F61
Depression & Anxiety
February 02 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
about four years ago my life fell apart,and I became depressed.I tried to take valium but it left me in a haze My doctor recommended that I see a psychologist,at first I was resistant,afterall I worked in the helping professions and so I thought I should be able to help myself.However I was not functioning,I couldn't even meditate,I was agitated ,could't sleep,and had chronic short term memory loss. Eventually I decided to see the psychologist that my GP had suggested I go to. She was not a sweet kind person,in fact she was quite brutal but she helped me enormously. She helped me see all the positives in my life,to not put myself in the way of people and situations that could cause me unecessary stress. My life is back on track,I have the occasional ''black dog day'' but that is so rare now,maybe once every few months. I have a fortunate life and celebrate that fact every day. If anyone is suffering from depression,help is available but first you have to recognise that you need it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mainly because it is actually so very common. In previous years, many sufferers were unaware of their condition. These days, awareness is higher and doctors recognise symptoms and diagnose the problems earlier. Personally though, I think that antidepressants are overused and counselling should be more prevalent.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am no expert, but I really didn't want her going onto medication and wanted her to seek professional counselling first in the hope that it may help and there be little or no need to seek chemical help. She was at a very low point in her life circumstantially, so it made sense to me to try and change her life and hope that her mental state would follow. She had also had a past history of becoming dependent on medication both legal and illegal, so I had good reason to not want her to be medicated. She has spent the last 6 years taking anti depressants and has spent most of this time curled up in bed till the late morning, then going to bed in the wee hours. She ended up getting seratonin syndrome (not too sure what this involves, but was not good for her and was a direct side effect of the medication) so I do urge anyone to seek counselling first and if you feel the need to medicate, please seek the help of a doctor who will listen to you and don't be afraid to try different meds until you find the right one for you. Hope this helps.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Especially of one that has seen me as a sufferer, both in the past and I have no doubt in the future as well. There are a few people on here that know my struggle both intimately and there are those that can acknowledge that superficially I have posts that I'm just a complete nutcase lol. My experiences have been very lucky indeed. I could tell and quite often can predict my "nose dives." I make no excuses for it, I say some things at times when my head is scrambled and can't see shit from shoe polish. But I think that acceptance of oneself and the basking in the roller coaster ride that this debilitating condition can provide is one key in enjoying life WITH depression. One things for certain there will never be a dull day....just my thoughts :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
When i was 28 i had a nervous breakdown, i had panic attacks and anxiety to the point that i could not leave my house. I had 3 small children and was a single working mother.i got agrphobia to the extreme, i could not even check the letter box or stop at red lights or go grocery shopping or line up in quese you name it i had it.I was on medication for 8 years, i struggled every day of my life to function for my work as a manager of a big store..i ended up having to leave due to the depression and all the above.I still suffer from it a bit, but have no longer needed any drugs to cope i went of my medication about 6 years ago.You see nowdays i am in the public eye, i struggle some nights that are really busy with my panic and anxiety, people judge me and think i am a snob and ignore them sometimes they just have no idea what is happening to me.I have beat the demon and constantly face my fears there are good days and bad days, but i wont it win one more day and proud to say that i feel that i have come a long way.So next time you are at the club and think i am being a snob...or not smiling ( people stop me and say smile) that upsets me greatly as i am not drunk and not partying i am working and trying to cope...please just think..maybe she is just having her space and trying to cope with what is going on around me.I have helped many with the same as i suffered and helped them through the hard times, i am proud to say i am there for them all no matter what, if they call i am there, i have been there and know there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. It is hard work and we always have those demons ( so i call them ) but they can be overcome if you face them and make them know they wont win and you will be fine. xxxx Leesa.OMG i cant believe i put this out there but i am proud to be a survior and happy to assist anyone as it is horrible and took so many years of my life that i cannot get back ever again.
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MsChievious
12 years ago
I too have suffered depression in my younger years ... :-) ... As women, I believe we have to feel the depths of that slide, before we find the strength and inner reserves to find our way back to the light. Ultimately we are much stronger .. Its a very personal journey that few understand, but is oh so more prevalent than society prefers to speak of .. In my journey, I was fortunate to discover a type of healing that allowed me to work on my own inner beliefs about myself .. quickly and without the need to 'sit' in the feeling for too long. It keeps me centred, and gives me the space from others energy when I need. Google 'theta healing' ... it's life changing <3
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RHP User
12 years ago
I believe that it is a far too simple and over used solution to see a psychologist and pop pills. Rarely does that work.The figures for people suffering depression are I believe huge, far in excess of what the official figures are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There's never been a point in human history where these centuries-old diseases of the mind have been better recognised, understood or treated. I am very grateful that awareness of these conditions has increased and the stigma has gone a way to being lifted so that the topics can be talked about openly without the judgement that occurred in previous generations. I've seen the shift fairly recently, with groups like BeyondBlue and a few prominent celebrities spearheading the change. Personally I wish BeyondBlue was doing all of this advertising about the symptoms of depression/anxiety back when I was in high school. I might've been able to recognise what was going on in myself and some others close to me years earlier! But I am glad that people less than a decade on have access to such great information and support.Just a note on medication if I may. (Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, an unqualified pervert posting his 2 cents worth on a sexy forum does not constitute competent medical advice, always talk with your doctor and pharmacist about starting, stopping or changing any medications.) I was very resistant to using any kind of medication myself because I'd listened to some unreliable information about what anti-depressants do. When I found out the facts about anti-depressants, especially the ones called SSRIs (like Lovan/Prozac, Effexor, Zoloft), I realised that they're not addictive or instantly mood-altering. I've used them for years without being addicted or without my personality being changed like it would with addictive or more drastic medications. There's strong evidence to suggest that most people recover the best if they use these medications under supervision from their doctor in addition to counselling. There's a higher rate of recovery with both methods combined than either method alone.However the medications Ruby mentioned, tranquilisers like Valium or Xanax, are completely different. They are instantly mood-altering, they are potentially addictive, and they are dangerous when taken in overdose or in combination with certain other medications or alcohol. In my opinion doctors over-prescribe these sorts of medications. These should be used with great caution under close medical supervision if prescribed by a doctor, to avoid the risk of making things worse in the long run.So while it is very smart to be cautious about psychiatric medications, they are not all the same. I encourage anyone with the symptoms of depression or anxiety to talk with their doctor about the suitability of anti-depressants. I suggest reserving the caution and resistance to the more drastic sorts of medications, and particularly the potentially-addictive tranquilisers and sleeping pills. All medications have risks that the doctor weighs up when she or he prescribes, but the risks are far more dangerous and common for things like Valium/Xanax/sleeping pills than they are for anti-depressants.
