F48
Disappointment at first meeting
January 16 2013
Comments
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wingman2014
12 years ago
When you make first contact and you feel that immediate connection it sets your heart racing . It all sounds too good to be true . But when you meet and things just don't fall into place for a variety of different reasons it can be a real let down. But don't be too hasty to to do a runner. If you felt that spark in the beginning you felt it for a reason. Hang in there and try again or you may well be walking away from something potentially awesome .thats been my experience so far - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Agree before meeting that if you're not feeling it when you meet you'll both be up front and say so. Works a treat for me :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I always make it clear that the first meeting is just to meet! I struggle though with rejecting someone, I don't want to hurt feelings...so sometimes evade...trying to be upfront lately and just say that I don't think the chemistry is there. Difficult! To photos... Yes! Some have old, out of date photos. Baaaddd! False advertising methinks! And ... Why? I do want to say wow, you've put on 20kg since that photo, but don't!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have so been there , and had no idea how to back out so went ahead with the meeting ( twice this happened!) I saw lots of pics prior to the meet, exchanged tons of messages, felt we were both well informed and connected - then he walks in .........first one lied about his height !! Like I wouldn't notice that ???? ..........And the second one , there was just nothing .....no chemistry no buzz no pulsing pussy- nada!...................... I have NO idea how to say errr no thanks once the interaction had gone that far - I feel like I'd be the world biggest cock tease to them , but should I care ? ..................I'd love to hear a guys perspective on this ????
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RHP User
12 years ago
And I've come to the conclusion that no matter how nice you are about things, it's not how or what you say...their egos are more important....but here's a tip...they get over it soon enough. I also think, that dating and the like are much like buying a new car....why would you buy just anything, when you can have what you want, by going to another car yard???
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RHP User
12 years ago
And no, I don't think not finding someone physically attractive is superficial.But I think you hit the nail on the head with your line "I'm just not feeling it"That would actually be the line I use..People need to learn that if someone does not find them attractive. It's not a reflection of them, just the other persons taste. Well... baring terrible hygiene and presentation ~laughs~Though if it's the fact that their picture does not match up to reality. Maybe it's not their looks, but a sense of mild deceit that you find unappealing?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't get too raunchy before meeting. I try and avoid others being disappointed with me by having very ordinary profile pics, I've often been told I look much better than my pics. It doesn't help I am probably the least photogenic person I know.Oh, and I don't meet for shagging straight up. Time-limited first meet, so there are no expectations. It seems though when I've had no interest, they've had no interest because we've both walked away without making contact. Haha.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just tell the truth, say goodbye and good luck. If it does not click in the first few minutes why think that there is something owed. But then it surprises me how looks are such a priority to so many women. I am so lucky to be an ugly mother fucker, saves me from the superficial. Mind first always.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Haha!! Nice one ghostbuster!! Theres plenty of other car yards..... I just dont enjoy upsetting anyone. Unless they are totally up themselves and need a good hard reality check!! I actually recently got flown interstate to spend a few days with someone i had been communicating with extensivelyfor 6 weeks. As soon as i saw him at the airport it was like okay thats why u didnt want to send me any more photos!! Very awkward....but at least we are now really good friends :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
always meet for a drink or coffee first,''meet first,play later''...and just say, if it is clear that he is just not floating your little boat''It was nice to meet you ,but now I must go''.....sometimes there might be a bit of physical attraction but if the person is on a different planet that soon becomes apparent in a relatively short peroid of time and it is a big turn off for me. As women we have been socialized to be nice and not hurt someones feelings but why would you want to share your body with someone that there is no connection with
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Yes have been through this a few times. The txt and messaging and flirty fun-filled conversations only to find when face to face IT isn't there. I like to meet in public places initially for this very reason and usually joke sbout arriving and that person not feeling bad if I happen to see them running gor the exit! This usually breaks the ice and leeps the moment light, I also say prior to meetingno expectations. If it's not there lets enjoy a laugh and a drink and go purmerry way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The man usually asks if there's a spark there or when asked if the interest is there I answer honestly. Keep it light, most guys would prefer an honest answer instead of being strung along then "blocked". I treat them the same way I like to be treated, kindly and with respect. Brings to mind a Dixie Chix song "I Can Tell There's Something You Don't Wanna Tell Me It's Killing You 'Cause The Words Are Hard To Find I Know You Want To Break It To Me Gently Well Sweet Baby Say What's On Your Mind Let 'Er Rip, Let It Fly Come On Baby, Say It, Do You Think I'm Gonna Cry I Ain't About To Bawl, And I Ain't Gonna Die So If You're Gonna Say Goodbye, Don't Take All Day And Night Let 'Er Rip, Let It Fly Why The Drama, We Don't Have To Drag Out This Situation It Wasn't You, It Wasn't Me, Sometimes The Chemistry Don't Ignite There Ain't No Rings, No Mortgage, There Ain't Any Complications It's Just A Hyphenated Word, Get It Out, I'm Sure I'll Be Alright It Ain't No Big Deal, It Ain't No Great Loss You And I Are On The Same Train Of Thought So You Don't Have To Tell Me Where To Get Off Maybe I Misunderstood You, If You're Leaving, Baby Would You So If You're Gonna Say Goodbye, Don't Take All Day And Night Let 'Er Rip, Let It Fly
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RHP User
12 years ago
Meet first for coffee/ drinks somewhere neutral so if they've mislead you, you can back out more easily. Coffee/drinks out give you the opportunity to chat and see if a connection is actually there or not. You could always friendzone them at the end of the night if it's clearly not going to go anywhere. When I was doing the dating game, I could tell after about an hour if it was going to lead anywhere fun. If I wasn't feeling it I'd say something like "It was very nice to meet you, although I don't really feel a spark, I think you'd make a good friend." If they didn't take the hint, then "you remind me of my brother" seems to scare them off.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...at one of those delightful sidewalk bistros and order your coffee in a take-away cup. Send a text message to yourself first so you can 'check it' for a sudden emergency...we all have numerous spare relatives that we don't particularly like but will leave to help the family.Actually, it's much more polite just to carry a couple of those eco-friendly green shopping bags from Safeway with a couple of holes already cut in them for your eyes...the carry straps are actually big enough to fit nicely once you get your arms through them. Then, just do it for the sake of the environment and take away as much of the experience as you can that has somehow in a strange way added a bit of value to everyone's life. Safe sex with an alien never really has killed anyone yet, if it had...you would have read about it on the internet.Also be sure to spend time talking to the person on the phone...if you can't carry on a good conversation for an hour or so before you meet, why even bother.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If I dont feel a connection within the first 10 -15 minutes, I know its not going anywhere and accept it. However' I would never be rude and just leave' I roll with the flow and ride out all the niceties till such time' its time to leave.. By then you both know... Besides' apart from no connection, they may be a nice person to enjoy a drink with... so not wasted time after all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Okay there is a easy solution here fellow RHP ers.Ever heard of honest and open communication.Discuss prior to the greet that if you decided that your not interested that you wont waste there time and you will let them know.Also I think what wingman2013 said to be true also. Sometimes a coffee is not long enough. After a couple of hours just talking you can and your date become more relaxed and have time to get to know each other better.In my recent experience a date I had was a little slow to start as he was a little shy. However I was really interested in the company that evening. Well let me say it ended being the most wonderful long night and morning of awesome sex. Also looking forward to having more meets with this lovely man in the future.