M59
Does the gold in the wedding band cause loss of female libido
September 13 2008
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Capricorn, what a brilliant line, made me laugh, well done. Oh and yes it does, its called turning into a family, your no longer a couple. Some wives/husbands, even become responsible and the little crazy things disappear. I have no idea how to fix it, thats why I'm single lol, I tried all sorts of things, so I thought some worked some didnt. Its a full time job and if your good at it the rewards are terrific. You do tend to throw your arms up in the air sometimes and wonder just what the hell will work. We started swinging and she ended up in another play ground, scratch that one off the list. Next time i will start with that and find a relationship. Your not the only one mate and I'm sorry i cant help you, but at least your concerned enough to ask the question. Good luck PD
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RHP User
16 years ago
mate your not the only one.... i havent got kids and still get anxious..... only get it maybe once a month if im lucky... dont know why.... tried the talking about it bit... doesnt work... next step is try here or elsewhere on the net... next step is out and about... but i cant be fugged these days.... i look at this site as an option..... havent had successbut havent tried real hard either.... once again, cant be bothered... or maybe its cause i cant bring myself round to being with someone else... not sure.... all it comes down to is if your married to the one you love doesnt necesarily mean you are gunna have sex with that love and that love only for the rest of the time your together.... yes she may be the one you love but... in all honesty evreyone has needs wether it be male or female and if those needs are not met at home then they will be met elsewhere.... to some this may be a sad state of your marriage but untill they are in the same pair of shoes then they will not know.... maybe they will never know or understand... who cares... they may have different needs....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Because looking for new female company is easier than trying to fix the relationship you share with your wife. Smart choice.
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RHP User
16 years ago
This sounded so similar, I thought I'd written it. We are both very busy people and, like yourself, I help out around the house any way that I can - be it shopping, cleaning, cooking etc. However at the end of it, my other half rarely finds herself in the mood. What we've done is that we have actually sat down several times and talked very openly and honestly about it and the frustration that it causes on both sided. There is no doubt that we are both still in love with each other, however the sexual part of our relationship has diminished significantly to the point where my wife actually said at this point she would be comfortable with me getting sex (as long as that was all it was) elsewhere. Floored me, as it certainly wasn't what I expected. In the end, I can't say I understand how she feels, nor can she say she knows how I feel. We just need to find a happy medium that keeps our relationship secure and removes any frustrations.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Been there done that to the point ending up a crabby bastard. Cause kids, stress etc etc. I left 10 years too late in hindsite. I got to the point of 2 sex appointments a week, tues and friday ar 9.15 am for 15 minutes to 'shut me up'. There was also no love and I wasnt allowed to spoon her. Over 6 years ago I left and its the best thing I ever did. I now get on better with the X and the kids and I am a happy man. And I also have a future with many more new and exciting escapades into the sexual world. I look back and wonder what I missed...god I was so horny then. But is there a flipside? Do you romance her, take her out, treat her like a sexy woman and so on? Do something daring. Talk to her, lay it on the line and resolve it. Cheating is not the go. Be honest with her but resolve it or you will end up bitter and lose. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yes Capricorn1961, I think that EVERYONE in a long term relationship such as your's has had their fair share of woes. There is not a single guy that I have met in my life that has never thought this way at times, some more than others. I don't condone it, but know where you are coming from. Open communication is the best way and if that doesn't work and you are not happy and vice versa you should probably end the relationship. It would be better for both you, your wife and your kids. Maybe your wife deep down isn't happy with you either?? You should talk rather than cheat on her, you're only going to hurt everyone involved, much more than if you were to end it. You may be the one that gets hurt the most too, trust from your kids is the most important thing that comes to mind, how would they feel if they found out you cheated on their mother? B-Swan. Give the man a break, from what I've seen and read of you you're hardly an advocate for a steady relationship and the man has been married 13yrs! Funny how some people form an opinion on something they know nothing about and not realising that they are perfect! Offer advice not criticism, yet to see a decent answer come from you.