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RHP User
12 years ago
But for me, it must be like child birth. I know it hurt, but I can't recall the pain. I usually rally in a month or so and usually it's related to sex. As in sudden denial of ~rolls eyes~Back in my early 20s, my first breakup left me down for a good 9 months. Sleepless, bitter and Impotent. Then one day i just decided to get over it. Actually I don't really recall making the decision. It just happened.But it was a good lesson for me. It has given me broad emotional shoulders. Since them I’ve rallied from people I've loved far more deeply, and usually in a couple of months. I'm actually pretty proud of this.For me, it's about letting the hurt flow past for a while. Then when the level seems shallower, you step on out of it. It's also about identifying what's upsetting me and letting the fuck go. Some things you just can't change or fix.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Mainly because it is actually so very common. In previous years, many sufferers were unaware of their condition. These days, awareness is higher and doctors recognise symptoms and diagnose the problems earlier. Personally though, I think that antidepressants are overused and counselling should be more prevalent. The sad thing is, there are not enough resources to get that counselling in the first place, (unless you can afford it) so medication stabilises it.Also, some people are so far gone by the time they seek help, that they need medication to help them to function and then they can receive counselling and try to get well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd say from personal experience with clinical depression and anxiety is that it is finally being recognised as a very (and unfortunately) common illness, i think Beyond Blue has done a marvellous job getting it culturally accepted and talked about. GP's are also more clued up on what to look out for, which makes diagnosis and referral much easier. As others have said, there is no one easy solution, it's a combination of your own support network, resilience and finding help in the form that suits you most whether that be spirituality and alternative healing, medication, counselling or even losing bad relaltionships/environments that hinder your happiness. I personally found medication was not the route for me, i had a rare reaction to one i was prescribed in that it actually made me feel suicidal and a little psychotic, so my GP took me off of them immediately and i had counselling and did some personal meditation instead. Was it hard, yes, but i also had good friends to pull me through. Work places however are still pretty crap with mental illnesses, as it's not seen and sometimes not visible management just tell you to cope and get to work without helping with a mental illness plan a lot of the time. I know with my work they didn't allow me to go to part time hours, they took away my email for 2 years because in their words 'we don't feel email will help your conidition' which made me feel chastised and belittled. It's only recently they have done a review on their HR policies and treatment and vastly improved it. I've been mentally healthy for about 5 years going now, and studying mental health this year to do some support work as i feel i can help others and provide some good assistance. My hope is that if i can help just one person not feel isolated or judged, then i've done a great thing .
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Couldn't have described it better myself. My sister suffers chronic panic attacks and has done all her life. My sister-in-law is a nurse on anti-depressants who after listening at length to her and what she has seen every other day in her career I believe is one of the strongest resilient women I know. Another sister-in-law is a happily married, well off, successful social butterfly on anti-depressants and counselling, my nephew has been on anti-depressants since he was 10 now 24 and happy. My oldest sister was on them for a while. My mother is the strongest, most intelligent savvy and streetwise business woman alot of people say they know, who never travels anywhere without her serapax lol just in case she's at a set of traffic lights and has a panic attack! I never understood what/why any of these strong people in my life would become "reduced to dependancy on a little pill". I often said I would never be reduced to a tablet......that was until I crashed and burned and had a nervous breakdown 3yrs ago and spiralled out of control. It wasn't just the depression, not getting out of bed, keeping my daughters home from school so I wasn't alone, clawing at my partner and begging him not to go to work and becoming faint, not knowing if I was going to shit myself, blackout, vomit or what as he'd help me back to bed, crying and disoriented. Even then I kept saying I was too strong to be reduced to a pill and that I'd get over it. I was better than this, I didn't need a shrink or medication. Yer right! I even plotted murder against the assholes who'd stripped me of my 17yr career in rail for simply standing up against a child rapist and a conman, thier actions enabled him to not face any rape charges and I was punished instead. (sigh) Lol I have to have faith in karma because I know I can't possibly get away with murder.....I'm too honest!!! Anyway, everyone at some stage in thier life IS going to experience depression to some degree or another. Some of you may or may not recognise what you are feeling IS depression/anxiety. My best friend funnily enough was not only scared at seeing me become what I was and so broken but also was thankful (in her words) to be able to give something back to me after all we'd been through together in her struggles. I'm still not the woman I was prior to my breakdown BUT I'm certainly not the woman who sat in the bathtub at home with a knife and bottle of pills when I was at my very lowest moment. It's true what they say people. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I'll get back...not to where I was....but to where I should be, happy, resilient, and able to rideout any storm that comes my way, face to the wind and screaming out my joyful defiance in the face of adversity and rolling around laughing at every success. AND more importantly I have friends who understand and who would help me dispose of a body......hahahaha. Depression/anxiety isn't the end and it's not going to be the defining moment of mine or your life. So, go chat to your Dr, see a counsellor and take that jagged little pill. Trust me, it'll make you feel stronger and better in the end. Words from a Wayward Angel on Safari. xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree with other posters that there is a greater awareness of mental health and wellbeing however whether that awareness is translated into true understanding by the general populace, I am not sure. For example, I remember a friend with depression having the plumber suggest he "just get over it". I think the range of treatment available has improved however one thing that concerns me is when people with depression and anxiety self medicate, counsellors will sometimes refuse to see them because of their drug usage. I find this somewhat counter-intuitive and surely this is when people need additional supports. Another thing that needs to be brought more into the open is depression and suicide. If someone dies of cancer, we don't blame them for their death yet if someone suicides as a result of depression, many people take a high moral ground and make statements like "they are selfish, how could they do this". Suicide can be an outcome of depression and rather than lambast the deceased person I think we need to be more accepting of this fact. It might help the family recover quicker. I got anxiety and depression when I burned out at work several years ago and while I consider myself recovered I have to admit that my previous level of motivation has never fully returned and its quite easy for me to slip into a state of sadness that lasts a day or two. I don't call it depression as I do function, however I function with a heavy heart. Peachy, you have raised a topic that does need to be spoken about openly and sensitively. Thank you.
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
The Ruby that slippery_halo mentions in his post is not me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've practiced it for about 5 years now. I highly recommend it. :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
(insert who/what you pray/meditate or whatever to) ... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. And ..... HUG someone everyday :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
... a very sincere thank you to the Op for posting this thread. You rock Peachy! KK xxxxxx
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rc_80
12 years ago
We have done extensive research on this subject, as it has effected our lives in a massive way. Depression is a terrible thing, and can ruin lives, families, etc. There are a handful of studies over the last few years that have shown a change in diet, and no medication, has had a much more positive result, than simply medication and psychiatry/psychology.The side effects from antidepressant medication are warning enough, to seriously question their use in todays society.We dont suggest you stop taking antidepressants. We recommend this book:https://secure.cchr.org/store/book/just-because-you-are-depressed-doesn-t-mean-you-have-depression.htmlThere are no chemical or physical tests, like regular "medical practise" that can determine depression. There are no brain scans to determine mental illness. 1 in 10 US citizens over the age of 12, are prescribed antidepressants. This is an ASTOUNDING number.The rate of commissions paid to doctors is considerably higher, for antidepressant prescriptions. That alone should ring alarm bells.We encourage those that suffer from any form of depression to do independent research, and to not take your doctor's advice as the only option.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Was so that I could know that my success was from hard work, on my behalf, not because of the medication. Irrespective of the type and nature
