F56
Do you get bored, lack variety?
September 07 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey Girl, Sounds like you need a partner that likes to swing! Then you can have all the variety you like, if the both of you are into the liefstyle.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm very satisfied. ...I hope she feels the same way...
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Maybetheone
12 years ago
Miss lollypop,You are by nature submissive.Keep to how you feel most comfortable, meaning : being submissive you need a true Dominant. Real Dom's live by Truth, Trust, Respect, Understanding, Connection, Empathy and Passion.True Dom will actually talk with their girl to find out 'exactly' what she needs/wants/desires. Truth : meaning Real Dom's are very true to themselves and know what they need/want/desire and wont take on a girl if he doesn't want to put the time in to get to really know her. Every answer you ask will be the truth, no b/s.Trust : meaning He will after getting to know you trust you and expect the same in return. He does not give this easily and it needs to be earned as with his girl trusting Him.Respect : meaning He will Respect you for you and never put you in a situation where you are feeling unsure, used or not getting something out of it.Understanding : meaning He will actually talk with you, very open, nothing hidden, so you can feel relaxed and safe knowing whatever you say is actually absorbed and Understood again your feeling/wants/needs/desires.Connection : meaning He will be very honest with you and tell you what he is feeling as well, yes lol there are men out their that will actually talk and let you know what they feel/want/need and desire as well as what is going on in their head.Empathy : meaning He will put himself in your shoes on any topic and help you make an informed decision. Comfort you after any scene/play that has pushed you as well as understanding a busy day at work.Passion : meaning he will do his best to make whatever experience with you a passionate one, whether it be slow and sensual to pushing you to different levels.Bottom line, get to really 'Understand Yourself', what you really need/want and desire in a partner. DOMINANT TIME FOR YOU : Talk with the man you are considering. Ask questions that will push him to give you a response and make sure he has answered what your requesting of him. Dominants will answer and truthfully good or bad. Always inform him of how your feeling, most men will run when a girl releases her feelings. RD's will talk with you and show they actually do care as well as inform you if they feel you are going over the top :P.Hope this has helped you and please feel free to msg me if you wish to ask anything you have been trying to answer yourself but unable to find the reason WHY :)CC
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RHP User
12 years ago
That communication here is paramount. Uninhibited, raw, lay the lot on the line, what you wanna do, and what you want from the partner before going there. That will inevitably give them the choice as to whether or not they can keep things as random as you desire. If that doesn't work, or it's failed in the past, then maybe these guys haven't understood exactly what you mean?? Other than that I feel your pain as I'd be at a loss as well. :) great thread though.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Familiarity breeds contempt. We have all been there' and we forever try to recreate that time when bells rang and sparrows flew outta our arse... and it just dont happen in the same wayIt was good because it was new and exciting, backing up for seconds is never quite the same... Why do you think there are so many couples on RHP. ? Not because they dont love each other... mainly its to experience the excitement and difference of someone new...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Luvnya69 - Thanks for the reply. Currently all my FWB'S are swingers. Love my time with them, but still its lacking in variety. Jensman - Good to hear your happy. Jens probably happy but she may also be thinking some other variety may be nice. Maybe worth asking? ConsensualContrl - I hear what your saying, although sexual orientation or D/s isnt the issue. Been there done that, got the t-shirt LOL Still doing it not knocking it. My point more so is that without 100's of partners giving variety, regular FWB'S still get into that routine of their favourites and dont stray far from there. Communication and knowledge is not lacking, its just that one night of variety will still slip back into a majority of their basic routine next time. Is it men are easy pleased sexually that they are happy with the mundane that gets them off and keeping it constantly interesting for themselves and their partners, is something few (I wont say all) want or need? My big question is, keeping that variety in a long term relationship where it would ben an open/swinging relationship as they all are now, but that main partner keeping the spark possible. I feel that in the long term, those men are not easy to find. Hardtruckin - I call a spade a spade, am not one about to sugar coat things, although mens ego's are fragile when it comes to things sexual and I certainly am not that mean to my men. Visiting an FWB last night, I actually commented how I am feeling bored, made it general and not aimed directly at him, made comments about feeling in a rut and sexual appetite is lacking due to this. He listened but was really no communication back on 'what shal we do to spice it up'. That relationship is kink based and it involves swinging, so short of saying 'your boring me in bed' I am at a loss. Men are not up there on the top of the list as great communicators, we know that, but right now, celibacy is looking damn good, to try something new LOL Thanks for feeling my pain, overall I am easy pleased, no baggage etc but I do know in the bedoom, I do, and have for many years, gotten bored so may need to advertise 'high maintenance in the bedroom' from now on LOL Thanks everyone for your input, I will certainly put more thought into what you have all said and see if I can find a way around it with those who are close to me XX
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ms Lollipop ,can you find one for me too please;) Minxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is just that. A guy can swing of a shower and whistle dixie and we would all get a tad bored in the end. thats life the hot sex fizzles and it does sometimes, I am sure angie gets sick of Brad Pit then other things kick in to play. variety of partners is a turn on for me. nothing wrong with that at all. depends on how you connect to the person and what other things you have in common. lets face it, there is only so much of the whooooo whooooo lets try the parot and the creampie and the arsinal hall and the fly swatter with a lemon twist and the tea bag and the snow ball and the... it can still leave you going zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,
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RHP User
12 years ago
Wish I could I could say I was having boring sex, at least then I would be getting some! Did try armpit sex once though to add a new dimension.