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mars n Venus has some good points there. After 2 failed marriages from cheating husbands, and wasnt due to lack of sex either, my third partner of 7 yrs was the opposite. I left a loveless relationship and joined RHP. But i did it the right way and never cheated. Having many kids over the yrs and mortgages, businesses, and kids commitments does take its toll. I think were in the times were everything has to be perfect. Im certainly guilty of that. My house looks like a show home...Mrs house and garden i was called haha. But was i happy...NO. The non existence of my partners attention lead me to spend more and more time on the house and kids. But in saying that i never made any attempt to woo him either. I resented his lack of involvement, so i didnt try either. I had fallen outta love with him. In the end we were just living together for the kids. I was so depressed, i would be physically sick. So i decided to end the hell i was in. There was no sex for yrs..not kidding...secretly i wanted a man to come thru the door and fuck me stupid. Having now had 3 relationships and 6 kids..i realised things had to change. I met Grav ...probably the best thing i have done ..besides having my kids. My house still is neat and clean but i limit my self to how much time i spend on it. The rest of the time i spend with the kids, doing things that i want to do, and mostly time with Grav and our new bubs. Its true, we do have sex everyday. Communication is the key...we certainly talk for hours about any thing and everything. We keep it honest and open. We discuss where we have gone wrong and were things could change. You need to do this regular or in the end you both just end up losing it. As a cpl we spend as much time together as we can..even if its a quickie in the bedroom ....get a lock on ya door. I dont doubt you help capricorn..i must say my first 2 hubbys were great around the house too. I ask you to ask yourself a few questions though. When you look at your wife ..do you love everything about her?..apart from the lack of sex. Are you happy with your family life? Where do you see yourself in another 10 yrs? Do you like yourself? I asked myself the same questions....i was honest with myself. Only you know the answers. 13 yrs is along time these days to end it all without trying. Think really hard before cheating on your wife. Or walk away with respect, knowing that you tried to work on your marriage. It was the thought of another 10 yrs that made up my mind to leave. I wish you well capricorn, Leelee xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well you men dont worry about helping with the house work, always put of today what you can do tomorrow is my motto. If only you realised how far a shoulder massage a foot massage a full body massage will get you. Once you have calmed the beast you will be amaized at what you get in return and I dont mean to expect it straight after the first massage, but once she sees you are giving her even 10 minutes of quality relaxing time on a regular basis im sure your luck may change when you least expect it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi pal Good luck with your thoughts here I only have a few points to say, which are: If you found out she had had an affair, how would you feel? That is how she would be if she found out on you? Don't think about the best case scenario here (ie maybe getting laid a few times and getting away with it), think of the worst case - losing everything and inevitably your self respect. Keep trying pal, the fact that you rasied this shows you care and also one thing that I know works for a fact...lick her pussy...I'm serious!! She won't push you away quickly if you do that, I'm sure she'll return the favour - follow that with a neck rub and you're on your way! Hope it helps!
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hotandhornyforu
16 years ago
u need to spice things up with ur wife! even tho u do help out she is still tired, its a big job being a wife and mother! have u eva found that earlier in the day she hints she wants it but by the time you get to bed she falls asleepp....... after having my second child i went thru a similar thing.. we still did it a couple times a week so it didnt die but comparing that to a couple times a day which it was b4 we had kids then its bad! now we r like a couple of young root rats again! our sex life is better then eva! which we r both happy about! i dunno how to help u , but u gotta make her want it... make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and spice things up hun! cant think of wot else to say but guys sumtimes forget that its not all about them...
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RHP User
16 years ago
im yet to read a post that warrents a serious answer read his post, he's looking for validation of his desire to cheat on his wife not everyone has to read posts and answer in a supportive way ya know, some ppl can openly disagree or disapprove or even cast criticm or sarcasm and fuck me someone's gotta say it sometimes short sharp n sweet and hey i never claimed to be a poster child, u wanna rip me to shreds go ahead, like i give a damn :P
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RHP User
16 years ago
What an interesting topic ................ What happens when the the gender is reversed , how common is it for the male of the partnership to be low on libido ? , it is cruel that we (males and females ) hit our sexual peak at different times in our lives, and i have tried to assist and motivate by various means, (lingerie, time without the kids , being spontanious, even tried the old blow job on the couch trick to no avail) , i think it is these times when despite our best efforts , nothing seems to help , when these types of websites have their place,how the hell can one person fullfill your each and every sexual need for your entire married life, it has got me buggered !!! yes i am opening myself up to being told off , but i thought this was as good a forum as any to tell my story. This is an adult site after all , at least i hope we can be adults about this ..........not here to be judged , just putting my story out there. my 2 cents worth tatts2 xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
never answered any thing on forum before but this one got me FOREPLAY when u were dating there was always touching and talking but now if like most marriages the foreplay has stopped and i want sex isnt foreplay lol try talking and touching ect long before the bedromm its great that u help out and that should mean a lot. mind u when kids leave home the fun starts again mmmmm recycled teenagers lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
My partner has a low to no libido. After bitching about it for years we finally talked good and proper, and now have a completely open marriage. The only piece of advice I ever have to give is to read a book called Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Changed my life, and that of many people I know. Not everyone's cup of tea, but if you're a man who is genuinely interested in understanding the dynamics of sexual attraction and sustaining it in a long term relationship ... read away!
