F72
Do you think we want to much?
April 15 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
happily single me
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting TR: " We want men that are hot, are loaded, have their own house, have a good job, have a good car. Can clean can fix things, can get on with our friends can read our minds, can give us mind blowing sex can sweep us off our feet, be romantic......." I only ask for three out of those twelve. Could seriously not care less about the material things. I don't think I'm asking too much. I deserve a man that gets on with my friends, gives me mind-blowing sex and sweeps me off my feet. We all do!
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subgal_gc
12 years ago
I don't think we do... where is written that we can't ask for all that and more if that is what you want to be happy. Me I will be happy with someone that can make me laugh (and laugh at themselves), gets on with my friends, gives mind blowing sex and will hold me while we fall asleep.... Materialistic things are not that important to me. Jobs come and go, so does the money, looks fade but personality last a lifetime...
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RHP User
12 years ago
When it comes to relationships i have high standards! In fact when i seperated from my husband last year i sat down and wrote a list. I got very very clear on the characteristics and values i wanted in my next partner. None of the things on my list are material things. I won't compromise. If i did it would make a mockery of the 26 years i was with my husband and the pain and difficult time for myself and my family since the seperation. Luckily.....i think just maybe i've met that man.......time will tell.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Wanting all you have listed is not a problem... just don't expect to find it all in any one given man. I'm good, but not THAT good. My list of wants is slightly smaller but methinks just as unobtainable.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm not looking for 'that' special person. I don't want a 'relationship' right now. I'm looking for lots of special people and so far, I've met lots of them from this site. (Not all I've bonked either). That awesome woman I met during the Big Brother auditions was pretty cool!!!ps. I wouldn't say no to a man who would come and chop my firewood for me though.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am happy with gainfully employed...... I don't care what at!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Gainfully employed... Breathing.... but without a machine to aid in said breathing, mobile and that does not mean running in the opposite direction either. Be able to converse coherently, English being first language preference as it is mine. Reasonably independent. Don't want to be smothered.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
My journey has not ended and I am not about to give things or my Freedom up - they would have to be REALLY REALLY SPECIAL for that.I do get what you are saying OP - I too just recently had this same conversation with a girlfriend of mine.We came up with this conclusion."Our list and what the ideal man we want, is all in out heads and imagination, there is no such thing as the PERFECT MAN, whom we meet is completely different to who we met in Real Life." I think every one is sexy, handsome, good looking, smart, intelligent etc etc in someones eyes - the problem is they just have found us yet....they too are out there looking and when the time is right - it will be right.Everyone want to feel special, loved, touched by another etc etc but somehow sometimes these things don't happen at the same time..FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think if people aren't willing to compromise or sacrifice anything at all, they perhaps want too much. But equally there's a fine line between being realistic, and 'settling'. No-one really wants to settle. When people insist on perfection they're often let down so it helps to be clear about must-haves v nice-to-haves. Like a few people have said, I have no interest in a man for his material successes. I'm attracted to a man with a good work ethic and a willingness to do what it takes to keep a roof over his head and food on the table, but beyond that the make of his care or brand of his jeans doesn't matter a great deal to me. A little, but not much in the grand scheme of things. I'm much more interested in his heart, mind and spirit, and yes, his body. My biggest frustration is that I'm only really attracted to a particular body type and look, and annoyingly, that look doesn't often come packaged with the heart, mind and spirit I seek. And when it does, phwoar!, but equally annoyingly that kind of guy isn't often looking for me (given I don't come with the whole package either). So, I often ponder whether I want too much. Or whether I need to compromise. Or settle for less. So far I'm undecided
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RHP User
12 years ago
Constant unrealistic demands are the symptoms of a deeper problem. Perfect people don't exist. How long would it be until you got bored of the dream model once you had them in your hands? What would they find in regular me? The idea of meeting a Stepford-esque woman horrifies me.I won't ask anything of anyone I wouldn't ask of myself. I strive, but sometimes I'm going to fall, and not everyones going to like me. Need the good and the bad, Wabi-Sabi, Diff'rent Strokes theme song, blah blah, etc.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not sure about this one...I would willing and have willing given all that I have to a person, actually to two different people, during my life, and i find myself thinking this...I'd rather chop firewood and enjoy the company of a close friend than lose sleep over searching for the person that will give me everything. Miss_D i agree completely...Paintme, only if your axe is sharp.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thats why a book called 50 shades of grey is so popular with women sheer fantasy lol- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme'I'm not looking for 'that' special person. I don't want a 'relationship' right now. I'm looking for lots of special people and so far, I've met lots of them from this site. (Not all I've bonked either). That awesome woman I met during the Big Brother auditions was pretty cool!!! ps. I wouldn't say no to a man who would come and chop my firewood for me though. that knows how to cut grass
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' Quoting 'paintme'ps. I wouldn't say no to a man who would come and chop my firewood for me though. that knows how to cut grass I can cook. Does that count?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' Quoting 'paintme'I'm not looking for 'that' special person. I don't want a 'relationship' right now. I'm looking for lots of special people and so far, I've met lots of them from this site. (Not all I've bonked either). That awesome woman I met during the Big Brother auditions was pretty cool!!! ps. I wouldn't say no to a man who would come and chop my firewood for me though. that knows how to cut grass That's a lot of grass to cut ...
