M58 F54
Feeling beautiful
November 13 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Del, Hope you don't mind me responding. I think both men and women suffer from feeling attractive or attractive within oneself. I agree with you in that as we get older the pressure reduces and it makes you feel more relaxed and comfortable as there is no need to look at your best because you're not in your prime. What i have noticed over the years between the sexes is rather comical. Men wonder why women spend so much time trying to look good or spend so much time worrying about appearance. It isn't men saying....'her butt looks big in that'...or....'my gawd her makeup choice is horrid' lol. Men don't talk like that. I think to myself sometimes are women trying to be attractive for other women because men are very basic and don't spend time gossiping or criticising about womens appearance. Then you look at the magazines and media.....its women not men who write the articles about looks saying you need to do this or that to stay attractive. Then you add the ridiculous attention placed on women like Miranda Kerr and Jennifer Hawkins. No offence, but they get paid absurd amounts of money to think about themselves everyday they get up lol. They don't do a thing for the community, have no talent or ability and on top of that get free personal trainers to look good...free nutritionists and dieticians. Then women watch them and feel insecure that they are not attractive enough or attractive enough for men. Having pride and respect in yourself is one issue....trying to look attractive for the opposite sex is another. Having both and doing both is fine as long as its within reason and doesn't become an obsession. 'Do women feel beautiful'....that is what men should be doing for their partner. Caring about her mental state, self esteem and showing her that its her qualities on the inside that he has fallen in love with overtime.
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RHP User
12 years ago
How often do I feel beautiful.?..not quite sure if you mean physical beauty or not...if it is physical..never...I am not physically beautiful,I have been called attractive ,and some people find me attractive ,but beautiful no. I usually feel very comfortable in my skin....sometimes I have my doubting down days ,but not often. A few years ago my sense of self was completely shattered,it was directly related to a very traumatic event in my life but eventually I put myself back together but it took awhile. I do think that the tragedy of women is that when we are young and beautiful all we can see are our imperfections,it's not until we are much older that we look at the photos of our younger selves and realize just how beautiful we were. Interesting post Delicious.xR
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CrackUp
12 years ago
After being compared unfavourably all my formative years, I developed and had enforced the notion that I was not beautiful..nor even passingly attractive. Media imagery does nothing to soften this belief and neither does the often competitive nature of women in general. I have come to acknowledge that my 'esteem issues' are much like anorexia nervosa, a disease of my psyche. I have also come to understand that it will dog me to the day I die. I don't dwell on it.. it has the power to destroy me .. and I believe (my survival instinct), I have to believe, that I am more than the physical parts of my being. Someone like yourself Delicious, who is obviously all the things men want.. and has the self confidence to shine, is the someone I envy. I think, 'feeling beautiful'.. is like the girls in the song 'At Seventeen'.. it belongs to a select group of physically blessed individuals, or to those who have learned to love themselves.
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RHP User
12 years ago
but all the time now. (except for the 1st couple of days of my period). I've especially felt beautiful since leaving my cheating husband, stressful job and the mental bondage of my lego land mansion in Suburbia. I have reprioritised my life, buried a few skeletons in my closet and feel great. I have met several amazing men who have made me feel sexy as hell and have shown me that men can be honest, generous and tonnes and tonnes of fun!!! I am comfortable in my skin - love all the curves, bumps and wobbly bits - life still begins at 40!!! xxx Shell
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RHP User
12 years ago
sexy french knickers help too
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Enigmaoflove' 'Do women feel beautiful'....that is what men should be doing for their partner. Caring about her mental state, self esteem and showing her that its her qualities on the inside that he has fallen in love with overtime. Nice post by the way. However, although i agree that men should lend emotional support to their women, ultimately it's up to the individual to feel good about themselves. It's our responsibility!! Picture this, you spend all your time trying to fill someone else's cup up, smothering them with words of enthusiasm in the hope that it will lift their spirits. Worse case scenario, they become reliant on YOU for this emotional support. What their effectively doing is not taking responsibility for their own feelings and in the process, giving themselves up and relying on YOU to look after their emotional needs for them ...yet they still feel empty inside. Self esteem/self worth issues are a huge problem for both men and women. Our wounding runs deep, all the way back to our childhood experiences. During our lifetime, we learn many false beliefs about ourselves ... the media, if you choose to listen to it, only reinforces this. I'm fat, skinny, not worthy, too old, not good enough, unlovable...etc If your thinking of things not working out for you then generally that's what you'll attract. What are we telling ourselves!! People need to stop judging themselves so harshly, as this only generates self hate. You can be attractive, popular, have a great job, awesome family and friends and all the money in the world, but if you don't believe in yourself ...your FUCKED!
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CrackUp
12 years ago
Quoting 'coodi_yowie' Quoting 'Enigmaoflove' 'Do women feel beautiful'....that is what men should be doing for their partner. Caring about her mental state, self esteem and showing her that its her qualities on the inside that he has fallen in love with overtime. Nice post by the way. However, although i agree that men should lend emotional support to their women, ultimately it's up to the individual to feel good about themselves. It's our responsibility!! Picture this, you spend all your time trying to fill someone else's cup up, smothering them with words of enthusiasm in the hope that it will lift their spirits. Worse case scenario, they become reliant on YOU for this emotional support. What their effectively doing is not taking responsibility for their own feelings and in the process, giving themselves up and relying on YOU to look after their emotional needs for them ...yet they still feel empty inside. Self esteem/self worth issues are a huge problem for both men and women. Our wounding runs deep, all the way back to our childhood experiences. During our lifetime, we learn many false beliefs about ourselves ... the media, if you choose to listen to it, only reinforces this. I'm fat, skinny, not worthy, too old, not good enough, unlovable...etc If your thinking of things not working out for you then generally that's what you'll attract. What are we telling ourselves!! People need to stop judging themselves so harshly, as this only generates self hate. You can be attractive, popular, have a great job, awesome family and friends and all the money in the world, but if you don't believe in yourself ...your FUCKED! That is soooooo true Coodie. Nobody else is responsible for our esteem (or at least.. we should not make them so). It is an issue the individual has to deal with.. and hopefully overcome or at least, learn to make it so it becomes not such an important part of their existence. My partner has tried all our married life to make the difference for me.. and whilst I am grateful for his love and support, I totally get that.. ultimately 'I' am responsible for how I feel about myself. Nobody else. Our life has been rich and happy, not based on the 'me' theme but on mutual respect, enjoyment of each others company and love of each other.. in spite of perceived faults and failings.