F108
Finding love on RHP... Is it possible?
March 23 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Michelle8267. You're obviously smoking hot! Your photo draws me in every time. I'm very new here and just finding my way through. I've read your profile several times it just seems a bit negative. If you don't take a chance how will you find anyone at all?
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RHP User
11 years ago
It jusr needs a little tidying up - Ask for what you desire and let it be known that you would not be opposed to something more serious should the right person happen along... Good luck!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mickelle , I truly believe you can , but you have trained yourself to look for certain attributes for your casual arrangements ,maybe if you vary what your looking for I'm sure you'll find plenty of guys on here open to something more serious if the rite person came along . I know I'm open to it , however if anyone told me that on a first date ( not talking sex here ) I would probably run , very much the same if you met someone socially and said that on your first meeting , surely we haven't lost the ability to get to know someone first , love isn't something to be found on a computer screen just because boxes are ticked , love is something that grows
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ps to my last comment In the meantime till the rite person comes along there is nothing wrong with being naughty as hell
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been single for over 7 years. The last 2 have seen some traumatic events in my life that made me think I want something more secure. My experience online however is that nobody really gives a rats arse about anybody else as long as they get what they want and will tell you anything to get it. I am a nice person, loyal, very honest and up front and all I seem to find is bullshit. I am quite jaded now and have gone from being a very trusting person, to someone who doesn't really read into anything anyone says because it is probably just lies anyway. That is why I joined this site, at least I know it is about sex and if anything more comes of it then great. I would kill for a date but nobody wants the hassle, the expense or the 'time wasting' (really not sure how anyone finds meeting new and interesting people 'time wasting', even if it is just another kookie story to share). Sex is all I am ever offered. Everyone else tells me to keep my legs shut to find Mr Right. Well, I have a high sex drive and I am in my sexual prime, do I have to be a prude to find someone who likes me for me? Apparently if you love sex, you aren't the type to take home to Mum. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
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RHP User
11 years ago
it's impossible to find love anywhere, the more you look for love the more love slips through your fingers. Better to be patient and open so that love can find you, which will most likely be when and where you least expect it. 2. From a profile perspective - guys will be put off by words like I'm looking for a relationship, or I want to be in love, or even worse I want to be in a relationship by whatever date, unless the guy is a relationship junkie of course. Better to use words like I'm open to love/a relationship if it feels right, No pressure, just go with the flow and see where it leads. These words will help to filter out guys who want to avoid relationships and love. Like a lot of things, how you really feel about love is probably better spoken than typed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Mickelle Just saw your new and improved, much more positive profile.Hope to hear from you soon.PS. I'm still right here
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
If I could find someone that I wanted to spend time with, that liked me for me, that was as naughty as me, if we had spark, well that would be awesome.... I guess you've got just as good of a chance in here, as you do anywhere else...but just as monkeyman said enjoy, be as naughty as hell, whilst you're waiting for that one to come along.......💋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I have been single for over 7 years. The last 2 have seen some traumatic events in my life that made me think I want something more secure. My experience online however is that nobody really gives a rats arse about anybody else as long as they get what they want and will tell you anything to get it. I am a nice person, loyal, very honest and up front and all I seem to find is bullshit. I am quite jaded now and have gone from being a very trusting person, to someone who doesn't really read into anything anyone says because it is probably just lies anyway. That is why I joined this site, at least I know it is about sex and if anything more comes of it then great. I would kill for a date but nobody wants the hassle, the expense or the 'time wasting' (really not sure how anyone finds meeting new and interesting people 'time wasting', even if it is just another kookie story to share). Sex is all I am ever offered. Everyone else tells me to keep my legs shut to find Mr Right. Well, I have a high sex drive and I am in my sexual prime, do I have to be a prude to find someone who likes me for me? Apparently if you love sex, you aren't the type to take home to Mum. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Hi Ralf. I just read your profile and yep, I see why you are only offered sex, because that is all you are asking for!. Men who think they can get sex without getting to know a person will do just that, I think anyway.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Gus19745150' Hi Mickelle Just saw your new and improved, much more positive profile.Hope to hear from you soon.PS. I'm still right here You are a grey ghost! Not sure about the OP but I think most women want to avoid horror stories.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Totally agree with you! It's all I'm ever offered these days too. And I thought my profile was pretty specific about what I am looking for. Silly me believing people actually read profiles. Best of luck Mickelle. Hope you find what you are seeking! L
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'ralf74' I have been single for over 7 years. The last 2 have seen some traumatic events in my life that made me think I want something more secure. My experience online however is that nobody really gives a rats arse about anybody else as long as they get what they want and will tell you anything to get it. I am a nice person, loyal, very honest and up front and all I seem to find is bullshit. I am quite jaded now and have gone from being a very trusting person, to someone who doesn't really read into anything anyone says because it is probably just lies anyway. That is why I joined this site, at least I know it is about sex and if anything more comes of it then great. I would kill for a date but nobody wants the hassle, the expense or the 'time wasting' (really not sure how anyone finds meeting new and interesting people 'time wasting', even if it is just another kookie story to share). Sex is all I am ever offered. Everyone else tells me to keep my legs shut to find Mr Right. Well, I have a high sex drive and I am in my sexual prime, do I have to be a prude to find someone who likes me for me? Apparently if you love sex, you aren't the type to take home to Mum. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Hi Ralf. I just read your profile and yep, I see why you are only offered sex, because that is all you are asking for!. Men who think they can get sex without getting to know a person will do just that, I think anyway. That's because I have given up looking for love, it can come and find me. In the meantime, here I am.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Would be nice to matter to somebody though. :'-(
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd like to think I matter...
