M36 F29

Difficult Position - Possible Thrupple

May 03 2020

We are in an interesting position and would be great for some guidance. My Mrs met a new partner via work, she has been over an played several times, a true friendship is forming between us. We are have told each other we are developing real feelings. This then brings the difficult position, she live with her partner and two children to add to that her partner is emotionally abusive. Treats her like shit, she has left him several times before but as she says he is her security blanket. The feelings are pretty damn strong, both my partner and I can't get her off out minds, we have mentioned to her the thrupple idea. I get along with her kids, my partner does too. We would welcome them both as well. This potential partner, has her fone searched on a regular basis, he also causes drama if she spends to much time on her phone talking. So obviously she is one person with us, and another person when her partner is around. Even though, if we are at her house and her partner and I are busy in the garage talking cars and shit. She turns back in to the cheeky, naughty devil and hopes he doesn't catch them. He is hyper vigalent about it, will sneak through doors to go find them if they have been going for too long. When I'm speaking to her, her partner catches on to the flirtiness and stares my partner down. So it can be really awarkward. What do we do? - Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

GoodKarma

5 years ago

Hi I don't have any good advice and know nothing about how to navigate any relationships. I hope I don't cause any offence. It sounds like what you might want (a thrupple) might not be what is best for her. It sounds like she is in an emptionally abusive relationship and she is also cheating on that person. You are facilitating her cheating on her partner. I might try and see if she needs support (non-sexual non-romantic) in the first instance.

reply

like
sashnate

5 years ago

Yes, those support measures are already in place. If she or her boys ever need, we are / will provide the support they need. Our key concern is the boys have what they need. In case the partner pisses all their money up the wall. But understand where you are coming from

reply

like
FeistyFatty

5 years ago

Waiting to read the next chapter of this drama in the Courier Mail when old mate finds out and takes matters in his own hands. This sounds terrifying.

reply

like
sashnate

5 years ago

Well so far really we are all good. Mr hasn't played with her yet.

reply

like
dianet

5 years ago

That sounds really tough and perhaps no right answers. All I can say is, if you guys really care about her and want her to be happy, do want is in her best interest to facilitate and support her in leaving an abusive relationship. Put the sex / thrupple etc aside... once she is free, out of harms way, then she can decide what's next for her. when I fell into an abusive relationship with a con man from this site, what I truly appreciated is the genuine support of my other RHP friends (couples, singles)...it definitely made me closer to these amazing people, helped me fight away a monster and I will forever appreciate them!

reply

like
MsJonesy

5 years ago

Until she makes the decision to leave her partner....and from what you have said that is not likely to happen. If he is her security blanket then her needs are still being met, despite his controlling manner and emotional abuse. You & your partner are imagining a future that doesn't take into account the train wreck of a separation this woman may go through, which would only be made worse if her husband cottons on to what shenanigans you all have been indulging in. There's also potential fallout at work for them both. 😕 What do you do? End it now. Let her make the decisions she needs to make to move on with her life. You & your partner may not be anything more than a bit of fun and a means for her to gain sexual and emotional validation at the moment...there is no guarantee that anything more will occur. Too many risks, too much potential for some nasty fallout.

reply

like
mango69er

5 years ago

How do you have feelings with her, when its your partner going out on play dates with her. Sounds strange to me. You both need to end it now with this person. Your young partner is only starting off on her adult life. Why mess it up with all the drama that will come from this. And are those feelings you have for this woman in your cock or in your heart

reply

like
sashnate

5 years ago

@dianet Thanks yea that's what we are trying to do. The shit c#nt can't even put food on the table sometimes because he pisses it up the wall. So we make a conscious decision to make sure the kids won't go without. But that's challenging too, even if you just take the kids a bag of of lollies, he doesn't like that.

reply

like
The_Antichrist

5 years ago

I can’t even follow the first paragraph....it seems that your missus met a new partner and suddenly you and your missus are finally friends and are having romantic real feelings for each other....

reply

like
sashnate

5 years ago

@Mango Shows how shallow you are to state you need to get your dick wet for feelings to develop. Most of the play dates have been at our house, and out of respect for the situation, their rule is same sex isn't cheating that's why I haven't partaken yet.

reply

like
MsSuperFoxy

5 years ago

Sounds very messy, complicated with bounderies clearly being crossed/not respected, especially with the children and the other relationship, as they are not your responsibility. It's time to step up, step away and get some clarity. Not a situation I would get myself into. I'll leave this one for you to sort or OP. Ms Foxy 🙈

reply

like
DonnaBrett

5 years ago

Totally agree with FatFunFiesty.....unfortunately this situation dealing with her abusive partner could go south very fast for all of you.

reply

like
EarthQueen

5 years ago

She needs to get support From a Domestic violence service if possible. They will help her with her options . It's a dangerous process to leave and she needs professional support if she can get it. Especially if there are children involved.

reply

like
ReyandJean

5 years ago

The poly people are more likely to provide input based on experience. Try one of those groups.

reply

like
2EssesExploring

5 years ago

Sounds like this woman is in need of some really caring, genuine friends with no other agendas on their mind. Yes playing around and the idea of a thrupple can be a nice diversion from her woes and you two are getting excited by the idea but in this situation it is highly unlikely to end well and could end up in all manner of hurt and danger for you all. If you have genuine, non sexual feelings for her then step away from the sex side and be genuine friends for her, if she says she wants more say you can explore that if and when she is ever truly single, otherwise you are not in a thrupple but are cheating with another mans wife/partner. I’m sure there are many poly relationships that work well but I’d guess that they would work better coming from a place of mutual strengths than uneven weaknesses. Of course ymmv but I can only answer generally from the information put forward.

reply

like
86Jasindy

5 years ago

Quoting '2EssesExploringIf you have genuine, non sexual feelings for her then step away from the sex side and be genuine friends for her, if she says she wants more say you can explore that if and when she is ever truly single, otherwise you are not in a thrupple but are cheating with another mans wife/partner. .Very wise words there. Even if she is giving you an indication she wants more, now is not the right time to pursue this.

reply

like
wantyou_25

5 years ago

@the_Antichrist Glad I wasn’t the only one totally confused and had to read the opening twice over!!! ............................... Also speaking from experience and not saying this is the case, I know someone who carries on about her terrible abusive husband that doesn’t provide and that is not the case. He actually is the one in a bad situation. She wants attention and money from others who feel sorry for her. She too is in a marriage and won’t be leaving him but happy to play victim for other gains.

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

When she is caught, do you expect her to portray you as the good guys and use you guys as a scapegoat to keep her marriage together? Do you think she would like to explain this situation to her family and Friends? Her marriage failed because she was cheating on her husband in a thrupple? Or even in the family court as she fights to keep custody of the kids? Hard situation but when he finds out, the first thing you guys will become is the enemy. Do you want him as an enemy?

reply

like

Difficult Position - Possible Thrupple

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help