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Absolutely detest the way I look sometimes. Just cringe when I look in the mirror. I just tell myself ok your having a bad day lets just live with it and get it over and done with. Its soo much nicer when you feeling great about yourself. Im not influenced by how people look in magazines. Have no aspiration to emulate what I see. Do have my moments when I see the pretty young things walking around and feel those pangs of jeolousy. I think guys have the same feelings. They just dont talk about it as much.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Absolutely detest the way I look sometimes. Just cringe when I look in the mirror. I just tell myself ok your having a bad day lets just live with it and get it over and done with. Its soo much nicer when you feeling great about yourself. Im not influenced by how people look in magazines. Have no aspiration to emulate what I see. Do have my moments when I see the pretty young things walking around and feel those pangs of jeolousy. I think guys have the same feelings. They just dont talk about it as much.honey, not sure what sort of mirror, you have been looking at...but every time i look at your pictures, i feel pangs of jelaousy!!!!you have a body, to die for, Europian!i only wish, i had it....and i bet a lot of those "young things" would feel the same!you have a perfect body of a woman!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Spent a good part of the last 3 years working on my own self worth. The deeper i look, the more fucked up i seem to be....but i'm still smiling, see >>
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sensualtimestoo' Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Absolutely detest the way I look sometimes. Just cringe when I look in the mirror. I just tell myself ok your having a bad day lets just live with it and get it over and done with. Its soo much nicer when you feeling great about yourself. Im not influenced by how people look in magazines. Have no aspiration to emulate what I see. Do have my moments when I see the pretty young things walking around and feel those pangs of jeolousy. I think guys have the same feelings. They just dont talk about it as much. honey, not sure what sort of mirror, you have been looking at... but every time i look at your pictures, i feel pangs of jelaousy!!!! you have a body, to die for, Europian! i only wish, i had it....and i bet a lot of those "young things" would feel the same! you have a perfect body of a woman! Thats reaaly nice of you to say. You just cant help the feelings you have sometimes.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was a fat little thing back in my high school years. Same height as I am now, 5'3'', but a size 14 and pushing 65 kilos. Mum was constantly criticising, saying that I needed to lose some, etc, and in hindsight, I do thank her for that because I really was stuck in an unhealthy rut.Finish high school, discover a love of the gym and how to eat in moderation. The criticisms of my weight stopped, but other things began:(After a week of upper body weight workouts) 'Your shoulders are getting too toned! Stop doing whatever exercises you're doing.'(After a week of intense cardio & jogging) 'Your legs are getting all muscly like an athlete's. You're not one, stop that, you don't look like a lady.'(I wear a sleeveless top because I want to show off my toned, tanned upper arms) 'Wear something that has sleeves, your arms are too muscly.'I've long accepted that I can hardly be described as 'slim', and while I'm happy about my muscle tone, the constant nagging does get me down. Then again, I come from a family where the ladies have had Botox, eyebrow tattooing, braces, and eyelid surgery to create the double eyelid 'crease'. I'm heading o/s at the beginning of next year, using my annual leave to have a minor cosmetic procedure (just to get some pesky-looking moles lasered off), and the question I get asked is 'is there anything else you want to get done while you're at it?'
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm a conundrum to myself. I'm confident, very capable, self assured and completely rational about my heart, mind and body. I know what's good and what could be better. I know I'm not ugly but also not beautiful. I know I'm bigger than I should be and that's no-one's problem but my own. I accept all of me as a total package. In some parts of my life I'm a superstar. Others though - physically - I usually feel like an abject failure. I'm grateful for my health but I do not like my body or face. If I was to rate myself physically I'd say 3-4/10. This makes me shy and self conscious but it doesn't mean I lack self esteem. I'm a pretty awesome - if somewhat highly strung and slightly f^*ked up - woman. The only time I've ever felt truly beautiful was when I saw myself through the eyes of a man who loved me deeply and intensely. Being loved like that showed me parts of myself, and unleashed parts of myself, I had always sensed we're there but never before felt safe to reveal. It's not a man's responsibility to make me feel beautiful, or mine to make him feel like a king, but I do absolutely believe there's no point in a relationship at all if you're not adding to each other's self-love in a beautiful way. The 5 Love Languages are really helpful here, I think.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have felt average all my life. Not ugly, but not beautiful. I grew up with a mother who hated me (for some reason that I do not know) My younger sister was prettier than me, and my mother made sure I knew it, in indirect ways. My mother put all her eggs in the one basket, thought that my sister was going to grow up to be a more successful person than me in both career and family. So I have to work very hard at feeling beautiful, as I sometimes still feel like the little girl that no one cared about. Thank god for my father though, who I have a fantastic relationship with, and my husband who thinks he is 'punching above his weight', sshhh, don't tell him I am the lucky one!!! I have my days, and hate feeling like this. I do think the media also plays a huge role in this, I mean they take a beautiful woman and then airbrush her into unattainable perfection. It's pure fantasy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel gloriously sexy and love every bit of myself. I do this because I was very ill for a long time, and could hardly walk , lived in terrible pain. Now every day is a gift,and I think that shows I am confident in my desire, I know what I want, I am not afraid to ask for what I want and I get it. I feel like I am luminescent, and its not a vanity its just pure joy at being a woman and desired. I think when it shines within , then you see beauty in everything, including yourself. Age may have something to do with how I feel, I am the end of my life so I aim to make every day count without the silly , how I look to others. Its how I feel about myself that counts, and so I have rose coloured mirrors and lovers who have the same set of glasses.
