M65
First Date
August 20 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
the other person is sending me into a coma,after the first half hour I politely excuse myself and leave. I made this decision after spending two hours with a man who mistook me for a therapist. I feel for you 50zcool,did she appear to be attracted to you ?....if so perhaps she got cold feet or was just ambivalent . If you really liked her perhaps a quick catch up for a coffee might clarify the situation...is she sincere about being friends,because there is nothing wrong with making a new friend and you never know,she might have a group of hot single women friends. Always the opportunist mex Hugs H
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RHP User
12 years ago
Generally at the very least I'll give it two hours... I make myself scarce at the end of this time limit if there's nothing there, but if the person doesn't come across as attractive to me however we're having a great conversation, I'd stay for a while longer. I can understand how you would feel disappointed after three-four hours of chatting, however it would seem a bit strange if after half an hour of meeting someone new, you stopped mid-conversation and said 'Look, I really only just like you as a potential friend. Could we just continue this date as friends? Otherwise we can just finish up now.'
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RHP User
12 years ago
My thinking is you usually would know within an hour if the chemistry is there so another meet would be on. Or not.Neither party is looking for anymore than fwb.Hesione;Great conversations, two way, lots of laughs, common interests, etc etc but no cigar ! And all good, I accept the decisions etc. Sincere ? I believe so.This "nice" thing is a recurring theme though, I'm going to buy a V8, a flannel shirt and drink VB.Maybe do a certificate in arsehole-ness at TAFE.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No time limits, unless I had to be somewhere else later. Cheers Felonius...Just see how it pans out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Two hours and an interesting birth spot!! That's so much value!I don't often go on meets. But when I do, I don't have a set time in mind. I should point out that I've always had extra time up my sleeve just in case things go swimmingly.. :-P
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RHP User
12 years ago
I never meet except for a coffee. I do not do the message thing before hand except a couple or times. I do not do the text thing except to say time and place. Reason being I know in ten seconds that I am not attracted to a person only if i see them in the flesh. Sometimes when you spend a little time with a person they can grown on you. However if a guy took the time, to organise a day, to make the effort to get there. If it was a date situation and not a meet me and see if we just want sex situation. Then I would feel obligated to spend time with that person. If you just want to know if a woman will drop her pants for you, then make it just a quick coffee. If you want to go on a date, just to meet a woman and perhaps make a friend on the way then allow her to decide for herself if she wants more than just friendship. Its a shame you felt that the woman had to make up her mind about you in five minutes. And that the premise of the meting was sex. Yes I can smell your mood, But think of the women as well on the other end of the scale that get all dressed up and wait for that date or that meeting and no body shows up at all. Human interaction does not always go according to plan. I guess this means you do not want her as a friend as she clearly wasted your time. We cannot help it if we are not attracted to people re chemistry, but we all have to face it at times and its not easy to say to a person. Besides she may have found you charming and interesting and good company. Nothing wrong with that is there?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks Tuscan, your right human interaction doesn't always go to plan, you put yourself out there and give it your best, after that what happens happens !I do appreciate the time and energy that goes into dating and yes it is a two way street, I'm clean, I smell nice and the wine is cold.But I imagine people do things in different ways and that was the fundamental question, so thanks for the first two paragraphs.As for "If you just want to know""It's a shame you felt"and " I guess this means "Your making massive unfounded assumptions and I'd thank you not too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting '50zcool'My thinking is you usually would know within an hour if the chemistry is there so another meet would be on. Or not. Neither party is looking for anymore than fwb. Hesione; Great conversations, two way, lots of laughs, common interests, etc etc but no cigar ! And all good, I accept the decisions etc. Sincere ? I believe so. This "nice" thing is a recurring theme though, I'm going to buy a V8, a flannel shirt and drink VB. Maybe do a certificate in arsehole-ness at TAFE. Come in all shapes and sizes, and I do like my boys with the V8 and the flannel shirt , who drink what every they like. who have rough hands. Hard shoulders and arms , tats ohhh yeah baby. Your right though, its a hell of a thing for a nice guy to get laid on here. Those rough bad boys are taking all the snatch, especially in Western Australia I hope the mine thing goes on for eeeeveeeeeeeeeeeeer , FIFO men are my cup of tea... ohh hang on as I am a bogan myself FIFO men are my cup of bourbon and cock ohh ummmm coke!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' Two hours and an interesting birth spot!! That's so much value! Should make it a raffle prize...?? Especially when you know its location :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
Awwwwwww 50's just be a bastard and you won't even talk - just go straight to the goodies To answer your question, I go with no expectations nor time limits. In saying that, Im a girls scout and I always come prepared. I normally can tell within half an hour of meeting if there's an attraction from my side, if not, I just say that it's not working for me. Some stay and enjoy the time, some say that it isn't working for them either, and others can't wait to get away. But on average, the "dates" last at least a couple of hours.