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have extensive personal experience with mental illness and am still in the process of claiming my life back after years of turmoil. Yes depression and anxiety are much better understood and accepted these days, but there is still a way to go. There is still a significant amount of stigma, secrecy, and ignorance around these conditions and even more so for other clinical conditions such as bipolar and schizophrenia (I personally believe the media has a lot to answer for in this regard). I do admit though that I am very thankful to not be living 70 or 80 years ago when signs of mental illness would often result in forced incarceration in an asylum and an ice pick through the eye!!My own experience with mental illness has translated into a desire to help others facing similar challenges, and I intend to seek work in the mental health field once I finish my degree.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ghostbusters' Was so that I could know that my success was from hard work, on my behalf, not because of the medication. Irrespective of the type and nature or that your success is because you were on it... In fact it is hard work being on medication.I am very proud of my success, it is due to my will & hard work first, being on medication for 10 years has enabled me to function to be able to do that...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Peachy Pear (hmm...very summer and winter, a lady of all seasons?)I have a few friends who are trained psychologists and I did some counselling. The first thing is you need to make sure that it is not something clinical in nature. I have a few friends who are full blown schizophrenics. They have to be on medication. In their case, valium helps but only symptomatic. The underlying problem still stays there. The psychologist is great for helping out with emotional trauma or issues. You do not need drugs for that and they rarely prescribe any. One of my friends say he gets paid to be a friend to his patient. It is true actually. Most people who are depressed feel that they cannot talk to anyone or they have no close friends to confide in. Talking about it helps but up to a point. A counselor or psychologist will help you find your own way out, something that you want to do rather than someone tells what you should do. Younger people are more depressed because they have more choice. For some reason, choice is too hard for some people.For some reason, a lot of people like being told what to do, so that if it fails they can blame the person for giving bad advice. Taking over the counter medication to calm yourself down is not a good idea. I also have friends who get anxiety/panic attacks. Sometimes, just being on the phone with someone (hopefully someone they trust) can help calm them down. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I have never been depressed. Been down before, sure, depressed no. I cannot relate to people who are depressed so do not even try to offer advice. The only thing I would say is find someone you trust, really trust, and open up. Hopefully that person won't run away. If not, find a good psychologist and stay with him/her until you get yourself sorted out. Is it going to be a permanent cure? Nope, you will get your ups and downs. But at least you now know how to handle it. Good luck and take care of yourself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My first post was about people who do not need medication. Then, there are people who have a mental illness. They need medication to function well. It is very hard work for them to accept they have a mental illness and even harder to take medication. For those people, they need to have their medication and getting off it is not a good idea. I mentioned I have some schizophrenic friends. They get paranoid that the medication is harming them and don't take it. This makes things worse and their thought process becomes worse, feeding their fears. They are still very smart, but they are living a lie in their heads. Think of the Matrix. It is all a lie but you believe it to be true. People need to open up with their doctors as they are usually passive, thinking doctor knows best.That is not true anymore. The doctor needs patient feedback so that he/she can find the best medication for the patient. Each is different as people react differently to them. Also, look out for side effects from the medication. One friend does not drink because alcohol has a bad reaction with her medication. Another friend binge drinks. You can only advice but they are all adults. The problem is people want a quick fix. They give medication for people who really don't need it and don't give medication for people that do. Medication is also not the only answer, they need to accept that their is something wrong and want to manage their lives. After that, things will hopefully get better.I personally believe that life is hard work. If it is worth having, you work hard to get it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well I suffered as I said for many year probably about 15 years. After about 6 years I went to see my docitor, I had seen him many times, he would send me to counsellor s , they didn't understand they would talk to me like they knew what was wrong, I am sure none of them ever even had a panic attack in their lives.. They would tell me to meditate...think nice thoughts....and the rest..omg I reckon I saw 10 of them over the years. I refused to take medication I was terrified, you see as a panic and anxiety sorta person knows, we panic at the thought of taking any form of drug at all. When I finally saw my doctor again, I was crying , I could not breathe in his surgery...you know that lump in your throat, the shaky hands, the disorientation...I was gonna die I was sure.. He asked me what was wrong...I stated crying uncontrollably...I said.' I just want to be happy'...he said to me ...FINALLY..you seek my assistance and you have realised you need help I have been waiting for you to come to me and say that...and he said okay I am putting you on Zoloft are you going to help me make you better..I said yes. I had just moved in with Bryan I was a mess I thought how can this man take on a crazy lady and 3 small children. My children were 6.4.2 it was 20 years ago. I went home that night and lay in bed, I was crying, I didn't want to take a tablet, I thought I was too strong to have to resort to that, it seems it meant that I was weak!!! Bryan held me and I took a glass of water and swallowed the tablet. I cried myself to sleep, feel my heart beat in my head, waiting or some form of Side effect. In my bed I stayed for 4 weeks....only getting up to go toilet..I was a wreck it hit me like a brick...my children..it was the first time I could not be a mother to them. It broke my heart. On about week 4 I got out of bed.....I walked out on the verandah and stood there looking at Bryan playing my kids in the paddock of our property....I remember it was the first time I smiled in years...I thought how can this man take on my children...love them. Care for them, and me...and only have known me for a short period... I felt stronger than I ever do..and that was the beginning of my 8 year journey to getting well. I had ps and downs...I still and always will be a sufferer of a mental illness....YES I have a MENTAL illness. Nothing to be ashamed of....I take that on..it doesn't mean I am crazy..I just have less serotonin than others and needed assistance to get on top of it to assit my brain in functioning. I went off medication after 8 years....I still suffered but was able to control .. Then I meet John.....I was terrified of having to go shops with him and Bryan I didn't want John to se what I was like.. So I forced myself to confront my fears once and for all... And guess what after years of not allowing the demon the win..I won.... I have the best guys in the world..3 grown children and 2 grand children...they are all well adjusted and good jobs and great lives. I look back now and think. Well I must have done something write..I got through it all and raised 3 wonderful children I to awesome adults never a day of worry from any of them. I am blessed and truly a survivor...I now hep many of my friends, I am a shoulder when they don't have one. I am the ear that u dear stands, not the shrink that studied it and thinks he knows...... Leesa xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sadly these days depression and anxiety are more common than you think.The facts are though that a large number of people will not admit to being a sufferer because of the stigma attached.I have suffered from depression on and off 15 years, brought on by a bad work place accident. I have also been on and off meds, and am happy to say off them now and hoping to stay that way. But i do feel that these days Dr's all too freely write a script for meds without trying other alternatives first. I with support and reassurance from family and friends am starting to finally get on top of my problems.But the other issue with being diagnosed with depression and prescribed meds is the MINORITY of people who use their illness as an excuse to attack/treat badly/abuse others for no obvious reason then flippantly state "sorry, u will have to excuse me, forgot/haven't had my meds". like it gives them free reign to be nasty vindictive arseholes and we will let it ride because they have mental issues.TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WISH TO BE TREATED, AND DONT ADJUST YOUR MEDS WITHOUT YOUR DR'S CONSENT.JMO, TRUELY YOURS
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was diagnosed with depression at age 19, and in spite of that today at age 29 i still understand very little about my condition. I was on medication for my depression for 18months, not a single brand worked to keep me balanced (changed brands (and strength of doseage) every three months pretty much). It was when i turned to meditation and other forms of exercise that i started to notice an improvement. I wont lie i still have very bad dark periods, but i also count my blessings that the ppl in the world who matter most to me understand my situation and can offer me the love and support in need when i am feeling low. Most people don't understand that it isn't something that will just go away (that it is always with you in one way or another), so they think your being over dramatic about things - and that upsets me. Almost everyone (outside my friends and family) i've told i have depression has come back with the comment "you don't look drepressed" - pulls hair out - WTF is with that? It's not anoutward showing concern. It is moving out of the shadows and is no longer a taboo subject, but at the end of the day unless it effects them personally (either themselves or an immediate family member) most people don't seem to care about it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ghostbusters' Was so that I could know that my success was from hard work, on my behalf, not because of the medication. Irrespective of the type and nature While I agree that anti-depressants are over-prescribed and doled out too often by GPs, the fact is that for many people medication is a valuable tool to help manage their mental illness. It isn't often the sole answer, but combined with counselling etc. it can make the everyday functioning that bit easier. And for some mental illnesses such as bipolar and schizophrenia it is basically a necessity. It's funny how we don't think twice about taking medication for a physical disorder that will help us to function and live fulfilling lives, but when it comes to mental illness many of us hate the idea of having to take a pill every day, and think it makes us 'weak' or taking them is a 'copout'....which is just not true. And even if you take medication you still have to work damn hard to overcome the obstacles and manage the illness....the meds aren't some magic cure that suddenly makes life a cakewalk. Unfortunately a lot of people - particularly men - still hold these ideas that admitting to and seeking treatment for mental illness is a sign of weakness and failure, and a lot more work is still needed to change these misconceptions.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' The Ruby that slippery_halo mentions in his post is not me. My apologies ruby_blossum, I got confused with user names. Ruby_blossum is correct, I made a mistake and I apologise. I meant to refer to Freya13's post.