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I only ask for three out of those twelve. Could seriously not care less about the material things. I don't think I'm asking too much. I deserve a man that gets on with my friends, gives me mind-blowing sex and sweeps me off my feet. We all do! He has to be over 6ft too ET xox
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' Quoting 'tuscanred' Quoting 'paintme'I'm not looking for 'that' special person. I don't want a 'relationship' right now. I'm looking for lots of special people and so far, I've met lots of them from this site. (Not all I've bonked either). That awesome woman I met during the Big Brother auditions was pretty cool!!! ps. I wouldn't say no to a man who would come and chop my firewood for me though. that knows how to cut grass That's a lot of grass to cut ... Let me use your ride-on and when I'm finished you can use my ride-on ET xox
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'submissivegalgc'Me I will be happy with someone that can make me laugh (and laugh at themselves), gets on with my friends, gives mind blowing sex and will hold me while we fall asleep.... Materialistic things are not that important to me. Jobs come and go, so does the money, looks fade but personality last a lifetime... Like ET xox
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred'We want men that are hot, are loaded... Interesting you mentioned these as the first 2 on your list, obviously the most important. Quoting 'tuscanred'Can clean can fix things... Do you really think he would do these if he was loaded ? More than likely he would get in the hot tradie to do it for him and then give you the flick after he found out you bedded the tradie after the work was completed. ET xox
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well said TR... you're not asking much Ms D, those things you seek are extremely important. I'm not fussed with much of it either but am on the same line as Ms D. Those few qualities are fairly critical for me, I could then turn them into the special person as time goes on. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
sometimes just plain hard work, you have to be able to compromise, give and take, share all things especially time and at the end of the day, still be friends. Perfection does not exist, excluding me of course lol, happiness comes from within, for a relationship to work both partners have to grow as individuals as well as together as a couple.Just my 2 cents worth.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have again brought up such a great subject. I am single after my husband past on because I was not looking for a relationship. Time was just not available to go out. I would have loved a man in my life ohh yes, to help me with many things, but most of all cuddle me when I was shit scared of what was so unknown for me, and falling into strong arms is just soooo good.. Having sex with someone you like is much betters than an occasional fuck, FOR ME THAT IS I have ask myself many time what I want in a man, only to find out I have no idea really, no fucking idea. I don’t want the young males I am not interested in these males. I like the men around my age. I haven’t found someone I have clicked with. I am not saying I have not fallen in love with someone. But it takes two to do this and start a relationship. I was in love, he not, so that’s that. I like the males who are my lovers but I don’t care in a way when I see them. I am happy when they are in my home but I am also happy when they go. I have no specific picture in my mind how the man I would like a relationship with has to look, but I know I couldn’t fall in love with someone who cant match my mind a little bit. I think when you meet someone and you click, you click, I am not the beauty queen so how can I expect to meet a male who looks like a DAVID? I think that’s a bit stupid. The quality a male has which matches me is hard to define because it is, just is. You meet you talk you find common ground you like each other you click. Simple. But then maybe in a way I am simple. SO, WHERE IS MY SECOND MATCH? And hey should you be out there please be so nice and fucking show yourself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I used to have a friend who was always "cutting my grass." bastard always stole the fun woman away from me :p
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Playful2looking
12 years ago
My understanding of some singles is that they like to have sex with male/female. But dont really like them. They feel that they have nothing in common just sex. Maybe they cant share their space or are happy to be single for a variety of reasons. In other words they draw up a very strict list of what their partner has to be. Thus maybe hoping for failure. No man or woman will ever measure up to a list. In reference to Tuscan saying my age group prefer porn stars or shopping over seas. I dont feel is a majority in this age group but if it is; it is quiet sad. that said women in our age group seem to have a chip on their shoulder. I don't know why. Thats why generally i can talk and laugh with younger women. They seem to be much happier. i dont think some men really enjoy women's company they prefer to hang out with their mates. Of course some women are the same. My wife hates girlie dinner dates because most end up running their men down. My wife is my best mate we talk; she aren't perfect but I do enjoy her company and miss her when she is not there. Yes I think male / female expect too much from each other.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Everyone is entitled to happiness, in whatever form that entails for them. Ask for everything you want, and if you are not prepared to compromise, then it's your decision. My thoughts anyway
