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RHP

RHP User

M38 F32

Finding a guy play mate for my Partner and then possible MMF - how to approach? Any more 'sub'/shy experienced people?

July 04 2017

mmf

Don't how how to say this without it coming across wrong - But i know, that if She could find a guy she's into, attracted to and comfortable with - she'd love it. We've spoken. We've even said yes, would be great to take what we love, the openness and freeond to next level, agreeing to do it. Or for her to pick up a guy etc.We fantasise, she watched porn with me or even alone about 'stealing' a guy, secret fun, or MMF. but how?A) hot guys seem too full on on here. or just say 'wanna fuck'B) she is initially 'shy' or quiet - (but yet, if she gets started, she is hard to stop ha)She is super hot - like, she'd have zero problems ;) it is more she needs tobe comfortable and i need to know she is into it for her as much as me. how do you make that step. How to you go and do it?Me as the guy - do i leave her to it? encourage and say how much i love the thought etc. like it is more her fantasy. even a MMF with me not even their. so she can just 'let lose' zero strings etc.Do i go meet the guy for drinks too? Or let her go as she kinda needs to find him attractive and have that standalone? anybody done it? or are similar to us? we Love sex, kinky fun. but we are not like crazy sex with others every night ha. we ride the waves of what spices up the relationship. So while we are experienced, we are also new to the more 'out there' things we know we wish we could secretly try. We love being able to be open and admit - but saying what we want to do, and finding people to do it or taking first step into the unknown... especially with sex ha hard! i know every guy wants FFM ha, maybe we are odd - but we know what we would love if my partner could actually have fun - semi self conscious. or don't know how to find a guy that isn't a dick...First time swinging for us was similar - hard to jump in and do - but we did and We've met many couples now and will never look back - Tried heaps of things and are super open! but this is next level don't know where/how to start.but this has us stumped ;) any thoughts/experience would be great! :)

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Comments

  • swingalingson

    swingalingson

    7 years ago

    Go to a nice swingers club together that does let single guys enter. Chat with different guys.See which ones that you both feel comfty with. But do not tell the guys that you guys are looking for a regular playfriend for the girl. Or else the guys might try way to gard on what is on offer. Hell perhaps watch the guy in action not just sexually but socially. Try before ya buy. Anyone can type, but to carry themselves in person and socially is a different story. That is how you can find real dudes who show up and are in the scene Then if she is comfortable then ask for the guys number. Have her call him. Perhaps they can go on a possible playdate at a later date and let her do the rest. So support her... then let her do her thing on a date without pressure. If it is meant to be and she feels comfty with him then go from there. That is what I have done in the past and it has worked. Plus I have met the guys in person and gave my input and support which that is what the girls wanted and found my feedback important

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  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    7 years ago

    Approach the couples you are comfortable with and see if the husband plays alone as well as with his partner? You already both know she is attracted and comfortable with them? Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    It's a shame that sex brings in so many cavemen... so your quest to find a cerebral lover can be challenging. Your scenario, I did it a few years back. It was from that famous swiping app, and I ended up meeting the couple for a polite drink in the CBD - their fantasy, so I arrived with respect, manners, and open to their idea. Lucky me... MMF to nights out (and in) with her alone... she even called while we were having sex so he could listen in (it was kind of hot). It lasted a few months before they moved to the USA. Damn fun. I'd be keen to do it again - message me ;) Advice? It's out there... 'keep looking' is so cliche, but? Keep looking ;) There are some decent lads about that will meet your criteria.

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  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    My ex and I ventured down this road without any regrets... She had the best thumbs up fun ever.. Even though she insisted I'm never to be too far away... I agree there are quite a few "hot guys " here with that wanna fuck type attitude but you need to sift through that , put in some work and draw up a short list. If you shut down your mind and think every guy here is a dick , you won't get anywhere.. There are genuine guys , you just gotta look.. I'm a big believer in meeting over a coffee or drink at a bar in a neutral place to give both parties a chance to look the person in the eye and see if there's any chemistry.. This is the way did things and it worked for us. Good luck with your venture... Jay ..

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Mrs LAL is onto something there 👍

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  • IamMrSilly

    IamMrSilly

    7 years ago

    As one of those couples... I can reassure you it works and you can find what you are after! Look for the guys that are already attached and who will put in the effort. Yes there are lots of potential candidates to sort through but the right guys are out there. And when you find them..... :) Don't give up, but don't rush it, enjoy the search and let the guys work to get your attention. We love the chase. xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Thanks for feedback all! Sounds like we've more exploring to do! :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    What (where) are nice swingers clubs that let single guys enter? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I don't know but if you're gonna be there, I'm in 😊

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Why the fck did you bring ME into this argument?????I have not made any suggestive comments.. nor any disparaging remarks...I am feeling targeted here *smiles*

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    When chatting to a single guy look for one who engages with you both rather than just showing your lady all the attention

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  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    7 years ago