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RHP User
12 years ago
... a beautiful post :-) This thread has been amazing to read, so many great stories of strength and resilience. KK xx
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
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RHP User
12 years ago
As luck dragon said there is still a lot of stigma attached to depression. After going through some very major life changes over the last year and spending over 2 months in hospital with major depression I can tell you now the stigmatism is alive and well. Found some very unlikely sources of support but also a lot of "friends" who deserted at the same time. Very brave posts here it's not always easy to talk about as sometimes people's ideas of support are the worst thing to say to someone coping with depression. unlike rockercouple, I'm a big supporter of taking advice from your doctor. While medication is not always the answer in some cases it is the only answer. The hardest thing is finding the right medication to tackle the type of depression you have. I was very lucky in that the medication I was put on has changed me enormously. I wasn't even aware I was depressed until my relationship fell apart and I spiralled out of control. If medication is the only thing that you can use to get through it then you need to do what you have to, better to be over medicated than suicidal or a recluse. wish everyone the best with their battles and a big hug for anyone that needs it!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
This brief post is not intended to negate, diminish or gloss over the suffering of those with depression and/or anxiety problems. The world of psychology/neuropsychology/neuropharmacology and all the other brain related scientific continue to discover the complexities of the human mind but still in the 21st century knows comparatively little. What has endured throughout history have been attempts by some of the deepest thinkers to seek meaning in life, by theorising on what brings value to each of us. Of course, each of these thinkers have generally proposed different schools of thought and if you add in the world of religion then you could find thousands upon thousands of frameworks with which to follow in the search for meaning and value.Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is another example of contemporary frameworks used to provide rationality/logic and meaning in the life of those with cognition 'errors', which means ways of thinking about the world that cause psychological discomfort, unease and pain. I often wonder if there generally exists in contemporary liberal societies a vacuum due to an absence of an obvious value system, where the pursuit of a host of goals - money, career, romance, love, marriage/civil union, etc.. - is done for it's own sake without some context / framework or purpose. In that vacuum is confusion, pressure, dissonance, complexity etc... that leaves the unconscious mind ( which makes up most of our thoughts, feelings and emotions) in a state of flux and which contributes to depression, anxiety and unease. It's never easy trying to find a framework for living a contented life but there's much satisfaction in the effort, even if it's just to distract you from the inner pain knowing that you are taking constructive steps to be happier/less sad.
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verago250
12 years ago
I too suffer from depression.Have tried about 10 different medications and seeing a psychologist.Nothing seams to work.I know I need to change my life to beat the black dog,but there will need to be a change in agriculture so I can sell and move on.Till then no amount of medication or psychologic help will work.I think mental health, in particular depression is better understood and excepted now.I have had 11 family members with mental health issues, most with depression,2 of witch have died as a result.I cant count the number of friends and others I know that also suffer.Once you have it its there for life.All the best from one who knows the BLACK DOG to all who suffer it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'couplesint' Well I suffered as I said for many year probably about 15 years. After about 6 years I went to see my docitor, I had seen him many times, he would send me to counsellor s , they didn't understand they would talk to me like they knew what was wrong, I am sure none of them ever even had a panic attack in their lives.. They would tell me to meditate...think nice thoughts....and the rest..omg I reckon I saw 10 of them over the years. I refused to take medication I was terrified, you see as a panic and anxiety sorta person knows, we panic at the thought of taking any form of drug at all. When I finally saw my doctor again, I was crying , I could not breathe in his surgery...you know that lump in your throat, the shaky hands, the disorientation...I was gonna die I was sure.. He asked me what was wrong...I stated crying uncontrollably...I said.' I just want to be happy'...he said to me ...FINALLY..you seek my assistance and you have realised you need help I have been waiting for you to come to me and say that...and he said okay I am putting you on Zoloft are you going to help me make you better..I said yes. I had just moved in with Bryan I was a mess I thought how can this man take on a crazy lady and 3 small children. My children were 6.4.2 it was 20 years ago. I went home that night and lay in bed, I was crying, I didn't want to take a tablet, I thought I was too strong to have to resort to that, it seems it meant that I was weak!!! Bryan held me and I took a glass of water and swallowed the tablet. I cried myself to sleep, feel my heart beat in my head, waiting or some form of Side effect. In my bed I stayed for 4 weeks....only getting up to go toilet..I was a wreck it hit me like a brick...my children..it was the first time I could not be a mother to them. It broke my heart. On about week 4 I got out of bed.....I walked out on the verandah and stood there looking at Bryan playing my kids in the paddock of our property....I remember it was the first time I smiled in years...I thought how can this man take on my children...love them. Care for them, and me...and only have known me for a short period... I felt stronger than I ever do..and that was the beginning of my 8 year journey to getting well. I had ps and downs...I still and always will be a sufferer of a mental illness....YES I have a MENTAL illness. Nothing to be ashamed of....I take that on..it doesn't mean I am crazy..I just have less serotonin than others and needed assistance to get on top of it to assit my brain in functioning. I went off medication after 8 years....I still suffered but was able to control .. Then I meet John.....I was terrified of having to go shops with him and Bryan I didn't want John to se what I was like.. So I forced myself to confront my fears once and for all... And guess what after years of not allowing the demon the win..I won.... I have the best guys in the world..3 grown children and 2 grand children...they are all well adjusted and good jobs and great lives. I look back now and think. Well I must have done something write..I got through it all and raised 3 wonderful children I to awesome adults never a day of worry from any of them. I am blessed and truly a survivor...I now hep many of my friends, I am a shoulder when they don't have one. I am the ear that u dear stands, not the shrink that studied it and thinks he knows...... Leesa xxx You are an inspiration for many people Leesa. Good on you and the people around you for the support and freedom you had. I know a few people where the support mechanism was not there as they were in denial. You have been through it all and your experience can help others if they want to be helped. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' I've practiced it for about 5 years now. I highly recommend it. :-) Like everything else, mindfullness is a great tool but if not used properly, i.e. without proper guidance, you can make yourself worse. If you ever meditate or practise mindfullness - they are not quite the same but you can use one to achieve the other, always consult a teacher. Even for "normal people", whatever that might be, a meditation guide is important so that you don't hit any problems. So, should you do it? Most definitely. It is not a quick fix but a lifelong practice. Will it help? Most definitely if done under guidance. Not everyone can use the same technique and get the same results.
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RHP User
12 years ago
..that I've felt depressed, I've been able to put my finger directly on what was gnawing at me. Well it's always been pretty obvious actually. Work on one occasion, women the other times.How many people here were able to do that?And does being able to do that always help?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Quoting 'Ghostbusters' Was so that I could know that my success was from hard work, on my behalf, not because of the medication. Irrespective of the type and nature While I agree that anti-depressants are over-prescribed and doled out too often by GPs, the fact is that for many people medication is a valuable tool to help manage their mental illness. It isn't often the sole answer, but combined with counselling etc. it can make the everyday functioning that bit easier. And for some mental illnesses such as bipolar and schizophrenia it is basically a necessity. It's funny how we don't think twice about taking medication for a physical disorder that will help us to function and live fulfilling lives, but when it comes to mental illness many of us hate the idea of having to take a pill every day, and think it makes us 'weak' or taking them is a 'copout'....which is just not true. And even if you take medication you still have to work damn hard to overcome the obstacles and manage the illness....the meds aren't some magic cure that suddenly makes life a cakewalk. Unfortunately a lot of people - particularly men - still hold these ideas that admitting to and seeking treatment for mental illness is a sign of weakness and failure, and a lot more work is still needed to change these misconceptions. Quoting 'OneEmerald' Quoting 'Ghostbusters' Was so that I could know that my success was from hard work, on my behalf, not because of the medication. Irrespective of the type and nature or that your success is because you were on it... In fact it is hard work being on medication.I am very proud of my success, it is due to my will & hard work first, being on medication for 10 years has enabled me to function to be able to do that...
