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Events/Meet-ups

May 16 2021

events

meet ups

manners

Out of 125 who registered interest in the Gold Coast meet and greet event and the many that confirmed they were attending, I would like to say a HUGE thank you to the 4 couples who actually attended the Gold Coast Meetup. Thank you for understanding how much effort I put into arranging it, for making the commitment to come, for being brave enough to turn up, for being kind, for appreciating the venue for giving us the safe space to meet, for showing interest in an event and following through on your commitment to attend. I appreciate you 😘 This event has been running for over a year. It always has an incredible amount of interest but the constant unreliability is disappointing. We have had nights where over 150 people attend, and fantastic nights of just a small group (like last night) but I wish more people would understand how disappointing it is for the organisers who constantly put in the effort to make arrangements, who chat with strangers to try to ease their nerves and alleviate their concerns, and end up exhausted, all for free, and the attendees who are there to meet lots of people because the guest list looked promising. Yes, things happen, people change their minds, but when do manners not become important? Take your name off the guest list if you can’t make it, let the organiser know. The same goes with any arrangements. I gave myself a challenge two weeks ago to meet as many people as I could. To be more open and step out of my comfort zone. Knowing the unreliability of people and the high risk of no shows, I still went to a huge effort to make myself presentable, to make myself available by starting work earlier, preparing meals in advance for my kids, getting babysitters etc and booked myself back to back, non stop. Over 300 men contacted me, and I chatted with many of them who were local to my area, in my age range etc. There were about 50 or so that I had mutual interests with, who were single without other commitments, and sounded interesting. I was able to make arrangements to meet with 22 of them. That’s where it got interesting. Contact often stopped once they realised I was serious about meeting and not interested in online fun. But others were keen to meet so I found a way to fit them into my busy life somehow, I made it work. Out of the 22 men I arranged to meet only 2 actually turned up. One wasn’t suited. One was absolutely perfect. I am lucky, I went into the situation with low expectations and enjoyed a great result for me but I was still surprised at the lack of manners. No one likes rejection, but we all have to learn to deal with it, always be polite, be kind, be respectful. We seem to have forgotten how to actually talk honestly with each other and show kindness and respect. Yes, it’s a sex sight, but we are all humans who deserve to be treated more than just like an easily replaceable sex toy without any importance. So next time you are chatting with someone be honest, if you are nervous, not confident, not feeling any chemistry, say so! Politely! And, most importantly, learn to accept not everyone is going to be into you and enjoy the same mutual interests! People should feel comfortable saying no without the risk of abuse and insults. I think that’s what this whole situation comes down to. People are afraid to say no. It’s easier to block or disappear. To just not turn up to an event. No one will notice you missing right? You need to know something important.... YES!! You will be missed! Your absence will be felt. Someone, or even more than one person even, will be disappointed you didn’t follow through with your one on one arrangements, or that you didn’t attend the event. But being direct and polite helps ease this disappointment and it’s just plain good manners! Disappointment is a part of putting yourself out there, it’s a risk we all take. But good open communication and honesty can help us recover quicker from the constant disappointments. No, we don’t owe strangers anything, we don’t owe anyone an explanation but you know what? It is kind to be honest, even if it does hurt. Please, always show kindness and respect, especially during fragile moments of that nerve racking first meet or event. We don’t know what the other person is going through, has been through, or their past experiences. But we should all try our best to be kind, compassionate, understanding and respectful. Basic human decency.

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Comments

  • teejaylongsword

    teejaylongsword

    4 years ago

    It's a bit weak not turning up (unless there is some sort of emergency), especially when it's only a meet up. I have always turned up to anything I have agreed to. it might be harder for couples when there are two people who have to commit and actually show up. Personally speaking, would feel like a fake not to show up. There are always choices once you get there, but I think at least giving things a chance and respecting the hosts is really important.

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  • teamaj2

    teamaj2

    4 years ago

    Kink Temptation firstly I would like to say congratulations on an articulate post . The post is informative and well written. I 100% agree with all that you said . I wish you good luck in all your future endeavours . Ax

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  • ArtsyLusttty

    ArtsyLusttty

    4 years ago

    From memory, once registered, we can't remove our names off from the list (?) 🤷🏽‍♀️ LustttCaution

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  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    4 years ago

