F54
Falling in love again...
April 24 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
give it time...I for one love being in love, and have been lucky to have loved many men in my life who have all brought something special into my life
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RHP User
12 years ago
I may not be seeking love consciously, but I'm open to the possibility of it finding me. With whom?? Who knows, but that's what I love about live.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Love about love....autocorrect- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I fell in love with Mr IAT quickly at age 18 - i've never loved anyone since. It's always him :-)But OP, I can well imagine that I would struggle to love again if something happened to our partnership (yikes) but perhaps I would focus on all the wonderful things that loving another person means to me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The collapse of my marriage took the wind out of my sails in a big way, and I was unwilling to let anyone get that close to me again for fear of once again being burned. I also felt I wasn't good enough to have someone love me, and felt incapable of giving someone the love they deserved.It is only recently - as in, probably the last 6 months or so - that I've come back from feeling that way. I think it's a natural thing to feel while we go through the grieving process - not necessarily grieving for the loss of our ex-partner, but rather the loss of the relationship that was so much part of our lives for so long.While it may still never happen, if it looks like it will, I'm not going to fight it any more.I do, however, reserve the right to be incredibly fussy about any potential partner though
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RHP User
12 years ago
but I'll stick to being in love with everyone. I don't believe in the 'one true love' thingy. I tried it a couple of times and it's not for me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am just scared of losing someone, which is a terrible pain around the heart.But then I could imagine separating after a long relationship feels the same.I found I will sabotage a going good start when I like someone, scare the shit out of them so they stop and think I am insane and clingy. HahahWhat I am not, believe me, lol, I am sooo sane, when you meet me in person. I am slowly come to the conclusion this is my defense mechanism to never getting to close with the "ONE".Does this make sense????
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RHP User
12 years ago
At the end of my 20 year dysfunction, completely unhealthy relationship I thought I would never want a man near me, let alone a permanent one in my life. It took three years of serious soul searching before I realised what I did want. Two years of sensational recreational sex later (thanks guys of RHP ) I met a man for coffee.... first meet. I have seen him nearly every day for 15 months now and can not imagine my life without him. You do indeed need to be mentally ready. You do need the time to heal and discover what it is you want. Mr McHardon yes you are worthy of love...... we all are! I don't think anyone should shut the door on any possibilities. When we do that, we are limiting our lives, restricting our future relationships. In a way we are letting all those that hurt us and let us down win! I refuse to let my ex have the satisfaction of winning! I deserve the best life has to offer and I will strive to find it until the day I die!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Being in love. There is no better feeling. Having said that I can fall out of love quite easily. Which begs the question was it really love? For myself, I just know that I am addicted to those chemicals which are released when being in that head over heels state. When I don't have them I literally crave them. Many people can induce these feelings and reactions in us. Is there one true love for us all? I don't know. If so I haven't yet found him. I think I may be running out of time looking for him as well, so it would seem I just have to keep trying. All I know is I yearn for it, but then when I had it I let it go.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Awesome, I remembered a soulmate thread from last year when I was on here. It was about soulmates, and whether people belived that you could have just one...my response was this:If you had asked me after my divorce, I would have said that soulmates probably don't exist, even if i did want to believe them, now I believe that this unfamliar ache i feel when i am so far away from partner is something to do with my soul. I remember reading an earlier post on this thread, where someone said that there may be multiple soulmates, and that they would come into your life at different points. I like that idea, I could consider some of my closest friends, those I refer to as family, that know all of my past transgressions, and triumphs and have helped shape me into who I am, soulmates. But this woman that I have met, she makes all my loved ones, everything i care about seem insignificant. Now sadly due to circumstance we can not be together, but i whole heartidly believe in love again, but waht i must confess is that it will not (in my experience) be the same type. What I felt for wife ( she was my first true love) was different to waht I felt for the woman i described above. The difference i think is context. I met my wife when we were 17. We grew up together, but developed differing views, expectations and wants. The young lady I decribed above, I met here on the forums. We knew nothing of one another until here. We talked openly and freely about everything. We were unashamed of any facet of our lives. the truth and honest was liberating to me, and i fell in love with a woman who although had many differing qualities to myself, still managed to enchant and amaze me, in ways i had never known.I could go on and on but my point is. With time, and allowing things to just occur, I believe any one can fall in love again
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RHP User
12 years ago
so I am not good at believing in it except for the love of my children and my dog and my husband , but its more the silent deep love of a person who will catch me when I fall the piss in my pocket and your so hot baby and let me sweep you off my feet Not a hope in hell do I fall for that crap but I know may people that long for someone to be with them and to share thats the depth of love to share the good bad and the ugly I do hope that everyone finds love, and in the doing is happy
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RHP User
12 years ago
your posts always comfort me Your right about the the having someone to share everything with. I miss having someone who is there beside you, that you can support unwaiveringly, and have the same returned to you. the silent moments, nothing said, where your both just enjoy being toegther, even if it is doing the dishes or something trivial. I hate the yearning for my partner when I travel for work, or when we are apart, but at the same time i welcome it, because they are never far from my thoughts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
but i didn't know what love was until i met my wife, that was 32 years ago now and i think i love her more now than ever. But i do fall in lust almost daily, but at my age it's more a case of my brain writing cheques my body can't cash!
