M50
Dumbing it Down
July 06 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Interesting question. I'm going to say no. I don't feel I've ever had to dumb down, or smart up - if there is such a term, with anyone But rather I do have, and do appreciate that different people bring out different sides to me. I can be vastly different, and discuss completely different topics depending on who I'm with. What is intelligence anyway, and who defines it? Even cognitive scientists will disagree on the particulars. I think intelligence is so varied and it isn't to me to decide what is dumb or intelligent, but I certainly can appreciate different peoples thought processes and ways of thinking. I'm a doofus is so many ways, so I love that there are so many different ideas and skill sets out there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have done with both men and women, but for the sake of making them feel comfortable. no one likes a smarty pants, or to be out witted, so I start with the gentle approach until I figure out who they are. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
for anyone to "dumb down" (or up). I don't like the whole sound of it. Everyone should be honest and be able to be who they are. Everyone is different. I don't mind if a partner is more or less "intelligent" than me, who cares. Also people can be more (or less) intelligent or knowledgeable in different areas. I may know more about some things in certain areas (like what I have studied or had experience in) and she may be more knowledgeable in other areas, great. You can both learn from each other. No need though to try and make the other person look bad though, that's just not right.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
for a couple of nuff nuffs.(guys) And back at you OP...... How often do you dumb down so your prospective mate is comfortable? Cant see why we cant have a unisex thread?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I rarely find the need to dumb it down, that would involve them actually asking questions about me, they are usually only interested in 1. My name (that's also debatable) 2. Where I live, and if it's in close proximity to them so that they don't have to go to too much effort. Which is why I lose interest in going past the messaging stage really quickly.
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RHP User
9 years ago
How about never? Any guy who would make me want to act like something I'm not, I don't really want to hang out with.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't know whether it's related to intelligence, or education, but I like my companions at any time to be capable (if not willing) of talking about anything and everything. Especially being able to think about things left of centre (not hard on here), perhaps philosophically, the ability to question everything included one's own opinion, and have a wider view on relationships and other subjective topics. Yes, we can talk about the weather too. But that is why I'm attracted to people in this community in general, and never really interested in the younger age groups, sometimes with overly simplistic viewpoints. Even when I was younger, I often appreciated the company of adults. Having said all that, I have been known to do and say some pretty dumb things, and I'm sure they won't be the last! So I would say that even if someone comes across as "dumb" or perhaps "simple" (to have to use some sort of descriptor), most have the ability for deeper thought if you want to take the time to find the right way to connect with them. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Guy = Person.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Im not a female Einstein, nor am I Maria Blonde (empty headed). Im just me, what you see is what you get so if I dont impress someone when we meet so be it. It just means that there are other people I will get along famously with who will like me the way I am.
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tylannister
9 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' for a couple of nuff nuffs.(guys) And back at you OP...... How often do you dumb down so your prospective mate is comfortable? Cant see why we cant have a unisex thread? Nah, that's a perfectly good point! It is as applicable to men as it is to women. (Huh. That's funny. I didn't put the "single women" tag on my original post...silly mods. Trix are for kids. =D) I'm realizing that by using the term "dumbing down" I chose some provocative language. Maybe it's less "dumbing down" and more acting like someone you're not. But, so how often do I dumb down for someone I'm with? I've done it a few times in the past, though it's been quite awhile. I recognize that now as me acting on low self-confidence at the time, feeling that just being me wasn't good enough. Working through that, though, and being content and happy with who I am now, part of why I'm seeing someone is because I feel like I can be myself around them without having to act like someone different.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have never found the need to dumb down,or pretend that I am smarter than I am..and OP,jut because someone doesn't have a formal education does not mean they are uneducated..autodidacts ... There are a few different areas of intelligence ..Einstein for instance had very little emotional intelligence ..If someone has passion for a particular subject I find that very attractive..the smartest people can also be the most crashing of bores ...some people just don't understand that a conversation requires the input of t least two people.otherwise I think it's called a soliloquy ๐xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
When I'm at work I sometimes 'dumb down' my language depending on my audience... use less of the 'corporate speak' and throw in some swear words. But otherwise, I'm with Meander. If I have to change my behaviour and act less smart than I am to hang out with someone, then I'd rather be on my own.
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TallBaldSexy
9 years ago
Wonder if not revealing your true motivation Behind A "transparent falsity" is being caught out trying to sound intelligent? And guised "dumbing it down" is more a self ego thing? Anyway shall see how this thread pans out
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novababy
9 years ago
to be someone your not what s it is more important is to be what people see you as who YOU are that matters most in life , I am me except me as i am
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Only the smart people would be smart enough to know to dumb themselves down.... But is it really that smart to go and do it. Hmmmmmm
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RHP User
9 years ago
Smart as a word is vague to me! can be used is so many contexts by a vast variety of levels of people. I enjoy meeting women who on a date have awesome critical thinking skills - can sum up circumstances in a few words
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am a deep thinker and I like in depth talks about many topics. I find have to create light conversation to be able to have a conversation. Some people are not deep thinkers and don't research, investigate or have much prior knowledge of the topics they choose to discuss. We are all individuals who use our minds differently. I find it rare to have great conversations with many men. They probably feel the same about me. But when 2 great minds can discuss, think and debate I think its awesome.
