Engagement Ring

June 04 2019

I heard this discussion on the radio today and wanted to ask for opinions especially from men. If you got engaged and your fiancee wanted to pay for half of the engagement ring would you care?Why or why not? The man on the radio was offended by his girlfriends offer. I have no real opinion other than the tradition of engagement rings in general seem outdated and the diamond industry has issues.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    In 1938 De Beers started their campaign to popularise the diamond engagement ring.And yes you are right EQ the diamond trade has more than issues,the phrase "Blood diamonds" is indicative of this ... So chaps before you purchase the diamond ring check out its provenance. I wonder why the person on the radio was upset that his fiancé wanted to contribute to he cost?Was it because he could only afford a small offering perhaps? Hugs Q

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    I only ever bought one, in hindsight actually, yeh, my word, I wish she did go me halves way back then, at least it wouldn't have been nearly as offensive as when she took 80% of everything, including kids and super when she left...bah ha ha ha...and the dog...which was put down yesterday aged 14, so my child told me through tears, as I haven't been able to see him for 8 months...half? Fuck that, I should send her a bill for the whole ring...ha ha ha ha...

  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    6 years ago

    Tbh I’d care not...it’s like housework...it still needs to be done, so I don’t care who does it..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Young, in love and serious about marriage and making a family, then yes let him pay for the ring. The female will be making great sacrifices when it comes to baking the child, producing the child and raising the child. Any other scenario well it's personal preferences and has to be based on a discussion of couple goals and future plans.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    Equality is a great way to start married life. Should be more of it.She's a keeper.

  • egr2please69

    egr2please69

    6 years ago

    Couldn't care less. If she gets the ring she wants and she's happy to contribute as i look at it, its WIN WIN 😁

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    6 years ago

    It never bothered me before. I couldn't see what the big deal about buying expensive rings for weddings and engagement is for. When I got engaged to my ex wheb I was young and living and working overseas, our vow for commitment was enough. I didn't need to flash any rings or precious jewellery to confirm my happiness or status. When we got married in North America (coz he is from there), we were young professionals, starting out in our promising careers. I didn't think a big wedding was necessary as it meant I have to spend endless hours in the wedding planning deciding on what stupid colour should the wedding party wear, stupid flowers for the bouquet or arrangements, etc... I found it distracting from my life purpose and work. So we both opted for simplicity and meaningful union. No engagement rings. For our wedding, I went to shop to a small gold ring with the small subtle diamond imbedded. I paid no more than 79$US. My sister in laws (now ex) all made fun of it because they can't see the diamonds. It's such a big deal to have big rocks up there. Bragging rights. Lol. I was content with the ring. We spent our money on a sking honeymoon instead. So, what ever makes people happy. They values should dictate whether to contribute, have a big ring (1-3 month's salary worth of loan) or none at all. I just think that a marriage should be a partnership, I should have same value ring as my partner. The ring stands for the union, not bragging rights.

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    6 years ago

    Agree, would rather a holiday than a ring

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    6 years ago

    I Think the reason he was miffed was that it was somewhat emasculating to him. Thats what I gathered from the tone of the conversation. He saw it as his role. The target audience of this station is young, under 25. If I wanted a ring I wouldn't mind paying half. I didn't think it would be seen as an offensive offer?

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    6 years ago

    Certainly not against marriage, I've had a couple myself to see what the fuss was about.....But really. Anything with a wedding tag on it is multiplied x 3.Some spend so much money on weddings for a day of celebration that otherwise spent would set themselves up in their life together. Be a bit more conservative and it won't be so much of a stretch to afford the divorce.

  • countrytouch82

    countrytouch82

    6 years ago

    Personally, I would likely choose a ring based on a custom design, perhaps one that reflects her life interests, I've seen ones emulating nature or animals or artful designs, handmade or handcrafted which also gives someone you know much needed income, as opposed to supporting certain big gold or diamond business (although there are some ethical/fairtrade options) that promote most advertisements as if you need to buy her this "if you love her". And thus, if I was customising the ring, I would likely to be paying for it, as it would be a gift, as I'm not going to be wearing half of it :P I wouldn't need a half contribution as I would not be paying a stupendous amount for it in the first place. Like some others, holidays together, other things could be done with a similar amount and become a mutual life experience, much more important.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    6 years ago

    Wouldn't worry me if he was on a budget, with the ring I liked cost more than that. Happy to contribute as I would be the one wearing it. In fact my first engagement ring, I wasn't too keen on as we couldn't find a wedding band to match so we settled with another ring with matching Wedding band. He was happy to purchase it himself and the divorce too. All those rings are kept in a safe. Other diamond rings I have received from partners, I wear because I like them. Ms Foxy

  • Phoenix_Rising

    Phoenix_Rising

    6 years ago

    I bought my own engagement ring..and my wedding ring, and my husband’s wedding ring. That is to say I chose and purchased them, pretty sure the money came from my bank account too but it never really mattered to us who’s bank account we were using. Regardless of what it is though, if I bought something for someone and they offered to pay for half of it I’d tell them to get fucked, haha. I wouldn’t be offended though, I’d appreciate the offer but tell them it’s completely unnecessary

  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    6 years ago

    mrs b only let me buy hers on the condition i let her buy one for me ,yeah sure why not ,i wants diamonds too ,but just little ones mr b

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    It was a huge flop.

  • 181Dinner4Two

    181Dinner4Two

    6 years ago

    . WoW Weee, what a wonderful way to build a relationship together. They select which rings they Like, they choose the price range for themselves, their joint involvement in this process while navigating the ups un downs together should lead them into a more nuanced commitment with each other, also help develop their ability to talk with (not too) each other; and help them both in learning how the other communicates their points of view, Likes, desires and dislikes. How great this would be = BLOODY GRAIRT ! Just imho that is, edd. .

  • House_of_Fun

    House_of_Fun

    6 years ago

    From a country where engagement rings are not a thing, and I personally don't see the point of them. I'm with EQ and Q on this one. Should I ever tie the knot, I'll take a simple white gold band over a diamond ring any day. I love how this woman offered to pay for half, and feel for both of them because of the outcome.

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    6 years ago

    I didn't know that? I just assumed it was a Western tradition.

  • usrightnow_Again

    usrightnow_Again

    6 years ago

    We chose Mrs. urn's ring together, both paid for it and here we are thirty odd years later, still sharing our lives, decisions, responsibilities and costs. We are, after all, equals. ..Mr. urn. .