    Ally & Josh.... the way I see it, you're in here,and I will assume that Ally is in here on occasion too. Yes, the guys in here all too frequently think that sending messages acting like dribbling sex offenders will be effective... god knows why. But as you've said this is about her, and that she has agreed to the idea....I think involving her is the primary consideration so that she can choose, she can engage with someone and she can be the beneficiary of her own selection. I also think there is benefit to be had from a pressure-free meet with any potentials over cocktails.... after screening via phone call..... because some people communicate significantly differently in writing or over the phone than they do in a real face to face social scenario. Finally, depending upon your relationship boundaries.... allowing her to meet for drinks may work better for her without your presence so that she doesn't have your influence affecting her connection DG - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Laidback_Fun

    Laidback_Fun

    7 years ago

    Whoever she chooses will be an incredibly lucky man! Good luck guys! Xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    ..ain't that the truth.. one hot lady... 👍. 👅. 😍

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Hey it's Leon here. I've had many of the same concerns. So I read a lot. You've got to want this. For her enjoyment. Make her feel like the star. Let her lead the direction. She knows what she wants but always protect her. Start off by chatting on kik. Let them do the talking. Let the guy feel comfortable enough to establish a connection. Chemistry you know. Be 50% involved. We get attention from guys here but we felt more comfortable at a nice classy bar in another city. Nothing eventuated but there were a few flirts. We would consider that avenue again. However I'd recommend chatting to guys our age yourself on the side for an initial preview and report your findings to her. She could take it from there - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Haleakala

    Haleakala

    7 years ago

    I know that couples can get inundated with messages when they add seeking males to their profile. Your profile specifically says no single males, as a result you may only get messages from the 'wanna fuck' brigade who don't read the profile. Maybe don't add it to the seeking checklist part of your profile so you don't appear in searches but mention something in the text part of your profile about what you are looking for? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    We're in exactly the same boat! Good luck 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    First of all add in your profile that you looking for a guy. Second meet a guy in pub or club if both sides comfortable then all the fun part. I meet my first couple on dinner. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • sheandhe

    sheandhe

    7 years ago

    Thanks for posting allyjosh456 as I was about to post pretty much the same. I've been keen to see my wife with another guy for a while now and she has decided she'd like it too. Where to start has been the biggest challenge as some of you have mentioned here, finding the right guy is tough and as temp_territorian mentioned, I was hesitant to add it to our profile for fear of having too much wrong single guy attention.My wife has said she'd like me to arrange so hoping I can find someone willing to catch up for a coffee with me first to suss out so to speak. I think him and my wife chatting over Kik prior is a good idea too. But the scenario we're chasing is basically introducing him to my blind folded wife on the night so he has to be the right kind of guy.Watching with interest as I search for the right guy.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    My husband and I are in the same boat.. we wanted to take a fantasy that we have milling in the background of our naughty heads for years and we have been searching done the should we do a friend bit, now we are trying to look for a like-minded 3rd with the same values, etc.. however, it's difficult they are either too young, not the age or the picture they have printed or just not our types.. some are lovely no offense it is very difficult to search for someone that could help us and perhaps keep like a rag doll to use and oh ok not abuse well depends.. Jokes aside it is really difficult to find the chosen one because our standards are very judgemental (hate that word but it is very true)

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  • highwaychile

    highwaychile

    7 years ago

    What about the male halves of your playing couple friends? We occasionally play solo with our friends (if one of us is unavailable) another scenario that was suggested by a playmate was to let mrs have night out with another female playmate and see who/how many men they can take home together. From experience when it comes to female enjoyment it's less about us men and more about the situation/context that makes her feel sexy. Having a great guy doesnt necessarily add to the excitement but having a dud often kills it lol i guess the idea is to curate a scenario which minimises the opportunity for said guys to speak too much and fuck it all up lol Good luck! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Dex1473

    Dex1473

    7 years ago

    Yes we have had the same thing. We have talked about having a single guy join us as we have given up on a single girl lol. Hard to find a guy we both click with and that Mrs Dex finds attractive or we just get hey when can I fuck her. We have chatted with a few on Kik but they can never commit to meeting up when suggests that they are not who they are. You would think that a single guy would jump at the chance to play with a couple.

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  • Newcruiser

    Newcruiser

    7 years ago

    Hi Dex I'm more than willing to meet with you guys commitment free to let mrs see if she wants to play just hit me up here or I'm on kik jus msg me for my user id

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  • tempted12

    tempted12

    7 years ago

    Mrs Tempted here, we were extremely lucky to enter the scene and meet a fantastic buck almost straight up. He became a regular for us. I myself am very shy at first and find it hard to tell the difference between fuckboys and genuine respectful possible bucks for our mmf. We are now looking for new friends, and have found the search hard going, but keep looking and chatting. There are some fantastic guys on here that are genuine and respectful. X

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Have you thought about asking some of the other couples on here to recommend a single guy that they regularly play with?