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RHP User
9 years ago
dumbing down or talking at a level for your audience? I wouldn't 'dumb down', but I would moderate what I talk about depending on the audience - or at the least, what terminology I used. I wouldn't want anyone to dumb down for me either, just the same consideration in explaining a concept rather than just rattling off jargon. Up to a point I wouldn't say that is dumbing down though. I imagine plenty of people with dry, sarcastic or rather outrageous types of humour do censor themselves a fair bit until a person knew them a bit better and would understand what was and wasn't a serious comment or genuinely held viewpoint.
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nattyocean
9 years ago
Thinking about this question, I believe i am guilty of ๐ณ๐๐ modification of the level of the conversation depending on the audience but this does not mean I'm dumbing down by any means - this may have been with younger staff I was training, return to the workforce/new to the workforce who hadn't had the relevant exposure or education to comprehend the dialogue. I see it as being aware of my company , having a sense of emotional intelligence, and wanting to have an engaging conversation regardless of the range of education level - being the difference between education and intelligence. But I was an auditor and our ability to manipulate and mould the conversation is part of the art in that profession โบ๏ธ I would struggle with pretending to be "dumb" and as part of my criteria when engaging with people off this site or even when just making new friends in general, is that there is a connection. This for me, as I expected for many is established through a engaging dialogue and if I'm bored, feeling like I would need to change to engage better with them, or not intrigued by them then it won't progress anywhere lol what can I say - according to some I'm fickle lol hmmmm no honey I'm just highly selective ๐ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
... I will'd smartn up if'd I cood ... they's just gonna hafta endur I ass I m
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lovman8
9 years ago
Intelligence is attractive.I always pretend to be way smarter than I am!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't think this is restricted to girls. Have you ever tried to talk to a 21 year old of any gender?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I really haven't regarded it as dumbing down, but I have changed the words I communicate with, as I've met some really intelligent people who just did not have the academic ability to understand some of the words/terms I would normally use but they had a wealth of valuable information on a subject. Practical intelligence is just as valuable as academic and some are better at showing how something is achieved rather than explaining it. However, it is something you need to find out at a social meet as it stays undiscovered with written communication.
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
I was meeting someone that looked like Delta Goodrem (or Astrild, for that matter) and she started going on like Pixie Ann Wheatley, I really don't think it would work. Don't dumb it down, ladies. Ever... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Mimicker- y or Mockery 'the whole educational and professional training system isa very elaborate filter,which just weeds out people who are too independent, and who think for themselves, and who don't know how to be submissive,and so on --because they're to dysfunctional to the instructions."- Noam Chomsky
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RHP User
9 years ago
me as I am or not all as far as I'm concerned. I don't really have a problem playing dumb whenever it is strategically advantageous to do so, on the job or elsewhere.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I had to google Pixie Ann Wheatley... and what I found totally cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh, and I promise I'll never unleash my inner Pixie Ann on you :)
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'xKiwiBredx' I don't really have a problem playing dumb whenever it is strategically advantageous to do so, on the job or elsewhere. Strategic huh
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Seachange
9 years ago
Prefer that word. I have been in positions, mainly work related, where i had to 'adjust' the way I talk or my vocabulary to suit the purpose. In some previous jobs here and overseas, I had to extract information from people from different levels of resposibilities in the company from the shopfloor guys to the CEOs. And try that in French!!! Lol (mainly for the shopfloor guys who did not have a good command of English). anyway, wrt your topic re. 'adapting' to a man in a dating scenario... YES. When I was younger, I have dated a few men who did not share the same interests as myself re. academics and corporate lifestyle. However, I tried to find the common ground and focussed on that. SPORTS, Gym, Movies, broad shoulders, and biceps. Lucky I am mad about these. And yes, these relationships did not last the distance but I did have fun and it provided a good change and learnings for me. Who doesnt like a good bicep or two flexing in tight shirts. IMO, Stuff Einstein's theory when the guns are out!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xoJulesox' Mimicker- y or Mockery 'the whole educational and professional training system isa very elaborate filter,which just weeds out people who are too independent, and who think for themselves, and who don't know how to be submissive,and so on --because they're to dysfunctional to the instructions."- Noam Chomsky Love Chomsky, but sometimes find his work is a filter for those with attention deficit issues - he can go on a bit. This is succinct and accurate.