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RHP User
12 years ago
How Often Do I feel Beautiful? Not enough at the moment but it is all my doing! I know how to fix it I just need to get on with it.I've had friends say I look better now then I did in my 30's but that's all come down to diet exercise etc I've fallen off that wagon so am not particularly fond at looking at myself in the mirror atm ...whilst Ive never thought of myself as a beauty ( I have waaay too many gorgeous girl friends to ever consider myself as one) I do know I'm sexy and I work with that and it's always worked for me, accepted that one long ago.Thing is sometimes personality traits in people male or female can make them seem quite ugly in my eyes..no matter how good looking they are of if they have self esteem coming out of their nostrils it's not appealingDel,in womens case generally speaking I thinks it's years and years of comparing ourselves to each other like I have with my friends that has something to do with it. Some care about it more then others, others don't give a rats but they are gorgeous souls and thats what counts.Hope that wafting dribble made sense
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On_Safari
12 years ago
(deep deep breath) When I was young I was often made to feel ugly, unwanted by other girls in particular. I tried so hard to make friends and please them often only to be used. In my teens the pattern repeated, only added to which at 17 and 54kg I was also being called fat and ugly. In my early 20's a close male friend (strictly non-sexual and like a brother) candidly assessed me as being plain and not likely to "fit in" anywhere. It caused self-doubt, a sense of being unloveable, and loneliness even when surrounded by these "friends". My ex Satan said no one would ever love me because I was horrid, fat and pathetic. I was later to realise all these people simply found joy in bringing me down because it made them feel better to belittle me. Late 20's I realised I had squandered my "prime". Entered a workforce where I was appreciated, met friends who admired and adored me and eventually a man who had eyes only for me. In my 30's I still had the "women" troubles BUT they can be forgiven, one day they too will see the error of thier ways. Mid 30's a few of the men I worked with would say in pasing conversation and jests. "G you aren't sexy because of the way you look, you're sexy because of the way you are.". On my 40th birthday my friends fiance' sent me a huge bunch of roses out of the blue. The card reads, "you may not be the sexy young woman you used to be. Now you're the hot older woman the young women wish they could be.". I love that birthday card!! I have friends and acquaintances most people would say are or are less than average and not take the time. Granted looks help BUT actually getting to know someone can truly make you look at them through new eyes and actually see the beauty within. My bestie is a skinny chick trapped in a fat chicks body lol and she's hot hot hot I tell you!!! And luckily her sass and personality have won over some very handsome gentlemen. I have days when I look like a dogs breakfast, lol but have to deal with it. Today I woke feeling daggy, so I up and dressed in one of my pretty dresses, put on some "spak filla" (makeup), fluffed my hair wore some nice underwear and vintage stockings with a pair of stillettos and went to coffee. I had a brilliant day!! Because I chose to have a brilliant day and make do with what I have to work with. Lol it's all in your outlook. Yes I get down, yes People have been cruel to me, yes I've been cruel to me. BUT as they say girls, life begins at 40, get's better at 50, becomes epic at 60 lol and at 70 I'll slip into my flats and slap on my purple hat and go see what them young whipper schnappers is doing!! As reward for my effort today I received this txt from a mate "You looked like a fresh summer breeze walking through my door today. Your radiant smile ignited my desire for you. You were hot sexy and very tempting x. Lmao I never know if I should take him seriously!! He's often full of it. I don't think I'm pretty or beautiful. I would describe myself as a "handsome" woman. And that suits me fine. Even on the "ugly" days nothing changes the beautiful woman that's inside you. You just gotta reach in and find her.....she's always in there somewhere!! Del, Freya, Crack and all you other incredibly handsome women (AND Men!!) out there. Beauty is only skin deep and all that crap. I still say "Smile gorgeous!!! You all got it, so work it baby work it!!!" PS. And remember, if anyone's telking yoy different it's because they're jealous! So adopt the motto "Don't hate me cos ya aint me!". And go kick arse biatches
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Egad, did I just waffle a heap of nonsensical shite or what?!?!?!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I might get another tattoo on my cock "Beautiful" (in bold olde English writing of course)and then I could promise women I could make them feel beautiful any time they wanted. (guaranteed)Hope that dosent come across as being too big headed :S
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Saturn65' How Often Do I feel Beautiful? Not enough at the moment but it is all my doing! I know how to fix it I just need to get on with it. Saturn65 SNAP! :D
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RHP User
12 years ago
Coming out of an eight year relationship I did not feel particularly attractive. This site has done wonders for me regaining my self esteem. A few nights ago, another member requested a face pic of me, while I was already in bed. Freshly showered with wet hair and no make-up, I thought no way. Eventually I gave in. And ended up using the result as my profile pic. Lesson learned: What I see in the mirror and what a man sees, are two different things. A shout out out to the RHP men I've met whom have made me feel desirable!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Saturn , yup! Comparing ourselves constantly to other women is a killer. I spent a good part of 10 years wishing I was short, spending days hiding as I felt like a monster!?? I did that to myself mind you, I had nothing but support in my life! As a mother of a adult daughter , I spent my life raising her with the hopes of fabulous self esteem , it was my mission ! Now at 23 she is GORGEOUS , seriously physically beautiful, yet with all the good parenting in the world, she has struggled enormously with her self esteem. Like me , it seems nothing anyone says makes any difference , it needs to come from within!? No wonder older women seem appealing to some men , takes us 40 years to realize we are beautiful !! Nothing says sexy like confidence ! .....................Saturn btw I have met you , and I would definately call you beautiful !
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RHP User
12 years ago
Like most of us I have struggled with self esteem and I still do. Generally, all I see are my physical flaws which prevent me from feeling beautiful on the outside. Most days I believe I have a beautiful soul. I am honest, have integrity, try to be kind, helpful, am a good Mum, wear my heart on my sleeve and am empathetic – those qualities I find beautiful on the inside......will ever the two meet, I’m not sure. Like many, I was physically and sexually abused from a very young age and continued the pattern by entering a marriage with an abusive man.One example of this is after I gave birth to my first child, within 2 weeks, he suggested I become bulimic and workout at the gym 3 times each day so I wasn’t so physically repulsive – He monitored my vomit buckets and gym visits for 10 years until I gained enough support and strength and left him – if I look back at the photos, yes my body was lean and hard and I suppose I looked hot, but was I beautiful, no – was I sick, yes – did I have any self esteem to speak of, hell no. I then spend the next 5 years working on myself and subsequently ballooned to 120kg but was healing from the inside, finding out who I was, what I wanted and found so many answers to my questions. Was I physically beautiful in Societies eyes, no – did I have any self esteem, yes and slowly it has risen over the years. I have since lost 50 something kg and am finding parts of my outside body I like (even minutely), but overall it has been the inside changes that have helped me feel beautiful the most. Sorry for this being so long, but I wanted to share.
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RHP User
12 years ago
the courage to post your stories, are exquisite Everyone has a struggle , its to do with media and with childhood issues. I was raised in an orphanage, with abuse you do not even want to know about. but I am a phoenix, as are you all thank you for being so candid
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ive put on a lot more weight than Im comfortable with but I try not to let it get me down. Sometimes when Im having a difficult day and things are getting me down I don't like what I see in the mirror. But I always feel beautiful when my hubby looks at me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
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RHP User
12 years ago
I fell over myself to a covertly aggressive partner, which I believe I shared in a different post, and will mention a few of the comments here. Such comments like "you love the truck more than your own family. Every time you touch me, my skin crawls and I just want to vomit. We don't have sex because I love you; we have sex because I'm horny and you're the one that's in the bed." Over the course of a 6 year relationship, the wear a person down. Anyone not just me, I'm just thankful I'm out of her grasp now, legal agreements are in place to prevent financial exploitation, and I'm winning. Slowly over the last three years rebuilding myself, and assessing there's still work to do, but one of the biggest pick me ups I had just recently was not only a thread where I threw myself to the wolves, but had an incredible experience in a nightclub in tamworth where I may have not had the kahunas to approach her, but knew very well that every move she made on that dance floor was directed at me. Her constant smiling at me, her moving around constantly in my vicinity even after I changed pubs. Very flattering and a big catalyst that made me think, if someone like her could notice me, then why wouldn't everyone?? I've been smiling ever since.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well thank you Mrs Del. xxx and right back at you.