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RHP User
12 years ago
My experience in the dating game would suggest 'generally' the answer is yes. I realise my experience is not reflective of 'all'. That said, what i've found is that what people expect, vs what they offer, are often far mismatched. There is a difference between having a high standard, and having an unrealistic one. Many women I've met have sky high standards that in reality maybe 1% of the male population could come close to meeting, the rest of the male population cant' begin to scratch the surface. When I've looked at who's making these 'demands' if you will, well, i think its fair to say there's a considerable imbalance with what's on offer as compared to what's expected. I've met a great many who want all the benefits of a relationship without offering anything even remotely close in return. If you aint offerin' you aint gettin' in my book. I don't know where this sense of entitlement is coming from, nor am i suggesting anyone settle for someone they aren't happy with, and I dont' think its the sole reason for the shit state of relationships in general but its a factor contributing to it. People don't do commitment any more, there's too much choice, so why bother fixing it when you have 4 others on the web all ready to go, you can just throw that person away and get another one. I know my father would be horrified, he came from the generation where people worked at relationships, loved the one they were with rather than trying to change the one they were with or find the 'perfect' person. Perfection doesn't exist. I think the sooner people get back to accepting that and appreciating what's right in front of their eyes, and get out from behind the PC screen and learn to communicate in person again, and deal with confrontation, the better we'll all be.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Our past experiences are something that shapes our desires in the sense that we soon learn what we DON'T want. However, and I'm guilty of this in the past, that we then become so focused on what's left, we become blind to the perfection that quite often is standing right in front of us. We're just just too scared to admit it to ourselves.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
How many times have we looked at a friend who's with someone who lacks one of those desirable characteristics and thought 'my friend is too good for them'? Unfortunately I've had the high standards mentality hammered into me from a very young age where my parents always dubbed someone as 'not good enough' if they lacked one of those qualities. What started off as people thinking 'you deserve more' has really turned into 'you deserve someone who doesn't even exist.'Am I happy though? Well I'm not a in a relationship because I don't believe in expending my time, mind and self to someone who I don't think deserves it. I do however, have a number of close friends who each satisfy a number of those desirable qualities - one can fix things, one gets on with my friends, one can read my mind and give me mind blowing sex ;)I'm satisfied for the time being and that's what matters to me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Also, do you really want what you wish for? How do you know it's what you want? There's bound to be a whole lot more.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'eagertongue4u' Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I only ask for three out of those twelve. Could seriously not care less about the material things. I don't think I'm asking too much. I deserve a man that gets on with my friends, gives me mind-blowing sex and sweeps me off my feet. We all do! He has to be over 6ft too ET xox If you must know: I want a man who is sarcastic, knows his grammar, doesn't smoke, has clean fingernails, loves animals, does not wear gold jewelry, is respectful, ehh.... I can go on and on and on. Problem?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thought that what I wanted was a partner.A man that I could spend the rest of my life with.Nearly four years later I have completely changed my mind.I am no longer looking for that,I am happy if I find a few friends along the way but I no longer seek that which does not exist for me. I think that I am very content being alone,answering to nobody but me.Perhaps this is because pair bonding is no longer a biological imperative for me.I was a single parent and became used to depending on nobody but me. There are indeed many different permutations of relationship,being part of a couple is only one. Many single people have been emotionally damaged by their experience of marriage,many are sad and bitter.I doubt that it is possible for them to recover enough to even want to try and find another man or woman to spend more than a nano second with. It is a lovely fantasy to think that there is someone for everyone,the truth is there are usually just a few maybes and almosts.....with a few exceptions. The divorce rate in this country is high,the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher.Perhaps singledom is the new fashion,particularly for those of us who no longer need to find a mate for that biological imperative. Afteral there is nothing wrong with fun and friendship.