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm very very particular about what I want in advance so haven't had too many awkward moments and most of the time I don't even bother with meet and greet. However, on the occasions that I have (if I haven't been 100% sure) I make it perfectly obvious beforehand that this is just a meet and we'll see what happens from there. When I get there and I'm not feeling the spark, I simply say I am meeting friends for drinks in two hours. And because I don't like to lie (not even little white ones) , I will then drive straight to my girlfriend's house and tell her all about my terrible date over a glass of wine :)The last time this happened was about a month ago....as it turned out the guy lied about everything in his profile, his pics were at least 8 years old (i.e. he had hair in his profile pic and was missing half of it when we met!) and the final straw was when he stuck his hand down the front of my top in a very nice bar in the city.....having extracted his hand, I pulled out my phone, looked at the time and said 'sorry, I'm meeting my friend for drinks shortly. It was nice meeting you'. (OK that bit was a lie because secretly I was thinking "fuckhead").When I went back online the next day, I noticed he had blocked me so I think he got the point :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
If I am not feeling it I am always polite and either say via face-face or text"Thanks but no thanks - best of Luck"If they are a nice person I will maintain contact just as friends..and I've got lots of "friends" from this way. When I say friends that's just it FRIENDS..HOWEVER lately I having the complete opposite... I've been in the situation a couple of times where I've been messaging/texting/talking to RHP members that i have felt a nice enough connection with to organise a meeting/datelately it's been the DISAPPEARING ACT and don't even make it to the first meet and greet when organise a meet/date when I have felt comfortable to meet.... all contact just gone/ceased. :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Grrl'having very ordinary profile pics You say that with a straight face, when your profile cleava... profile picture is right there next to it? :PFrom my perspective, the 'ideal' rejection would be something like... she (or they ;)) reach across the coffee shop table, put a handle gently on top of mine, look me straight in the eye and say something like "you're a nice guy, and thank you for taking the time out, but I know this isn't going to work out like we imagined, see you". Or, "I'm not feeling it".Honesty, compassion, confidence and clarity are highly desirable. Don't leave the door open if you don't mean it, even if you think you're being kind.Others might disagree.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Going in with no expectations is the by far the best philospohy to adopt, then if the spark/chemistry/connection is there, it's a fabulous surprise and opportunity for organising a second meet where almost anything's possible - I will admit to having recently invited a potential lover home on the first meet, but at least one of our heads was cooler... although we did have trouble keeping our hands off each other after a while; very nice to anticipate the next interlude... Sorry, what were we discussing...? (shakes head to clear lurid thoughts) oh, yeah, OK, on topic - honesty is always best, if "it" isn't there once you set eyes on each other, and remembering it will pretty much always be awkward for the first few minutes, I don't believe there's anything at all wrong with saying that it's just not working face to face, if the other party is in the slightest bit intuitive, they'll already have picked up on it. A simple "look, I'm just not feeling the connection we had earlier, maybe it's me tonight, but I'd like some time to reflect on meeting you before I make a decision on how far we could take this" might be the easy way out.. One codicil however, your instincts will guide as to when and how best to deliver the news, I'm yet to meet anyone who will react poorly in a public setting - although am willing to be surprised...
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67'Just tell the truth, say goodbye and good luck. If it does not click in the first few minutes why think that there is something owed. But then it surprises me how looks are such a priority to so many women. I am so lucky to be an ugly mother fucker, saves me from the superficial. Mind first always. (sigh) I'm no stunner and don't expect my friends to be either. I don't give a fuck about your face Blindman (unless I'm straddling it ) it's the tuffy sticker grafitti on your back.....it'd look nice on a rail carriage though . I want mine covered, if there's a great tattooist here please say "hello" I have a design just needs fine tuning.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Awesome71'>>> snipTo photos... Yes! Some have old, out of date photos. Baaaddd! False advertising methinks! And ... Why? I do want to say wow, you've put on 20kg since that photo, but don't! Sometimes I think people believe that photos are like a nostalgic exercise, or maybe an exercise in positive thinking - you know, you see the time stamp on the photo and it's SEVEN YEAR'S AGO. "Here's what a I used to look like" - or, "Here's what I'm hoping to get back to looking like one day!"As for avoiding disappointment ... talk, talk, talk to see if that connection is there. And even then, after that, keep your expectations low, remember life will go on (ok, maybe not for you if you are outright rejected ... ) This is a virtual world, we are all operating at a different level through this thing. I've taken the option with some people to not meet them, as I (well, we) probably felt that it would kill the great rapport (including sexual tension) we've built over the wires. Yes, maybe I miss out on great some nooky, but there's something else, very real, very sustained that i have enjoyed with those relationships.Oh, and of course I am also hideous and would frighten them away. Forgot that bit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari'(sigh) I'm no stunner and don't expect my friends to be either. I don't give a fuck about your face Blindman (unless I'm straddling it ) it's the tuffy sticker grafitti on your back.....it'd look nice on a rail carriage though . I want mine covered, if there's a great tattooist here please say "hello" I have a design just needs fine tuning. Beauty and sexy are two different things. I don't have rule to what is drawn on me, but I liked the photos. Thanks I think, and happy to be straddled, can always keep a good man down. Well till its time to breath again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Firstly I am glad we haven't met as I would not like to think someone would find ne attractive or have some chemistry. Secondly, upfront is the best policy, tell them bluntly in advance of meeting that it's just a "meet n greet" and if you like what you see, hear then all well and good you will be sure to let them know, if not, it's your decision (quite like it is also their decision too) to politely say thanks, but no thanks and be clear upfront that you don't want any knickers / panties / boxers / y fronts (who is to blame for inventing them ?) / commandos etc getting bent out of shape as it is a simple thing and nothing personal. Happy hunting
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RHP User
12 years ago
You message maybe two or three times NO sexy talk, just normal when where etc. They ring, no texting or sex texting at all You meet in a public place for coffee or a drink..no meals Warn them your candid and will say no thanks in the first five minutes That’s all it takes five minutes and you know and Two weeks at the max from start to finish, unless they are fifo and give them a month, but no text crap in between There are too many men to waste time on the cock tease etc. , if you build them up then its worse for them and for you I learnt that the hard way when I first started on here Never made that mistake again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The first time I broke my meet first policy pleasantly surprised me. Had I had coffee with him, I never would have slept with him. He was the best sex ever. now I try to judge less on appearance. There was no overt attraction or chemistry outside the bedroom but clothes off, we fucked like nothing else in the world mattered. Sucks he went and got a girlfriend, I miss that sex.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
So by you not "upsetting anyone" you settle for someone less than you desire/deserve?? Interesting....
