Expecting too much

August 24 2019

I think I’ve been straight forward in my profile about what I’m looking for but the few times someone’s actually met up with me (a whole other topic) and organised to meet or talk again and when they haven’t without an explanation and I ask for one I get told I’m ‘asking too much or pushing it’. Personally I don’t think I am but would love to hear ur opinions

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    You're not expecting too much but unfortunately, in my opinion a lot of men have a few ladies on the go, chat wise or meeting wise and pick the most available person to meet and when they're done, they toss them aside for the next one. I am the least clingiest person I know and do not pursue someone that has ghosted me for the above reasons. In the early days, I wanted a reason as to why after what seemed to be a connection, communication abruptly stopped. I even thought that may be I was doing something wrong but soon realised that it was them that was so emotionally unavailable and messed up that they could treat women the way they did. I've stopped looking for now because it's mentally draining and I have better things to do with my time. It's not you, it's them.

  • Perth_Fifo_Guy

    Perth_Fifo_Guy

    5 years ago

    not all guys are the same....the ladies are very hot and cold too and dont reply.... I take time and reply or send a message and get a one line answer 🙄

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Quoting 'HappyGoLucky70' You're not expecting too much but unfortunately, in my opinion a lot of men have a few ladies on the go, chat wise or meeting wise and pick the most available person to meet and when they're done, they toss them aside for the next one. I am the least clingiest person I know and do not pursue someone that has ghosted me for the above reasons. In the early days, I wanted a reason as to why after what seemed to be a connection, communication abruptly stopped. I even thought that may be I was doing something wrong but soon realised that it was them that was so emotionally unavailable and messed up that they could treat women the way they did. I've stopped looking for now because it's mentally draining and I have better things to do with my time. It's not you, it's them. Most men on here are emotionally unavailable and prefer to fuck and discard, on to the next, even after amazing sex/connection. I think they worry women will want the picket fence. The reality is that many of us don't want that having already been there done that, but rather someone who actually makes us feel special, somewhat of a priority

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    5 years ago

    Maybe you are "pushing it" or "being pushy".... we dont have their side of it for comps afterall. Having said that, make sure you're paying attention to their verbal cues and body language etc during your meet..... you won't always be on the same page. And when you get that, "they're just not into moment"..... no biggy..... onto the next...... that's the glory of RHP...... there ALWAYS is a next. Chin up, have some fun with it xx

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    5 years ago

    And usually if more than one person is telling you the same the thing.... same feedback..... its likely something that you may be unaware of but worth looking into to change the outcome.

  • Eiliethiya

    Eiliethiya

    5 years ago

    pretty clear on what I want too. But guys either don't read a profile before messaging you, or they assume their wants are more important than yours and think they can 'change your mind' (or just lie to you) 🤷‍♀️

  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    5 years ago

    With the friends list you have, surely it’s not all that bad is it??

  • black_lace

    black_lace

    5 years ago

    Sometimes one line answer is all the question needs

  • black_lace

    black_lace

    5 years ago

    It’s only when they’ve made a plan with me that I expect a message saying it’s not happening, I don’t even need a reason just a bit of plain old common decency. And yes there are a few others I could make a physical connection with but I choose to only make one physical connection at a time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Ive met some lovely men here, who treat you like women and not one night fucks. They are out there so dont settle for less

  • black_lace

    black_lace

    5 years ago

    Thankyou everyone for your feedback. I’ll try and take most of in into account in future

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    5 years ago

    Maybe asking for an expliation after they have not followed through, is asking too much. If they have not followed through or made further contact they are just not that into you and lost interest. It happens to me where I loose interest. If they send me contact asking for an explanation it turns me off more, especially if I have not met them. There should be No pressure, no expectations. There is lots of great people on this site, I know as I have met them. Ms Foxy

  • black_lace

    black_lace

    5 years ago

    Thanku for your comment. I’m talking about people who I have met and who set a day and/or time with me. My time is just as valuable as anyone else’s. It happens to me too where I lose interest but I don’t just vanish, I cancel like a decent person should! I send a message to let them know I’ve changed my mind or something came up. I’ve never said there no great or even good people out there as I’ve met some great people of this site and others myself. I’m learning that respect and decency are hard to find these days and yes you are right, I shouldn’t expect people to be as honest as I am. no pressure, and no expectations shouldn’t mean no decency and no honesty.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Whether someone has gotten bored with someone or not. A simple answer to a question that's been asked is not too much to ask for. Yes sometimes the conversation fizzles due to lack of connection but when you've physically met and then, nothing, then it's just plain rude. Not everyone has the time to mess around.

  • johnkiwi

    johnkiwi

    5 years ago

    You are a beautiful lady stick to your guns and get what you want To hell with the rude arrogant men

  • ITEOTWAWKI

    ITEOTWAWKI

    5 years ago

    Hi gilf01,Firstly I think your profile does a great job defining exactly what you are seeking and that is great. Most profiles sadly have had very little thought put into them. Sadly manners and common decency seem to have fallen by the wayside in the modern era. Wouldn't it be great if we all considered that we shouldn't do things to other we wpu;d not appreciate being done to us.Treating people respectfully and decently doesn't cost anything. I don't think you are being unreasonable with what you are seeking at all. Unfortunately it would appear that you have been unfortunate in some of the individuals you have interacted with. That is not a reflection on you. That is on them and their character. I am sure you will find what you need. All the best on your search.

  • Mask_007

    Mask_007

    5 years ago

    Hi Gilf01. I don't think you are asking to much. Sean to me very reasonable. Maybe listen some og the girl and take you own conclusions from ... I would definitely would love to meet you if we closer... Good luck girl and keep going

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I Dont think you are expecting to much at all. A simple sorry I dont think we click and Im not interested but thank you and good luck is not hard, not everyone is going to connect and that's fine but an explanation is definitely deserved. This happens to all of us all to often but if thease people lack the respect and decency of an explanation then its probably better that thing's didn't pan out, just try not to take it to hart

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    When men get silence the answer is along the lines of suck it up your blocked. Of course when it happens to women it’s a massive offence. Not your fault OP but the women here have been training the men to do this for years.

  • FunLoving

    FunLoving

    5 years ago

    I think you should settle for what you want to settle for. On the other hand how long does it take to find what you are looking for. Which one is more important for you. We prefer your way but it takes a lot of time. We don't request an explanation because we know if the person starts to distance them self that it is not worth thinking about it. We can't control what people think or like.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I looked at your profile, I don't see you are asking too much, or pushing anything. You like and want what you like and want, don't change anything I say.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    Out in the real world , l get along with the majority or ppl ' both men and women. I was bought up in a era where manners and respect were the norm. But that doesn't always appear to be the case here ? Those who don't think its important or cant be bothered to reply are THE problem ? If you done the right thing and they don't, it's not worth belting yourself up . You cant change what other ppl think , but you can change your own way of looking at it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Your expectation of agreement to meet and meeting is fair. It's a part of the male population (or female or cpl) that are like this but not everyone. Keep your chin up ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    Females do the same thing .. not all males are the same .. if I say I will be some where then I will. If I send a lady a msg half of the time they don't respond and if they do they talk themselves up but when it comes to the crunch you don't hear from them ... but again that is not all ladies .