before then deleted their side of it. I told him we’d spoken before and didn’t match but he didn’t believe me so I showed him a screenshot. He then proceeded to again delete all his messages 🤦🏼‍♀️ Granted he may very well have been trolling but it got me thinking, maybe it’s better just to block people so you don’t forget and end up wasting each other’s time again. Each to their own of course but I think from now on I’ll manage my end by blocking anyone who deletes, that should make it easier and less confusing for all involved 😊

  • catman

    catman

    4 years ago

    So , I have done this and people have done it to me I honestly don't know why people have done it to me I feel I'm pretty honest and harmless and maybe I have said something stupid and obviously they've judged me on that that ... But anyway the times I have done it it's been a case of , 1 , Ive read what I have typed and gone "you dick " you sound like an idiot " . So I've deleted it . No.2 Ive sent pictures , and after a day or so I like to take them down cause let's face it you don't know who you are really talking to , and U don't know where you're photos may end up , and I am a little self conscious of my photos .. as for deleting whole messages , if you talk to someone for a few days maybe even weeks , then suddenly they're nowhere to be found or they just stop talking . I usually give it a few days then delete messages . Hope this helps .

  • Suzie

    Suzie

    4 years ago

    It’s hard to keep up with the volume of messages. Is there a better way to delete the people you’re not interested in? I can get up to 50 messages a day!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I delete old conversations that haven’t lead anywhere, never my intention to offend I like to have a nice tidy inbox 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    We do delete regualy because we like haveing our inbox tidy....kinda get sick of looking at messages and dic pics sent from people 1000s of klms away that have zero intention of ever meeting up🙂

  • FunLovinLovinFun

    FunLovinLovinFun

    4 years ago

    It’s nothing personal, well i never mean it to be personal, just clearing out the clutter - i’ve just started using folders which means i probably don’t need to delete anymore - no more offence! Happy days :)

  • Love2Travel81

    Love2Travel81

    4 years ago

    I’m one of the guys that just delete all of the message to clean up my inbox, then I may message someone again as I’ve forgotten! 😂 I’m not trying to hide anything, I just like to have a clean inbox, but I have realised lately it’s better to have a messy inbox and remember chats than have a clean inbox and seem persistent or rude 😂 The other thing I think RHP is stupid for though, is replying to a message counts as your daily “new message” count until that’s hit, then they don’t 🙄🤷‍♂️

  • PapaBear77

    PapaBear77

    4 years ago

    I’ve seen it happen a few times with “couples”... and more than a few times when I contact them again a week later they are still interested and *completely unsurprisingly* I get a whole set of new photos featuring a completely different woman. My favourite was one couple who over a month consisted of a hot late 30s blonde white woman, a 20-something Asian woman, and then a 20-something brunette white woman. Needless to say they get reported pretty damn quickly... I don’t actually delete anything, mainly so I *know* if I’ve dealt with someone before already or not 🤷🏻

  • casedkandy

    casedkandy

    4 years ago

    Who cares?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    We recently joined and I’m using the app on my phone. I hit the X towards the bottom of the page when browsing and my wife said that deletes not goes back a page 🤦🏼‍♂️ Possibly some have done this in error?? I’m not saying every case but now I use the back arrow

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    4 years ago

    It's just happened to me. In a private message I can see my recent messages deleted (both from me and receiver) but ones in January are still there as I can see them. Strange and bizzare. Ms Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    If I believe the conversation is over and it’s not going anywhere I delete and move on. If I read my message the next day and cringe, I regret my actions and delete it. There are heaps of reasonable explanations people delete it. If you aren’t a paid member, RHP will sometimes delete it after several days, if there is no response. And then they ask you to pay. It’s hard not knowing why, but I am sure you will find something much more interesting if you keep looking forward instead of trying to figure out something you have no hope of ever understanding probably.

  • Mr_Southside

    Mr_Southside

    4 years ago

    I'm one of those 🤪. I guess I'm abit OCD and for me is a form of keeping tidy. I get I'm not everyone's cup of tea so when I get a reply of no interest or the reply seems to be not coming I delete the conversation, don't see much point in keeping it. I'm not sure if that's the case for everyone, but hope that helps 😁

  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    I never considered they might be hiding conversations from a partner that’s plausible, i just figured they were impatient not getting a response, and angrily deleted everything. On the whole ive always thought it poor form on their behalf. I cant stand people who unfairly request something from me and don’t reciprocate themselves.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    This shits me no end 🙄