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xFunlovingx
12 years ago
How do you tell someone that you aren't interested in going further? As much as what people in here say be honest...I don't agree with this as you are hurting someone's feelings and you also don't know where this persons mental state of mind is! They could end up going psycho on you or they could end up self harming! Saying something to someone's face has 100 times more the effect of saying it in a text (I am only talking about knocking someone back here...not jobs/relationships..etc)! I refuse to hurt someone by looking them in the eye and telling them "you are not good enough"....I would rather say nothing at all and hope they will disappear or if not I will turn it into my problem and not theirs! If it is a sexual meet...then unfortunately I am like Mrs Delish...I find it hard to back out as I don't want to be labelled a cock tease either! Coffee meet or sexual meet it is up to you...How to tell them...Sorry I may not have helped...but want you to know you are not alone in not wanting to hurt people! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seems we allhave a similar story and for the men it is the same as the ladies, behind a computer screen you can be whatever that other person wants you to be, however, many peopletoday don't hjave the confidence in social skills to communicate face to face and be totally honest with who they, I have found it best to be upfront and say, thanks but it's not going past this meeting.maybe harsh, however, eliminates any grey areas. I would certainly like to meet more women who have the courage to meet in person as well, would appear some are on these sites after a bad relationship bust up and are seeking attention (but that's another topic all together).
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mesolongi' Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Grrl'having very ordinary profile pics You say that with a straight face, when your profile cleava... profile picture is right there next to it? :P I am more than my cleavage!! Hahaha Or maybe not.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Quoting 'On_Safari'(sigh) I'm no stunner and don't expect my friends to be either. I don't give a fuck about your face Blindman (unless I'm straddling it ) it's the tuffy sticker grafitti on your back.....it'd look nice on a rail carriage though . I want mine covered, if there's a great tattooist here please say "hello" I have a design just needs fine tuning. Beauty and sexy are two different things. I don't have rule to what is drawn on me, but I liked the photos. Thanks I think, and happy to be straddled, can always keep a good man down. Well till its time to breath again. And you can't keep a good woman down either unless it's worth staying down for!! But I am kinda clumsy..... Reooowww
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RHP User
12 years ago
No one should feel guilt if they are honest with someone.Tell it how it is."I am not feeling a connection ,and that is what i seek,hope you can understand"Cheers
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' How do you tell someone that you aren't interested in going further? As much as what people in here say be honest...I don't agree with this as you are hurting someone's feelings and you also don't know where this persons mental state of mind is! They could end up going psycho on you or they could end up self harming! Saying something to someone's face has 100 times more the effect of saying it in a text (I am only talking about knocking someone back here...not jobs/relationships..etc)! I refuse to hurt someone by looking them in the eye and telling them "you are not good enough"....I would rather say nothing at all and hope they will disappear or if not I will turn it into my problem and not theirs! If it is a sexual meet...then unfortunately I am like Mrs Delish...I find it hard to back out as I don't want to be labelled a cock tease either! Coffee meet or sexual meet it is up to you...How to tell them...Sorry I may not have helped...but want you to know you are not alone in not wanting to hurt people! xFunlovingx That's a really interesting perspective, and really valuable to me, as I tend to presume folk will react as I would (despite knowing its not true).I'd argue the point with you (that you should put 'you' first), but that isn't conducive to further sharing, I guess. I would be surprised (and I often am) if most people were so fragile as not to take a direct answer better than just no knowing. But text/email does make sense in the context of *this* forum/format for meeting people.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Just tell the truth, say goodbye and good luck. If it does not click in the first few minutes why think that there is something owed. But then it surprises me how looks are such a priority to so many women. I am so lucky to be an ugly mother fucker, saves me from the superficial. Mind first always. And of course the way women look is not a priority for a lot of men when it comes to sex? Are women not allowed to exercise those same choices when it comes to deciding who they sleep with? Why should I get down and dirty with someone I don't find attractive just so I can (hypocritically) say that I'm morally superior to all those other poor, superficial fools. The whole notion that people are 'superficial' if they have any sort of preference in terms of a potential sexual partner's looks, really shits me. The fact is that there would be very few people who could honestly say that they don't care at all about appearances, or don't have any particular preferences in that respect. After all, when it comes down to it, we are just another animal species and selection of sexual partners based on appearances has been part of animal behaviour and genetic selection for millions of years. If *all* someone cares about is looks then maybe there's a basis for the label, but even here I'm talking more about a relationship type situation. Plenty of people - myself included - have had sex with someone purely because of a physical attraction to the way the other person looks, and nothing else, but it doesn't mean we can be judged by others as being superficial or shallow in general. It's when looking for something more long term with another person that people really tend to look further for the other qualities that they would like in a person, be it intelligence, creativity, kindness, spontaneity, etc., and physical attraction becomes just one part of a whole package. So to the OP - I don't think you sound superficial at all.....a superficial person wouldn't care about trying to let someone down easy without hurting their feelings. And Mesolongi's advice sounds pretty good to me in that regard.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You don't necessarily say "you're not good enough." Simply by saying sorry I don't feel the chemistry I'd hoped for is saying it nicely....you can't control how people will react to it. Their subsequent feelings of inadequacy are theirs not yours....there's a motto I stand true to..."hurt me with truth, but never comfort me with a lie!!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23'And of course the way women look is not a priority for a lot of men when it comes to sex? Are women not allowed to exercise those same choices when it comes to deciding who they sleep with? Why should I get down and dirty with someone I don't find attractive just so I can (hypocritically) say that I'm morally superior to all those other poor, superficial fools. The whole notion that people are 'superficial' if they have any sort of preference in terms of a potential sexual partner's looks, really shits me. The fact is that there would be very few people who could honestly say that they don't care at all about appearances, or don't have any particular preferences in that respect. After all, when it comes down to it, we are just another animal species and selection of sexual partners based on appearances has been part of animal behaviour and genetic selection for millions of years. If *all* someone cares about is looks then maybe there's a basis for the label, but even here I'm talking more about a relationship type situation. Plenty of people - myself included - have had sex with someone purely because of a physical attraction to the way the other person looks, and nothing else, but it doesn't mean we can be judged by others as being superficial or shallow in general. It's when looking for something more long term with another person that people really tend to look further for the other qualities that they would like in a person, be it intelligence, creativity, kindness, spontaneity, etc., and physical attraction becomes just one part of a whole package. So to the OP - I don't think you sound superficial at all.....a superficial person wouldn't care about trying to let someone down easy without hurting their feelings. And Mesolongi's advice sounds pretty good to me in that regard. People can dp what ever they want. I really do not care if you find sex with attractive people the best. I look from the outside in and seek to find beauty. If I find none then most likely would not be there in the first place. Good sex comes from good minds and women who cant see past the skin miss out. Op introduced the word and there was reasoning enough behind her motivation to add that word. Its meaning is not ambiguous "Skin deep" and personally that is shallow. I am glad I am not like that as I have fantastic (mind blowing awesome) sex with people that on the surface do not meet the culturally determined beauty quota.We are but animals but we are not here to propagate we are here to have fun. We are above animals because we reason and function inside culture. And today's culture is corrupted by the mass media. Thus you saying letting some one down easy via a lie is better then the truth. LOL gosh silly me to think that would be superficial.
