F67
Desire,have you ever woken up
March 14 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Gone, for better or worse, just gone.
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wingman2014
12 years ago
Yes Once the spark is gone it is never the same :(- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
... is very close to home for me. Last December my wife (estranged) confided in me that she no longer felt the way she used to for me and that she has decided she is gay (this after being happily, or maybe not, Bi for many many years). This, unsurprisingly with 20/20 hind sight, explains why I had been feeling less loved and in love with her and had wandering thoughts of what life would be like as a single man again. We have/had been together for 12 years (2 married) and now it is over. We did the obligatory marriage counselling sessions and tried for 4 months to work things through (thinking the sexual preference may have been a reactive thing etc) but to no avail. So, in answer to the first question: The realization came in an instant (woke up one morning and wondered WTF am I doing). On reflection the events leading up to it say we should have seen it coming. Love can blind you right up until the car hits. In answer to the second question: On my side of things, after much soul searching and psych visits it is clear that I suffered with White Knight Syndrome I had forgotten to look after my own needs and felt unfulfilled. On her side of things, after much soul searching and psych visits she discovered that she is gay and she is happy with that. We will remain friends (without benefits) though it has been tough the last few weeks as she won't let anyone in the family know she is gay so I carry the weight of being the "a-hole who dumped his wife"... lucky I have broad shoulders and thick skin. My advice to anybody out there is... if you are uncertain talk about it, don't let it sneak up on you for lack of attention to the signs. Speak to your friends and seek professional help. In the long run, whilst your partners happiness is important you can't show true love and affection if you are not happy.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
I have woken up with the desire to no longer play with couples that we had been seeing for awhile. The circumstances changed n the excitement had lost its spark! It wasn't due the fact we no longer liked these ppl, just that we had moved on Great topic btw xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' ... is very close to home for me. Last December my wife (estranged) confided in me that she no longer felt the way she used to for me and that she has decided she is gay (this after being happily, or maybe not, Bi for many many years). This, unsurprisingly with 20/20 hind sight, explains why I had been feeling less loved and in love with her and had wandering thoughts of what life would be like as a single man again. We have/had been together for 12 years (2 married) and now it is over. We did the obligatory marriage counselling sessions and tried for 4 months to work things through (thinking the sexual preference may have been a reactive thing etc) but to no avail. So, in answer to the first question: The realization came in an instant (woke up one morning and wondered WTF am I doing). On reflection the events leading up to it say we should have seen it coming. Love can blind you right up until the car hits. In answer to the second question: On my side of things, after much soul searching and psych visits it is clear that I suffered with White Knight Syndrome I had forgotten to look after my own needs and felt unfulfilled. On her side of things, after much soul searching and psych visits she discovered that she is gay and she is happy with that. We will remain friends (without benefits) though it has been tough the last few weeks as she won't let anyone in the family know she is gay so I carry the weight of being the "a-hole who dumped his wife"... lucky I have broad shoulders and thick skin. My advice to anybody out there is... if you are uncertain talk about it, don't let it sneak up on you for lack of attention to the signs. Speak to your friends and seek professional help. In the long run, whilst your partners happiness is important you can't show true love and affection if you are not happy.I hope in time happiness with be yours again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It happened when my x husband refused my invitations to the bedroom no matter how convincing I tried to be. After a few months of this then finding out he was watching porn and talking to his girlfriend on the phone that was enough for me. Kinda laugh about it now though ... if he only knew what he had ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
sadly ....yes, but interestingly that wasn't the death knell.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yep... gone. Felt like waking up to realised there was suddenly water to the ceiling, but then looking back, it was clear someone left a tap running. Has anyone managed to get it back? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'good_vagabond'Gone, for better or worse, just gone. But why? Time? Does the spark have a time limit?? The number that pops to mind is a true 3 years MAX...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses'I have woken up with the desire to no longer play with couples that we had been seeing for awhile. The circumstances changed n the excitement had lost its spark! It wasn't due the fact we no longer liked these ppl, just that we had moved on Great topic btw xxx I was seeing a great couple that I loved exploring with, but one night I realised there was no longer anything there. While my experiences became wilder and more intense, they did not, so we had to go our separate ways.
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RHP User
12 years ago
brave and poignant post .However I doubt that skin is ever that thick,even though your shoulders are probably broad.A difficult situation for you to be in indeed I hope if you are in Brisbane on the 23rd,you will come to the meet and greet.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What is Desire..* Your Passion?* Your Drive?* Your Lust?* Your wish of wanting something so bad?* Sense of longing for that person or item?* The hole inside of you wanting to be filled by that other person or something?* That burning of Fire inside of us?I believe sometimes Desires become that huge inside of us that we can't take it anymore and sometimes the thrill of chasing it dies off as we no longer want what we wanted in that person or something.I think when we Desire someone and we get them, life is awesome, but because we got the chase done and got what we wanted and things become "SO CALLED NORMAL" on a level...we tend to loose our Passion - loose that Drive for what we wanted...So to answer to your question OP...I think a lot of people do wake up and look at themselves and think "I WANT MORE or I WANT LESS"...that's when some desires get lost as it get replaced by another desire. Happened to me...I woke up and no longer Desired anything in my marriage as I wanted other Desires, passions, fires outside of that..I got a whole new passion for other things as I no longer wanted a marriage, wanted that life - because I was unhappy. I suddenly got a huge Fire of Passion to replace that to be HAPPY and wanted to find out exactly what a real HAPPY loving relationship was all about.I'm slowly getting there - but the issue I have now is, if I get my desire fulfilled what will happen then - replace them with LOVE? Eeeeeek that scares the absolute flying flapping Mackrel out of me!!Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' brave and poignant post .However I doubt that skin is ever that thick,even though your shoulders are probably broad.A difficult situation for you to be in indeed I hope if you are in Brisbane on the 23rd,you will come to the meet and greet. Thank you for your very brave post.I too hope to see you at the Brisbane Beauties, Meet and Greet on the 23rd.Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
are flying fish,the sun hits their wings turning it them to silver and all the colours of the rainbow.Take that lil' boat out one day Foxy ,ya never know,one might just fly right in.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The desire was lost... Counselling to no avail... tried for years to get it back but never could...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Shinas'I hope in time happiness with be yours again. Aww... That's a nice thing to say!
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Paintme - some ppl don't realise what they have / they go in search for something when all they need is staring them in the face
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