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sweetgem
11 years ago
Both times prior to joining RHP and post RHP (yep, RHP is sort of a history for me now in terms of meeting new people, because I am not looking on here anymore). However, just because it didn't work out for me, it doesn't mean it won't happen to you OP, so may be give it time and patience, and you never know :-) All the best and never give up :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I didn't join RHP to find love but I have and the feeling is mutual so yes, it is possible. And your profile is better now after the change. Have patience (a couple of drinks, a few slabs of beer, a smoke or 3 ) and hope you find what you're looking for.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Move to Queensland Meeka , I think I know someone that would be more than happy to help you out there
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks everyone for your input, feedback and comments. I've made changes to my profile wording based on all your advice, so we'll see how it goes :). Let me know if you think it could still do with some tweaking. @ Lovinit28 & Rudemonkey... I definitely intend to have some naughty fun in the meantime. 'Road testing' potentials will be half the fun;). @ Gus... Meeka is right, at least one pic is an absolute essential, even if its just in your PG. Finally, apologies if this is all squished up. I do type in paragraphs, but when I post it seems to come through as one big chunk of text :/ Much love, Mickelle.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Answer to question 1: Yes, we did.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Regardless of what you ask for, you actually get what you settle for, or accept. You can ask for 'love' but if you end up settling for a casual fuck that's what you'll get. So the standards you set for yourself are key. They won't guarantee you find love but they will ensure you don't go down the rabbit hole of meaningless sex expecting to find love at the end of it. Ralf, you sound quite bitter and jaded. You say you want to be wanted for more than sex but that you have a high sex drive and should be able to have sex too. Of course you can, but don't be surprised when offering one takes the other off the table. For whatever reason that's how a lot of men roll. I have a small handful of male friends who I met here and who are absolutely looking for love. There wasn't a spark between us, but had their been I'm certain I could have had a relationship with any of them. Even men from here that I have had casual sex with over the years were looking for love. In fact, I can only think of one who wasn't - and that was just because he was young and having fun at the time. I'd bet money he's attached now. There's no single path to finding love - some have meaningless sex and fall in love, some date the old-fashioned way and fall in love, hell, some people find themselves in arranged marriages and fall in love. I think the secret is to stay open in your heart and be clear in your intentions. My profile is deliberately written to put most men off. My auto-reply then deals with anyone who didn't read my profile. What's left are men who do read it, do 'get' it and are happy to start getting to know me from that basis. My profile certainly narrows the pool of men I interact with on here, but it ALSO significantly increases the quality of those interactions. I have wonderful connections with lovely men as a result. Maybe I'll stumble across love in here (I have before) or maybe it will be somewhere else in life's big tapestry. I do know, though, that by being clear about what I'm here for and filtering out men who aren't in a compatible head space, I save them and me a lot of disgruntlement. Not a bitter or twisted moment results :) And one final small insight - if a man seems to get me and my profile and to be willing to take his time getting to know me, but then soon starts hinting at sex or dropping raunchy comments I tell him once I'm not looking for that and if he continues I stop contact. This is not because I'm not interested in sex, of course I am! And it's not because I think there's anything wrong with him for wanting sex. It's a simple matter of compatibility - I like a man to be a grown up, able to be real and honest, not playing the dating game as a ruse to get sex. I like him to be comfortable with self-restraint, to be as interested in getting to know my heart as he is in getting in my pants. If he seems fixated on the latter and unable to focus on the former then he's unequivocally not for me, as a friend or otherwise. My standards for how I want to be treated are very high and they serve me exceptionally well. I don't get screwed over by people. I do have truly lovely connections with men l in my life. We all get what we settle for, I believe. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Would be nice to matter to somebody though. :'-( It would
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RHP User
11 years ago
yeah, I am bitter, not quite twisted yet, just really a bit depressed about it really which is why I can't be bothered with the headfuck anymore. I am happy enough in the rest of my life, would just be nice to have someone who cares to share it with. I don't want to dwell on it or I am going to become an emotional wreck and I don't do emotional well and I don't do wreck either, lol.
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RHP User
11 years ago
@Lilmiss... Very wise words indeed. @ Ralf74... I know exactly how you feel :/
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Mickelle, read your profile, from my perspective it reads just fine. But it doesn't have the fear factor of a commitment seeking lady, it's kind of sexy, sweet, to the point without saying your seeking a firm commitment. I'd leave it as that personally. From your meets you will gain knowledge of what you seek in your partner to be and if you've met that special one on here. You look gorgeous and seem to be knowledgeable and obviously articulate. All good things come to those who wait. Don't push for love, it will find you. Hope it does, and hope you share that info if you do. (Gives hope to the rest seeking it) :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
One of my reasons for joining this and other adult sites is to find my sexual match, as I find it hard being in a relationship/fwb when I'm not sexually satisfied. I have had a few girlfriends in the past, that I loved dearly but I wasn't happy with the sex. No I didn't leave or give up on them because of it and I won't pressure someone to do something they don't like. I just want to find someone who is into the same things. Having said that, I do believe sex and love can go together. Its just a matter of being compatible in and out of the bedroom. I have kind of given up on finding love as every time I look, I end up getting hurt or frustrated again. I'm a very affectionate person and if there's no intimacy and regular sex then I won't be happy. For me being in love with someone is mind, body and soul, and enjoying being with each other. The romantic in me wants love but the realist in me says my chances are slim, on sites or out in real life. Also, not everyone on RHP is here just for sex or playing around. There are a few of us who only want one partner. We are just trying to be happy in our own way.
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