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RHP User
12 years ago
... to remind myself not to "fall' for a pic or profile. I only had to do that the once (many, many moons ago!), to learn that a pic and profile don't make a person. You just don't know until you meet. I have experienced the reverse. A fellow I met online showed no interest in me until we met in person. I think generally people will respect your decision not to take things further as long as you are polite and let them down gently. KK xx
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Rainmaker007
12 years ago
Thanks for raising this topic. I would like to assure you that even us men find ourselves in these tricky situations too.Personally i feel bad if the person is real but there just is no connection,its always difficult to break it to them. Like most people mentioned earlier,a no strings attached first meet in a public place is always best,coffee or drink. It also helps to let the person know that you have other plans after so that there are no expectations. If there is a connection you can always 'change' your plans for them,i don't think they will object!But,if someone uses fake pics or from when they were 50kgs lighter or from 20 years ago i think its disrespectful and dishonest,you should show them how to be respectful and honest.
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RHP User
12 years ago
69 Quoting 'Ghostbusters'....there's a motto I stand true to..."hurt me with truth, but never comfort me with a lie!!" My favourite is similar I love you, and because I love you, I would rather have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. - Pietro Aretino. Honesty and communication we all agree is the answer, but as tantriclove69 asks, what do you do when you feel pressured or on the spot. It can get pretty awkward. I think our posh quotes are directed more to romance (well mine is anyway) but how do you let someone down nicely on a 'hook up' meet & greet. And the looks issue goes both ways. I need the initial physical attraction, I admit, but once my brain is engaged, phwtttt, you could be horrifically deformed and I wouldn't care.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll stand true to my motto....I would much rather say "You look somewhat different to what your photos had initially suggested, and while I'm happy to hang out and have some fun, but I don't see things going further with us physically....I will understand if you wish for me to leave, but that's your call."
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thankyou funloving for acknowledging how hard it is to hurt someone's feelings. I have had someone storm off on me in public because of my lack of interest. When i contacted that person after they were actually really hurting a lot. So yes, you never know how someone else is feeling. Ive never been on the receiving end of rejection or lack of interest after meeting but i imagine it wouldnt make me feel fantastic. Physical attraction is awesome but i also need to feel internally connected....im not going to shag a hot guy who is a total arsehole. Sometimes being physically attractive can be a bit of a curse cos men have often confessed to me later on they felt too intimated to approach me.....plus i sometimes dont feel like others bother thinking about who i am on the inside. Ive gone off on a bit of a tangent.....i have a tendency to do that!!! :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well I use the Polar Bear Exit! It's something I came up withBoth Parties need to be aware of this to work!Basicly when you meet somone for the first time and either person is not feeling the love(so to speak) Person A points behind person B ans says look a "POLAR BEAR" at this stage person B is then obligated to turn and face that direction for sufficent time for person A to disapear and nothing more is need to be said as both parties know where they stand.Or the other way is to be open an honest with that person that seems to work as well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What you express it is a common problem. That I avoided quite well till so far.I refuse to meet with people that I have not seen a clear picture of themselves.But while I don't put emphasis on looks, since I have rejected guys with a great body and model like. I like to put importance in the personality. A sexy, caring, passionate personality. I strongly believe that self steam and honesty play an important role while searching for a partner whether its a one night stand, casual or permanent partner. Pictures, can tell you how sexy the guy is, but also if they are current, if they are cool, if they worldly, if they are socially adjusted, if they are honest. At least that is what I am looking for. Sorry if I sound naive, but I think that you could look. To me a body without a face, has no meaning at all. When talking, i am just honest and ask about what we have in common even if we are never gonna share any of that. The tone of the voice and speech tells you if they are at the same level. Finally, speaking is when I get the final picture of what the guy is about. If you speak honest from the beginning and do not engage on a sexual conversation before having these factors checked out. And if you still feel attracted to this guy. Then you can arrange a meeting. I am pretty fast to determined these things and ensure that the guys is a safe guy too. But I am looking for something more meaningful. So, it is more difficult for me to find a match. In your case, you should be more successful. There are some guys that are decent and honest and very sexy good looking too and they are looking for fun only. I have noticed them. The trick is to screen them out before you meet. If after all that, you still meet him and don't like him. Then, I think that the kindest thing to do is just be honest and tell them straight forward, if they have self steam they should be able to take it. If they end up stalking you, well that is wPost your Commenthy it is so important to pick personality before hand. You don't really want to go for a perv or psycho type disregarding money or looks.So far, I get the personality right and the guy is hot, nice, balanced and gorgeous too. It has worked for me in that area. Good luckLolita
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a single woman here looking for girls, I have a rule with no exceptions. I learned this very early on after a meet and greet and the guy looked nothing like his profile picture.I always have the person im going to meet send me a picture, they have to show their face, with their shirt off. Girls can always wear a bra or bikini top. And they must be holding a piece of paper with my user name written on it. This gives me a very recent pic of them and their body. I make no exceptions to this.What it also does it weeds out all the fakes on this site. Youll be amazed how many excuses I have heard
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RHP User
12 years ago
U can usually tell if they are or not. I am not o everyones taste but am for others. I simply ask them you in or out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Luckily, I haven't had to say "no thank you" yet....BUT, I've been unpleasantly surprised by a couple of guys who subscribed to the "maybe if I don't mention it, it won't be" theory, or the "but this is me, accept me as I am" ideal - one who forgot to tell me he only had a couple of teeth (the rotten, brown, stumpy tooth-loss picture....his pics all were closed-mouth smiles.....), and one who said he was 6', but who's head I could clearly see the top of in my bare feet..... It wasn't so much the gummy or the short-arse (my profile is pretty clear about my height preferences), it was the not-telling, or at very worst, the not caring or expecting that I'd notice..... I just did the fade-out, couldn't be bothered to say 'no thanks'!