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have given me much food for thought, even stirred a few memories and an awakening awareness of different thoughts. Thanks to you!Thanks for the welcome back Freya. Valium and it's like I have to admit was definitely somethning I tried to avoid considering the numbing affect it had on me and not wanting to be another victim of addiction that could only make my life worse in the long run. I've fallen back on it at the worst times and then often I would only take a quarter of a tablet. It is not something my Dr surgery likes to prescrobe. I lost count of the counsellors I've seen, all sorts of good people who have all helped me in their way. They got me to not wanting to want to die and that was all I asked for to begin with.I'm glad it's more recognised than it used to be Jensman, there's still a lot of ignorance associated with it though, people who will call us nutters and question every word we say because we have admitted to being vulnerable in the past as well as rubbing it in every opportunity they get. It has left me loathe to trust anyone with my deepest feelings for a long while. This year is a new year!In my experience, I agree that it has to be a multi faceted approach to dealing with it Saskia. I've taken a bit of time off from couselling after achieving a huge goal late in 2011, it knocked me around big time for a while. Now it's time to pick up the reins again. I found groups were good too to get a sense that we are not alone, there is a world of people out there having the same problems as me, I am not so strange, not so different, I hope other people will get that sense from reading this thread. Yes I do think your post helps.Glad you like the post GB, I've read some of your story in the forums, that, along with seeing other people's stories in the forums, was a part of what encouraged me that I would be safe to post this thread. I couldn't do it your way, I've tried and I've tried lol. You are a brave man and I'm glad that works for you. Which brings me to you Leesa, yours being one of the stories I've read in the past and remembering the time you reached out to me to try to help and I was so angry I just snapped at you. I've come a long way since then. I remember the exact day I had my breakdown after spending years insisting my past hadn't made that much difference. It was the year I turned 30 and once I started crying I couldn't stop. It was in the happiest years of my life and the counselling I've had suggests I felt safe enough to let go of the repressed feelings at long last. Agraphobia sucks, I get out very rarely and even less on my own, I'm a trouble magnet LOL! I've often wondered how you cope at the club sometimes but obviously you are all doing something right from all accounts I've ever read. I hope people read what you've said here about how you feel at the club sometimes and remember that when it matters. I know they mean well of course.Thank you for sharing so honestly and openly! Hugs xxx.I will have a look at theta healing MsChievious, 'sitting' in the feeling tends to be a problem for me and one of my goals at the moment is to try to shift from where I'm at. I'm sure the figures mbrider are likely underestimated, as much as depression and anxiety are recognised they are still not well understood. For me, I wouldn't be without my anti-depressants, it is only in the last year or so I have settled down to taking them regularly rather than taking them till I feel better ad then falling into a slump again. It has been well worth it as I go from strength to strength.I knew you meant Freya as the only person who had mentioned Valium on the thread Slippery, it couldn't have been anyone else. From my point of view, the side affect of A-Ds (anti-depressants) that has bothered me the most over time and part of the reason I kept trying to go off them was the affect they had on my libido. I've tried many types and am currently maintained on a very low dose that I manage on most of the time. The valium is as I said to Freya. I was so untrusting of my state of mind at one point about 10 years ago that I asked a friend to hold them for me. She used them to try to commit suicide along with other pain meds of her own but was luckily found before it was too late, I would have lived with guilt forever. Yet another warning of their possible dangers. I agree with you about the potential possible level of threats from different medications. Poeople must use them and keep in contact with their Dr so he can monitir them. There can be in particualr a period of time where the body takes time to adjust and they can disturb the stomach and sleep patterns as an example of a what I've exoerienced. They take time to come into full effect and must not be stopped abruptly unless under medical supervision, also from my own experience.Lol LRE, for a long time, I thought as quickly as I snapped into it, I could snap out of it but I was wrong for me at least, it is good to hear it can work for others though. I can feel I'm on a new path this year, changes in who I allow into my life, who I listen to and starting to appreciate that a lot of people see the good in me has slowly but surely sunk in. I have hope. You must be there when I catch up with Sprinkles some time and we can talk more. I don't get out a lot :-DYour post makes sense to me OneEmerald, it would only be when I was on my last legs and wanting to take more drastic measures that I would 'give in' and go to the Dr. Counselling is pretty well available out my way, free via the health system where I did come across some amazing poeple but also some people that made me wonder why they bothered, the ones that left me feeling worse when I left than when I'd come in. We have a great low cost Women's Health Care Place too that I'd recommend to women whatever State of Australia they're in, usually the women that run these centres have had some experience of what you're going through and can really relate and help you realise you're not so different. I'd very much like to see something similar for men though I suppose the Men's Shed movement is a shift in the right direction. It's about time men were more recognised as being as vulnerable as women at times on many levels.Oh Lotus, your experience sounds terrible. I can understand the idea of feeling belittled like you're a child that needs to be parented by taking away your email (and any sense of control over your own life that you might have). One of the things I heard the most often during counselling was that it was all up to me, my choices about what we would talk about etc, all under MY control. That was very empowering and it is only lately that I am really understanding the idea. Workplaces really need to up their game and take into account that a large proportion of society is struggling and I'm glad to hear yours is getting the idea. more power to you and your goals, people don't choose to have mental health issues and having someone that understands that assisting them is a good thing.Wow Safari, your post is a beautiful example of how no one is immune to mental health issues AND that they can succeed despite or maybe even because of it. Also that you never can tell and that it pays to be mindful and not assume. My family has an history of mental and physical health problems. Your experiences sound very similar to mine and the way I felt about them. Not needing a shrink etc. Lol that you're too honest, I'm a bit like that too. I usually can't lie for any length of time and usually undo myself soon enough. Good on you for standing up for what you believed in, it's not an easy thing to do but I'm proud to hear what you've said today. Too often the person who should be praised becomes the one who suffers instead. Yes, it's true, we never go back to where we were (in blissful ignorance) but we do emerge as wiser people. I know not to piss you off at least LOL! I've become a member of CLAN and there is an office very close by where I suspect I will feel comfortable to go to for counselling. This year is going to be a good year for me!!! Vrooom Vrooom...Hiya Wild, lovely lady of the best hugs ever, online and IRL! I don't know if you know hugs have been a real big thing in my life. When the wrong person hugs you wrong, to be able to get past that is a huge thing, I thank you for a lot of the change in how much I appreciate hugs now. Moving on... You make good points, I've been lucky enough to have awesome counsellors who have worked with me most of the time rather than trying to control me, because I won't, I won't be controlled. This is my life and no one elses and I hope other people realise that taking control of your own life to improve it is empowering in the best way. It breaks my heart, and I know the feeling, that not to be here anymore would be best fior everyone. Suicide is not a selfish thing at all in my experience. It is my loved ones that have kept me here, I know deep down that they would not be better off without me. Thank you for your thank you Wild lady, you have a wonderful heart, strong enough to work through even when it is feeling heavy.Hiya Paintme, hope you had a great birthday. There's a saying about hugs?... goes to google, brb... That "we need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth - Virginia Satir." I couldn't agree with you more about that, mindfulness and positive affirmations being good therapy. To bring to the fore the good! I have to see if RHP will post a pic of my 'ring for a hug' bell. I bought two for a secret Santa gift last year and ended up with one og them, so appropriate. The other went to the lady running the group I attended lunch with that day and she is now taking it to meetings. How lovely is that! Makes me smile every time. Claire Weekes writes a couple of books I got a lot out of that sound similar to the idea of mindfulness.Oh KK, you dear, are too nice. I'd love to catch up with your shy self one of these days.Good to see you Rockers, that's some interesting and new to me information you're sharing with me today. I had a quick look at the link you supplied for the book and at a glance it seems an excellent tool to consider rather than just falling into traditional treatments which may in the long run not be the right treatment. The idea that Drs get higher commisions for prescribing anti-depressants is scary to me. It does ring alarm bells for me now that you mention it. The A-D I'm on costs twice as much on a pension card as any regular A-D I've tried before unless I use the generic variety which is standard rate. Last time the non-generic variety went up, it was by more than 25%. Your post has me questioning that more than ever. I'm glad I started this thread, I already have a far more broadened view than I have had in the nearly 20 years I've been using anti-depressants on and off.It does impress me Luckdragon that a lot of people who have had personal experience with depression and anxiety go on to become more caring thoughtful people. There's nothing quite like having experienced the affects to give a more personal sense of understanding for something that is hard to understand even from one's own experience. The beauty of what I am realising here is that it is not weak people (this is something I questioned of myself) who have problems and that often it makes more understanding people. That is the end of page one and I am going to post now for fear I may never catch up lol as well as imagining this is going to be a saga already!!! See you on page two! xxx