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jensta
12 years ago
I myself are very comfortable with my imperfect body ... Surgical Scars show my journey ... I am Beautiful ... Inside and out Life is Short ... so Love yourself & thats very Attractive I do find because I am happy in myself other WomanPresume I'm Full of myself ... but that is so far from the truth I have just accepted myself 100% No Insecurities to hold me back from living my life to the fullest Our Body is our Vehicle ... that carries our sole
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am in my 20's and I am still working on my self esteem ...it really DOES depend on how you were treated as you were growing up particularly in your teens by other peers and your parents...my dad put me down alot and I was emotionally abused for years not to mention I had problems with other females so it's natural to start to question your own self worth and appearance...it doesnt matter how beautiful you are ANYONE can suffer from this and sometimes it can take years to get yourself back to feeling special and attracted again one thing I do know is that you only attract people at the same level you feel about yourself so if you feel that you are unattractive or unloveable you will attract assholes and people that mirror this to you...once you change in yourself your whole circle of friends and lovers will change too...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011' I fell over myself to a covertly aggressive partner, which I believe I shared in a different post, and will mention a few of the comments here. Such comments like "you love the truck more than your own family. Every time you touch me, my skin crawls and I just want to vomit. We don't have sex because I love you; we have sex because I'm horny and you're the one that's in the bed." Over the course of a 6 year relationship, the wear a person down. Anyone not just me, I'm just thankful I'm out of her grasp now, legal agreements are in place to prevent financial exploitation, and I'm winning. Slowly over the last three years rebuilding myself, and assessing there's still work to do, but one of the biggest pick me ups I had just recently was not only a thread where I threw myself to the wolves, but had an incredible experience in a nightclub in tamworth where I may have not had the kahunas to approach her, but knew very well that every move she made on that dance floor was directed at me. Her constant smiling at me, her moving around constantly in my vicinity even after I changed pubs. Very flattering and a big catalyst that made me think, if someone like her could notice me, then why wouldn't everyone?? I've been smiling ever since.I'm sorry to hear that it's a good thing you got out of that!! I don't know how anyone would put up with that seriously! People like that really have there own issues to work on I have made a promise to myself that my next bf is going to be completely different then what I generally go for
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RHP User
12 years ago
Backs out slowly, shuts the door, runs like hell! hahhah
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel beautiful whenever I am able to wear what I like (my job doesnt allow what I consider beautiful), wear my hair how I like, wear perfume, nice materials agains my skin, etc. When all my senses are enjoying, Im mostl likely to feel beautiful, so as often as that happens, or I go out of my way to make it happen, thats how often I feel it. I was never comfortable in my own skin as a teenager and in early 20's, even though looking back, I looked incredible. As I got older I realised theres more to life than obsessing over what I eat, how many hrs I spent at the gym that week, I started to get comfortable. Also, I know this site isnt the one for promoting love, but I really believe, being loved, admired and desired for how you are with all your imperfections can change how you see yourself for a lot of women who need that validation. It should be within you, but for me it took someone else to bring it out, and even though Im far from perfect, I know there is someone out there who would do anything to look like me, as well as there will always be someone better looking in every new generation and thats okay. It is not just media, but the social stigma that a woman must always look her best, also, women are extremley competitive, and given that the number of us is getting higher than men, its all in our genes from the caveman era I believe, the pressure is on to appeal to a potential mate. Except now, the values have shifted, and women are more agressive and dominant, and will usually be the first to make a move. I honestly believe its all sex appeal driven, and when I say that I dont mean looking like a playboy bunny, but the desire to look forever young, have better clothes, be skinnier..its all in an effort to appeal to someone or something.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've never considered myself any kind of a looker, nor do I ever feel desirable. I think the only reason I survived my childhood/teens was because I genuinely didn't give a shit about anyones opinion of me, which has now mutated into something I've lost control of. I made the mistake of not caring what I thought of myself which has caused all kinds of issues that Im dealing with. As has been said, we've all got issues, baggage etc but we can all get through it if we choose to tackle it head on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm so glad you got out of that damaging relationship,well done!Your Tamworth experience sounds like soul food and very empowering to feel so wanted I imagine.Big Smiles
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RHP User
12 years ago
At first I felt unbearable sadness for all the hurt and pain experienced and shared here.But the human spirit is resilient and that is also expressed here.That is truly beautiful,because for every story that is shared there is someone else reading it and who will find hope in your resisilence and maybe in your courage find courage,to make a change in their life,to understand all the possibles for a beautiful life too.x R
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am currently at war with my body - and angry at its betrayal of me - the last person to tell me I was beautiful was my bestie - but shes paid to say that kinda stuff to me However my unhappiness with my body, is due to a genetic flaw only - it is what it is....and not due to some other lowsome human being inflicting their issues and cruelty onto me, like some of the stories that have been posted above.. Ladies, who were brave enough to share your stories..thankyou ...I applaud and salute you..and you make me glad and proud that I am female..as TR said you are all phoenixes, and SURVIVORS.... You ladies rock
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RHP User
12 years ago
On_Safari, you just wrote a mini book lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have I ever felt beautiful? Nope. Not once. After hours of hair and makeup to be a bridesmaid when I was 21 I felt kind of attractive but still cried for 2hrs after the photos. I don't do photos at all. I have 3 children and have not one photo of me holding them as babies. The first one I had was when my eldest was 4. I am only now just starting to have photos taken of me and them, and my youngest is nearly 9. Sad but true. I don't want photos reminding me of how I "think" I look. I spent several years in a mentally and physically abusive relationship where every day I was told I was ugly. I have drawers full of lingerie but if I put any on I would get told to take it off. No point wearing it. My ex was an incredibly hot man, and he had me feeling inadequate every second I was with him. He wouldn't walk with me in a shopping centre, I never met one of his mates in 9 years and we didn't go anywhere together. I really believe this his caused me to feel the way I do about my looks. Since I left him I have gained great confidence in my strength and abilities, but still not about my looks. I have had a few partners since and not one of them have ever made me feel attractive, even my regular ones. It's always just been about sex which is fine with me but it would be nice to feel wanted once every now and then! Lol I'm not stupid, deep down I know I am not totally ugly but this does not mean I feel desirable or attractive. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable with my looks but not yet. I still go out, have a great time and live my life, just hopefully soon my smile will be one of confidence :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'jensta' I myself are very comfortable with my imperfect body ... Surgical Scars show my journey ... I am Beautiful ... Inside and out Life is Short ... so Love yourself & thats very Attractive I do find because I am happy in myself other Woman Presume I'm Full of myself ... but that is so far from the truth I have just accepted myself 100% No Insecurities to hold me back from living my life to the fullest Our Body is our Vehicle ... that carries our sole Very beautifully put, but a long journey for some...