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GezWouldGo
12 years ago
You could always go with the prearranged call, say fifteen, twenty or whatever minutes in. How you answer it is up to you.Either the "Hey how you doing, yeah we'll catch up soon"Or the "Oh my god! What happened, is she alright!!"Get out and worry about the rest later ....
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have had 2 coffee meets over the last 2 days both of which just did nothing for me. I always state there are no expectations. After telling both these guys that there was just no connection or attraction for me I amnow being bombarded with online and text messages wanting to know why I wasn't attracted to them and what they could do to improve their chances with me. I have been called shallow. They arn't handliing the rejection very well at all. I myself have been rejected just recently after chatting and talkiing to a guy on the phone and seeming to get along really well. I realised I hadn't shown him a face pic and after doing so received a message saying "Hi, I don't want to meet anymore, sorry" Fair enough, I'm not going to appeal to everyone-so move on. Profile pics ----- I personaly feel myp rofile pics can be a bit deceiving (they are about 6 months old) BUT i have given a very blunt and honest description of myself in my profile. I give access to my face pic after a few messages back and forth If contact continues all well and good, if not, move on
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RHP User
12 years ago
yes I've had the one who could not take no for an answer , ended up with the Police involved - what a mess , the other one I hate is where you see the profile picture and find out its maybe ten years old and when you meet the guy in the flesh he is obese , I am not into overweight men . I'm just very careful these days
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are the key issues in my understanding...Without expectations on ether side there is no reason to get upset....There need to be honesty toward the other......but more important towards yourself.And straight ( does not mean hard or heartless) communication is essential before and during the first meeting.It is in my experience that you can say anything to just about anyone.....it is all in how you express yourself.If you hold the other person with regard, care and compassion they will get what you have to say without being offended.....ultimately you can only do your best and it is not your responsibility how people react....it is their journey .By the way ....love your main image TantricLove....beautiful classy and very sensual
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't get any suprises as I like to skype potential playmates. Great way to meet and greet without leaving the comfort of your own home. You get to see what they look like today, know whether or not your conversation flows. Especially handy for me as I don't live in a capital city, I'm not going to travel, or expect someone else to, without knowing you could at least get along without play.
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abcplus1
12 years ago
For us a first meet has always been for a meal in a nice public place. We always look at it that if we don't hit it off we can still enjoy the meal, while learning about the person. Not everyone is going to match on a level that leads beyong the first meting, that's human nature, but everyone enjoys good food and company.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I say go for brutal honesty, it may be harsh but in the end nothing good will come from dragging it out, and the conversation will be awkward. The other reality is that if there is a picture exchange, and when you meet he/she looks 10 years older or nothing like the photos then they are just liars, and the relationship/sex thing isn't going to work anyway. One other thing to keep in mind here is why you are on this website in the first place, be it sex, friendship, life partnerships etc, if it is the first then you need some attraction whether it is personality or looks doesn't really matter and you will know within minutes. A great topic
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is also worth stating that every person is attractive in some way, if an individual feels themselves to be attractive then it is more likely that others will also see this. If a person is posting false or misleading pictures then it is probably because they are insecure or have a lack of understanding as to their true self worth. I am who I am, what is the point in trying to hide behind a photo that shows me as a buff 20 year old, who is silly enough to believe that and as soon as your prospective partner turns up it becomes obvious that both of your times have been wasted. Maybe with copious amounts of alcohol (haha) I could pull it off but otherwise I'm a 42 year old male in reasonable condition with a strong personality. I have a photo of my hand showing....hands are very good
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just be honest with him or her and tell them clear as day then no one has any queries about where it's going maybe give them some constructive advice about where they went wrong be it their profile or picks I've found picks and profiles tend to give you a bad impression theirs no need to lie good luck all - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I posted a thread a while back asking how many people had gone as far as having sex with someone simply because they were there and the feedback indicated that a fair few had. The question was brought about because someone I knew was traveling a long way to meet someone and I asked what she would do if there was no attraction and she'd pondered on it and decided she'd do it anyway, however when she met him he looked like Ronald McDonald from all accounts and she couldn't bring herself to do it.I think webcam or skype chats are the way to go if you're looking on taking things further, you can have fun, see if you bounce off each other and get a feel for the person without having to commit to anything more than a conversation. Until you've had a real time conversation through msn or another medium you aren't going to get a genuine idea of what the person you are talking to is like in real life, constructed responses don't let the other person see your sense of humour or personality. As for the attraction side of things, well, you can look like a supermodel but if you habitually use they're, their and there incorrectly or even worse revert to text talk then I'm likely to lose interest, I need to know people have something going on upstairs before I consider taking things further. I wouldn't be attracted to a smoker or a problem drinker, perhaps even someone who was seriously unfit, I like a nice smile too, I'd rather spend time with an ordinary looking person who smiles all the time than a stony faced beauty, the allure of Mona Lisa is her subtle grin ;-). If I wasn't attracted to someone when I met them, well I would let them know as a courtesy that I wasn't feeling it, having said that a commitment to only have coffees first time out would be an easy way to ensure no awkward moments?.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
I couldn't agree more!!! Yes I was on the receiving end once and actually thought "that's fair enough." The individual is responsible for thier own reaction and you may be the "rejectee" today but tomorrow you might be the "rejector" or better yet find that mutually beneficial sexy seductive and wonderful friend. Meh, it's all good because it's all a growth opportunity. My mum always said honesty is the best policy. Maybe carrying a box of kleenex to a meet n greet could help to, who knows....lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
This will be a massive post but i'll do it anyway. This topic is the same for everyone which stems into other associated topics. Hardly ever in my life have I taken the male side or stuck up for males with this topic probably being the only one. I think society (namely women) have conveniently turned this looks and shallow issue into a false stigma. This false belief that men are these shallow physical creatures where substance doesn't matter. This is completely wrong and i'll explain why the stigma should be the other way around. Point number one - Take a look at the way females and males live. Every single aspect of womens life (not just sexual) is based on the exterior looks and presentation. For example shoes, makeup, clothes, holiday destinations, what the new kitchen will look like, even cars, gardens and most things. Then take a look at mens approach on looks....slap on ordinary clothes, near enough is good enough, if its not quite right no problems, talk about sport, building things, fishing, having to pay bills etc....guys don't live each day thinking about or being judgemental on looks be it on women or most other things. Point number two - What do women do and want to do nearly every single day....talk to girlfriends about the size of guys cocks and how hot looking (or not hot looking) certain guys are. Just speaking from my own experience of witnessing this the things that are said are so degrading that unless you look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt a male would be lucky to have just 20 percent confidence in himself. Now look at how and what guys talk about....sport, fitness, jokes, fishing, cars, building things and general things. Guys don't talk like "oh my gosh her makeup was horrid" lol....guys have never talked like that and are not superficial or shallow. Point number three - take this site which is a sex site. What is the one thing you know for sure is