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RHP User
12 years ago
scares the heck out of me...as I have never been in Love...that's the honest truth!!However in saying that - I can honestly say "my heart is open", they would have to be really special to get anywhere near my heart tho - as I guard that from it being broken cause I reckon that would hurt!I believe everyone seeks Love - that need to be needed and wanted.I just love my Freedom right now and not sure if I could give that up l..I think about that a lot and I think that is what scares me.OP you certainly said the right thing about "HEALING"...one needs to HEAL to find that True Love I reckon.Great topic FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you're already HAPPY - can "Love" make one more happier than they already are, being happy??Is Love being Happy?? FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Because I dont want to fall in love, I try not to give too much of myself to anyone at any one time.. I know this will sound like I'm a bit of a player ' but there are 3 friends 'girls' , all quite stunning I know I could fall for if I drop my guard.. Each shows interest and all have their own individual quirks that warms my feelings towards them... Its when I get this warm feeling, I work real hard and put up my barriers and mind talk to discourage whats happening.. I really dont like finding myself being drawn in to a place I dont want to be... and I know I will lose some friends, but thats just the way it is these days... Its the chemistry thats the killer, fighting nature is damn hard....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'anybodyjustnow'Awesome, I remembered a soulmate thread from last year when I was on here. It was about soulmates, and whether people belived that you could have just one...my response was this:If you had asked me after my divorce, I would have said that soulmates probably don't exist, even if i did want to believe them, now I believe that this unfamliar ache i feel when i am so far away from partner is something to do with my soul. I remember reading an earlier post on this thread, where someone said that there may be multiple soulmates, and that they would come into your life at different points. I like that idea, I could consider some of my closest friends, those I refer to as family, that know all of my past transgressions, and triumphs and have helped shape me into who I am, soulmates. But this woman that I have met, she makes all my loved ones, everything i care about seem insignificant. Now sadly due to circumstance we can not be together, but i whole heartidly believe in love again, but waht i must confess is that it will not (in my experience) be the same type. What I felt for wife ( she was my first true love) was different to waht I felt for the woman i described above. The difference i think is context. I met my wife when we were 17. We grew up together, but developed differing views, expectations and wants. The young lady I decribed above, I met here on the forums. We knew nothing of one another until here. We talked openly and freely about everything. We were unashamed of any facet of our lives. the truth and honest was liberating to me, and i fell in love with a woman who although had many differing qualities to myself, still managed to enchant and amaze me, in ways i had never known.I could go on and on but my point is. With time, and allowing things to just occur, I believe any one can fall in love again meet this woman in the flesh? the thing that does worry me is people falling in love on line. it can turn them into stalkers with all the imagined things people seem to be rather than what they really are love takes a lot of sacrifice, pain, hard slog and compromise, non of these apply to internet or phone conversations I know of a few women who have had the self illusion that someone was the love of their life from only online stuff and have told others, they meet their love and that he is into me. only to find the man is not into them, has just been getting in to deep with his typing and mills and boon skills then they guy wonders why he is a arsehole, and being stalked by a woman. there is no such thing as internet love, its just crack for your sexual imagination picture this, he writes sooooooooooooooo good he does such hot phone sex he loves puppy dogs and walking barefoot in the rain he is soooooooooooo into oral sex he loves to kiss you on the neck yada yada type type type and he turns up you take a look and you put your hand out for a handshake cause your heart just hit your boots and you get a wake up call that you are NOT attracted to this person at all so that is why I am asking did you meet this woman in the flesh?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox'If you're already HAPPY - can "Love" make one more happier than they already are, being happy??Is Love being Happy?? I had a think about this just now on the train. I think being in love can equal being happy. But having someone love you back just as much might then be happy squared. For me, I'm totally open to the idea in the future. I can't see it happening at the moment though, as I'm having too much fun exploring.