CrackUp

CrackUp

F64

Fantasies..

July 09 2012

I was just reading back over a post I made some while ago with regard to solo masturbating whilst having a partner and how that was viewed by the readers. As I read through the responses...there were varied views as to be expected but one that really stood out in my mind was that of.. 'what's the person thinking about whilst they are masturbating (solo)'. That got me to thinking....does our partners 'fantasies' bother us...if they remain closed and not discussed within the bonds of the relationship? I personally have found, sharing my 'fantasies' actually dilutes them and takes away from the powerfulness of their ability to arouse me, same as making them 'real'. Not popular to say on a site like this I'm sure, but .. it's true for me. Having bisexual encounters, threesomes, foursomes .. etc etc.. whilst 'fun' in that teenage experimental kind of way, they have never 'rocked' me as powerfully as the fantasy has. Anyway, back to my point - do you feel 'threatened' by your partner having fantasies and even more so, if they refuse to share them with you? And if so, what is it...that scares you so?

Comments

  • zoe69r

    zoe69r

    12 years ago

    i would have to agree with you that the best fantasies are the ones left in your head as those that become reality seem to loose there lust. being a bi xdressing guy i have all theses hot n steamy fantasies running around in my head but im worried that if i make them become a reality they wont live upto my expectations and it will be such a let down.i've met a lovely lady and ive told her some of them to her and she loves to hear them and wants to help with some of them.one of them is to be able to go to a fancy dress party xdressd and be groped and touched up by everyone , including all the girls ,and then to be used as a slut by all the guys and girls with strapons ,lol and do all sorts of naughty things,but will this become reality more than likely not . and does my "partners" fantasies scare me of course not they are her thoughts and i say just go with the flow and enjoy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i had a partner who regularly fantasied about teenage boys.. we are talking late teens here, final school years.i was more intrigued by this than threatened by it. she felt guilty and was very coy about discussing it initially. I think it was only a fantasy and probably did not mean that much. but i never felt threatened or insecure.actually i have this strong conviction that insecurity (and anger) are something we choose or allow our selves to feel. they are weaknesses in our character that we need to deal with.life is so much happier without feeling angry and insecure ~smiles~

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Well first of all, it's that wicked feeling of being able to have your own 'dirty little secrets'. The human imagination has no boundaries.... However in deliberately keeping them from your partner indicates that you probably know that they're unable to act out those fantasies and you don't want to reveal your partner's potential 'inability'. Similarly, a person may be intimidated by their partner's unspoken fantasies as they may know that they are unable to act them out. After all, we each want to please our most intimate partners with all aspects in their life, and disclosing to them a fantasy that you know well that they are incapable of fulfilling will only bring up feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.

  • CrackUp

    CrackUp

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'City_Kitty' Well first of all, it's that wicked feeling of being able to have your own 'dirty little secrets'. The human imagination has no boundaries.... However in deliberately keeping them from your partner indicates that you probably know that they're unable to act out those fantasies and you don't want to reveal your partner's potential 'inability'. Similarly, a person may be intimidated by their partner's unspoken fantasies as they may know that they are unable to act them out. After all, we each want to please our most intimate partners with all aspects in their life, and disclosing to them a fantasy that you know well that they are incapable of fulfilling will only bring up feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.I think for me Kitty, it is more a matter of ... it's 'hidden'.. the element of secrecy and being my 'own' dirty little secret makes it far more stimulating. I don't consider it as a lack in my sexual partner, that I derive such stimulation from my fantasies...just that my imagination is rich and I can wield it in any way thinkable...it 'adds' to my sexual experience whether that be if I am playing alone...or with someone. I think that is why I was asking...I hadn't even considered that someone could feel...'intimidated' by me being sexually turned on by mine own thoughts instead of their physical presence. In truth, it is actually a combination of the two elements for me...which makes a pleasing sexual experience.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I learnt this VERY early...   "A serious wank is far better then a silly root"   Of course.... IF you are comfortable in your own skin, and not intimidated by your partners exquisite aand dirty little fantasies.. then... WOW!!! can you have some fun with them!!!   Honestly?? I have had girls talk about "FANTASIES" that.. IF I dwelt on them, they would SCARE me. Some, I am sure should have been reported to various authorities... Others to professional societies, and maybe some fo them should have been written into book form and titled "The reason WHY Sigmund Freud was F^^^^d in the head"   BUT,they are just fantasies... to all intents and purposes... At least, I hope they stayed that way..   caveman.. (has been scared)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Interesting, and before I flung open the doors separating fantasy and reality (well, they are still partly closed LOL) I would have thought along your lines. I think sometimes elements of the reality aren't as you would have them. However, a rote performance of your fantasy? Hmmmmmmm I think part of the enjoyment in my case, is that things drift away from the set plot. It's out of your control. I guess, part of my life was trying to maintain control at all times. Glad I've been letting that go a bit.Case in point: read the experience I had in the Bisex forum. A first for a dag like myself. Hot as fuck, though!!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I guess the 2 main points with fantasies are that 1) Some aren't confident or ashamed of what they fantasise about. It could be shy girls/guys that love to dominate, but their shy nature prevents them to just let go and explore their fantasies.2) There is always the "I imagined it to be better". Depending on what the fantasy is, but there is a chance that it might not turn out the way you want to, and then point 1 kicks in a lot harder to some. You go back to just keeping it in your head rather then keep trying it out.I personally like the whole Dr. Jackal Mr. Hyde. Gentleman in the streets and a animal in the bed.Sometimes it can be a bit difficult, but generally I'm confident enough to explore fantasies with an open mind.I guess everyone is different.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm not sure i agree with this. but it has made me think.i've often regretted saying no to an offer of shared sex. but have never really regretted saying yes or asking someone..even bad sex gave me something to take away. even if it was a sense of embarrassment or a hard lesson LOL..but i am thinking of having a T-shirt printed cavey ~grins~ Quoting 'cavey50' I learnt this VERY early...   "A serious wank is far better then a silly root"