going to happen.....95% of guys would sleep with nearly anyone. That is another stigma placed on men that they would sleep with nearly anyone...and its 100% true. Isn't that at least being honest and at the same time demonstrates that looks don't matter nearly as much as society thinks it does and is the complete roll reversal of women. The only guys women will sleep with are the 5% genetically attractive guys. So 100% of women on this site are all chasing the 5% of hot guys...which perfectly demonstrates that its women that place looks as the main factor (if not the only factor). This has been easily witnessed on this site with model like guys being swamped with 150 friends request in the first 24 hours of being on here. Above all of that the dissapointing aspect of this is that women seem to judge intelligence, honesty, decency and a guys personality on his looks. So if a guy looks hot he is automatically all of the things i just mentioned and its everywhere in life not just a sex website. In relation to the topic this is the reason why i've stressed thousand of times only do basic ordinary photos in normal light wearing ordinary clothes. Everyone knows the only reason most meet for coffee etc is to physically judge the other person. Like i just mentioned most guys would sleep with 95% of women so for males the coffee meeting isn't about looks and its basically a waste of time. For females its different....the attractive 5% of guys are automatically in for coffee and wham bam...the other small percentage of guys get a coffee by luck. One thing most guys know for sure...if a woman isn't attracted to him in the first one second of meeting she automatically turns off and just wants to leave...and thats even before she gets to know his wonderful personality lol. Women can't fake it lol...her body language is a dead giveaway. I'll be the first to admit that there needs to be some element of physical attraction....but my point is that womens main factor (if not the only one) is based on looks...women don't even care about getting to know someone if there not hot....and this seems to be everywhere...sexsites, websites, real life and relationships. Guys (believe it or not) are happy in getting to know someone even if she isn't hot looking regardless of where they meet them. I know i will get heaps of hate responses...cut and pastes flying everywhere but its just my take. I'm not saying i'm right, a lot will disagree and i'm not saying this as a complaint. The topic was here so i've just added my bit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Enigmaoflove' This will be a massive post but i'll do it anyway. This topic is the same for everyone which stems into other associated topics. Hardly ever in my life have I taken the male side or stuck up for males with this topic probably being the only one. I think society (namely women) have conveniently turned this looks and shallow issue into a false stigma. This false belief that men are these shallow physical creatures where substance doesn't matter. This is completely wrong and i'll explain why the stigma should be the other way around. Point number one - Take a look at the way females and males live. Every single aspect of womens life (not just sexual) is based on the exterior looks and presentation. For example shoes, makeup, clothes, holiday destinations, what the new kitchen will look like, even cars, gardens and most things. Then take a look at mens approach on looks....slap on ordinary clothes, near enough is good enough, if its not quite right no problems, talk about sport, building things, fishing, having to pay bills etc....guys don't live each day thinking about or being judgemental on looks be it on women or most other things. Point number two - What do women do and want to do nearly every single day....talk to girlfriends about the size of guys cocks and how hot looking (or not hot looking) certain guys are. Just speaking from my own experience of witnessing this the things that are said are so degrading that unless you look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt a male would be lucky to have just 20 percent confidence in himself. Now look at how and what guys talk about....sport, fitness, jokes, fishing, cars, building things and general things. Guys don't talk like "oh my gosh her makeup was horrid" lol....guys have never talked like that and are not superficial or shallow. Point number three - take this site which is a sex site. What is the one thing you know for sure is going to happen.....95% of guys would sleep with nearly anyone. That is another stigma placed on men that they would sleep with nearly anyone...and its 100% true. Isn't that at least being honest and at the same time demonstrates that looks don't matter nearly as much as society thinks it does and is the complete roll reversal of women. The only guys women will sleep with are the 5% genetically attractive guys. So 100% of women on this site are all chasing the 5% of hot guys...which perfectly demonstrates that its women that place looks as the main factor (if not the only factor). This has been easily witnessed on this site with model like guys being swamped with 150 friends request in the first 24 hours of being on here. Above all of that the dissapointing aspect of this is that women seem to judge intelligence, honesty, decency and a guys personality on his looks. So if a guy looks hot he is automatically all of the things i just mentioned and its everywhere in life not just a sex website. In relation to the topic this is the reason why i've stressed thousand of times only do basic ordinary photos in normal light wearing ordinary clothes. Everyone knows the only reason most meet for coffee etc is to physically judge the other person. Like i just mentioned most guys would sleep with 95% of women so for males the coffee meeting isn't about looks and its basically a waste of time. For females its different....the attractive 5% of guys are automatically in for coffee and wham bam...the other small percentage of guys get a coffee by luck. One thing most guys know for sure...if a woman isn't attracted to him in the first one second of meeting she automatically turns off and just wants to leave...and thats even before she gets to know his wonderful personality lol. Women can't fake it lol...her body language is a dead giveaway. I'll be the first to admit that there needs to be some element of physical attraction....but my point is that womens main factor (if not the only one) is based on looks...women don't even care about getting to know someone if there not hot....and this seems to be everywhere...sexsites, websites, real life and relationships. Guys (believe it or not) are happy in getting to know someone even if she isn't hot looking regardless of where they meet them. I know i will get heaps of hate responses...cut and pastes flying everywhere but its just my take. I'm not saying i'm right, a lot will disagree and i'm not saying this as a complaint. The topic was here so i've just added my bit. No hate from me just disagreement.... Firstly for me your so called 'hot' guys (as much as i like a profile pic like yours) these are the men i generally dont near them. I'm not buffed, athletic etc... so for me i am intimidated by the thought of getting naked with a guy built like that. Secondly looks are definitely NOT the only factor for a woman. I would go as far as saying that i bet the majority of the women on RHP are looking for a personality, a connection, a conversation etc... i certainly am. Thirdly, who defines hot? what is 'hot' to me isnt to another woman so in regards to you saying only 5% of guys on RHP are getting a coffee (& a shag without pure luck) has got to incorrect. We all have different preferences, we dont all like the same things whether you're talking italian food, AFL or blondes & brunettes... I for one think Tom Cruise is a pitiful excuse of man and not attractive in the least so on that example alone.... well mmmmm nope! Fourthly to say guys only talk about fishing, jokes etc.... is wrong. I work in a heavily male dominated industry and while the guys dont talk about a womans makeup (??) they are the first to comment on her tit size, cleavage, legs, short skirt etc....I hear the same things around my male friends.... Its human nature right? as it is for a woman to admire a guy they think is easy on the eye... And lastly, SOME men are superficial and shallow as some women are.... tad outrageous to say they are not... Massive sweeping generalisation my friend. But thats just my humble opinion
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RHP User
12 years ago
you took the words out of my mouth........... ditto all you say..(except you have a sucky footy team !!!....) especially what guys say about women - I work with all men as well and if they arent talking footy or cricket they are talking the chick talk and making random comments - just as you said... and engima sorry but its rare that a bunch of chicks sit around talking about guys cock size (despite What the Sex and city gals said...where did you get your info from ?) .... ........this is what we are talking about - we are wondering/analysing if your gonna call us again.. ...what your last sms to us REALLY meant - we perform post mortems on what you say or do with or to us....we are wondeirng or agonising over whether you REALLY like us...were we too forward to you, not sexually exciting enough for you, are we too fat for you ....and wondering why dont you calll ??????????? cause you said we had fun and it was a good nite...yada yada yada Your cock size, does not come into it !!!.......unless your a ongoing thing with us..then we do gloat
