RHP

RHP User

F52

Ego

September 02 2012

Is it a dirty word? I've seen so many shades of ego on this site. From bold claims that undoubtedly cover insecure minds. To quiet confidence that suggests a deeper soul. To shallow arrogance, often developed when nature blesses you with good looks and stature, and therefore does not require you to work very hard for love, or other successes. From the sublime, as they say, to the ridiculous. I tend to only look at male profiles so I speak from that experience only. Do women have particular brand of ego? Forum peeps, this is an inquisitive journey, not a criticism or judgment of anyone. Please be nice, and please save your flaming of others for ... well ... never! :)

Comments

  • CrackUp

    CrackUp

    12 years ago

    What can I say.... but 'DAMN, I'm Goooooooood'.. lol.

  • sistolu

    sistolu

    12 years ago

    You are definitely not good for my ego..I keep getting rejected. I just wanna be friend with you omg hehehe xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Yes. I have seen profiles very much mirror those of which you speak, from the absurdly over the top arrogance, to the much more subtle confidence that leaves you thinking "there's just something just awesome about this one, that while she's not really that blessed with the supermodel gaze, I just can't stop looking at her." all the way to the those that just make you want to go "awwwwww, why so sad?"   I think also that it seems to be very much like our very own automated "pecking order" that seems to exist, and I can't quite think of why it seems to be. But one thing's for certain, or at least to me, I'm loving the diverse and very different profiles to read, and the people behind them, and what makes them tick.   Chris

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    12 years ago

    I agree... Ego is part of everyone whether they've got lots of it on display or hardly any at all. Could we say ego is a manifestation of self-confidence? Maybe but as a teen I had lots of ego and vats of insecurities which muddies that reasoning. Was a terrible combination too. As for whether women have their own brand of ego I am not sure I am qualified to answer except to say chicks can be arseholes too... And the most painfully egotistical women I've met have been clearly standing on a bed of insecurities with a motivation of putting others down whereas the painfully egotistical men seem to be coming from a different space.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i don't think so....we all need to be aware of our "own self"...and we all have egos...whether it's an ego of an insecure mind...or an overconfident mind....or someone's, who just happily sits in the middle ground...well, that depends on so many things...one's childhood...upbringing...physical/ emotional traumas....the constant feedback, we receive , from others around us...would be molding our own ego, constantly, too...some people need reassurance, all the time...and some would be convinced, that they are God's gift to the world...i don't consider the former a sign of weakness...as some people do..and don't necessarily condemn the latter as "cocky" , either...i think we all try our hardest, to develop a healthy ego...one that basks in reassurance and compliments...but doesn't need them, to feel good, content and complete...we and our famous egos are on a constant journey, of self discovery...and if one can approach another...with an open, understanding mind...willing to see , and accept,all sides of a person...this world could be a wonderful place!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' Yes. I have seen profiles very much mirror those of which you speak, from the absurdly over the top arrogance, to the much more subtle confidence that leaves you thinking "there's just something just awesome about this one, that while she's not really that blessed with the supermodel gaze, I just can't stop looking at her." all the way to the those that just make you want to go "awwwwww, why so sad?"   I think also that it seems to be very much like our very own automated "pecking order" that seems to exist, and I can't quite think of why it seems to be. But one thing's for certain, or at least to me, I'm loving the diverse and very different profiles to read, and the people behind them, and what makes them tick.   Chris Totally agree with Chris, love the diversity, it's enriching, amusing and entertaining !RR

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Ego with a genuine fun loving unselfish attitude always a winner.. everyone should like themselves and be fun to be around...Ego with a self centred arrogance ... a big loser.. being full of them-self is destructive to everyone except them...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And what about the other users besides me halcyon :P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "The ego comprises the organized part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. Originally, Freud used the word ego to mean a sense of self, but later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory.<1> The ego separates out what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us." (Wikipedia)After reading this I have to wonder what the word egotistical really means???

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Wildreturns' After reading this I have to wonder what the word egotistical really means??? Freud used the term 'ego', as part of the tree way structure of the psyche, placed between the 'id' and the 'super ego'. The philosophical interpretation of ego (and also the most widely accepted definition) is the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought. In this perspective, giving one's self a greater importance than others is an egotistical (or arrogant) attitude.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    An ego is like everything else.....good in moderation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If Jesus had an ego he'd still be alive today And if Nixon had no ego he might not be in decay If you did not have an ego you might not care too much who won If I did not have an ego I might just use a gun

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...you'd just be like the rest.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Shirl rocked! Its funny seeing the words and realising that I sang along with that song for years and never really heard anything but the chorus.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's interesting, I think there's sometimes a fine line between having an ego and being perhaps overly assertive. I don't think having a bit of an ego is a bad thing however people have to have a certain level of self-awareness not to let it get the best of them because as previously stated, too much is a bad thing but everything is good in moderation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Our ego is good. It helps define the self... It's the different hats we wear in different occasions. It protects us, gets us places, and helps us to experience new things, but it can also stop us from being authentic... We think we know ourselves- it's when our ego is challenged that we gain to know a more authentic self ... Love your posts halcyon_days ... xx Cassandra :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    OK - we're setting the TARDIS back 7 years and watching a......errrr.......friend of mine.This particular fella had been convinced by his wife of 28 years that he was fat, ugly, stupid, and not to forget a failure as a husband, father, provider as well as in his professional life. A man who was described by his business partner as shrinking daily. Ego? What ego? How could anybody love this fella when he believed that he was an abject failure at life. In truth, he was a lovely and empathic guy, very smart with passably charming good, if slightly furry, looks, an even disposition, happily social, a good father and a ran a successful and profitable professional business, at the same time as dealing with a wife who no longer cared enough to have anything to do with running their house. He not only walked out on a toxic marriage, he took his endangered 3 kids with him happily to a different, safe house, sold his business, changed from an employer to an employee AND started dating. All in one giant step. Not many men could do that without either losing their mind, abandoning their kids or topping themselves. So what had we here? The real "I" was not what he had been persuaded to see. Over the next 7 years we were to see that, thanks to the love of his children, parents and the mostly positive responses of people around him in both his professional and personal life, a closer assimilation of the objective and subjective "I"s occured. In summary, his own view of himself was dragged by the short and curlies up to where it should have been. Thank God.Today, there is still residual damage there, but he is no longer tormented with "I am soooooo unworthy of anybody that any behaviour at all in a partner will be accepted, just so long as you show some fondness". Lately, he even surprised those around him by banishing a couple of acquiantances for "fuckwittage". Changed from a relationship hoarder (no matter how peculiar or toxic) to someone who feels he can pick and choose or abandon, as the perceived self more closely approached the real self. Sad to see that anybody who swore to love, honour and cherish could do that to their spouse, but on the other hand, he chose to stay far too long in a toxic relationship wayyyyyyyy beyond when it had run its course from happy and reinforcing to destructive and abusive. But these days, he doesn't beat himself too much about that one........