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i think fantasies are amazing.....i (F) do love sharing them with my hubby though...simply because i find it allows him to get to know me, on a deeper level...(and who knows, maybe one day he'll surprise me, by making one true...)we can have amazing plays...while he is teasing my mind...working me up, by telling me,how my fantasy would play out...fantasizing while masturbating is also greatalthough i find my fantasies become more wild then...and the contexts are usually something, i would never do in the real life...(like getting tied up and gang banged by 6 guys...lol)but hell it's sexy imagining that the girl in the movie is me...my biggest fantasy however has always been MFM play....but as someone has mentioned it before...often the reality is far substandard, compared with my imagination....out of the three occasions, my man indulged me, in MFM play...two ended up being very bellow pair...and they turned out to be selfish lovers, with no sensuality, or imagination...and i wanted my money back...so now, i am threading very carefully....all men will say , what a woman wants to hear...i.e. they are giving, unselfish, love to please, etc....but a very few can actually deliver...and the rest is just "wham bam thank you ma'am"...really, i am starting to wander if some fantasies are meant to remain fantasies...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If our sexual fantasies were truly of interest to other people they would not remain fantasies for long.....sometimes, the reality is even better than the fantasy ever could be...not often but sometimes...and helping another realize their fantasy, is a very hot fantasy.x Hesione Fantasising

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... how often I get asked to divulge mine. I'll never tell! My fantasies are mine alone to assist in the ol' rub a dub dub. I don't ask either. If someone wants to share, they will on their own accord.

  • CrackUp

    CrackUp

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Hesione' If our sexual fantasies were truly of interest to other people they would not remain fantasies for long.....sometimes, the reality is even better than the fantasy ever could be...not often but sometimes...and helping another realize their fantasy, is a very hot fantasy.x Hesione FantasisingI guess Hesione, it depends on the content of the 'fantasy'. Some people carry dark fantasies about inside themselves and indeed, a fantasy, private and undisclosed they should remain. Making them reality I should think, may at best, have someone arrested and at worst lynch mobbed.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I wholeheartedly agree with you. It's one of the reasons I don't ask :-( you just never know what the answer may be. KK xx

  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    12 years ago

    Its posts like these that make me realize how great it would be to have someone to share thoughts with. Arh being single means my fantasys stay my own

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    School girl , sexy sweet,licking an ice cream   Reality = fat old chick in her old school uniform with peter pan collar, stockings with suet thighs mushrooming over the top. Licking and ice cream with front teeth missing. Fantasy Guy handed a costume and told this will stop traffic baby, do it for me Reality he ends up in a bird suit on the highway advertising greasy chicken sticks Fantasy Hey baby want a threesome. Guy gets it hard and then finds out its not with another girl but with another guy. Fntasy Getting pulled over by the cops, and bent over the bonnet skirt lifted and given a right royal fuck Reality= ten demerit points and a suspended sentence   Cougar fantasy   Exchange messages arrange to meet and find out its your mums best friend who used to baby sit you and change your diaper   Fantasy to reality often gets lost in translation

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Like mine..   I come home.. the "One in my life" says.. "go get comfortable in bed hunnii... I am up for anal tonight.." I go to bed.. get excited.. she comes in girded with a 10 inch srtap on!!!!!!!!!!!!!   LRE :) you been there too mate :)   cavey

  • playful4u

    playful4u

    12 years ago

    We have shared all our sexual fantasies with each other, even the new ones we think up. That is partly why we are here on RHP, to see some of them come to fruition. It feels like a special freedom we get to enjoy that perhaps others couples do not.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hmmm I have found most fantasies translate pretty well to reality maybe some aren't as"kick arse" as I thought but by law of averages that is bound to happen. I have one or 2 that I would love to become a staple lol but by only being occasional I think that is what makes them special. I have met 2 women in my life (quite a few years apart) that have had canine fantasy, rightly or wrongly I managed to talk them out of it or more to the point that some things are better being left in your head, I am very non judgmental but I think in this case (the fantasy) the persons long term dignity was better served by not indulging. Michael