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mister Enigma....you sound rather grumpy my friend. Just as you wouldnt appreciate being judged and thrown into a pile, neither do all these "women" you speak of. Man...you should check out my wardrobe if you think all women are into fancy attire...90% of it was under 5bucks at the opshop! Fancy crap actually turns me off....give me a hippy with dreads, thongs, and poo catcher pants driving a combi any day over an executive in a suit driving a Lexus (thats a fancy car, right?) And i shared over a decade in a monogomous relationship with a man who was very ordinary looking from the outside. Of course good looks will get attention first up simply because thats just the most obvious factor we are are confronted with. And i actually recently went on a date with a rhp dude who i didnt think looked that fantastic on his profile pics, but got to chatting and discovered we shared a lot in common. It turned out when we met he was really hot looking and such a lovely person (yep....going on another date tomorrow!!) Dont throw us all in a basket my friend. I'd go on a date with you by the way...but you wont take me up on the offer :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Enigmaoflove' This will be a massive post but i'll do it anyway. This topic is the same for everyone which stems into other associated topics. Hardly ever in my life have I taken the male side or stuck up for males with this topic probably being the only one. I think society (namely women) have conveniently turned this looks and shallow issue into a false stigma. This false belief that men are these shallow physical creatures where substance doesn't matter. This is completely wrong and i'll explain why the stigma should be the other way around. Point number one - Take a look at the way females and males live. Every single aspect of womens life (not just sexual) is based on the exterior looks and presentation. For example shoes, makeup, clothes, holiday destinations, what the new kitchen will look like, even cars, gardens and most things. Then take a look at mens approach on looks....slap on ordinary clothes, near enough is good enough, if its not quite right no problems, talk about sport, building things, fishing, having to pay bills etc....guys don't live each day thinking about or being judgemental on looks be it on women or most other things. Point number two - What do women do and want to do nearly every single day....talk to girlfriends about the size of guys cocks and how hot looking (or not hot looking) certain guys are. Just speaking from my own experience of witnessing this the things that are said are so degrading that unless you look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt a male would be lucky to have just 20 percent confidence in himself. Now look at how and what guys talk about....sport, fitness, jokes, fishing, cars, building things and general things. Guys don't talk like "oh my gosh her makeup was horrid" lol....guys have never talked like that and are not superficial or shallow. Point number three - take this site which is a sex site. What is the one thing you know for sure is going to happen.....95% of guys would sleep with nearly anyone. That is another stigma placed on men that they would sleep with nearly anyone...and its 100% true. Isn't that at least being honest and at the same time demonstrates that looks don't matter nearly as much as society thinks it does and is the complete roll reversal of women. The only guys women will sleep with are the 5% genetically attractive guys. So 100% of women on this site are all chasing the 5% of hot guys...which perfectly demonstrates that its women that place looks as the main factor (if not the only factor). This has been easily witnessed on this site with model like guys being swamped with 150 friends request in the first 24 hours of being on here. Above all of that the dissapointing aspect of this is that women seem to judge intelligence, honesty, decency and a guys personality on his looks. So if a guy looks hot he is automatically all of the things i just mentioned and its everywhere in life not just a sex website. In relation to the topic this is the reason why i've stressed thousand of times only do basic ordinary photos in normal light wearing ordinary clothes. Everyone knows the only reason most meet for coffee etc is to physically judge the other person. Like i just mentioned most guys would sleep with 95% of women so for males the coffee meeting isn't about looks and its basically a waste of time. For females its different....the attractive 5% of guys are automatically in for coffee and wham bam...the other small percentage of guys get a coffee by luck. One thing most guys know for sure...if a woman isn't attracted to him in the first one second of meeting she automatically turns off and just wants to leave...and thats even before she gets to know his wonderful personality lol. Women can't fake it lol...her body language is a dead giveaway. I'll be the first to admit that there needs to be some element of physical attraction....but my point is that womens main factor (if not the only one) is based on looks...women don't even care about getting to know someone if there not hot....and this seems to be everywhere...sexsites, websites, real life and relationships. Guys (believe it or not) are happy in getting to know someone even if she isn't hot looking regardless of where they meet them. I know i will get heaps of hate responses...cut and pastes flying everywhere but its just my take. I'm not saying i'm right, a lot will disagree and i'm not saying this as a complaint. The topic was here so i've just added my bit. Poiint number one - Then take a look at mens approach on looks....slap on ordinary clothes, near enough is good enough, if its not quite right no problems, talk about sport, building things, fishing, having to pay bills etc....guys don't live each day thinking about or being judgemental on looks be it on women or most other things. Really???? and what planet is this on? Point number two - What do women do and want to do nearly every single day....talk to girlfriends about the size of guys cocks and how hot looking (or not hot looking) certain guys are. Really????? Shit I have the wrong sort of friends. Dont talk to any of my friends about cocks at all as they dont know I"m on these sites. Point number three - So 100% of women on this site are all chasing the 5% of hot guys...which perfectly demonstrates that its women that place looks as the main factor (if not the only factor). Really???? So not true. Why go for the "hot" guys when supposedly all the other women are. Too much competition there.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Shinasbabe27' you took the words out of my mouth........... ditto all you say..(except you have a sucky footy team !!!....) Yeah well we both know.... you're WRONG!! but thats another topic... Pies rule (hot and all that), Cats...meow! And have to agree about the cock size... nup i honestly dont ever recall discussing guys cock size.....well not specifics anyway! lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Come on ladies you have discussed cock size. I have many female friends and when a new guy is on the scene it does come up. Not all night but it is raised (LOL). It does not matter that much to most but it is a subject that girls do discus from time to time. Just like we talk about the size of their tits. Men and women are different for the fact that women are the ones that have to create life, its a big investment in time and physically energy, and thus they are so much more selective. Men can have an almost unlimited number of children and we thus are not selective, in fact the reverse, we evolved to get as much as we can.We are no longer hunter gathers but we still carry the mental conditioning. The modern world has only been here for but 100 years and it is not something we are good at. Women and men have a right to not like someone and I think the major problem here is the deception of profiles, images, and contact. But then its not only men that lie.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I kind of get the gist of what you are saying, but I think its a little exaggerated. I'm the first person to put my hand up that I don't understand women too well but firstly.. Women dress to impress because maybe they actually want to catch your eye, and there is a huge amount of guys who do judge girls on looks.. Just because you and I may not doesnt mean all men are the same. Point 2 - talking about hot guys, well they do tend to do that a lot but then when I'm out with my mates we always do the double take when a hot girl walks past... Might not talk about it but we certainly notice. I dunno about the looks thing.. Girls like to look just as much as men, I think they just want a guy that looks after himself and can look after her, if he can't look after himself how is he going to look after her.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Honesty is always the best i believe.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm guilty at times of not saying sorry not feeling it and have taken a few for the team once I even faked my own orgasm to get it over with
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RHP User
12 years ago
Assuming the provided info from the guy your meeting is accurate. Then the cause of this sort of thing is probably pheromones. If his are the same type as yours then he is immediatly less atractive to you. If they are the opposite variety (2 main types) then he will seem sexier. It's a biological thing for genetic diversity. working from memory here so don't quote me lol. Being honest about it is probably best guys will overlook this lessening of attraction to have sex.