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RHP User
16 years ago
yes the gold in the band does that its supposed to work on men to, but we have better will power, we have faint memories of single life and naked woman, woman also invented beer. thats why its cheap and you can drink as much as you like...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't know why people think being married means you can drop the effort. Seriously, if you want to hang on to your partner you still got to put in the work, like when you're dating. What do you think is going to happen? Cross your legs, or use the snapper as a device to get what you want, and he'll look someplace easier. Same gig for blokes too of course, this works both ways, except women are really sneaky underhanded bitches. :) Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
desperate for conversation? lacking attention? ............ heres a solution...drag a forum topic out from the archives....maybe 2008, and give it an airing.........
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nah, All the current topics are boring anyway Mike. But thanks for contributing your positive comments. :P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Watch your mouth bitches, that's my man you're talking to
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well DGT you are welcome to boink Mike's arse for all you are worth, I am sure he deserves it. Krissy and I will go suck on Stalky's spuds, roll those balls around in my mouth, ... make some mash potato. LOL. xxMeeks
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RHP User
13 years ago
Can I say to the OP's comment. Gold smold. Diamonds darling will open her legs.... Everybody knows that FFS.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh DGT I purchased some lovely cubic zirconias which will match your sparkling eyes... will that open your legs for me? xxMeeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
sparkle schmarkle you know I've only got eyes for on person tonight
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm a little flustered ^^^ throws this up there 'e'
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RHP User
13 years ago
E? Well yes that might help you through the night. But I could give you the best pearl necklace... will that open your legs do you think? xxDickhead04
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RHP User
13 years ago
the way to my paperheartcut oh and mine doesn't look like an oyster, but you can pearl me up juicy butt hey that rhymes . oh and Mike...I'm trusting that you actually do have a sense of humour but fuck!! I''ve been wrong before lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Humour pumour... I am sure the man will see the funny side of your fist. :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
...with or without enough rocks attacked to sink a small boat was the equivalent of sodium pentohal, you could find out the truth first well before you have signed away your life and sold your sports car to buy the damn ring. | "Let's get married...sure, the variety will go down (secretly thinking to one if you want to keep your jewels) but darling, the frequency will go up so much and we can do anything you can ever imagine together." | About a year later...you find out they lied about both. Variety goes flat-line and frequency...Santa comes more often. | Why can't we just stay friends, stay together and not ruin a perfectly good relationship with gold poisoning and shimmering sparklitis?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Am just getting a sniff of that side you speak of Peachiness ne'er mind we all have the bitch come out here n there, and yours does pack a punch. Kudos *lil bow* possibly misplaced on this occasion...but whatevs???
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RHP User
13 years ago
pokin my nose is all......i cant believe the ages of some of the topics he's diggn up....lol.... 2008?
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RHP User
13 years ago
There's the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffer- ring. . As to gold-oxide affecting anything more than a green smear on the finger, you're probably dreaming.
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RHP User
13 years ago
my comments would only be 'snide'...if that was my intent.....which it wasnt.... and um...dgt? wtf? lol....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Here is my take. 1. She loses interest because YOU stop putting in the effort. Now I know we all think we do a bang up job pleasing our women when the reality is , we don't!. The preperation and excitment needed to capture the elusive bird is much greater than seeing the same bird in a cage. This means we hunt far better than we upkeep. If you lazy fuckers can hunt new pussy then you have time to fix the old pussy! 2. After kids it can get hard. You drop so far on the priority list that you are below the poo in the nappy! That's when you have to work twice as hard to make her feel special and beautiful. So strange shit goes on in womens head after birth. Suck it up, be a man and shut the fuck up.
