M44

Family member suspected of swinging? Embrace or Reject

February 10 2017

One of the hardest things in my life was accidentally finding out my grand parents were swingers. This came about when I was in charge of their estate after passing away. It is amazing what you find in the attic. Before the estate sale, my job was to clean the attic, there in the far corner I found an interestingly old dusty dirty box which was decorated. What I found inside were letters of desire. I found out my grand parents, my grand father an ex WWII American Navy Veteran and his wife(my grandmother) had couple swapped when they were younger . And they expressed their feelings through letters. Reading these letters made my feel okay because I understood that nowmodern day we are open to the lifestyle but for them it was hard to explain and taboo to others, lucky they had each other to chat to. I destroyed the letters so that other family members would not know. I honestly believed my other family members would not have understood and been open to the lifestyle like I do and have through the years. How would you cope if you found out some family members were dirty swingers just like you???

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RHP User

8 years ago

I find the story a tad romantic! How lucky they were to love and lust openly to each other. Their love has endured their lifetime it seems. The older I get the more I feel the scales bend. My thoughts go from: I care completely and thou shalt not be complacent to take us how we are or flog off! I love our little community that hubby and I have built because I feel I can be the most real there. Not just sexually but deeper and expose my moods too. People outside know, a scattering of them. I have mixed reactions but I don't mind so much. My close friends who find me mentioning anything to do with it quite perplexing- they still hang with me, and I still share my life. That's the beauty of love and friendship. I think if more of my family come to know, they will be more shocked by my explanation that I was happy before and am happy now. Our participation fluctuates like any hobby or interest or lifestyle. I have always been a very free thinker, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for them to see me as a dirty swinger! I admit I don't like writing that though! I just hope we end up with the letters too. L_D xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I shower....that then makes me clean - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

How sad that, in this day and age, we still feel the need to destroy something which was a beautiful part of history because of taboo. That must have been so lovely to read, OP. Although I wouldn't have destroyed it but put it somewhere safe (safe deposit box?) 😉 I would love to know that my ancestors/grandparents, parents or any member of my family were/are swingers, so I won't feel so much like the black sheep of the family 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I'm not a swinger but I'd never think any less of them. It doesn't change who they are or were. If they were still alive, I'd probably have lots of questions and be interested to hear their stories. If they weren't alive when I had found out, I'd feel a little bit of regret that I didn't know before they died. - Posted from rhpmobile

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Mischeviouslad

8 years ago

The topic heading caught my eye and was a bit different to the rest of the writings. At first I thought.... it's not really your place to judge the lives of others just as you'd not wish to be judged by them for your choices.... which you even stated that other family members wouldn't be supportive if. But why should they support what they're not a part of?! I can understand why you destroyed the letters. But I don't feel they were your property to destroy. I don't know what I would have done in your shoes though so I respect your position. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I discovered some family members are into swinging by accident. It's never been discussed but I couldn't care less! Not everybody is so open minded though. I'd be proud if I found out my grandparents were!! lol I'd know where my kinky streak came from :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I think as we grow to care less about popular opinion and more on how we be the person we all want to be without hurting others, then these things become more of a beautiful insight. The question is this, Did your grandparents love you? Did they attend and share your important life milestones? Were they good people, and treated others well? If those things are yes, that's all that is important. Should I find this out, or my daughter, son etc find out about me, I hope they have a giggle, say some funny wired stories after my passing as it no doubt will be a great conversation topic for years to come...... Lol So, as my header says, it's no different to finding your mum's sex toys, at the time, when your young its all weird, but when you grow older and your partner has them to enjoy with you, you realise your parents are human like you. - Posted from rhpmobile

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swingalingson

8 years ago

Well there is more to the story. When this happened I was 21yrs old. I had only started swinging for 3 years. And the internet was just in its infancy. I will post the rest of the story......

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RHP User

8 years ago

It would give us something to talk about at least. Wouldn't bother me one iota. And may cut fown on taxi fares to parties and clubs in the long run lol. Some of our family members know about our lifestyle and some are very curious to say the least lol.

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RHP User

8 years ago

of the family?

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swingalingson

8 years ago

thanks to all who have read this forum. Wow I am humbled by the response. SWINGA SON!!

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RHP User

8 years ago

it wouldnt bother me - I'd be curious and want to discuss it with them

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MadhattersCat

8 years ago

Is monogamy hereditary ? While asking yourself this question at your next family function, picture the swingers gatherings that your siblings may be attending. The odds are possibly higher than we know.

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RHP User

8 years ago

I don't think you should have destroyed them either. But kept them safe. I don't care who knows about me being here, or that I go the swingers clubs etc. and I woukd be thrilled to find out if any of my family members were the same. 😊 I don't think the term "dirty swinger" is helpful though, negative connotations and all that jazz. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I don't think you should have destroyed them either. But kept them safe. I don't care who knows about me being here, or that I go the swingers clubs etc. and I woukd be thrilled to find out if any of my family members were the same. 😊 I don't think the term "dirty swinger" is helpful though, negative connotations and all that jazz. - Posted from rhpmobile

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Tall74nHard9

8 years ago

really a pity that you felt the need to have destroyed the letters. My thoughts are as with some of the others here - it would have been nice to keep that piece of history for future generations, so that lifestyles of the previous generations could have been understood and explained in first hand writings. Such a precious piece of history / memorabilia. After all, the current generations are not the first to have the knowledge of sexual alternative lifestyles - it has been going on long before we could record history (I would suspect). Tall

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Family member suspected of swinging? Embrace or Reject

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