    I wish I could say I’m surprised, but honestly it just makes me sad. There’s just zero respect for the time and effort event organisers put into these things and the same people that were no shows will be complaining about the lack of things to go to in a few months time. The interested button for events has always been a bit of a waste of time in our experience. We assumed early on that interested meant interested! We’d be heading to something interstate and contact people we found interesting on a list and never actually found a single person that was attending🙄 We don’t get to meet n’ greets very often and honestly haven’t managed a local one (bloody shift work), but have got along to ones in Sydney and going by our recent interactions with some lovely Queenslanders we wouldn’t hesitate there either if we were in town. Those that didn’t show up don’t know what they’re missing out on! I totally get why some clubs have started moving to prepayment and doors closed by ten. The no shows amoungst singles isn’t remotely a surprise, it made us rethink the LS for quite a while, nothing like being stood up to make you feel desired and good about yourselves! These guys need to realise how much effort goes into finding sitters, offloading the kids and getting dressed up.... times that by 100 for the event organisers out there. What it has done though, is make us ultra cautious about the people we choose to interact with.... we’re never in a rush anymore and will take the opportunities and gems when we stumble on them! Good luck to all of the organisers out there, you have our utmost respect 😉

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  • Bi_Fem

    Bi_Fem

    4 years ago

    Four couples (8 people) out of 125 interested !! ... this is why people dont organise private events or meet ups At least you are trying KinkTemptation, stay positive x

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Yeah I went to the first one you organised last yr. But that was through FL. That one was over 150 ppl from both sites. I havent seen your meet & greets advertised on there for ages. Or am I missing seeing the event listing?Maybe start that up again? Its a known fact that generally half the guests interested actually turn up. But 4 couples out of that many, is crazy

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  • teamaj2

    teamaj2

    4 years ago

    I used to co host a monthly event in Melbourne . The couple that created this wonderful monthly event spent hours arduously chatting , answering questions and vetting people to create a safe space and event where people could met like minded sexy souls . They wanted to create a safe haven for people to party whether it be to just meet and chat or to play . To find the right mix of people takes time , effort , patience and it does impact ones everyday life . I’m happy curiousityykitty posted this to make people somewhat aware of what goes into planning a good event . With this particular event in Melbourne we allowed a limited number of single males. The number of males was determined by the number of couples attending . I know it was asked of these single males to please let the organisers know if they were not attending . This allowed others on the wait list to attend . We all have busy lives with work , family etc etc surely some common decency and respect isn’t asking too much to let the organisers know if unable to attend . I understand nerves , real life get the way of attending and that’s perfectly okay and understandable . Ax

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  • funtimescouple1

    funtimescouple1

    4 years ago

    Is it a Covid forced online fantasy hangover or something? So many people registering interest, looking and chatting online but so few actually committing to meet or turning up to meet. And many couples that we do meet just don't seem to be very flirty since Covid started. Come on people, life is short! And yes have respect for people making the effort to organise stuff.

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  • Andrewxwz

    Andrewxwz

    4 years ago

    For your efforts you definitely deserve more respect. Understandable people get nervous/ anxious but it's a simple act to notify changes in status. Keep up the good work.

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  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    4 years ago

    Meet and greets can be fiendishly difficult to run. Used to run a couple a year in Melbourne with my bff who I met here. It was a two person job; we kept spreadsheets to keep track of attendees, made contact at least three times in the lead up, and really pushed for confirmation of attendance. Highest attendance was 120. We were also fortunate to average 70% attendance for our meet & greets, with single men being the highest number of no shows. 🤦‍♀️ I do wonder if there is still that hesitancy to be out & about in large groups, but that may be a Melbournite response - who is still suffering ptsd from extended lockdowns. Or the old seemed like a good idea at the time of registration 🤔

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  • countrytouch82

    countrytouch82

    4 years ago

    Yep. I've organised three annual and one small singles meetup (about 30-40 people). Attendance was otherwise about 80 to 100 each time. But yes, individual contact had to be made with about 250 to 300 to get that number. Firstly, assume most people treat the rhp event "interested" list as more like an "interesting" button, or a "like" button. Many do this on nearly all available events, and clashing ones. As for your experiences in meeting new individuals, maybe covid has played a part making people restless and getting online more with their ideas, but reality falls through for actual, in person meetups/dates. People get cold feet, or change their mind, or find another before you, or just disappear. Maybe they weren't real or weren't who they said they were. Personally I've never stopped trying to message/date across multiple platforms and I had one platonic date* (hasn't gone further) with a new person in about Feb this year. The last new* person to meet/date (again just one meeting) was about two years before. *Not including catching up with any existing friends. I think with group events I wonder even though you CAN go out, maybe people might be hesitant on risks especially with possibly big groups, especially the risk of being literally quarantined for being in the wrong place at the wrong time based on registration leading to being deemed a contact of a contact etc? Or other percieved issues with giving such details within a "swinging" scene event/context? Just my mind musing about things anyway, who knows the situations behind people/profiles you never see.