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why its worth it When you are in bed with a cold, your nose is red your eyes puffy He comes up to the bed with a hot lemon tea and says “Your beautiful”, and smiles and hands you the cup-pa When your a grumpy cow and are snippy with him, he just smiles and goes out into his shed, till you get over it. Then he says that’s ok hon, and cups your bum as you walk out of the shed, after you apologise for being a bitch He is not afraid to hold his children , still bloody from birth, and kisses you on the forehead and says “Well done hon.” You can sit in a room with someone you love and not say a word to each other, and feel happy. Late at night, when the world is sleeping you can curl up against a person, and feel safe and a man feels like he is brave enough to protect you no matter what. Love is worth it, but it can be costly and sometimes it has a use by date. It can be one shape at some point in time, then shift to another shape but its still called love. It can be as long as a piece of string and be cut just as easy with the sharp edge of life. And foxy , it will find you no matter how hard you run from it Love is an athlete and Olympian of all sports, its faster, stronger, enduring, graceful, flexible you don’t have a chance when it decides to catch you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Love may be an Olympian, but I can fly a plane.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tuscan you make a very good point. To answer your query yes we met in person. I was actually very wary at first. I wasn't looking love, I wasn't actually looking for a relationship at the time either. We messaged for a while, we spoke often, when we met it was magic. Everything was perfect. If you would like to know the rest of the story I am happy to talk to you privately, but I'd rather not post it all here, suffice to say that I did everything that I could and sacrificed almost all that I am to make things work. There is not a Morning that goes by that I don't wake and miss her
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RHP User
12 years ago
Awesome71, for your consideration..Love is who you are..You are Love..Wary and doubtful is who you are not..You will again be who you really are, when you're all finished with being who you are not.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's an interesting concept love. I've been in love many times, but only ever with the same three men. The first was the man i married, i went on to fall in love with him many times over the following 26 years. Love is cyclical and when you are together many years you get to experience many reincarnations of your love for each other. The second was a lover - a hard, fast and passionate experience that was over too quickly ....and frankly left me more hurt than the break up of my marriage. Having said that it also lifted me to heights not previously experienced. I learnt so much about myself and my sexuality that it was well worth the experience, good and bad. I walked awy from these two experiences feeling as though i could never love again, never trust again and that i certainly wouldn't be letting the shield down any time soon. But over the last 6 months or so, there's been an imperceptible shift, slowly, sneakily my mind has been changed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'anybodyjustnow'your posts always comfort me Your right about the the having someone to share everything with. I miss having someone who is there beside you, that you can support unwaiveringly, and have the same returned to you. the silent moments, nothing said, where your both just enjoy being toegther, even if it is doing the dishes or something trivial. I hate the yearning for my partner when I travel for work, or when we are apart, but at the same time i welcome it, because they are never far from my thoughts. I am comming over , still in my fluffy PJs and with my pillow so you can tell Aunty TR alllllllllll about it ohh bugga just missed the virgin flight, arsholes said I was not a virgin...mutter mutter mutter
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RHP User
12 years ago
in love is the easy bit.The chemical cocktail,the rush of the emotional roller coaster,staying there is so much harder.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' in love is the easy bit.The chemical cocktail,the rush of the emotional roller coaster,staying there is so much harder. but my grip isn't so good. Teflon hands at the moment.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hear and read a lot about how wonderful love is and then I read and the heartbreaks that go with...It's really scary that something so strong and powerful can destroy ones soul and heart..Yet it is suppose to be this amazing feeling that makes people feel good. I believe there are many depths of Love...To actually be in Love is truly special, so special and amazing that it changes ones self and heart.... FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I believe what Freya quoted is true...I think people crave for that rush of falling in love but yet forget to maintain it...and before you know it that love is gone if not maintained on a daily basis. Is love an action as well?? All this small things another does to make you feel good and returned... *LOL I am confused now!* FOXY
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ArtemisLuna
12 years ago
IMO Love is trust..there are varying degrees & types. They are interchangeable and co-dependent, love cannot exist without trust....if you can learn to trust again (& to trust yourself) there is hope. Reminds me of the saying 'is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?'...... Is it better to have been born, lived a happy and eventful life then died or to have never been born? MrsLuna- Posted from rhpmobile
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