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RHP User
12 years ago
If we're so easily influenced by another's opinion about us, are what stage do we take our own opinion of ourselves seriously?? ..after all, this is the only one that matters...Thoughts and words have enormous power, and if you let them they CAN have a huge impact, be it a positive or negative way on a person's self esteem. So ask yourself, what are you choosing to listen too, and what is the pattern of your own self talk?? Does it benefit you, or disable you? Make a choice to be that loving adult to your inner child, explore the experiences in the past that have made us self doubt, then hopefully we can start loving ourselves from the inside, out. Think of this inner child as your 'feeling' centre, your feelings let you know whether what you are doing or thinking is wrong or right for you. If your not feeling beautiful, then your not taking loving care of yourself, while your peace and joy let you know that you are truly being loving to yourself. It's a foolproof system, your feelings let you know whether your off track with your thinking and behavior. So, do we listen to ourselves, or others. It's your choice...
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's interesting to see an excellent point coming from a guy on this topic...I generally expect men to be immature and avoid these kinds of topics ha ha
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RHP User
12 years ago
If only it was simply that we think ourselves beautiful and don't concern ourselves with what others think.For many women here as Boobilicious has said it is a very long journey.The process of wounding often starts when we are children,and so every time we get negative feedback,whether it's real or just our perception,those primal wounds are being added to. Unfortunately we add to this with our negative self talk.Other people can help us feel better about ourselves but it is only when we can let go of our past hurts and realize that the people who hurt us did this because they were flawed,and we put all that into perspective that we can even begin to heal. The only person who can make us happy is ourselves Sometimes we have to be ruthless about the company we keep and don't have people in our life who are going to add to our pain,whether the mean to or not. Lovely post coodi btw x R
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jensta
12 years ago
I couldn't care what others think ... What for ... I'm Happy & have a good life at 49 ... I'm looking Good If they are rude & bad mouthing well then I take Action ... Look Out I bite Hard Most of the time Opinions that are not asked for ... there is a Jealousy Issue The world would be a better place if we looked at the good & beauty in People instead of judgemental opinions ... Everyone is beautiful in there own way ... Focus on that
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RHP User
12 years ago
Beautifully put Freya. Everyone struggles through this, doesn't matter how beautiful or perfect others might think of them. We are our worse enemies when it comes to accepting ourselves by allowing other peoples lack of sensitivity, insecurities and jealousy shape how we look at ourselves. I grew up in a society where being "white" (asian version of white: the yellowy/hepatitis tone ) is considered to be the epitome of beauty. I am the darkest in my family. Hearing stories over and over about how when I was born, my dad had asked my mom if I was his because of my colour! People always commenting on how I am darker and different than my other siblings. In high school, quite a number of my classmates and friends (both girls and boys) have had their skin bleached to be considered "beautiful". Bleaching soaps and lotions are a big industry in asia. Couple this with the same society that does not have a filter when they tell you how fat/ugly you look. True story: Went back to the motherland after having a baby and went to see my regular dentist. He couldn't remember me as I had been living in Australia for a few years then, I explained to him what he had done to my teeth before and he goes: "Oh, yeah I remember you now, what happened to you? Why, you're so fat I didn't recognise you!" LOL! This has happened to me so many times that it's hilarious! I struggled with the feeling of being undesirable until a few years ago when, after going through some hard times made me realise that life is short and that someone loves me deeply and that someone is ME! I feel beautiful not because I am - I see the flaws and imperfections but I accept them as part of me and that's what makes me beautiful! Damn! I just sound so up myself!
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is so much one could waft on about beauty, but in trying to stick with what the OP has asked - Do I feel beautiful/have I ever done so? Answer - no, never. Because I have such major trust issues, I cannot share the reasons why either. I feel hideous all of the time, not worthy to be seen in public, let alone be with other people. In the course of my time on Earth, I've received my fair share of compliments, and each and every time in the back of my mind, I've thought "What do you want and what will it cost me this time?" After reading what others have said on this thread, the one that stands out the most to me is Jensta. I wish to hell I could feel the way you do, but I look in the mirror and see someone waiting to die. I hate myself, I hate the way I look, hate the way I think and am not surprised that every person in my life so far has left me after gaining their pound of flesh. It doesn't matter what talent I may have, there is something intrinsically wrong with me that unfortunately I don't have the looks or the energy to cover. Now today, as I write this, I can't even hide behind the mask I usually wear. You can only kick a dog so many times before it just lays there and waits for the darkness to claim it. Beauty is an illusion and so is life. It will be a relief when it ends.Viking
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RHP User
12 years ago
or something like that ♜♜♜♜♜♜♜♜♜♜♜
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'missopenminded' It's interesting to see an excellent point coming from a guy on this topic...I generally expect men to be immature and avoid these kinds of topics ha ha about the avoiding part, most blokes refuse to talk about their emotions, and believe it or not, some women too. The thing is this sort of topic is not gender specific, but it's also a topic that most shy away from because it involves exploring the way one feels about themselves, and lets be honest, who want's to feel down about themselves when they can take the easy option and avoid itWe're so quick to judge ourselves too, it's ridiculous, it's like our default setting. If your a parent and your child walks up to you and tugs on your pants looking for advice, do you ignore them and pretend their not there?? Nope! ..then why are we so quick to dismiss our own self and feelings when their screaming out to be heard. You owe it to yourself to listen.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am not sure what to say to you because probably nothng that I can say could possibly help.When I read your post your pain leapt off the screen.I have once felt like you do,but if you can just find beauty outside of yourself,don't think about yourself,think about those who love you,think about how fortunate you are,all the amazing gifts you have.If you can't find something about yourself to love think about what you do love,concentrate on that. We are all waiting to die,it is what we do with our time in the interim that matters.It seems trite for me to say that I am thinking about you and that I hope in the next minute,the next hour,the next day the pain will lessen,moment by moment. x R
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CrackUp
12 years ago
Quoting 'VikingBitch' There is so much one could waft on about beauty, but in trying to stick with what the OP has asked - Do I feel beautiful/have I ever done so? Answer - no, never. Because I have such major trust issues, I cannot share the reasons why either. I feel hideous all of the time, not worthy to be seen in public, let alone be with other people. In the course of my time on Earth, I've received my fair share of compliments, and each and every time in the back of my mind, I've thought "What do you want and what will it cost me this time?" After reading what others have said on this thread, the one that stands out the most to me is Jensta. I wish to hell I could feel the way you do, but I look in the mirror and see someone waiting to die. I hate myself, I hate the way I look, hate the way I think and am not surprised that every person in my life so far has left me after gaining their pound of flesh. It doesn't matter what talent I may have, there is something intrinsically wrong with me that unfortunately I don't have the looks or the energy to cover. Now today, as I write this, I can't even hide behind the mask I usually wear. You can only kick a dog so many times before it just lays there and waits for the darkness to claim it. Beauty is an illusion and so is life. It will be a relief when it ends.Viking Viking xx those sentiments you share, I feel those too. How awful that things that happen in our early life have the ability to inflict so much damage on our sense of esteem. I wish there were something I could say to make it better. Stay strong sweetheart.