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' I think that I am very content being alone,answering to nobody but me.Perhaps this is because pair bonding is no longer a biological imperative for me.I was a single parent and became used to depending on nobody but me. Same, I love being alone and doing what I want, who I want, when and where I want. Though it would have been nice for someone to feed me soup and stroke my hair today.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'eagertongue4u' Quoting 'tuscanred'We want men that are hot, are loaded... Interesting you mentioned these as the first 2 on your list, obviously the most important. Quoting 'tuscanred'Can clean can fix things... Do you really think he would do these if he was loaded ? More than likely he would get in the hot tradie to do it for him and then give you the flick after he found out you bedded the tradie after the work was completed. ET xox my husband is most of those things, but thats not my list. I made that list up off the top of my head. And its not as you see by other posts the same as every womans wish list. I dont have one and my husband can and does fix everything I only get the tradie in when he not home, to fix me up My most important is a person that cares about me, and I care about I do like money as I like to travel and do my art, and because of my years of work and his years of work we are now able to do that. I would not have a relationship with a guy with no means of support, I have lived on the streets and been poor so its not something I want to do again. So yes material things are important to me. But they are not my life. My husband is x army xfireman and now in a job thats the same kind of deal so he is that guy that women go for. I guess. The strong silent, danger man in uniform type. but its not enough for me, I need more, so yes I am like many women I want to much. At this point in my life, I need to think about that, as to much of anything is not good for the soul. Rhp has given me a great chance to find my sexuality again, and I have enjoyed most of my experiences I have grown, I think from a kid in the candy shop to a narrow down of what suits me, and to much candy like I said is not always a good thing. If I was looking for a relationship, I have always said it would never be from rhp I am a realist, I would go down to the old folks home and pick on a guy my own age.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' I thought that what I wanted was a partner.A man that I could spend the rest of my life with.Nearly four years later I have completely changed my mind.I am no longer looking for that,I am happy if I find a few friends along the way but I no longer seek that which does not exist for me. I think that I am very content being alone,answering to nobody but me.Perhaps this is because pair bonding is no longer a biological imperative for me.I was a single parent and became used to depending on nobody but me. There are indeed many different permutations of relationship,being part of a couple is only one. Many single people have been emotionally damaged by their experience of marriage,many are sad and bitter.I doubt that it is possible for them to recover enough to even want to try and find another man or woman to spend more than a nano second with. It is a lovely fantasy to think that there is someone for everyone,the truth is there are usually just a few maybes and almosts.....with a few exceptions. The divorce rate in this country is high,the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher.Perhaps singledom is the new fashion,particularly for those of us who no longer need to find a mate for that biological imperative. Afteral there is nothing wrong with fun and friendship. I think everyone wants someone to enfold them at night, and whisper to them sex or no sex, good days and bad days Its ok kiddo, I am with you
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am just like the Queen,I love to SLEEP alone...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is'nt that why over half ppl here , are here . ? Either you or your ex never came up to each's expectations' so should'nt you learn from the things you struggled with all those years.. ? I read some of the ' I want ' comments above and come to the conclusion some ppl just never learn . Yes, we all have things we would like in a potential bed partner, I'm no different, but setting the bar too high is just too unrealistic. If you find yourself by yourself, dont be surprised....least til your expectations become more realistic.... Just my observation... Jay...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Acknowledged TR..Don't have to tell you - Bring a lot to the table.... and there's going to be a lot to deal with.
