M49 F45
Does NSA have to be so cold ?
March 10 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
You want feed back? That is a little odd don't you think? If someone contacts you again that means they are keen, what else do you want?
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RHP User
11 years ago
That probably sounded cold! Sorry. I don't think it has anything to do with NSA, it's just that some people don't like talking about it or dissecting their sex life. Try getting anything out of some guys...... like getting blood out of a stone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I kinda like to have a chat first, maybe a dinner with some teasing and flirting and then the other fun bits. I firmly believe if you stimulate the mind first, the resultant occurrences are usually far better. Definitely not into cold wham bam bye :)
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Choose carefully. The wiser your choices, the better the experiences. DG
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justfforfun
11 years ago
Agree there meeka, if they wanna cum back it should be enough. You should be yourselves not what others want unless it's bdsm master sub - Posted from rhpmobile
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
They satisfied customers who return for more speak more than any survey could, and that word of mouth from these customers is better than any advertisement. But seriously, in the middle of the action are you wondering what they are thinking about you or more engaged in making it as enjoyable for them as you can ? Maybe less thinking and more doing and feeling might be the answer you are seeking ? ET xox
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
In your profile under the headings Physical & Lifestyle its all Ask Me. Perhaps those who you have met have seen this & wish to divulge the same amount of info? Give & one shall receive.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your profile name suggests otherwise. *Confusing* Best of luck to you though!
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RHP User
11 years ago
No Promiscous_Cpl you are by no means being oversensitive and I personally share you sentiments. Hubby and I have been having the same conversation just the other night, everything you say is what we have discussed. I hate the thought that we are no more than just a "fcuk" to other people, like you the connection is important and finding a couple you can hold an intelligible conversation with, even better! Our experiences have been positive and couples and singles we have played with we have remained in touch with. We are just fortunate to have met such wonderful and lovely people who actually care. We have said ourselves that the minute we show lack of respect for others or lack the courtesy to say a thank you - then it's time to hang up our hat (or is it my bra?). I agree there are some cold hearted people out there, who think newbies like ourselves are plain ignorant at times and should know better for asking questions to things we are only just getting our heads around. I agree with time comes more experience but I'm happy to say what you are discussing is natural and NO you are not being oversensitive IMO.
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gazpacho
11 years ago
I reckon it's fair that peeps don't often talk much about what has been done, as lovers, but would rather focus on the next event with you. Yeah, yeah, it was a great time, let's meet again! Brilliant. What more do you want to say? Why is there a need for further jibber jabber, I often wonder? Do you seek self assurance? Surely you both (i.e. you and your partner) know whether you enjoyed it or not and that is the most important objective, yeah? I really don't enjoy post mortems... it's like I've taken a test and waiting for the results... nope. Next.. HugsGazpacho
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gazpacho
11 years ago
What do you like doing? That's a difficult quesiotn. I mean, can I say "everything?". If you are talking about discussing the future prospective playtime, I can see how you might get short responses. Lots of time wasters ask the same question. They're sitting there tossing off or something while you provide a few details about what you like to do. I don't have a list... so I usually say "everything. You name it." Yeah, I know that's a short answer to the "what do you like?" question. I think the question is for the most part, a newbie question. HugsGazpacho
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rupamohan
11 years ago
Yes no feedback can feel cold but we don't expect communication necessarily have to be extensively verbal. For many an offer to re-play is feedback enough. We do give verbal feedback only when asked for, but it is short and to the point. If sex talk and detailed verbal feedback is important to you and you are not getting it. You can mention this in your profile. This may help?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Okay, You see this seems to be an issue of communication vs wants vs feelings ext. Go to Males Ask, within the forum. Click onto Dilemma, Ladies Please Help and read through. Regardless whether it's a couple, lady, man the situation will be similar Gaz and Hot Meeka have listed some awesome points there as well as many others. Have fun with it, expect nothing and be safe. Koz.
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RHP User
11 years ago
will you end up cold and distant as you keep on swinging?.....not want to engage in any interaction outside of the bedroom or wherever?....perhaps the couples you are talking about are not looking for more than the physical,perhaps they like their cool bubble.....if you are looking for friends as well as sex buddies make that clear.....it seems to me that if you are warm and fuzzy people now,that won't change unless you become jaded and perhaps that would be an indicator to stop xx Q
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you also expect these other couples to constantly tell you how beautiful you are, spoon you all night, make you breakfast in the morning, and drive you home? You have your primary relationship for all the affection and talk stuff. Between the two of you, you can do a post-mortem of every sexual encounter to your heart's content. Not everyone wants to do that. If other couples are asking you for repeat business, that indicates that they had fun the last time. Why do you need more.