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Sorry mr Amused.... I cant agree with you.Especially after the author of the topic told us the problem... "i can't help but feel disappointed when a guy just doesn't live up to their hot profile pic!!"I think the topic of pheromones is pretty overrated today given the common habit of wearing deodorants and fragrances.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey DGpheromones are a big part of what people are talking about when they are talking about chemistry, just because they are not consciously aware of it doesn't change human biology. Saying its over rated because of perfumes/fragrances is silly since they have no effect on whether or not you produce pheromones. They don't cover them either just make you smell nice. where as the chemicals our bodies produce are targeted for specific purposes. i wasn't really talking about her post so much as offering info for why this can occur. Hence the assuming part.
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
DG......artificial scents cant hold back our natural pheromones.A person may not live up to their hot profile pic but if the right connection of pheramones are there between two people it really doesnt matter.I have written this little piece before, it may have been before your time here or maybe you just didnt read it...The following presentation is medically - scientifically proven.My teminology is not correct however, just using words everyone should be able to follow....Take one female, her genetic make up is for instance ABTake one male, his genetic make is for instance CDOur inate sense of smell kicks in and Ms AB smells Mr CD and they subconsiously go "Woohoo" together we make the right combination of AB-CD.....our genes are right for each other and our children will have the right combination of genetic material.They get married have a bundle of healthy children and live happily ever after. The End.Well that is how it use to be......It has now be proven that the Contraceptive pill is a major cause of break ups and illness in kids.The reason being is that the pill in many (not all ) cases actually changes the womans sense of smell.For instance, woman is AB, meets man who is AB. (and has a really hot profile pic)They get together have a bundle of fabulous sex, decide to have kids....she goes off the pill, wakes up one day and says to the man "You stink! Get out of my bed , I dont want to see you ever again! "this is because her sense of smell - AB , is no longer attracted to his AB pheramones.Our bodies instinctively know we need the mix of AB-CD for everyone to be happy and healthy.This is a very simplistic overview....hope it makes sense to some folks past relationships.
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
that has been barely mentioned is personal safety.Whilst it is all very well to go on about honesty, being upfront and not playing games etc.The fact is many people just can't handle rejection and make things difficult with the why, why, why ?Indeed even get abusive and create an ugly scene, it only needs to happen once to make you think twice about giving it too them straight on the spot.My women friends who date have told me that often they say "yes, lovely time thank you" and then do the "no thanks your not my type" by text. It's for there own safety.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Universal pheromones as so far only one guy has said no to me,when I was all over him like a cheap suit. so I can only sumise that mine are okwith every man or could be its cause I have a V and I am available being rhp hot,is sooooooooooo rewarding without it, I would never have got laid IGA was sick of me going down there and hanging out trying to pick up so RHP is my new IGA that one rejection, well it just hurt me sooooooooooo much ..sniff for a while there I thought I could just not face another cock but I recovered and found stalking helped.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sarapis'I'm guilty at times of not saying sorry not feeling it and have taken a few for the team once I even faked my own orgasm to get it over with as opposed to faking someone elses orgasim?
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RHP User
12 years ago
It almost goes without saying that if you have lied in your profile or put up false or misleading pictures. Then you have a self esteme issue somewhere in there. These are the exact type of people who will react badly in some form or another to rejection . Having said that though i don't agree with going through with it anyway. Pity sex is not going to do anyone any favours. The simple true is that if you lie on your profiles and your to stupid to realise that your probably going to get rejected then i feel sorry for you. But rewarding them for that stupidity is lame. Like giving a child chocolate for behaving badly what do you think will happen?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Whatever it is that you are looking for whether it is one night stand, FWB or something longer term. I think that if we talk honestly about what we want and expect and first just have a short meeting for a coffee maybe. To each others face. That works for me. Sometimes it is not just all about looks but personality too. And if you are being honest about the possibility of meeting and not having chemistry. There should not be any problems. I have rejected and been rejected. I don't take rejection personal, because I know that there are a lot of other men that find me attractive and I lhappen to like the way I look and am. Self steem...is the magic word. if you are being kind when rejecting someone and this person gets offended or gets hurt and take it personally, then there is not much that anybody can do. Coming to this sort of website involves a risk of rejection. We are all supposed to be adults and be ready to take it. The other option is Not to say anything or say yes. Which by the way I hate when guys do that and tell you that they like you and then you don't know what happened. I don't have a problem with rejection at all. I am strong enough to take it so please be honest. It saves everybody trouble and if somebody gets hurt. Good!!!! We all need to learn the lesson on How to take rejection. It may sound cruel.....But sometimes we need to learn the hard way.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with freya13 ..arrange to have a drink first and suss eachother out , sometimes first thoughts and reactions can change due to a little time spent talking to eachother . I for one am extremely turned on by the mind and personality . Someone who is sexy as can become a dead shit because they are so up them selves and then the not so sexy come alive and ooze sexuality by just the way they converse with you and then that spark ignites . Looks get you in but brains keep you entertained. I SAY GIVE IT A GO THEN U KNOW if no good well next time can only get better 😉- Posted from rhpmobile
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