M41 F38
Does the ideal first date exist?
June 23 2014
Comments
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
it's great and pretty awesome to hear about "couples dating other couples" and that it's not just singles dating. :) Think I am going to like reading what other couples write. Does the ideal first date exist? Yep it sure does...it's true! I have had many beautiful experiences on 1st dates. From kisses in the rain to deep soul naked sex! It's a beautiful thing and feeling that 1st date with someone. I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof and get nervous pees. Oh..a date to me it's after the first meet of a coffee - more a get to know further. Foxy
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
One that ends with a 2nd, 3rd and 4th date...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Dating as a couple is the same as dating as singles.... But there's now 4 instead of 2 right?? Common interests with said couples are the goal; fun; a good balance of sexual and asexual conversation; an ability to take the piss and to have the piss taken. And.... No pressure :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
There are 1 connection that need to work with singles, connection meaning people liking, respecting, enjoying company not just sexual. Besides the established connections between the men and women from the individual couples (M1+F1/M2+F2) which needs to be strong there are 4 new ones which need to work. (M1 + F2/M1 + M2/ F1 + M2/F1 + F2). Even more complicated if you view each connection as being 2 mutual sparks that need to click...
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
Edit function please...
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LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
For us drinks is always perfect. We like to get to know a couple before taking them home. ;) Dinner is too long if you have nothing in common, or the sparks aren't there. Also just drinks on the first date means you can chat as a couple afterward without the other couple there. 4 way connection is hard to come by sometimes, and so being able to chat as a couple before committing to more dates is very helpful. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
That's how I see it too Mr&MrsParadise...completely Different dynamics from singles 1:1 dating. Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Agree with paradispair...couples dating is different and more complex than singles dating, given the different dynamics at play and the various connections/attractions thst need to be established. As long as you keep an open mind and don't hold on to any pre-conceived expectations you will be fine. At least you have your partner by your side so in that respect it is not as daunting as a single date. You are not alone and you have support! It is fun, exciting and interesting meeting other couples. Enjoy the experience and don't feel you have to rush into taking things further right way. It might take many first dates before you meet the couple that is right for you - and you for them. Hope it goes well. Enjoy! :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
We agree with what you guys are saying (@ Paradisepair). On the one hand there needs to be a strong connection between the members of the individual couples, on the other hand there need to be 4 connections between the members of both couples. A first date should be a fun experience for all parties involved. We're after a social connection as well, we feel that the mind is as important as the body (or even more important, if that makes any sense). We want to have a rich experience but we also want to other couple to have an equally rich experience.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That's what I said :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
As per usual no useful advice is offered,. Not sure if I can really help you either Jack N Jill but as a single person who has gone on dates with a few couples before here are my suggestions. My first ideal date Jack N Jill would be to meet some where sophisticated for drinks where you can all dress up in your sexy clothes. I wouldn't go out to dinner as eating isn't usually a sexy affair and you don't want to fill up on food anyway. Choose a place with sexy lighting and a romantic atmosphere perhaps where you can have an intimate conversation. It also depends. Are you a couple who would bonk on the first date? If yes, I would choose a place either close to a hotel or maybe close to a swingers club so that you could suggest that you all could move on the club or hotel if you feel that you are all hitting it off and there is some chemistry between you all. Often you would have asked beforehand people's expectations around that before the date so you will know if it is appropriate to make the suggestion or not. But of course it all depends on you and this other couple and your interests. I enjoy dressing up and getting all sexy but some people prefer a more casual first date.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think we've given them the best advice. But I'll always stop at planning their night for them; what to wear; what to do. As I said....it's no different to singles dating except there's 4 not 2. Despite paradise's assumption that I meant EASIER. - Posted from rhpmobile
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gazpacho
10 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' Dating as a couple is the same as dating as singles.... But there's now 4 instead of 2 right?? Common interests with said couples are the goal; fun; a good balance of sexual and asexual conversation; an ability to take the piss and to have the piss taken. And.... No pressure :) - Posted from rhpmobile I agree entirely. Why complicate things with all the wondering, the he said, she saids.... you're meeting other people and you could end up fucking them. Surely you've done that all your life. HUgsGazpacho
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' I think we've given them the best advice. But I'll always stop at planning their night for them; what to wear; what to do. As I said....it's no different to singles dating except there's 4 not 2. Despite paradise's assumption that I meant EASIER. - Posted from rhpmobile No was just referring to saying 'it's just like singles dating' - because it's nothing like singles dating, except for the fact that you are hoping for an outcome and that go somewhere, with other people. It's hard to really put into words how it is so different - but there's a reason the couples posting feel it is different, and maybe it's just something singles need to experience for themselves to get. I guess as well as staying true to yourself as an individual you also need to see your relationship as a dynamic to be properly honoured - so things could easily get complicated - which is where the term 'taking one for the team' comes from. Singles never have to worry about any of that. Talking practically - the advice re: drinks is a good one. Something that can be as short an interaction or as long as the connection dictates. Just an aside (or maybe an astride) just because this place has a culture of people attacking others or making opinionated assumptions - it doesn't always mean that's what something is... I might make an assumption based off your username though not to worry about it... What I might just suggest though - and I don't mean to seem rude by saying it - but Couples Corner. A Question for couples by a couple about something only someone who has been in a swinging couple is properly qualified to answer. Who made all the single people the experts in answering this question?