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Yes I know where my root cause lay. Yes knowing that helps but only very little. At the end of the day everyone has thier own burdens, thing is; it's our own choices that dictate how we shoulder those burdens. I still have moments where I can't get out of bed or see the point in waking up, those days are few and far between but they still happen. Destroying myself over things I had no control over (if I had chosen to be a coward and not help other people/families) isn't helping me or my family. Just gotta roll up ya bottom lip, take it on the chin and soldier on. It does and will get better. For everyone here in time. Thank you Peachy for this post it's surprising (and not so surprising) to KNOW there are so many other strong people out there who've been affected by this very human condition. Safari
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RHP User
12 years ago
I respect that everyone has different experiences and different ways of how they go about things. I am humbled by the number of you who put their stories out there, it is that sharing that will in the long term make a difference. And it must be recognised that there is no right answer. We all walk our own paths. THANK YOU!brb
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have suffered at the hands of depression for 13 years the first five went untold therefore un diagnoised,the catalyst for change was the loss of my little puppy dog girl sasha,after i lost her it was all down hill to the point of having a rope prepared with noose a ladder at hand and a sterdy wooden beam to attache said rope to,what saved me was a dream sent from my girl sasha were i dreamed that i was in a psych hospital surrouned by men in white coats,this led me to finally having a psychoticbreak down in my GPs room where i finally revealed all my thoughts and plans for suicide,which were emediately dealt with,with an police enforced 6 week stay at da Kilo centre at the POW hospital where i received the utmost professional help and attention from the men and women in white coats except for the fact that none wore white coats lol.I couldn't understand what was happening to me before the medical intervention,I was a man,bought up in the school of hard knocks where feeling sorry for yourself was frowned apon and depression never discussed,what was happening to me was alien and discraceful in my mind until being taught that this was not the case and that i finally maned the fcuk up and spoke out to get help did i become aware that what was happening to me was an illness where there was a chemical imbalance in my brain that had gone wrong and that it was not 100% cureable but with da right meds was manageable.To this day i'm on daily medication for depression which helps me so greatly,i have noticed quite a few people putting the boot into pills which from my prospective is just crazy as they have been life savers for me quite literally, this is not to say that they work every day i still have my off days but with the understanding of my condition and the help of medication i get through it and soldier on.So to wrap things up i can only say to anyone that is feeling confused,unsure,tearful,unhappy constantly please,please speak with your GP and other medical services such as life line or even your local hospital emergency department and get yourself the neccasary help that is vital to da begining of becoming well again,jamie.PS thank you little girl you helped save your daddy's life with your message can't wait to hold you in my arms again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thankyou for your sharing your beautiful stories............lovely brave posts...all of you
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RHP User
12 years ago
you get it ;-) *rings bell* hugs ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some types of depression can be there even when things are good, sometimes it can just be a matter of a chemical imbalance not a life event. That's not to say that life events can't make you depressed, but in a lot of cases they just exarcebate the condition.
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madotara69
12 years ago
I am a firm believer that nothing will get you down to far if you have a good mate.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
... I can come to you one day, if Shinas holds my hand ;-) KK xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh my post was deleted hmmm strange Must not be allowed to offer help to others on her didn't know that. Leesa xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Kudos and thank you to everyone brave enough to share their journey. You all have my utmost respect.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If the Black Dog of Depression yapping at the heels drives a certain type on line to seek solace and comfort during those wee small hours when sleep is only a memory through the fog.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some people do have chemical imbalances and meds can work wonders, but I know a person who just fell to bits, and I can fully understand why, she had bills coming in left and right, had just left a partner due to abuse and was very lonely and countless many other things in her life, I just feel the doctor was way too quick to get her on meds which ended up making the situation worse, sometimes all it can take is a good friend to help you whether that be in a practical or just purely listening sense. As someone else has pointed out, doctors get great bonuses for prescribing certain medications, and there are alot of organic ways in which to help too, but there is no profit in them...
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RHP User
12 years ago
There was no event which triggered his decline and he had no specific concerns to attribute to his condition. His doctor determine that it as a chemical imbalance, probably due to his steroid use as a competitive body builder. It was sad to watch and hard to understand until I experienced my own depressions. I resisted but eventually my doctor was able to get me on pristiq. It did get me through the worst time of my life but I was so relieved to get off it. The stuff not only stops you from bottoming out, it also stops you feeling joy and kills your libido. I still have bouts when my doctor wants me back on them but I refuse. Sometimes I will get inexplicably teary and have dark thoughts but I will never act on them. I would rather feel the lows than give up the natural highs. In my first post, I was not suggesting that there is no place for antidepressants only that they are too often prescribed and all too often used as the only treatment when really they should only be used to stabilise a person so that counselling can heal the damage. In a lot of cases (definitely not all), people are on them too soon and for too long.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...because the circumstances do not involve only me but I will say that it led to me doing some trully foul things that I thought I was incapable of.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There are so many sad stories around and your friend is not alone, even when she feels alone there is always someone who cares. Sadly there are so many medications out there that it is often hard to find the right one that helps. There is no magic pill to make one feel better unfortunately and sometimes these pills can actually make things worse. A colleague of mine recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and one of the treatments is the use of antidepressants. 3 days after she started taking it she fell into a deep depression and started thinking of suicide when she had never previously had any thoughts of self harm. people should definitely be wary of taking antidepressants and need to be monitored very closely! Life situations definitely do play a part in our emotions and I know it all too well but no matter what people need to be unafraid of seeing their doctor for help. It's this fear that people have of psych medications, that taking them makes them less of a person or weak that is the last barrier between people being treated for something that is treatable.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm a little surprised that you stopped feeling the highs with pristiq. Maybe your dose was a little low to begin with or it was the wrong medication because my experience with pristiq has been that I am no longer having the lows but I am constantly feeling good. Antidepressants these days shouldn't make you feel numb.