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' I think if people aren't willing to compromise or sacrifice anything at all, they perhaps want too much. But equally there's a fine line between being realistic, and 'settling'. No-one really wants to settle. When people insist on perfection they're often let down so it helps to be clear about must-haves v nice-to-haves. Like a few people have said, I have no interest in a man for his material successes. I'm attracted to a man with a good work ethic and a willingness to do what it takes to keep a roof over his head and food on the table, but beyond that the make of his care or brand of his jeans doesn't matter a great deal to me. A little, but not much in the grand scheme of things. I'm much more interested in his heart, mind and spirit, and yes, his body. My biggest frustration is that I'm only really attracted to a particular body type and look, and annoyingly, that look doesn't often come packaged with the heart, mind and spirit I seek. And when it does, phwoar!, but equally annoyingly that kind of guy isn't often looking for me (given I don't come with the whole package either). So, I often ponder whether I want too much. Or whether I need to compromise. Or settle for less. So far I'm undecided Remember, a body can be shaped, within limits, to match what you like. ET xox
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RHP User
12 years ago
Biologically speaking I no longer need a partner to have a family nor do I want to get married again. Prefer not share a home, finances or raising children. I say this at this point in time but who knows I might be willing to comprise on one or two of those in the future. I'd like to meet a man my own age and as quoted earlier a lot of men my age are looking for younger ladies. Young men are looking for a older woman. That doesn't work as the younger guys need or want to at some point become a family man. My wants are the same want to share my life with someone special without it being 100% of the time. I feel that when you give yourself and your time a 100% u lose what makes you the person you are. So in the future I want to retain what makes me who I am and share some of that with someone who doesn't want me to give it all up for there needs only.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think that, by and large, many of the women on this site have DRASTICALLY out-of-kilter expectations and self-awareness, which is fed by the basic supply-and-demand economics of the male/female ratio on the site, and the essentially never-ending smorgasbord of people that all the women here have access to.Some of the profiles I read of women here are nothing short of 'If you are not that main guy from the Twilight novels, then you need not apply'... others bring out the old 'must connect with my mind before connecting with my body' (or the like), yet all the 'friends' are of ripped washboards... I realise this does sound exactly like sour grapes, I assure you it isn't, I understand and happily endorse this phenomena, it is simply due to the supply/demand I mentioned earlier, but the underlying sentiment of say one thing and actually do, or be attracted by another is telling - the women don't know what they really want, or they do, but don't feel brave enough to say it. Those that *are* brave enough tend to set the bar so impossibly high that you sort of have to wonder how many Rhodes scholar/underwear models are in fact active on the site.This is all well and good for the mostly fantasy-land of this site which promotes and enables easily-accessible, no-strings, 'instant' sexual encounters, but how much of this false economy is bleeding over into people's real-world expectations?I would argue a significant amount - not just on this site, but also on other 'more reputable' (read: less focused on boning) sites where there is a cavalcade of people to meet and have relationships with, so much so that people are finding it increasingly difficult to get away from this relationship consumerism.Anyway, just some thoughts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting karynb When it comes to relationships i have high standards!In fact when i seperated from my husband last year i sat down and wrote a list.I got very very clear on the characteristics and values i wanted in my next partner.Not having a go at you by any stretchof the imagination just your post highlights a point I wanted to make. You say that there were things you have/ wanted to change for your next relationship, would it not also be reasonable for blokes to also want to change things??? and as such why is it that women (yes in general & not pointed at you karynb) are allowed to change but women dont afford us blokes the same concession?? we are all evolving human beings who strive not to repeat mistakes of our pasts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not wanting too much, but knowing what you want .. Some chicks want the bloke to be loaded, but don't want to live with the consequences of what comes with that.. I worked my ring out 12 - 14 hours a day for years.. We had everything we wanted and more, except quality time together, until finally the marriage broke down.. and I've spoken to other chicks that will say their men spend too much time at work.. They have everything they want appart from their man being around.. It seems to be the same way in reverse too.. The bloke doesn't work much and is always there and their misses are usually complaining that they're always broke, and blames the husband.. I think a lot of chicks aren't realistic about what they want and what side affects come with it.. This is only my opinion of course, and it obviously isn't the case for everyone, but I think some women aren't realistic about what they want because they're not prepared to give up anything at all to get it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'innerwest123'I think that, by and large, many of the women on this site have DRASTICALLY out-of-kilter expectations and self-awareness, which is fed by the basic supply-and-demand economics of the male/female ratio on the site, and the essentially never-ending smorgasbord of people that all the women here have access to. Some of the profiles I read of women here are nothing short of 'If you are not that main guy from the Twilight novels, then you need not apply'... others bring out the old 'must connect with my mind before connecting with my body' (or the like), yet all the 'friends' are of ripped washboards... I had no idea, as I never read women's profiles unless they post on the forums. Must go and read a couple, need a good laugh today.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are we still talking about men (or women) we want a serious relationship with, or the ones we are looking for on here for NSA fun? Do we have the same high standards for both? Or are we perhaps confusing the two?