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WHY_NOT_LOOK
12 years ago
Yes im feeling the same way i either scare then off if i say what im looking for... Or if i dont say what im after then i get the vanilla long term wanting kids Im happy just to stay on my own now.. but gee it would be so much more fun to share it with someone that is easy going looking to keep stimulated in and out of the bedroom... not getting old before my time
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RHP User
12 years ago
For me, the deeper and more intense the connection - the love and the chemistry - the more astonishing the sex. I remember moments of amazing connection, I don't remember physical acts. I've done plenty of things, plenty of variety for me, but I always find them completely hollow without deep connection. The good thing is that a wonderful connection can make even the most vanilla sex incredible. At least that's been my experience. So, I search for connection and when I find it I treasure it and do what I can to honour it :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sets the men apart from the boys. I too am very much a spade is a spade. I also think that we as humans don't like hearing the truth as quite often it's different to our expectations. I would also like to praise your efforts in asking the question"what can we do to spice things up?". That shows an interest in solving the problem with consultation, it's a quality I see disappearing in our modern day relationships.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You're a woman after my own heart. Sex with substance that is felt is better than masturbation using some lady's vagina.
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RHP User
12 years ago
bored? no...as time goes by and we understand more about each other.... our sex life improves and becomes more satsifying....communication has allowed us to explore things that we only ever imagined in our fantasies.... for me personally, i dont need 'variety' as i played the field and had that when young....all the while longing for something permanent and long term..glad to be a one woman man, and proud to say that temptation is something i only see in my wife.
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SacralChakra
12 years ago
Quoting 'halcyon_days'For me, the deeper and more intense the connection - the love and the chemistry - the more astonishing the sex. I remember moments of amazing connection, I don't remember physical acts. I've done plenty of things, plenty of variety for me, but I always find them completely hollow without deep connection. The good thing is that a wonderful connection can make even the most vanilla sex incredible. At least that's been my experience. So, I search for connection and when I find it I treasure it and do what I can to honour it :) This is exactly how I feel too. The connection takes the game to a higher level and can absolutely be maintained as long as there is trust, honesty and communication.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh I dont know about FWBs getting into a tried and true rut. I have a FWB of a couple of years and everytime I see him its different to the previous. Over time we have built trust up to know we can talk about and explore our sexuality with each other...we have fun together...sure we know what the other enjoys and whats likely to get them hot under the collar quickly but we use this knowledge to enjoy ourselves and how we do things / what we do / where we do it can vary on a regular basis. Maybe I just got lucky to find a sexually creative person who is as kinky as I am???? Kisses Focus
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think communicating what you want with a partner is very important.If they care for you ,all you have to do is ask.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Check out a BDSM club. There are Hellfire clubs in most major cities. You'll meet some very interesting people with great moves, who have as big an appetite for variety as you. Make yourself uncomfortable, get your freak on. Make suggestions in the bed. And always: if it's boring fantasize about what you want it to be like.
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Bbare
12 years ago
halcyon_days, really sums it all up, thank you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks everyone again, great input. Connection, yes of course, that always makes a difference, but if that connection doesnt have a spicy person full of variety to go with that in the bedroom, then the mundane can still occur. #1 I am very happy single and have been for a long time, not desperate, not looking, just eyes open and 'who knows' #2 Still single and not found the one who can keep me on my toes for long enough LOL #3 Still bored but having a F*&#!#@ good time and a good laugh either way! I am going to try some Dogging, spice it up a bit there LOL Anyone want to add something to that subject?
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