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'CrackUp' Quoting 'VikingBitch' There is so much one could waft on about beauty, but in trying to stick with what the OP has asked - Do I feel beautiful/have I ever done so? Answer - no, never. Because I have such major trust issues, I cannot share the reasons why either. I feel hideous all of the time, not worthy to be seen in public, let alone be with other people. In the course of my time on Earth, I've received my fair share of compliments, and each and every time in the back of my mind, I've thought "What do you want and what will it cost me this time?" After reading what others have said on this thread, the one that stands out the most to me is Jensta. I wish to hell I could feel the way you do, but I look in the mirror and see someone waiting to die. I hate myself, I hate the way I look, hate the way I think and am not surprised that every person in my life so far has left me after gaining their pound of flesh. It doesn't matter what talent I may have, there is something intrinsically wrong with me that unfortunately I don't have the looks or the energy to cover. Now today, as I write this, I can't even hide behind the mask I usually wear. You can only kick a dog so many times before it just lays there and waits for the darkness to claim it. Beauty is an illusion and so is life. It will be a relief when it ends. Viking Viking xx those sentiments you share, I feel those too. How awful that things that happen in our early life have the ability to inflict so much damage on our sense of esteem. I wish there were something I could say to make it better. Stay strong sweetheart. On occassion where i first 'cyber' met you, on FB, at times you let your guard down, opened up and I saw a beautiful soul With time and perserverance, even it isn't all of the time, you will feel beautiful, and others will see and they will want nothing, except to share in that beauty and be touched by your soul. Yes, Jensta's post really was inspiring, I agree. Lots of Love Jxxx
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jensta
12 years ago
I am confident ... Yes Perfect ... NoAccepting of my imperfections ... Yes I am far from perfect ... I do take care of myself ... I like to look Nice But hey this is me ... I am HAPPY to be AliveI too have had things in my life that have brought me downLife threatening Even ... I have a lot of strength to pick myself up I figure if I don't ... know one can do that for meMy journey of life has been a huge rollercoaster Physically & Mentally ... without getting into it lets say ... you would be surprised my friends call me an inspiration ... and that makes me Proud Please love & accept yourself ... take care :)
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jensta
12 years ago
Make the best of what we got ... our Genetics are what they are Body is our Vehicle that carries our Sole ... while we are here on EarthOur Mind is a Powerful thing ... Sound Mind and the rest will follow Love ones self ... jensta xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I dont see myself as a physically beautiful woman - ok stop right there everyone. This is not a cry for a validation about my looks, this is not me seeking my ego to boosted and/or stroked, I am not looking for people to tell me otherwise this is how I honestly see myself physically. I am however very comfortable in my skin, confident in who I am and do very much love my personality. I like me but it took me a long time to like me. For me it was a partner in my late teens who convinced me no one else could love me like he did - and he was right. No one could love me like he did because he was a negative person and his kind of love should not be wished upon by anyone. I have grown comfortable in my skin and I wouldnt change me for the world. if someone doesnt like me for me, isnt happy with my looks well then thats their issue and there is no way Im going to make it mine. Sure I have things about me I would like to change (my size is one) but I am the only one who can do that and I have to want it for myself. In all honesty to me no one else matters. Yes I am selfish but this is my body and I am the one who has to live with it. Kisses Focus PS - No I didnt read the other posts 3 pages on a Sunday morning was just too much for me to go through lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
We would all see ourselves as beautiful indeed. Its unfortunate that we don't. LIke some of you, I have been in a victims shoes in early childhood, then married a man who lets say had some aggressive tendancies. As a young child who is abused we will un-beautify ourselves. We put on weight, we hide wherever and however we can. LIfe has its twists and turns, we often pursue behaviours that support the image we feel, rejection , unloved, useless, etc. Its tough to rise about that.. someone of us can continue to be knocked down and find it such a struggle to get up again. Yet we do.. I think its why so many of us find ourselves here in a place where we dont feel beautiful. Where we sit and think oh wow I wish I looked like that, or felt like they do. Yet if we read the forum posts over these 3 pages, the same people I sit and look at and think oh you are very beautiful.. well they feel like me. Sometimes not so beautiful I love to read the forums, post when I feel the need, but i need to say to you all, Thank You for the care and nurturing I see evident in here every day when someone hurts. when they are in pain, or they just need a friend. If only we could see ourselves as others do :) My life is a little bit of a struggle at the moment.. I have a few things going on ... You have all lifted my spirits today so much...thank you xxxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lost_Focus' I dont see myself as a physically beautiful woman - ok stop right there everyone. This is not a cry for a validation about my looks, this is not me seeking my ego to boosted and/or stroked, I am not looking for people to tell me otherwise this is how I honestly see myself physically. I am however very comfortable in my skin, confident in who I am and do very much love my personality. I like me but it took me a long time to like me. For me it was a partner in my late teens who convinced me no one else could love me like he did - and he was right. No one could love me like he did because he was a negative person and his kind of love should not be wished upon by anyone. I have grown comfortable in my skin and I wouldnt change me for the world. if someone doesnt like me for me, isnt happy with my looks well then thats their issue and there is no way Im going to make it mine. Sure I have things about me I would like to change (my size is one) but I am the only one who can do that and I have to want it for myself. In all honesty to me no one else matters. Yes I am selfish but this is my body and I am the one who has to live with it. Kisses Focus PS - No I didnt read the other posts 3 pages on a Sunday morning was just too much for me to go through lol Focus, Iam older than you, but constantly find myself reading your insightful advice and taking it on board, finding so much of it relevant, caring and helpful. You seem to have worked out so much, so early, while the rest of us spin on the spot hoping to!! Love your posts Jx P.S. Yes, it was a heavy ready, I really wish that so many people didn't have to feel so much pain, and some on a daily basis
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'diwata' Beautifully put Freya. Everyone struggles through this, doesn't matter how beautiful or perfect others might think of them. We are our worse enemies when it comes to accepting ourselves by allowing other peoples lack of sensitivity, insecurities and jealousy shape how we look at ourselves. I grew up in a society where being "white" (asian version of white: the yellowy/hepatitis tone ) is considered to be the epitome of beauty. I am the darkest in my family. Hearing stories over and over about how when I was born, my dad had asked my mom if I was his because of my colour! People always commenting on how I am darker and different than my other siblings. In high school, quite a number of my classmates and friends (both girls and boys) have had their skin bleached to be considered "beautiful". Bleaching soaps and lotions are a big industry in asia. Couple this with the same society that does not have a filter when they tell you how fat/ugly you look. True story: Went back to the motherland after having a baby and went to see my regular dentist. He couldn't remember me as I had been living in Australia for a few years then, I explained to him what he had done to my teeth before and he goes: "Oh, yeah I remember you now, what happened to you? Why, you're so fat I didn't recognise you!" LOL! This has happened to me so many times that it's hilarious! I struggled with the feeling of being undesirable until a few years ago when, after going through some hard times made me realise that life is short and that someone loves me deeply and that someone is ME! I feel beautiful not because I am - I see the flaws and imperfections but I accept them as part of me and that's what makes me beautiful! Damn! I just sound so up myself! Positive, self affirming, sensible and self-caring, that's what you sound! I enjoyed reading your story, especially the end. "Someone love me deeply and that someone is me". Thank you for sharing, and that goes to everyone who has shared their story. I work in a women's health centre and I see women all the time who lack confidence in themselves and don't see their resilience or their beauty and it makes me sad. I am not what most would call physically beautiful but I know myself and I like what I know about me. It doesn't mean I hold it together all the time. I have days of self doubt and self-loathing, frustration with myself but at my core I know I am beautiful person. My mum used to say "beauty is as beauty does".