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RHP User
12 years ago
no..I think a lot of men need to try harder...a quick fuck and out to watch footy with the mates..,not on. Making love or having a fuck buddy...both deserve guys to try harder. Personally in bed I little to 'foreplay' woman to orgasm..then I get to do 'my' thing.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Im actually going to paste this into a post in its own right i think - id like to see some responses...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Think your on the money son.. Found myself nodding with most you had to say and I hope some of the females who live in this land of fantasy took note also..I honestly believe a great chunk of females here ' are here for nothing more but the glory of having guys give them attention they would otherwise not get in the real world... Im sure they get off on rejecting guys for the hell of it.. when they never ever had any intentions of meeting anyone anyway.. ?? The power of the puss as they say...
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RHP User
12 years ago
One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it. Lately I have noticed a trend. The Bod Modification thread, the Relationship Economics thread (where I was crucified and thank you all so much) and now this.... and I gotta say, TR, you have pretty much listed off every reason I do not and categorically cannot trust a woman. Because they are by and in large, their own worst enemies, and they do only have themselves to blame. They are the reason you have misogynists in the world. Nice guys who were bent too far over the other way, for women who just used them. With great physical beauty comes great resonsibility to set a good example and not be a total bitch. Now, look at the stats. The number of single people is almost on par with the number of people in "relationships" that said, people who choose to remain single generally end up short-changed economically, particularly the way our government is encouraging all this rampant and indiscriminate breeding. Further, there could be a direct correlation and perhaps even a causal link between the number of divorces versus the number of men who choose asian brides, perceptibly because australian women aren't exactly the nicest girls on the block, perhaps they want too much, perhaps they have too many tickets on themselves, an entitlement mentality or a horrible nasal accent that would drive a man to murder. Personally I find Canadian girls to be so much nicer, and sweeter. Now, consider this. If you want it all, and are not willing to compromise, if you instead would rather one different man to fulfil every different need, and each one of these men were to over a period of time, forget you or replace you, you would feel redundant and hurt and used, yet if you did it to them, you would be a textbook sociopath on par with Karla Homolka because you would be admitting to yourself and to them that you were a cold,calculating psychological man-basher who would in turn be guilty of breeding and sewing the seeds of a pervasive mysogny that you are so radically opposed to by nature. See the irony? Further - if you need X/Y/Z in a partner, and aren't willing to compromise on any of it, I believe thats called "entitlement mentality" and that said, you deserve whatever the fuck you get which is probably nothing because if a man could afford to be that shallow he wouldn't be interested in you in the first place because of his unwillingness to compromise on X/Y/Z which, if I'm to understand this, is exactly what you would do and in fact are proposing to do to him, ten times over or simply when you get bored of him or no longer see him as useful or easy to manipulate. Sociopathic or what? And if you need XYZ in a partner to be happy, then perhaps more self-analysis is needed. If you need someone to be happy perhaps you are just a weak, codependent, manipulative bitch with self esteem issues who likes to hold it over people or you're tryig to make up for certain psychological or physical features that you either lack or dislike about yourself. This isn't aimed at anyone personally. I'm just saying.... TR has a damn good point. Look in the mirror and tell yourself " I don''t have a serious psychological problem...." and if you can say it with a straight face, and mean it, then you pass.