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  • TopFun

    TopFun

    4 years ago

    I would get people who are “going” to pay for a ticket upfront lovely.

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  • ajaussie

    ajaussie

    4 years ago

    Hi. Very nice post and honestly written. Its very difficult and takes a lot of effort in organising the events and only who does it can understand the pain when people doesn't turn up and most of them don't have the courtesy of replying back........and no communications at all too. Cheers Aj

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  • ExclusivelyRHP

    ExclusivelyRHP

    4 years ago

    If you would like to reach out and message us. We can discuss how we have alot of success at our events. We like a specific formula and seems to help along the way. A quality profile and validations go along way. and we can tell you how to get people to commit.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    4 years ago

    Well documented and thanks for your efforts. I agree with your sentiments about just being decent and nice.

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  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    4 years ago

    Covid is a bitch. The world is changing. Orgies may be a thing of the past, unless all this clotting leads to women in heat

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  • sweetnsensual

    sweetnsensual

    4 years ago

    We agree we can put a lot of effort in finding a venue setting up menus, music, prizes and food. I think people think you just turn up and the events just happen. They take a lot of time to organise and run. We have people commit by purchasing a ticket and a very reasonable price to hopefully guarantee numbers but even then people cant turn up! Some for legitimate reasons and others who knows but we share your pain guys. You put a lot of effort into running your events and are very professional and fantastic hosts.

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    4 years ago

    That is a sad read to anyone thinking about hosting a meet and greet or something along those lines , sad but very well written ,our feelings go out to you for your hard work and lost effort , it’s also used to be saddening when we used used to see flirts party’s have massive numbers and many many saying yes they were going to the hosts themselves,and then on the night the amount of no shows was staggering but they did still manage to get great people and a good crowd together,there nights were always well represented , just not the numbers you would see online ,one particular event I recall they went above and beyond for a singles night due to public demand online , the amount of no shows was hideous ,so we maybe we are in the minority but feel a fee even, if it’s a small one would help people be more accountable Cos they have something to loose rather than nahhh cant be bothered really not that invested anyway or a similar attitude Cos it’s true they have nothing to loose by not turning up , even if you have plenty of hours and work involved ,yes it might not be a popular way to go about it ,but I’d say the turn up ratio would be much higher and you would have a fairer indicator of honest numbers ,and off course ,legit reasons would be refunded but just makes it a little more answerable than nahh ima a little bit tired ,had a headache or the Mrs pussy wasn’t feeling it tonight , Mr b

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  • sweetnsensual

    sweetnsensual

    4 years ago

    We arrange social events and charge a small fee for people to attend which at least gives then some reason to actually turn up! We often get 70 men express interest but those who actually buy a ticket are under 3 and the majority of the others are made up of couples and single women. We share your pain and often get last minute cancellations but we just go with the flow.

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  • dianet

    dianet

    4 years ago

    Asking for some financial deposit ahead of the event, even say $10, is enough to know who is actually interested in attending an event, and those who are time wasters or simply don't care. Always single guys are the disappointment, be it a party or for a date! 50 interested and 2 shows up. Kudos to the 2 though !!

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  • wanderlustQLD

    wanderlustQLD

    4 years ago

    @kinktemptation I've been meaning to reply to your post to say thanks for the organising that went into the meet-up you hosted back in March. You did a great job in the arranging + confirming which made it easy for to attend as a single woman. It can sometimes be a bit daunting when you're in another town + don't know anyone. You made it easy. I always get a lot out of face to face meet-ups 😉 Hang in there. I'm sure you'll get more traction soon + there are still plenty of people who appreciate what you're doing 😊

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  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    4 years ago

    I have been a site member for around 14 1/2 years now, and a number of others have been around for similar lengths. A common issue brought up over the years has been the continual lack of manners by others with regards to all sorts of issues here - unfortunately nothing new there. Feel for your effort and well written. TnH

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  • nightrain13

    nightrain13

    4 years ago

    I cant believe that what a poor effort on over a 100 people. Thats just not on... assholes. I woulda come but im in cairns :(

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  • Sex_magic

    Sex_magic

    3 years ago

    That's disgusting that only 8 people out of 125 showed up, I agree with you completely that common decency should play a role, if you say you are going then go, so what it's a sex night, you knew what it was when you registered your interest, who cares it's just sex, we all do it, I remember the first time I walked into a swingers club, my heart was pounding, I could have easily have turned around and walked away, but I didn't , I walked in, made my way up to the bar, and started chatting to the people up there, the girl I was with was equally as nervous, but the nerves soon disappeared, the people were great, and I had one of the most stimulating erotic nights I have ever experienced, had I of walked away none of that would have happened! And as for guys not turning up for Dates, WT actual F, you see these girls inboxes get smashed with messages, us genuine guys who will turn up, and will do what they say they will do, we get lost in the inboxes amongst a bunch of soft cock pussies, who just want the thrill of the chase, mind you having said that, there are probably just as many girls doing the same thing.