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most of us gals probably want to marry the rare senstive guyz that posted on this thread. Beautiful posts men (even the jokey ones that help lighten the mood, on a subject that can get quite dark...) At times it feels like us gals get trapped in our own minds to the extend that a male would just never get it, but reading here, some do!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari'Egad, did I just waffle a heap of nonsensical shite or what?!?!?! Get me a birthday card like that in two months!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm not sure we completely get it from a woman's perspective but we definately understand a part of it because most blokes have their good and bad days, struggle with criticism etc etc. and a lot of blokes shut down when they get emotional. They say fuck it, grab a carton and drown themselves to sleep. Me personally I'm differrent again, I show my emotional side because that's just me, I don't care if you love me or hate me but it's always the real me that gets seen.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have to say that over the years I have really struggled with image and self confidence I guess to be expected when the one person I thought would always want me has not come near me for 7 years!The last 2 years have seen me make a huge transformation.For the last 8 weeks I have been slugging it out at the gym for 6 days a week,changing my body and my mindset! I look different and most importantly am feeling different about myself.To add to this I met up with a guy yesterday who truly made me feel beautiful and sexy for the first time in years :) My first instinct was to cover up or dive under the doona!! but I didnt .That in itself was such a huge step! So yeah, yesterday I felt beautiful and completely comfortable in my own skin.
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
The caption was along the lines of "there are over 3 billion women in the world and only 8 Supermodels"As one of the 3 billion I may not always be happy with what I see in the mirror but I do try to do the best with what I have.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I do not have the classic good looks, but I am attractive...well people seem to be drawn to me anyway. Kids love me so I must have some inner beauty shining through. I come across as confident, sometimes I can be arrogant and I am also the biggest bitch that I know. In fact I tell my partner that I am not the bitch his mother warned him about....she never saw me coming.... But this confidence is hard won. I also have my own story, as do we all. I spent 20 years in an emotionally abusive relationship. I was told on a daily basis how fat / dumb / stupid / ugly etc I was. 20 years can be soul destroying and it took me three years of intense soul searching to beleive that I was a worthwhile person. Fortunately I do posess a very very strong mind. That coupled with the first man I met on line (who was younger and absolutely gorgeous) I am now confident in my skin. Happy with who I am and the way I am. These days I see it that if someone has issues with me being me then that is thier issues and I am not gonna take it on board. While we all look in the mirror and see our flaws there before us, all our stretchmarks and other life scars, all our blemishes...remember ladies and gentlemen...even Quasimoto found someone to love him, Shrek found his Fiona and the Dragon found Donkey. There is a nut for every shell..... seek out your special nut... dont stop looking until you find him / her.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My self esteem has never been good - only thought I was just 'average' and that was on a good day! my weight has always been an issue! overly critisized and not praised enough by my parents - I never thought I pleased them !Now when I look back at my photos from 30 years ago and I think i was gorgeous! How I wish i could go back there with the foresight i have now!I think my marriage failed (and all my relationships) because Ive never felt worthy and deserving and have always lacked self confidence! but as I'm getting older I'm feeling more confident in my own skin! you start to realise this is as good as it gets, so make the most of it! loosing both my parents has made me re-evaluate my life too ! Life is precious, make each day count- no regrets!sites like this have improved my self esteem too - I know I'll never look in the mirror and see a beauty but being desired and wanted makes me feel sexy and i think thats just as good!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've never been someone who measures themself on the reflection in the mirror, a lover's eyes or what society says i should be. I've always been conscious that who i am is greater than my outward physical appearance, if you took away my physical beauty, i'd still be a loving, worthwhile and intelligent person. Physical beauty can be, and often is fleeting. Having your whole self worth wrapped up in that is the perfect recipe for misery. Measuring yourself on other people's opinions of you is bound to set you up for disappointment and hurt. I know I'm not perfect, but nor should i be....i'm perfectly imperfect. One of the wonderful things about being in my 40's is aceptance of myself.
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jensta
12 years ago
At a younger Age ... my body & looks were more beautiful Now I am still beautiful in a different way my imperfections are a map of my life Journey ... As a Mature woman I feel sexier than ever Comfortable in my own skin ... confident with who I'am Intouch with my Sexuality ... Knowing what I like & what I want ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel beautiful on the inside when I have just finished at the gym. Your body is so responsive after a work out and you feel alive.I feel beautiful on the outside when a man is kissing me hard and running his hands all over me because he is so turned on.Generally I feel good about myself, have some body issues but i dont let that hold me back in anyway. Been through alot this past year and it has taught me to appreciate life more and dont worry about the people whom dont like me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am not beautiful however I often feel sexy and sensuous. (is that the right word?)Meeka xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I am not beautiful however I often feel sexy and sensuous. (is that the right word?)Meeka xxoh pish bloody posh.....even i feel 'beautiful' after a rub scrub and sparkle!...... and compared to me, you're an absolute dish!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most of my life I had no confidence and wasted so much of my energy on self doubt. At 39 I had a Malignant tumour on my lip. Althought it was a contained cancer,it was dangerous. It was awhile before I had the operation,my bottom lip removed. I spend a few months sleepless and softly crying to myself. I thought I am going to look terrible if i get through this. But one thing I did was look at my life till then and questioned the good and bad. I realised the good in me was I made others smile,I had lots of friends that loved me,I could make sad people happy, I was loved. I decided when I got better I was going to embrace me and since doing this I have blossomed into the Goddess I am today. Other then my big tits,and nice eyes,people always tell me I have a beautiful smile,noone has ever said wha thappened to your mouth. So in saying all this believe in yourself and live each day with love and your beauty will shine. We all have our flaws but there is something uniquely beautiful about everyone. SMILE AND YOU WILL SHINE. i DO NOT KNOW OF A STAR IN THIS UNIVERSE THAT ISN'T BEAUIFUL.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most of my life I had no confidence and wasted so much of my energy on self doubt. At 39 I had a Malignant tumour on my lip. Althought it was a contained cancer,it was dangerous. It was awhile before I had the operation,my bottom lip removed. I spend a few months sleepless and softly crying to myself. I thought I am going to look terrible if i get through this. But one thing I did was look at my life till then and questioned the good and bad. I realised the good in me was I made others smile,I had lots of friends that loved me,I could make sad people happy, I was loved. I decided when I got better I was going to embrace me and since doing this I have blossomed into the Goddess I am today. Other then my big tits,and nice eyes,people always tell me I have a beautiful smile,noone has ever said wha thappened to your mouth. So in saying all this believe in yourself and live each day with love and your beauty will shine. We all have our flaws but there is something uniquely beautiful about everyone. SMILE AND YOU WILL SHINE. i DO NOT KNOW OF A STAR IN THIS UNIVERSE THAT ISN'T BEAUIFUL.