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Nick_Wilde' One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it. Lately I have noticed a trend. The Bod Modification thread, the Relationship Economics thread (where I was crucified and thank you all so much) and now this.... and I gotta say, TR, you have pretty much listed off every reason I do not and categorically cannot trust a woman. Because they are by and in large, their own worst enemies, and they do only have themselves to blame. They are the reason you have misogynists in the world. Nice guys who were bent too far over the other way, for women who just used them. With great physical beauty comes great resonsibility to set a good example and not be a total bitch. Now, look at the stats. The number of single people is almost on par with the number of people in "relationships" that said, people who choose to remain single generally end up short-changed economically, particularly the way our government is encouraging all this rampant and indiscriminate breeding. Further, there could be a direct correlation and perhaps even a causal link between the number of divorces versus the number of men who choose asian brides, perceptibly because australian women aren't exactly the nicest girls on the block, perhaps they want too much, perhaps they have too many tickets on themselves, an entitlement mentality or a horrible nasal accent that would drive a man to murder. Personally I find Canadian girls to be so much nicer, and sweeter. Now, consider this. If you want it all, and are not willing to compromise, if you instead would rather one different man to fulfil every different need, and each one of these men were to over a period of time, forget you or replace you, you would feel redundant and hurt and used, yet if you did it to them, you would be a textbook sociopath on par with Karla Homolka because you would be admitting to yourself and to them that you were a cold,calculating psychological man-basher who would in turn be guilty of breeding and sewing the seeds of a pervasive mysogny that you are so radically opposed to by nature. See the irony? Further - if you need X/Y/Z in a partner, and aren't willing to compromise on any of it, I believe thats called "entitlement mentality" and that said, you deserve whatever the fuck you get which is probably nothing because if a man could afford to be that shallow he wouldn't be interested in you in the first place because of his unwillingness to compromise on X/Y/Z which, if I'm to understand this, is exactly what you would do and in fact are proposing to do to him, ten times over or simply when you get bored of him or no longer see him as useful or easy to manipulate. Sociopathic or what? And if you need XYZ in a partner to be happy, then perhaps more self-analysis is needed. If you need someone to be happy perhaps you are just a weak, codependent, manipulative bitch with self esteem issues who likes to hold it over people or you're tryig to make up for certain psychological or physical features that you either lack or dislike about yourself. This isn't aimed at anyone personally. I'm just saying.... TR has a damn good point. Look in the mirror and tell yourself " I don''t have a serious psychological problem...." and if you can say it with a straight face, and mean it, then you pass.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My view on this is. Once we found that perfect person that tick everything on the list. If there is no compromise for changing taste and growth. Things soon look greener on the other side of the fence.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am not and have never been looking for a single person to be my partner for life. I've never been married and have been on RHP for years, I do get approached in the street by guys and in clubs. I love my life and the fabulous friends I have made over the years through this site and other similar sites, some of these friends I only see occasionally others I see regularly, many have supported me through hard times and glad times. I love all of them in different ways. I am an individual and have found my personal requirements are met through sites like this one and the fabulous people I meet. I certainly don't use the site as a type of "psychological surgery" as I am happy with myself and as I tell friends who are going through break ups it is important to know yourself and what you want before you start out into the dating jungle again so that you don't make the same mistakes again.Whew! Hope everyone finds what they are looking for on this site!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just don't be surprised if you don't get it. All men are human and are bound to failure in one way or the other. As are all women. As far as I'm concerned, compromise is a certainty with any relationship, NSA or long term. It's always a 2 way street.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Between the OP, innerwest123 and Nick Wilde, I'm speechless.I feel like there is a huge reality bubble between who and what people say they want and who they actually screw.And on a sex site ripped washboards rule. Not in the forums where the much admired "just good friends" hang but between the sheets at the end of the day.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am seriously turned off by six-packs, and I cannot possibly be the only one?