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RHP User
13 years ago
pmsl Mike.......I didnt want you to feel left out with everyone getting chased around here. God I would've paid good money to see your face
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RHP User
13 years ago
Lmfao Meeka. Your comment about diamonds is gold! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
i wear a pretty convincing 'poker' face.....theres not much that could ever remove the fun from life...or the smile from my melon...lol....
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RHP User
13 years ago
gettnjiggy said it....perfectly.... hit all the nails from all available angles... men do 'things' around the house for their wives.... that if they lived alone, they'd have to do anyway... yard, shopping, cooking etc are things you do because they need doing.... and not one of them is a reason any woman would feel they'd need to reward you with sex for ...doing stuff like 'looking after the kids' doesnt count....they are your kids too....cleaning the loo, or doing the laundry....doesnt count either.... doing 'things' should only ever be those she cannot do for herself...the things that are just about her...
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RHP User
13 years ago
NO.. it's the two words I DO... that lowers it
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi all... I've never posted a comment on rhp, but feel like I want to put my two cents worth in on this one - even though I know it will draw flack and plenty of criticism...! Totally agree with Capricorn, and am disappointed by the lack of understanding and judgemental attitudes of some of the people on here. After 10 years marriage, both working full-time, no kids, but with me doing most of the cooking, and sharing other chores like cleaning & gardening etc, along with all of the back massages, foot rubs, listening to her 'download' from her busy day, bringing her cups of tea each night, making sure that there is water by her bed in the evening, plenty of attention, two rounds of counselling, plenty of foreplay, and everything else suggested by the judgementals in here, our sex life is still almost non-existant. Perhaps instead of judging the men in these positions, please remember that it takes TWO people to make a successful relationship! From what I'm reading and have experienced, it appears that it's totally acceptable for the woman to forget about her partner once married and/or if kids turn up or not, and it's up to him to "try harder" to ensure that the relationship works. Give me a break! Since when is that acceptable? Both partners have work to do, both have stresses in their lives, so when is it the total domain of the woman to be unique in this area, and acceptable for her to forget about her partner and place the one important thing - their relationship - at the bottom of the priority list, with the response that he should simply work harder for it to be successful? We hear a lot about what the women want from their relationship and sex-life, but when do they stop to consider what their partner wants, instead of making them feel guilty about sex and using it as a strategic weapon in their relationships? How about a little more equality in the relationship, and a little less judgemental attitude towards people posting their experiences and opinions... For what it's worth...!
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RogueGeek
13 years ago
Been there. Done that.The male half knows full well what my priorities are. Children, then him. Why? Because I am responsible for them. I brought them here, it's my job to look after them until they can look after themselves. If I ever had to choose betweem my kids and my spouse, the kids win hand's down.That may sound harsh, but it's how I see it. And he knows that. And because he is an awesome, wonderful, loving, caring man whom I adore, he makes sure I never have to make the decision.As for sex life and libido... A woman's brain is restructured chemically and physically during pregnancy. Certain processes begin that dial down her libido after having a baby so that she wont go out and get pregnant immediately after. Different women react differently - some have a higher sex drive, some a lower, some the same. But chances are what they enjoy in the sack has changed a bit (and what they like elsewhere too). And these changes happen again for each pregnancy, and the woman may react differently each time.This is where communication tends to be useful. Once a woman has a child, she is a different woman. How about taking the time to find out what has changed and how she feels about it? Maybe she used to love chocolate fondue, and now the thought of it makes her retch... She might have a super-low libido, but she may also find that super frustrating and would like to try things to increase it. I remember having no sex drive, and IT PISSED ME OFF. I wanted sex! I wanted to enjoy sex! I wanted to lust after my husband to the point of ripping his clothes off him when he walked in the door (like when we were teenagers)... But there were so many things I had to address (mentally, emotionally, physically) to get back to that point.If you're feeling squeamish about cheating, then don't do it. If you're not happy with the way things are in your relationship, then do something about it.Cheers,MS(the female half)and PS - it freakin pisses me off when the male half does chores and then expects sex as a reward. Where's my reawrd for all the work I do??? i should be getting 4 hours of pussy-licking a day for all the chores I do! :P
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RogueGeek
13 years ago
Looks like I killed this thread...MS(the female half)
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