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jensta
12 years ago
Quoting 'teasegoddess' Most of my life I had no confidence and wasted so much of my energy on self doubt. At 39 I had a Malignant tumour on my lip. Althought it was a contained cancer,it was dangerous. It was awhile before I had the operation,my bottom lip removed. I spend a few months sleepless and softly crying to myself. I thought I am going to look terrible if i get through this. But one thing I did was look at my life till then and questioned the good and bad. I realised the good in me was I made others smile,I had lots of friends that loved me,I could make sad people happy, I was loved. I decided when I got better I was going to embrace me and since doing this I have blossomed into the Goddess I am today. Other then my big tits,and nice eyes,people always tell me I have a beautiful smile,noone has ever said wha thappened to your mouth. So in saying all this believe in yourself and live each day with love and your beauty will shine. We all have our flaws but there is something uniquely beautiful about everyone. SMILE AND YOU WILL SHINE. i DO NOT KNOW OF A STAR IN THIS UNIVERSE THAT ISN'T BEAUIFUL. Everyone is Beautiful ... in their own right Its a matter of seeing your own Beauty It maybe physical ... It may be inner Beauty jensta xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
This thread has become quite important to me and I wanted to thank everyone for their honest and often vulnerable posts. Hearing women talk about the reasons they do feel beautiful - inside and out - is a bit awe-inspiring. Thank you all x
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RHP User
12 years ago
I spent four days with that force of nature Tuscan Red.She is an inspiration,very confident in her sexuality and her body.However we are all different and our experiences have helped shape how we feel about ourselves.If they have been positive then we are more likely to feel positive about ourselves.So much harder when the experiences have been negative.It becomes a self perpetuating cycle ,confidence is indeed attractive but if you don't feel confident about your looks then you wont be attractive to others and so it goes on. Tease Goddess such an amazing story,an another inspirational woman. Perhaps what we all need to do is just accept who and what we are,some of us will be like catnip to men,because we are confident no matter our age or what we think we look like. We can't change the past but we can change our perceptions of it,that is my challenge,and to rid myself of the armidillo carapace of my fear.
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RHP User
12 years ago
if we could see ourselves through our lovers eyes. There would never be an issue with feeling beautiful
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RHP User
12 years ago
“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.” Anonynous.
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RHP User
12 years ago
......
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well said Anonynousand thank you Brave__Heart for finding/ knowing / liking and posting this???Ty B__H - that's one of the most amazing quotes I've read. So, so, sooooo, true!
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RHP User
12 years ago
here it is - posthumously inserted after the ?????, ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Hun :) Thanks for the Topic.. Honestly I can say almost all of the time I feel beautiful I appreciate My Sensuality Sexuallity everything about me I Love who I Am. on rare occassions when I'm feeling like crap I'm not focused on anything but getting better so those times don't count.. Besides I must be Beautiful My Name says I am.. that's the Meaning of My Name He!he! My Middle Name says I'm Nice meaning is Brave and Victorious so Yes I feel very Beautiful :) I hope you do too ..Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's an easy question to answer. Not as often as I should. How do we feel beautiful??Relationships, kids and life in general shrivel whatever desires me to feel beautiful, its often exhausting to find myself under the dark light. Many determinants in life are the cause of it. But I often need to look at it these issues I have differently as I cannot change them. My stomach, thighs may be full of stretch marks, lumps and bumps but they are a product from my young. My breasts may be ugly and sag but I have nurtured my babies off them at the start of their life, My face may be full of unwanted wrinkles but, they are a result of laughter, long life of smiling. As for my figure, I don't mind being a pear. Its a delicious fruit so why not eat me, I say.Every woman has something to complain about....I am no where near perfect, I am not beautiful, but I know within my heart that I am sincere. I just need to let my beauty flow and glow from the inside to out. People see that in me....so i guess I should too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for raising this topic. Absolutely everyone is beautiful. But yes unfortunately western society has fabricated this totally fucked up notion of what beautiful means. Loving yourself is beautiful, making mistakes is beautiful, forgiving oneself and others is beautiful, opening to vulnerability is beautiful, kindness is beautiful....i could go on. Personally, for me feeling beautiful has nothing to do with how i look. I feel beautiful when i smile at a stranger, when i hug someone after they have said something unkind, when i look in the mirror and smile at myself, when i feel at peace within myself. We all need to invest more time cultivating and expressing our true inner beauty. Now sexy is another thing!! I feel waaayyy more sexy in my mid 30s than i did in my 20s!! Im far more confident and i care more about myself. Being confident is sexy. But loving yourself and all others....that beauty is far more important. Big big love to you all xxoo
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel beautiful when im on my own dancing around my lounge with the music cranked up not giving a toss who see's me. I have gone through times in my life when I have been skinny and times when I have been much more curvy and to be honest I dont ever remember feeling sexy when I was skinny, sure men found me more attractive but I am happeir when I am healthy and in a good space in my life. I believe its much more about emotional well being than how i see myself in the mirror. Nicky
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RHP User
12 years ago
I generally feel beautiful most of the time, we all have little things that we like to cover up (personally i hate my freckles ;O shhhh)it eventully got to the point that i would require a full face of make up to check the mail although with age, a few beauty treatments to lessen them and an extremly patient and suportive partner, i'm slowly getting to the point where i can leave the house make-up less (huge deal for me!!:O)It all depends how much power you give that little evil voice in your head. Some days its louder than others.I work in the beauty industry where image seems to be everything, whether this has helped my insecurties or made them worse im not too sure but its probably impacted me somehow. The media plays a MASSIVE role in this! however thats just the age and time that we live in. Just like building physical muscle in our bodies takes time. Building up a stable, strong self image doesn't happen over night, although in saying that it can be taken away very quickly with harsh words or a bad day shopping trying to find a pair of jeans!! It's something that must be worked on constantly and kept in check.
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