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  • sheandhe

    sheandhe

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'Pommyfucker' Have you thought about asking some of the other couples on here to recommend a single guy that they regularly play with? Hi, I've been thinking of doing just this as a recommendation would be very valuable when searching for the 'first guy'. Spoken to quite a few on here now with some who may suit, yet lots we're just not sure and remain a little hesitant with them. We understand we will have to try at some point and commit, yet having a recommended option from someone who has done exactly what we are trying to do would be excellent. Cheers

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  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    .. thinking and wondering about it is where it stays if you don't get up off your bum and do something positive. I believe there's plenty of well presented respectable guys who fit what you're looking for , so don't procrastinate by allowing the other drop kicks here to spoil it for you. You do have to put in some work to get things moving and just bite the bullet and arrange to meet over a coffee or club to give you the chance to check if there's any chemistry or not.. This is the way my ex and I did it and it worked a treat .. But it only happened after we both agreed to stop thinking and do something positive.. And the thing is , it didn't take long at all... Once you do , you'll wonder why you waited so long .. Definately one of the most exciting things you'll ever do.. If you're serious , let me know...

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  • newbie_couple99

    newbie_couple99

    7 years ago

    Hey allyjosh456, We were in the same boat about a year ago. We'd played with a few couples but not had an MMF. Both of us were keen to experience 2 guys for her, but Mrs newbie_couple99 was also a bit shy and not one to instigate an encounter so she left it completely to me the Mr. She said that she would probably over analyse each profile too much and asked me to take care of it haha. Of course I know her better than anyone so I began the hunt looking for a single guy. I'll note that our profile also doesn't say we're looking for a single guy either. We still get shitty 1 line messages from time wasters, but every now and then we get a message from a guy who has taken the time to fully read our profile and sends an engaging message. Being verified, having pictures with face pics in a private gallery and a decent write up is essential and shows a lot about the person. As the Mr, I'm looking for a guy that is going to shag my wife, so I want to know that he's a decent guy and want to know a bit about him to see if he'll click with my Mrs. We are surprised at how many single guys don't take the time to do this... A 2 line bio and a dick pic doesn't jump out at anyone haha. Verification takes 5 mins... Really it's not hard! And validations obviously help a lot too. The site is flooded with single time wasters, but there are decent guys here ;) I got a short list together and contacted a few guys saying I was the Mr and explained the situation. Based on their replies it was easy to see who were gentlemen looking to enhance our play and those who were just keen to fuck anything that moves. After a few messages, we arranged to meet a guy just for a drink and make sure we all connected. I'll add that Mrs still hadn't looked at any guys profiles and was going in blind. The guy was nice, had experienced MMF's in the past and we were both happy to proceed so we stayed in touch and made the arrangements later. We've also met a single guy at a party that we connected with and the 3 of us began chatting Again, we were able to get a good feel that he was genuine and had also experienced MMF. We have met with him a few times and always have a mind blowing evening ;) Lastly, we were told about a nice single guy that people we met at a party had played with and they recommended him. So we connected and began chatting, met for a coffee and were happy to proceed at a later date. The wife and I continue to chat to the guys on KIK and because we both have accounts it's actually fun for the 2 of us to chat together to each guy. It makes Mrs feel desired by other men and it's just fun to have some sexy banter. So just know that yes, there are a lot of time wasters out there BUT there are also true gentlemen that are really grateful to be included in your play! Some guys understand that this is about the 3 of you having fun together and not just about the guy taking over and fucking your wife (unless that's what you want). Mrs newbie_couple99 loves having 2 guys all over her and I absolutely love watching her being pleasured by another guy. It's the best porn scene ever. So we recommend establishing trust by chatting, meeting in person for a drink (no play on first catch up takes away any pressure for both parties), then if all happy, take the next step. This is what works for us. It is super fun, it's been amazing for our relationship and it's a different dynamic to playing with another couple (which we also very much enjoy). Oh and while 'everyone' is looking for an FFM with the illustrious unicorn, you would be surprised how many couples actually enjoy MMF. It's very common and you only have to look on any amateur porn site to see how many MMF vides there are. Have fun and good luck. The journey is worth it :) A&K

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  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    i couldn't say it better if I tryed. I found myself nodding to everything you had to say. The way you explained your experiences is exactly to way it worked for both my ex and I. And your right , there are some really well mannered guys here who appreciate couples do have their boundrys and respect that ? On the odd occasions I've been the invited , I always insist on meeting for a coffee or drink first ' giving them and me some time to get a feel if it's right or not.. without any pressure then take things from there... Jay...

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  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    I'll be most dissappointed if 'allyjosh456, doesn't acknowledge your post.. So much effort deserves a reply...

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  • newbie_couple99

    newbie_couple99

    7 years ago

    Glad to hear mate 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    If we go together wer fine

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Your situation sounds very much like ours so it has been great reading the responses here! Mrs E recently re-wrote our profile to try and be more specific in what we are after and it is comforting to know that we aren't the only ones chasing this scenario! We too seem to still receive the "wanna fuck" one liners or those that just want endless nude pics, but it is good to know that there are genuine people out there :) Also newbie_couple99, great reply!! Really enjoyed reading it :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Depending on your criteria, it can take years. Heaps of time wasters and people who just like getting PICS and having a female stroke their ego. I post the ADS (Male) and ask for PICS Face initially and make sure they meet the criteria. Based on that initial reply from them, I'll do the filtering at that stage. I'll show the wife the ones that make it through and leave it up to her to make contact. As i said, heaps of time wasters, but the 2 guys we have met so far, you could tell in the first reply that they were serious.

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