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RHP User
9 years ago
We must be talking to different 21 year olds. Some of my son's friends are that age and they're very articulate.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I dont have to try and dumb it down. It just comes naturally to me ๐ณ
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Seachange
9 years ago
My son teenage son and his mates are very smart, articulate and sensitive young men of 18-19. Agree with you there. the younger generation is quite admirable as they are more aware of their surrounding and the legacy that people from 'our' generation (his words. lol) has left for them to deal with. i had an in depth discussion about this with my sons (the other is 15) when we were watching news segments on the Greek political and economic crisis. I was enjoying the discussion and their free thoughts and criticism of the greed of 80s and 90s that have left their generation with the struggle to own their own homes. I am also amazed with his mates with their compassion and dedication to the environment and social equality issues from gay marriages, to sustainable living. I have the mates over for dinner at times and the dinner table talk is most amazing. let the young be heard, I say. Far more astute than I was or any of my peers were at the same age. So proud of them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xoJulesox' Mimicker- y or Mockery 'the whole educational and professional training system isa very elaborate filter,which just weeds out people who are too independent, and who think for themselves, and who don't know how to be submissive,and so on --because they're to dysfunctional to the instructions."- Noam Chomsky Mark Bouris often comments along the same lines. I haven't actually read the book, but I quite like his interpretation of the Yellow Brick Road from The Wizard of Oz too.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xKiwiBredx' Quoting 'xoJulesox' Mimicker- y or Mockery 'the whole educational and professional training system isa very elaborate filter,which just weeds out people who are too independent, and who think for themselves, and who don't know how to be submissive,and so on --because they're to dysfunctional to the instructions."- Noam Chomsky Mark Bouris often comments along the same lines. I haven't actually read the book, but I quite like his interpretation of the Yellow Brick Road from The Wizard of Oz too. Funny coincidence or maybe that's the connection ..prior to yellow brick road he started up Wizard home loanssold it off for a fortune to aussie home loans the yellow brick road - path ed in gold.
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inspirit
9 years ago
If I am out and find it too hard to hold a conversation about the law of probability - I am out of there - I get confused.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Just remember this...The law of probability is... absolute chaos. Any time gorgeous
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree with Lilyorchid, we moderate to facilitate comfort. Whether it be CEO, average worker, academic, young child, or grandparent we speak in a tone or manner that brings ease. When trying to get into some lovely ladies undergarments I no longer own an intellect, its lost in the pursuit of pussy. Its an honourable pursuit nonetheless. Using ones intellect to get into pussy has its own rewards๐๐๐
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are plenty capable of dumbing down, but amusingly so there are also those that can smarten up. This works well for me as I am somewhere in the middle and thus don't have to move in ether direction. It is rather difficult to be dumber and also the same for smarter so i am more than happy for them to move to me. The real fun is trying to work out which direction people have moved. Being smart makes for very whimsical dumb, too much wit within. Being dumb makes for very sure smart, too much surety within. Oh the joy of double dumb in conversation where one and one is a sum, then to match points on double smart where one and one is now three.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Quoting 'xKiwiBredx' I don't really have a problem playing dumb whenever it is strategically advantageous to do so, on the job or elsewhere. Strategic huh Yes, in terms of negotiations, covert operations etc. - not to be confused with dumbing down I might add.
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are times when I make myself small..Quiet,unobtrusive ...particularly in a work situation ...I think we all adapt to different people,in different situations ...Who we are in with family is not necessarily how we present to friends or work colleagues..our personas are many faceted ,we are not one dimensional...xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
But sometimes I do hold back, probably out of politeness more than anything.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think about this a lot! I am blonde, I have huge boobs and I am greatly intelligent and successful (but I am also humble). I do not dumb myself down as I believe someone should like the whole, real me but I do find that naturally, I will reduce the number of syllables in the vocabulary I use, and after 5 years of dating with no success I have seen all types of responses from men. The most classic picture is their jaws dropping when I talk about what I do for work; I guess it doesnt help that I am very passionate about my career choice which oozes through body language as I talk. Maybe different conversational topic?! A
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RHP User
9 years ago
Communication is a complicated apparatus, not because language is a particularly difficult entity to master, it is the movement of conceptual information from one mind to the subsequent mind that poses the difficulty. Sentences build metaphors and meaning lays in the congruous understanding of those metaphors. Dumbing down in language is a progressive adaptation toward more elementary metaphors. We do it all the time when we come from a specialist field of knowledge. Conceptual understanding for the specialist is complex and the metaphors used are vague and do not bare close inspection, but in the field the core meaning that the metaphor holds is commonly known. For the layman, not unintelligent, yet not in the no; they can be frustrated via the use of these metaphors. We dumb down, attempting to find a simpler representation. We reach a point where the meaning teeters on the edge of substantiating the concept and with serendipity the layman grasps the basic understanding. We have successfully dumbed down. We are all specialists by virtue of the unique lives we lead. This then makes all communication and hence language a form of dumbing down. Unfortunately this requirement in language for most gives rise to a glorification of the id by the ego's natural ease to personify superiority. Do not be fooled into thinking this as reality, for you are not superior in terms of function, only in terms of specialist knowledge. For the intelligent individual dumbing down is natural and easy to do, for the ones lacking it is an struggle, which by virtue of this effort gives reason for ego to hold superiority. It is the dumb that feel that need to dumb down, like a drug it rewards ego and corrupts the id. Or should I say, "Dumb down? get your hand of it.."
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RHP User
9 years ago
i can only be the person that i am, and i would like to think the people i meet are happy to be honest and true to themselves also......peace to all...............anyone horny at present ?
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