..... Dom/s ...the first time meet ...

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Then gather some training and a bit of experience. Nothing worse than not being sure what to do and an injury occurs......... This will also help in determining your type of play, you can state what your interested in and if they are too..... Good luck and have fun

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Hard limits and safe word! But remember ultimately you are both there to please and be pleased. Being a Dom is not about being all controlling, but just being capable of taking control when required. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  A friend of mine does that. No play at all until you get your first set of limits. It is not like the movies , in real life , one false move on your part can be seen as assult or sexual assult in a courtroom. It's all fun and games till someone gets pissed off or you reject them. That is also why I tell people not to engage with sexual activites with strangers if you are drinking. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Might be a good idea to develop a long term solid relationshp first where trust, love and safety are well and truely established... Maybe the bdsm will happen a few years down the track.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Paintmegold has nailed it.......trust is the biggest factor in determining the depth & intensity of the pleasure. Sure you can go to clubs or places where you dabble in BDSM.....but doing it with someone that you totally trust & having real feelings for takes it to another level completely

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  There are documents you can use, if you're going into a D/s relationship from the start. But also up for discussion would be hard limits, safe words and needs for aftercare. I'm sure there are tons of such things on the net and places like fet Here is the start of an eg document that goes through many fetish/kinks which you could discuss: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - BDSM/ROLE PLAY - WHAT TURNS ME ON - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: GENDER: SEXUAL ORIENTATION: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This document is long, but it can be a valuable tool between you and your dominant, so take the time to think about your answers and about what you are *really* interested in. Keep the notecard to give to possible dominants. This will help your dominant to understand what you need, what you like and helps to find the commonalities where you can both play happily. Dont be afraid to add notes in the document, in places you aren't sure about or curious but not sure. Especially note the places where you are so excited you can't stand it. I enjoy the following role play scenarios (mark with an X - or more XXX if its a major turn on): [ ] A stranger walks into my bedroom and finds me playing with myself [ ] I am a total slave every day of the week ..... It's quiet extensive, not sure if I should post the whole thing in here though.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Trust is the thing that is of primary importance. The problem with that is understanding what trust is. trust is very complicated and involves what you do, have done, will do. It means, understanding the other person, knowing what they do, have done, and will do. Trust is not making expectations that can not be keep. Trust is not relying on the the past to judge the future. Trust is not words or paper with promises You place trust in every one you ever meet. But that trust is always limited and has conditions, to be a DOM limits and conditions are felt rather than known. Trust can never be broken for anyone ever. To break the trust of anyone for what ever reason mean you can never be truly trust worthy, you can never be a true DOM. Explore your trust, in your self, can you trust your self to keep trust sacred, and then in others. When you understand what it really means to trust and be trusted then you can begin to be a true DOM. Till that day you can only play the game of pretend and should not cross any boundaries that have not been talked about ad nauseum.

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  twowithnolimits

  10 years ago

  first you yourself must be naturally drawn to dominance at least in the context you are discussing nothing worse than wannabe doms asking other doms or worse still subs how do i do it... second, as in a vanilla relationship you need to be empathetic and in tune to your partners need, that doesnt mean a bunch of worthless contracts, pc cliched safe words or constantly stopping to ask if "everythings allright?" third if you already have a sense of what she wont enjoy, doesnt want, cant take, isnt interested in, desperately craves and the imagination and psychological skills to weave that toegther you are already well on the way to answering your own question..

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  Greidiawl

  10 years ago

  the basis of BDSM is the same as any other relationship... you will need to develop a respect for each other... each others desires... each other limits... from this builds trust... find what appeals whether this is the mental side of things or the physical or a mix... a read of some of the many sites that are around... look at what interests you... take inspiration from these sites rather than treating them as an instruction manual... in the end BDSM or any other fetish is about expanding your boundaries... increasing the scope at what you are both into as part of your connection...

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Yes so very true

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