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RHP User
11 years ago
So the general consensus is that we’re asking too much and we’re being over sensitive, so in time we’ll become emotionless and care about nothing but the next F**k ?Perhaps then we need to be clear and careful about whom we play with. NSA but I guess as the film says, ‘Friends with benefits’. Thank you all I'll try harder not to care too much.
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N4November
11 years ago
My advice is to change your handle. Promiscuious does not suggest to me that you are discerning, sensitive or tender. I do think you are over thinking everything and perhaps you need to explore your motives for getting into the scene in the first place. Your comments do smack of you wanting to fill a void or deficiency in your life and in the context of swinging, something you are not getting or having fulfilled by your partner. Wanting feedback or confirmation by others isn't disrespect when 'they' don't meet your expectations. In other words, don't look outwards when the questions are directed straight back at you. We have played with couples with issues and agendas and it is not what we want for longterm lovers. Other people aren't there to fix us or vice versa lol! My advice would be to drop out of the scene for a while and focus your attention inwardly as a couple. Not until you have explored all the possibilities there should you put yourselves out there again. If you can't be honest and authentic between yourselves, you won't be with others and that WILL result in you becoming disappointed and jaded. - Posted from rhpmobile
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N4November
11 years ago
And I did forget to say that if people say NSA in their profile then don't go there!!! NSA is completely OK but for many people - they just dont understand it or can actually do it! And that's OK too :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Promiscuous_Cpl, I think that you need to remember that first and foremost is that your swinging choices are your personal journey as a couple. You seek what you want and want what you seek - and that's okay. But not every couple will have the same wants as you. For example, we have long-term lovers, one of whom absolutely cannot de-brief - and that's okay. We have come to trust in the nature of the 'relationship'. Mr and I de-brief between us after every play date - it's part of our fun and helps keep our communication clear and honest and the rest is just whatever it is. When we choose play mates, we look for people we have similar 'wants' with. Sometimes, it goes well and others not so much! But broadly speaking, we have gotten it right. It's part and parcel of this very interesting lifestyle we lead. My genuine advice to you is to be very clear about what it is you are looking for and be open minded that you probably won't get it all, all of the time. You should walk away from every experience (even the bad ones) taking something away that you benefit from, even if it's a lesson to help prevent you making a similar mistake. Anyway, just my thoughts and good luck finding what you're looking for. Kisses, Mrs - Posted from rhpmobile
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rupamohan
11 years ago
The choice is yours. You want to become insensitive or you want to make it clear what you expect or you want to value every experience. Hope you get more out of it. Many members believe their needs are same as most others, as a result they feel no need to make it clearly in the profile, what they are after. This is not always true. NSA interpretation are quite diverse..from wham bam to living in each other pockets and anywhere in between. If most common interpretation doesn't meet my needs I will NOT change my needs. I will make it clear what exactly I expect, in my profile.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Prom_Cpl, I read your reply to the comments with a little sadness... Why should you change what you want out of experiences? It is your experience as much as it is anyone elses. You're lucky you know what you want/need, because lots of people burn themselves trying to work it out. I also read your screen name (jezuz, did I just write screen name... 'you've got mail')... I read your nickname differently to others. To me, it says that you picked something you thought was a bit naughty and wicked. I am guessing, presuming, that in your world, what you're doing already is QUITE out there and you would be thought of as promiscuous. Well, good on you and don't worry if you're not promiscuous by the so-called standards here (you're probably getting more sex than most, anyhow). And I don't necessarily assume you aren't getting love (or something) at home - if you need the people, whoever they are, who have been all over and inside your body to take some care of your emotions and connect with you, that might have nothing to do with how much your hubby can or does do that. We all interact differently. Good luck! ps. or you may have to contradict me entirely...
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RHP User
11 years ago
We had our first couple not long ago and we were very nervous. It was nice to talk about it after the event. As long as it does not get to personal. It is still NSA meets
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chevtrek
11 years ago
Its so simple2 types you will meet.Those who just want some spice and not get to involvedor ther lives are to busy with children and work.Those that don't maind being casual friends and thoseare the ones who will give feedback.So don't stress and enjoy the fun.
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