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RHP User
12 years ago
We all, as individuals, decide if we want/need to make changes. No one else can make us change. The sad fact is sometimes we outgrow our partner, they are unable or unwilling to change. I know my post may have sounded a little arrogant, but it's more a reflection that i entered into a life long partnership without knowing what was important to me in a lifetime partner, my fault, not his. I was very young and the concept of making conscious decisions about what i wanted in a partner hadn't occurred to me! It's my determination that this not happen again that had me write my list. Quoting 'Darwin_Bread' Quoting karynb When it comes to relationships i have high standards!In fact when i seperated from my husband last year i sat down and wrote a list.I got very very clear on the characteristics and values i wanted in my next partner. Not having a go at you by any stretchof the imagination just your post highlights a point I wanted to make. You say that there were things you have/ wanted to change for your next relationship, would it not also be reasonable for blokes to also want to change things??? and as such why is it that women (yes in general & not pointed at you karynb) are allowed to change but women dont afford us blokes the same concession?? we are all evolving human beings who strive not to repeat mistakes of our pasts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nick, i appreciate that at your age you can only come to the table with at most 10 or 11 years worth of experience, even assuming that you have been in the one relationship for all of those years, you still have not experienced the heartbreak that spending half your life with someone, to find that you've grown so far apart there is no going back, feels like. Come back in 15 years my friend, and we will discuss this as two people who have similar experiences can do. I don't have an entitlement attitude, i am just very clear on what's important to me, in a lifetime partner. I think in the long run that will save both, he and I, pain. I'm not in the least shallow either, in fact if anything i think far too deeply about most things, but then you have no idea what's on my list. Most of that list is not relevant to RHP, because i'm not actively looking for a partner here (not to say i haven't met some gorgeous men here who could be partnership material) The fact remains that most people, male or female, will have sex with someone who they wouldn't consider as partner material and that's the beauty of sites like RHP. Further - if you need X/Y/Z in a partner, and aren't willing to compromise on any of it, I believe thats called "entitlement mentality" and that said, you deserve whatever the fuck you get which is probably nothing because if a man could afford to be that shallow he wouldn't be interested in you in the first place because of his unwillingness to compromise on X/Y/Z which, if I'm to understand this, is exactly what you would do and in fact are proposing to do to him, ten times over or simply when you get bored of him or no longer see him as useful or easy to manipulate. Sociopathic or what?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think the difference between who we will have sex with and who we would consider a relationship with is perfectly understandable. For most people here, RHP is about sex. I'd happily have sex with a single 40 something year old with no kids, who spends 4 hours a day at the gym, acts like peter pan and splashes his cash around.......but there is no way i'd consider a relationship with him. Quoting '50zkool' Between the OP, innerwest123 and Nick Wilde, I'm speechless. I feel like there is a huge reality bubble between who and what people say they want and who they actually screw. And on a sex site ripped washboards rule. Not in the forums where the much admired "just good friends" hang but between the sheets at the end of the day.
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RHP User
12 years ago
For me is when I get asked by a date how much is in my bank account or what do I drive...If I'm being judged on such things instead of who I am then forget it. Once I had a date tell me if we were to get serious that my wage would be to support the home and kids and hers to spend as she sees fit. I couldn't stop laughing...has anyone else had that?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Run Forest Run, Seriously, thank them for showing you something about themself....and move on quickly! Quoting 'dickfullalove' For me is when I get asked by a date how much is in my bank account or what do I drive...If I'm being judged on such things instead of who I am then forget it. Once I had a date tell me if we were to get serious that my wage would be to support the home and kids and hers to spend as she sees fit. I couldn't stop laughing...has anyone else had that?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
we don't set our standards high enough....not even close to...most will settle for 'close enough' or 'good enough'.... the reality is tho, that those who do dream of lives with partners they see as ideal...do nothing...or very little, to make themselves attractive enough that mr or ms perfect actually notices them.... you cant entice a rich or beautiful partner, unless you actually present yourself to them, in a way that catches their eye, and their heart........ simple logic...so gals, you want 'mr perfect'? go for it! set the bar as high as you possibly can, whether that be for play...or relationship..... just do the same in return.... be what he's looking for...and guys? be the man you dream gal is seeking, or you wont ever stand a chance..........
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree with you about the 6 pact. I like average to athletic looking men. The overly muscly dudes don't do anything for me ... Although I love muscly strong arms. Yum!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I agree with you about the 6 pact. That sounds like a private party I'd attend!
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