F108
Eye-roll
January 01 2016
Comments
-
PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
Oh Pepper, the 10 one is GOLD!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I award points for any science based hilarity
-
lovman8
9 years ago
I like corny jokes but cracker jokes are usually too corny and often repeated year after year.......... However -Q What do you call a penguin in the sahara desert? A. LostQ What do you get if you eat christmas decorations? A. Tinselitis
-
soretongue
9 years ago
There's a radio ad for pizza at the mo going around.. Q:what's 3+3? A:33. $33 for 3 pizzas n 3 sides for those playing at home. agree with Lovman on Christmas jokes, they're the worst lol - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Unless you fake lol - you must enjoy them a incy wincy bit. You can tell me. They're supposed to be bad - so that people can bond over cringing together. I mean what else do some people have to bond over at Christmas. Apart from mimosas that is.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' I award points for any science based hilarity Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side. :)
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t. Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?When he got the momentum he couldn't find the position, and when he had the right position, he couldn't muster up the momentum
-
RHP User
9 years ago
a joke though..I am in Jurien bay.. last evening I went into the Service station to grab some fuel for a run I was headed out on..As I went to pay, I saw a sign saying "Giant Cray Tales (Sic) for sale $5.00"I thought.. ""Fck.. good price....."I asked the man if he had any left...."Yep.. 5 bucks up front.."I paid for my both purchases on my credit card.. and as he handed my receipt, he started....."Once upon a time, there was a giant crayfish......."
-
soretongue
9 years ago
Where do snowmen go to dance? Snowballs! What's white and goes up? A confused snowflake... boom tish. hands up who was thinking something else for that last one 😜 1% Christmas cracker jokes may actually be gems..can't remember any tho. It'll just be our little secret but PepperRose k ...n everyone else who happens to read this particular forum 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Reality :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
precious142
9 years ago
do you call Bob the Builder when he retires? BOB
-
RHP User
9 years ago
What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive. Albert Einstein once told a joke - why did the road cross the chicken? Maths nerds in the peanut gallery - What do you get when you cross a chicken and a rock climber?You can't - a rock climber is a scalar ;)
-
RHP User
9 years ago
what did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?I don't know he hasn't opened it yet
-
RHP User
9 years ago
You guys! I do so love it when you get your dork out. Where do Astronauts hang out? The space bar. and I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not." Justin_T - your dirty little secret is safe with me.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Kiwi with one leg shorter then the other??"Not EVEN Bro....!! "
-
RHP User
9 years ago
That awkward moment when a zombie is out looking for brains...and walks right by you.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon... Will let you know
-
RHP User
9 years ago
What is the most priceless thing in the world?......a dead cat.becuse who can put a price on a dead cat ? 😁XxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
From Groucho Marx....Outside of a dog man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog it's too hard to read 😂xxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Is the difference between snot and broccoli ?....kids don't like broccoli .😂xxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Why do srippers get mad when you hand them monopoly money, I mean, are they real boobs?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mums room. I cant believe it. She's a superhero !!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Rene Descartes went to a local tavern, the bartender approached and said "Good evening Monsieur Descartes, would you like the usual drink?". Descartes replied "I think not", and vanished. Life is complex, it has real and imaginary components.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Went after his horse 😝xxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Batman! But I got there, without google.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' I seriously just read on someone's profile they're in a plutonic relationship. Oooh, to have that kind of explosive chemistry... or she's very distant, controversial, and nobody is quite sure what to refer to her as? good with dogs and an extreme Disney obsession?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
What do you say when you're comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're... What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
-
Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' What do you get when you cross a goat and a human? Kicked out of the petting zoo. :-\ Can't help thinking there is a sheep & Kiwi joke here somewhere ? (But maybe you're pulling the wool over my eyes)
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15C and still be 0k? Helium walks into a bar.The bartender says "we don't serve noble gases here"Helium doesn't react.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
A really dirty sheep joke..and it's name isn't Shawn..xxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
What do you say to a kiwi standing still? Statue bro? What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto
-
RHP User
9 years ago
wanna hear a dirty joke?? The boy fell in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke? The boy had a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a rude joke? Bubbles was the girl next door.. :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Bubbles was MJacksons chimp. The boys profile( he just turned 18) on RHP had Anything for preference.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
bahahahaha Reminds me of that movie "any which way but loose" :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
"ORGASMS" a girl can have....A positive Orgasm - she goes.. "Oh Yes.. OH Yes... Oh Yeeeeeesssss"A Negative Orgasm - she goes "On NO.. Oh Noo... Oh Noooooooo"A Spiritual Orgasm - she goes "OH God.. Oh Go-od.. Oh Go oo oo oo od"A FAKE Orgasm - she goes.. "Oh Stirry.. Oh Stirry.. Oh yes stirry....."..So I am told anyway.....