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Sorry - I didn't mean to offend anyone. :( I would love to learn more about how couples go about dating. One day I may be in the exact same boat...who knows? Will sit back and read what other couples post. :) Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
It would have been an extremely short thread if not for the un qualified singles offering their advice? Couples are on all the other threads offering advice to singles who ask questions, and yes, I know nothing about interacting with couples, but most of the posters on here do?
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
Sorry if I came off that way...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Mrs.P,surely you know we are all sexperts :-) xAuntie
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've never seen a post of yours containing malice yet. I highly doubt I ever will... :) Way I see dating.... Singles: Two people meet; talk and explore common ground, flirt a little, enjoy each other's company and engage in a fun activity....decide together to make it into sex date.... Couples: Four people meet; talk and explore common ground, flirt a little, engage in a fun activity, enjoy everyone's company.....decide as a group to make it into a sex date ..... I don't see how that's different??? Yes, it's harder to achieve a consensus due to their needing 4 people to be attracted to 4 people instead of 2..... But even if it doesn't result in sex; a good night would've been had by all right?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
10 years ago
however, there is a little thing called love that exists before during and after any date with couples. Singles dating does not have that love involved, maybe it will develop into love later, but couples already have it , that is where there is a major difference. Dare to say that is what makes it all so naughty. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Correct me if I'm wrong.... But shouldn't all that stuff be sorted by the time they're introducing swinging into their relationship?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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Two_Tarts
10 years ago
We are not experts, but we think the ideal date should be relaxed, fun, sexy, flirty, allow for intimate converstaion and the odd casual touch, and have a couple of options for moving forward that everyone can choose from without putting anyone on the spot with a proposition that might make them feel pressured or uncomfortable. Of course nothing would make it more ideal that discovering that we all find each other outrageously sexy and we all take full advantage of the possibilities that offers, but fate is not always that kind! We have seen a few first dates with people that had real appeal go nowhere because of the wrong time or venue. Mid morning coffee dates and almost anything sitting across a table in a venue with bright lighting is just not that sexy and can leave everyone feeling a bit like they are at some odd job interview. First impressions count and so if the first date does not feel sexy or fun then there probably won't be a second. Our ideal first date is doing something that we think is fun and inviting people to join us. That way there is never a wasted evening and hopefully we get to have a fun time regardless of whether we fall madly in lust with each other or not. We love evening drinks in a bar with soft lighting where everyone either stands up, or if we are sitting down we try to make a point of trying to sit next to the person we are there to flirt with. That gives more options for a quieter conversation and the opportunity for the occassional touch to guage interest. Music is good because a bit of a chance to move our bodies is sexy. A bar where you stand is good because it gives everyone a chance to move around easily to find the dynamic that is most comfortable for everyone and the trip to the bar gives everyone a chance for the private conversation that both we, and they, really need as a couple to touch base and decide whether we are both on the same page about where to go from here. If we are not sure about the other couples interest we might suggest a change of venue to somewhere with more serious music and dancing because that gives them the option to either come with us, choose not to come with us, or make another suggestion, without feeling pressured. If we are really keen and think they are too then we might suggest another venue or we could always go back to our place (assuming we have an empty house). Options are good because that way people can pick a path that suits them without feeling pressured. If you are keen and have an option that you would like the other couple to consider then do put it in the array of choices on offer. Have fun! Xxxxxx
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madotara69
10 years ago
It just makes things different. As paradise said it is not easy to explain, though not really for or against the dating thing. We have 'dated' single men only so far, one in particular mentioned that he had never experienced the moments like single type sexual encounters and that sharing something with us as a loving couple became a real highlight as something that realistically would only ever be remembered for the enjoyment being what it was. Ultimately it is what we had sorted that he enjoyed the most.
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we24fun
10 years ago
We still remember our first date. Wow, what a night, sparks were flying between all four of us and it was such a rush with a great couple.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Exactly my point. If the shits not together within the realms of both relatiomships it's not going to be any good. Same with singles. If singles don't have their shit together; they're not going to end up as a couple right?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
Couples fuck all the time when one element is off, singles don't take one for the team because there is no team.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have been with many lovely couples. We text and call and get to know eachother. Build a trust and confidence that it will work first. Talk and laughs on the phone does this.....love snappy x
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RHP User
10 years ago
We're a couple that has only ever posted here in our time as singles... but have just created a couples profile to ask this question, or one very like it... It seems we're not the only ones to want to explore the minds (and even the souls) of other couples before then exploring the bodies (really, the minds expressed through other means). We are experienced enough to know that while we don't mind the wham-bam of more immediate hook ups, our real interest is in dates which may lead to more. Our question, now then, are couples who like to talk first hard to find, and what could we do more of or differently to make sure we find them?
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