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RHP User
12 years ago
A very sincere thank you to you Leesa for all your posts on this thread! You're a queen! Chat very soon! Hugs... Mrs P
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RHP User
12 years ago
With one child, whom was a cutter and would physically assault the siblings, and will always be on medication, and now wants to seperate from the family because we "interfere" in their life, but we don't pay enough attention to them. One who then thought cutting was the answer to their pains( caught the other sibling cutting a couple of times), one whom developed anxiety attacks from the past situations, and recently OD'd on their meds as they weren't happy enough. The eldest child, whom tried to protect the other siblings from the attacks and harm, has become a psychiatrist to help other underprivilidged families from suffering under this behaviour and ripping their families apart. I once believed my partners "best friend" and my partner were conspiring to do away with me, even my partner had a complete breakdown from a rape that occurred to her five years before we met. All you can do is fight the system to get the best assistance, to recieve the most help YOU can fight for from the systems available, make a lot of fuss and bother. Medication, counselling, friends, self challenges, (occasionally, intervention)and excercise are all crucial to obtaining positive moves forward to "normality". great thread, good luck to us all!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've suffered depression over the last 14 years, near on half my life. I've been on various meds and seen various shrinks etc. I've considered suicide many times over those years but I know in my heart that I'd never leave my daughter like that. Having said that, in December last year I was hospitalised for an accidental (genuine accident, can't stress that enough) overdose on stilnox, Valium and Luvox, what happened was I took my normal dosage before bed and I awoke sometime between 2-4am and ingested a large number of tablets without realising it (1 of the side effects of stilnox is sleep walking/sleep eating/even sleep driving apparently) anyway I was taken to hospital and they pumped my stomach, I don't actually remember this as I have a 48hr window where I have no clue what happened. Long story short, since that day I haven't had any of my medication, I've stopped drinking and I kick myself up the ass every day and tell myself how lucky I am that I'm still here. I still have utterly horrible days but I somehow manage to talk myself through things, I still don't sleep properly and I'm still fairly anxious and stressed but I'm managing ok on my own. To all those who are struggling with your own issues- keep ya head up, talk to a friend or relative, try and do little things each day that make you happy. I've found that the simple things are often the most powerful. Good luck all
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Quoting 'Torturedcliche'I've suffered depression over the last 14 years, near on half my life. I've been on various meds and seen various shrinks etc. I've considered suicide many times over those years but I know in my heart that I'd never leave my daughter like that. Having said that, in December last year I was hospitalised for an accidental (genuine accident, can't stress that enough) overdose on stilnox, Valium and Luvox, what happened was I took my normal dosage before bed and I awoke sometime between 2-4am and ingested a large number of tablets without realising it (1 of the side effects of stilnox is sleep walking/sleep eating/even sleep driving apparently) anyway I was taken to hospital and they pumped my stomach, I don't actually remember this as I have a 48hr window where I have no clue what happened. Long story short, since that day I haven't had any of my medication, I've stopped drinking and I kick myself up the ass every day and tell myself how lucky I am that I'm still here. I still have utterly horrible days but I somehow manage to talk myself through things, I still don't sleep properly and I'm still fairly anxious and stressed but I'm managing ok on my own. To all those who are struggling with your own issues- keep ya head up, talk to a friend or relative, try and do little things each day that make you happy. I've found that the simple things are often the most powerful. Good luck all xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Heya OneEmerald, I get where you're coming from and I appreciate where GB is coming from too. I wanted to say that depression and anxiety is a very personal thing and the ways we all respond to dealing them with are individual as we are all individual. Whatever path we take to get where we're going is the right one as long as we end up where we want to be while understanding that others have their own paths. The mind is a complicated thing, that's for sure. Lol zu7bcv, a lady for all seasons, I love that. In my experience I've done a huge amount of work trying to deal with my demons... psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, groups, alternative therapies, etc to get where I am today. I have a font of wisdom that lives inside my head and battles with lessons beaten into me during the formative years of my life. Is no wonder it all gets a bit much sometimes, I'm living in a war zone lol. I feel that learning acceptance of myself and accepting (despite many messages to the contrary delivered by the cruel world) that I am okay is going to get me a long way. I'm associating with and listening to friends now who have my best interests at heart and provide support and positive messages to help me believe in myself. I can't thank those friends enough for believing in me. I had to first accept that I could believe them rather than those life long lessons that are tooo easy to fall prey to. Yep, I did want a quick fix to begin with, being ignorant of the realities of anxiety and depression, I'm a much better educated girl now though. There is no simple answer to a complicated problem (for most).I can relate that I remember questioning why Mr P would put up with me even at the beginning of our relationship. I sat him down in the car and told him all about me and my life up to that point, the good, the bad and the ugly so he knew what he was getting into with a woman who had a child from a previous abusive relationship, a woman who came from a severely abusive and negectled background. He could relate to some of it. We did something right being together these more than 25 years later. I still question him sometimes, he still stands by me as I stand by him. :-D She_devil, to use our condition as an excuse to behave badly is doing a disservice to the problem and ourselves. I have apologised and explained to people in the past after deleting them as friends when I've had one of those all too familiar moments where I withdraw, sometimes because my meds were too low or things were getting to me but it something I have always felt bad about. As a throwaway child, forming lasting bonds is something I've worked on in particular, I still have my moments though and try to get back on the horse as quickly as possible. The people who have understood and stuck by me have been a great help with this. Some people I have allowed to move on because our relationship wasn't good for either of us. Absolutely I agree with keeping up with the meds if we're on them. Life is a struggle enough without putting more stress on ourselves and the people who care about us.C_mitchell, it must have been very hard to knowingly start coping with depression and anxiety at such a young age. I've always admired people, usually women, like yourself who have recognised what is going on for them and had the guts to pick up the ball and run with it and take the chance to make the best of their life as soon as they can. I like the new pic Hotfiggettydamn, it's good to see your face :-). Your story is a very familiar one to me, and one I've heard from many people, it is sad but for the best in the long run that we lose those people who don't belong with us anymore but it can still hurt for a long time. I can't help but feel they are the ones mising out. What you said here rings very true for me "If medication is the only thing that you can use to get through it then you need to do what you have to, better to be over medicated than suicidal or a recluse." I'll take that hug and share it around... geerously!!! ;-)Hiya Cuvee, I read an article in the Digest about happiness that I will likely type out later, if I can't find it on the site and copy and paste it lol. I think it is a good example of some of what you are saying in your post. Hi Verago, depression is very prevalent in society and there does seem to be some link to it running in families, I know my birth family has many health issues mental and physical. I think from my experience, for some people though it is a passing phase brought about by some event and some move on to never suffer from it again. It must have been hard for you to experience so much suffering that friends and family have gone through as well as struggling with it yourself. I hope things will change for you in whatever way it needs to so you can move on. xxxNo, you're right, it's not always that easy LRE. For me, I have a wonderful family and a good life as difficult as it can be at times. I have minmal coping skills though and I've spent a lifetime trying to learn to cope better. There are so many emotions that battle with each other including guilt amd anger, and a sense of worthlessness instilled in me at an early age and it has been a real battle to get through that. To have any confidence in my life or any trust has been an uphill battle. I try to focus on the positive because there is plenty of that if we only look for it but getting out in the big wide world and seeing the glass in the kids playgrounds and the way people behave too much of the time with a focus on their own selves gets me down. The child in me still wants to explore and have fun though and I think that's a lifesaver for me. :-)Thank you Safari, I am finding the experience of being a part of this thread life changing. It's not like I haven't spent a lot of time with people from all walks of life and understood that we weren't all that different once we got to know each other but it helps me to see that people, men and women both are only human. Like me! xoxHugs and back pats all round, we could do with a warm fuzzies thread. What makes us feel good and the admiration we hold for people, individually or as a group. Anyone? I'll be back for page three, sorry I got so far behind