-
RHP User
9 years ago
"ORGASMS" a girl can have....A positive Orgasm - she goes.. "Oh Yes.. OH Yes... Oh Yeeeeeesssss"A Negative Orgasm - she goes "On NO.. Oh Noo... Oh Noooooooo"A Spiritual Orgasm - she goes "OH God.. Oh Go-od.. Oh Go oo oo oo od"A FAKE Orgasm - she goes.. "Oh Stirry.. Oh Stirry.. Oh yes stirry....."..So I am told anyway.....
-
RHP User
9 years ago
THAT posted a bit Weird!!!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Bored? Text random numbers "Im pregnant"
-
RHP User
9 years ago
The barman asked "what'll it be?" The first man replied "I'll just have H2O" The second man said "I'll have H2O too" The second man died. 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
bahahahaha - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
The expensive crackers seem to have to worst jokes but the best gifts... i got the worlds smallest sticky tape dispenser for mine...Totally useless too i might add... Ok here goes... What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party??? Freeze a jolly good fellow!!! Or What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas dinner??? Twerky!!!
-
Genius_Ironman
9 years ago
What do you get if you cross Typhoid Mary with Sir Edmund Hillary? Nothing, a vector does not cross with a scalar. Rene Descartes walks into a bar. Barman says "Want a beer?" Rene says "I think not", and vanishes. The barman says "What will you have?" A faster than light particle walks into a bar. Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath? He took 1/50th of the recommended dose. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Non xmas quickie... NURSE TO DOCTOR " Doctor what on Earth are you doing??? DOCTOR "I'm writing a prescription what does it look like" !!! NURSE "But that's a thermometer you've got in your hand"!!! DOCTOR Oh shit... Some arseholes' got my pen!!!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The batman replies, "For you, no charge." Did you hear about the drunken magician's favourite trick? Walking down the road and turning into a bar.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Hydrogen peroxide is actually quite drinkable.. in small quantities..I used to order it in at 35% and water it down.(mix it in pure orange juice.. )In the lead-up to the Olympic games in Sydney 2000, it became VERY difficult to obtain..and.. to all intents and purposes, at that grade it still is.. but not impossible.I did have a run in with the chemist and Police when I bought my last lot in Australia in 1999..Now.. when I want it, I import it.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I'd rather cuddle then have sex.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Schrödinger is driving when he is pulled over by a police officer. The officer opens his car boot and finds a dead cat. "Did you know there was a dead cat in here?" The police officer asks"Well, now I do!" said Schrödinger
-
RHP User
9 years ago
we need a "Eye rolling" emoticon...
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I know it can be taken in small doses ☺. It is shown to be beneficial to cancer patients, as it oxygenates the body, making it difficult for cancer to survive. But, a glass of it straight, will kill you. The joke does not cease to be funny, in my view ☺. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goes in tight 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Quoting 'good_times22' I know it can be taken in small doses ☺. It is shown to be beneficial to cancer patients, as it oxygenates the body, making it difficult for cancer to survive. But, a glass of it straight, will kill you. The joke does not cease to be funny, in my view ☺. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goes in tight 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile What do you say to a German Virgin "Niche-in tite"
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'good_times22'It is shown to be beneficial to cancer patients, as it oxygenates the body, making it difficult for cancer to survive. probably the most subtle funny so far, I like how you hid this one in there with the sandwich method: fact, joke, fact. 100 kilopascals go into a bar.It must have great atmosphere?Nah, pretty standard. Gold walks into a bar, the bartender shouts "Ay you, get out of here!"
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' *high-pitched voice* HeHeHe! :-P a noble effort ;)
-
new_beginning
9 years ago
Tears reading all these posts... Summer, pepper and Justin... No alcohol needed 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys. there's such a stark difference between those two
-
RHP User
9 years ago
"Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise."
-
RHP User
9 years ago
and saw 4 pale bearers carrying a coffin. I drove past 3 hours later and they were still walking around. I thought to myself, They've lost the plot - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Q- What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?thumpthumpthumpthumpthump A- Here come the elephants. :-P......Q- What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with sunglasses on?thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpA- Nothing... He didn't recognise them. :-Peachy
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Who's there?.Dr.Dr Who?.Dr Who from channel 2. .:-Peachy
-
RHP User
9 years ago
A priest, a doctor and an engineer are golfing. Ahead of them is a group playing incredibly slowly. They play through and ask about them back at the clubhouse. The manager says "Oh, they're a group of firefighters blinded last year saving the clubhouse"."That's awful" says the priest "I'll pray for them"."How tragic" says the doctor "I'm an ophthalmologist, I can see them pro bono"*"Why don't they just play at night?" says the engineer. *no pun intended ;)
-
MrMechanic
9 years ago
2 Kiwis talking about religion and one of them asks Hey Cuz, what's a Hindu ? Other replies Aww I reckon it lays eggs Bro
-
MrMechanic
9 years ago
Why did the Rooster cross the road ?To fuck the chicken on the other side.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Why did the chicken cross the road?.Because it saw the zebra crossing.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share