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  • CrystalChateau

    CrystalChateau

    3 years ago

    Hello @KinkTemptation you know us and we have exactly the same issues, it is extremely frustrating that so many will put their names down for events and just not show up (even if you remind them). We run a very large very dedicated venue and have done so for the BDSM community without going outside that cohort (lol isn't it funny how that is a word we all recognise now) but now we are finding we are having to move our promotions into the "vanilla" worlds of RHP and the other big site - and you know what? same disappointing results. It is very easy to come to our events, very easy to buy tickets, the people here are amazingly friendly (as you know) and yet it really doesn't matter what site we are on we get the same "yes I am interested" result but almost no one shows up. We stopped paying attention to RSVP lists some time ago. So people, as the OPSYS says, if you change your mind or can't come for some reason then remove your name from the list. As an organiser we rely on those lists to make decisions, use resources we can't afford to waste and commit to people or situations that are important to make an event happen. We have always supported events and are very happy to even support a competitors event and will say it to you too "If you want a venue (or event) to here for you tomorrow then you need to go to it today .... or you will have nothing left" We are the only dedicated BDSM venue left in Queensland .... guess why. Good luck @KinkTemptations, we look forward to the next time you come and visit us, you always have such an amazing time here.

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  • DonnaBrett

    DonnaBrett

    3 years ago

    Many people treat the "Interest" button as the "Like" button on Facebook. Same goes for datefinder on this site, they show interest but often don't follow through with meeting or even reply to messages, whether that's yay or nay. They're just dreamers and wannabes it would seem

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  • RHPCountry

    RHPCountry

    3 years ago

    We charge a nominal fee to attend any social meet and greet. This is done through eventbrite and we find people are more likely to attend if they have payed some money! It is dissapointing to have people not turn up but there are many reasons to why people dont or cant attend an event.

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  • EveningPleasures

    EveningPleasures

    3 years ago

    Well done on organising that, and a well-balanced wrap up despite an incredibly frustrating experience. We see a similar situation all too often with people that express interest in a datefinder, then don't even bother responding to a message, and find that frustrating, so are amazed at your positive outlook on this event. Hopefully your next event will be much better attended, and your efforts will pay off.

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    3 years ago

    I’m rarely on-site but thought to have a look at what’s happening event wise with Covid in the mix……. Congratulations for taking the time and effort, been there several times hosting. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it is to try and get people out let alone venues for an entire masse social Pie event. Give it another year until times are better, this won’t last forever. ~ Indy On Safari xx

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  • IMTHAMAN72

    IMTHAMAN72

    3 years ago

    the sad thing is you tried to do a good thing by showing people a good time and then they flake on you not cool at all.like you said it is the decency if they wasn't serious about going why hit "interest"..well I said my piece

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  • gccouple1709

    gccouple1709

    3 years ago

    Yes, a lot of "big talkers" but when it comes to walking the walk, they don't. We have hosted 2 previous parties and been disappointed by those that don't show up after confirming. We have another one coming up soon and decided to weed out the time wasters by getting pre-payment up front. It's surprising how many time wasters there are on here. (Even paid members which makes you wonder why they bother paying a monthly subscription when they are just all talk!)

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  • Jakepaulfan

    Jakepaulfan

    3 years ago

    mm

    reply

  • thicklust

    thicklust

    2 years ago

    Beautifully written and I couldn’t agree more.

    reply

  • 74modelverylowkm

    74modelverylowkm

    2 years ago

    When is the next event ?

    reply

  • nexlebetatest45

    nexlebetatest45

    one year ago

    Click to view content

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  • nexlebetatest45

    nexlebetatest45

    one year ago

    Click to view content

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  • tempered

    tempered

    one year ago

    this is a reply

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  • tempered

    tempered

    one year ago

    this is also a reply

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  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Hygghh

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Jutting justified her saying that I was just going through her own and I was like I was going on her phone with you guys I was like I was going

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Loannt is a good friend to me to help her

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Ehehehe

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Why you mad ?

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    LOL great

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Blue blue

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    one year ago

    Great improvement

    reply

  • youngsyd_cpl

    youngsyd_cpl

    8 months ago

    comment on forum

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  • platm

    platm

    24 days ago

    New Comment 2

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