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey, hey, heeey Jamie, you do know that seeking treatment would not necessarily be looked on as manning up I hope. Depression for men is not as recognised as for women with support systems only being put in place in a small way that I know of so far. That makes you a braver man than some that you accepted the reality and worked with it imo. I'm impressed with the way you got on with dealing with a problem and making the best of it a lot of people, like myself struggle to accept the need for medication etc. Hiya Shinas, it is something of a relief as well, to be able to talk openly with people of like mind and maybe dispel some mysteries. LOL Paintme, you can ring my bell anytime! If you're really nice to me, maybe I'll show you my boobies... I think I owe you one. :-) Hugs lovely lady xoXoxAgree with you Hotdiggetty, what some can take in their stride becomes a new level of Hell for those struggling already. I'm glad for you Mado, I have a great mate, but as wonderful as he is, I have problems. I don't know where I'd be without him. :-)KK, you would both be more than welcome if Shinas is tempted at all. I'd reward you both with hugs! ;-)Thanks Ms_D, I've been very impressed with what everyone has been brave enough to share here myself. Wonder no longer Handmaiden, I'm sure you're well aware with your experiences of other people's experiences of how depression and anxiety can affect sleep patterns, I know I have found friends on fb to be a welcome distraction in the early hours when all around me are alseep. A complicated situation with the medication Jensman, not mine to comment on really aside from my own experience which I have already done. Yes, I'm totally embarrassed by some of the things I did during the rages that would come upon me years ago. There were times I was out of control and it was amazing that I didn't get into more trouble and hurt myself or anyone else with the danger I would put myself into sometimes. I always came running home and it is with the love and support of my little family that I became to realise that I wasn't so bad. It was just my behaviour sometimes. I've worked hard to change that to be able to live with myself and feel proud of me. Whew Murdoch, thank you for sharing your experiences, it occurs to me to feel especially for the people who are closest to us, who care the most and are the most affected. I know that was a large part of me wanting to get better for them but it's not till now that I've really wanted to ger better for me. Kudos to us all. I hope you are all in a better place these days.Tortured, welcome and thank you, a big journey you've taken so far for someone so young, I'm glad your accidental overdose was a fail as I'm sure you are. Good on you for being so proactive and making the change that you needed to make sure no such thing like that happens again. Yours is a good example of what to be careful about with medications. I'd like to see more effective remedies that weren't so threatening to our wellbeing as we are striving to be well.Thank you sincerely to everyone for your experiences, your lessons, your understanding, and for just being here! Hugs... Mrs P
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RHP User
12 years ago
You are brave people to share your stories in this place, Hugs all round xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Art of Living Happy Hunting We explore the mystery and the history of this most sought-after state of mind. Plus, Augusten Burroughs on the downside of being up. FIND HAPPINESS Aristotle once wrote that “happiness is a state of activity. In other words, whether you’re seeking lifelong satisfaction or a few moments of good cheer, you’ve got to move forward. We’ve surveyed the experts and found five steps to take toward a sunny disposition: Value your relationships Over a 30-year period, University of Illinois researchers asked nearly 120,000 people how income, education, political participation, volunteer activities, and close relationships affected their happiness. Reported Newsweek ‘s Sharon Begley on the findings, “The highest levels of happiness with the most stable, longest, and most contented relationships. Express yourself Singing aloud, talking to a stranger, raising your hand: All may increase a feeling of well-being, according to a study Wake Forest University. Participants tracked their moods for two weeks and reported feeling happier when they were more outgoing and less happy when reserved or withdrawn. Spend money on others The editors of forbes.com gave $5 or $20 randomly to 46 strangers. Half the was told to spend the money on themselves, while the other half was told to spend it on others. Those who’d shared the wealth felt much happier at the end of the day than those who’d spent it on themselves. There was no difference in happiness between those who spent $5 or $20, suggesting that it’s not how much money you spend, but how you spend it, that can boost the spirit. Focus on the positive Studies the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center show that downcast people who wrote down three good things that happened to them each day for six months reported an improved outlook. Hydrate yourself Drinking water really can help keep you buoyant. A small 2012 study the University of Connecticut suggested that even slight dehydration compromised the moods of its female participants. Source: Harris Interactive A History of Happiness 350 BC: Aristotle writes that happiness is “the best, most noble, and most pleasant thing in the world. 1776: The U.S. Declaration of Independence declares that all men have a right to “the pursuit of happiness. 1799: British chemist Humphry Davy discovered the pain-relieving and giggle-inducing properties of nitrous oxide, aka “laughing gas. 1840s: William Mansel Llewelyn becomes perhaps the first person to be captured smiling in a photograph. 1900s (early): Parenting books address childhood happiness. 1920s: U.S. Navy sailors introduce the phrase happy hour for the scheduled period of entertainment and relaxation aboard the ship. 1935: Patty and Mildred Hill’s “Happy Birthday to You” is copyrighted. 1950s: Sound engineer Charley Douglass invents the laugh track to fill in audience laughter radio and television programs. 1950s: The media terms tranquilizers “happy pills. 1972: Bhutan leader Jigme Singye Wangchuck introduces “gross national happiness” as a measure for national success. 1988: Bobby McFerrin’s song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” becomes the first a cappella song to reach No. 1 on the Billboard charts. 1998: Martin Seligman, PhD, founds positive psychology, with the aim of making “normal life more fulfilling. 2010: British Prime Minister David Cameron announces the “happiness index,” an initiative to measure the well-being of the British people. 2010: Twenty-somethings rethink happiness. My vision of success is based on the impact I can have, much more than the pursuit of money or prestige,” says Matt Salzberg, Harvard Business School class of 2010. 2011: The United Nations resolves that the happiness of its member nations will play a larger role in development policy. 2012: Todd Patkin, author of Finding Happiness, writes, “Happiness is the culmination of all of the actions, choices, and habits that fill our days, as well as how we think about them. Happy Quotes “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns No one should consume happiness without producing it. -Helen Keller FORGET HAPPINESS by Augusten Burroughs from This Is How I just want to be happy. I can’t think of another phrase capable of causing more misery and permanent unhappiness. With the possible exception of “Honey, I’m in love with your youngest sister. Yet at first glance, it seems so guileless. Children just want to be happy. So do puppies. Happy seems like a healthy, normal desire. Like wanting to breathe fresh air or shop only at Whole Foods. But “I just want to be happy” is a hole cut out of the floor and covered with a rug. Because once you say it, the implication is that you’re not. The “I just want to be happy” bear trap is that until you define precisely, just exactly what “happy” is, you will never feel it. Whatever being happy means to you, it needs to be specific and also possible. When you have a blueprint for what happiness is, lay it over your life and see what you need to change so the images are more aligned. Still, this recipe of defining happiness and fiddling with your life to get it will work for some people-but not for others. I am one of the others. I am not a happy person. There are things that do make me experience joy. But joy is a fleeting emotion, like a very long sneeze. A lot of the time what I feel is interested. Or I feel melancholy. And I also frequently feel tenderness, annoyance, confusion, fear, hopelessness. It doesn’t all add up to anything I would call happiness. But what I’m thinking is, Is that so terrible? Being an unhappy person does not mean you must be sad or dark. You can be interested instead of happy. You can be fascinated instead of happy. The barrier to this, of course, is that in our super-positive society, we have an unspoken zero-tolerance policy for negativity. Beneath the catchall umbrella of negativity is basically everything that isn’t super-positive. Seriously, who among us is having a “Great! day every day? Who feels “Terrific, thanks! all the time? Anger and negativity have their uses too. Instead of trying to alleviate some of the uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions you feel by “trying to be positive,” try being negative instead. Seriously, try it sometime. This will help you get in touch with how you actually feel: “I feel hopeless and fat and stupid. And like a failure for feeling this way. And trying to be positive and upbeat makes me feel angry, and feeling angry makes me feel like I am broken. If that’s how you feel-however you feel-then you have a baseline, you have established a solid floor of reference. Sometimes just giving yourself permission to feel any emotion without judgment or censorship can lessen the intensity of those negative emotions. Almost like you’re letting them out into the backyard to run around and get rid of some of that energy. THE HAPPIEST PLACE(S) ON EARTH No, not Walt Disney World. Scandinavia! Thousands of people from many countries were asked how happy they were, based on their job, health, income, and life expectancy. Here, a list of the 11 happiest nations. Denmark Finland Norway Netherlands Canada Switzerland Sweden New Zealand Australia Ireland United States Source: Gallup $100,000+ Annual salary earned by the happiest Americans $75,000 – $99,900 Annual salary earned by the unhappiest Americans
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