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
Bit like those chess games where they punch the clock after each move.If you are having a good time what does time matter. When you go out with friends do you set a time limit.Conversation,interaction,just enjoy. If it leads to something great if not so?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well you never said which cheek, so we still have some mystery. Being geeky, I've been known to go geocaching. So bugger the raffle, make it a treasure hunt with a FTF prize. (Geocache in joke)..Hey what was this thread about again?@Smilingwithfun - The idea of using a chess timer on a conversation amuses me. But some how I think my side of the clock would run down first :-P
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RHP User
12 years ago
I may be a newby on RHP, but not internet dating - now a 7 year grizzled veteran of the latter. My suggestions for setting out to a first date.........There should be no expectations as to what will happen apart from a nice coffee. I prefer to continue on to a meal as long as we appear to be getting along well to get a very good idea of the nature of the person opposite me. A meeting will rapidly sort out whether there is any chemistry between you - at a rough estimate, I suspect you know within 5 minutes or less of meeting. After much discussion, the conclusion that seems to be the most logical is your body and mind together come to an answer to the question "Would I sleep with this person?" Once a yes or no has been very rapidly established, basically it's all over, red rover. There seem to be very occasional extenuating circumstances that may sway that decision later, but not terribly often. The meal is to sort out any deal breakers (wait person putter downers, drug addictions, control freaks etc etc) and to enjoy the company of someone who is enjoying my company too.I'm sure we have all met someone where your first thought was "Ooohhhh dear......this is never going to happen". The first time this happened to me was after finally meeting a woman who refused to show me her photo. We got on famously over the phone and text. However, at the first meeting there was.......nothing. I felt like a big, superficial Philistine and because I'm a tree hugger by nature, thought I'd betrayed myself. We did, however, have a great 5 hour date and she is now one of those people you drop straight back into a conversation you might have left 5 years ago. All very good. Now, the instant chemistry or not is just what happens. If they didn't like you or vice versa, isn't it lucky you found out early. What have you wasted? A couple of hours of your life eating and drinking with someone who didn't want to pursue you. C'est la vie. There will be plenty of others. And at least the food was good.Incidentally, the very worst (and shortest) vanilla date I went on lasted an hour! I was her first date ever - 18 months separated. She sat down opposite me with her legs and arms crossed, torso turned at 90 degrees to me and very intermittent eye contact. Hmmmmmmmm body language not looking too hopeful here.Monosyllabic answers without the slightest interest in anything about me made the date turn into an interview. I eventually ask about a person's marriage to gauge several things about a person's nature and so finally got to this point. She started CRYING!O...M...G! For those that have met me, I'm not a boofhead - actually I'm a tree hugger and am very, very gentle with people. Lusty...yes. Funny....yes. Honest (not nastiness masquerading as honesty).....yes. But my underlying credo is "We all have a duty of care......we are all fragile".So person opposite me is sobbing now and I feel like an arsehole. Waiting for mammoth security men to pick me up by the armpits and toss me out into the Como street. So, I did something I've never, ever done before or since. And that was.......I said to her,"I'm going to do us both a favour and we're calling off this date right now. Let's go". And that was it. Gave her 24 hours to apologize for such appalling behaviour. And I'm still waiting.Longest first date - hmmmm an overnighter. So, I'd never suggest setting a time limit - who knows what you might miss out on by being......errrr......rigid LOL.Interesting addendum. Met a woman once, who after 20 minutes told me she didn't find me physically attractive, but loved how my mind worked. OK, so all gloves were off at that point and we had a quite intimate and very extended and fun date, yarning on about anything and everything. Several hours of fantastic fun. At the end of the date, I did what all SNAGs do and walked her to her car - one of the eseential things in dating, in my opinion. Told her it was a fantastic afternoon, pecked her on the cheek and walked away.Got home to an email asking why I didn't give her a real kiss. Sorry, but "No means NOOOO!".
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting '50zcool'Thanks Tuscan, your right human interaction doesn't always go to plan, you put yourself out there and give it your best, after that what happens happens ! I do appreciate the time and energy that goes into dating and yes it is a two way street, I'm clean, I smell nice and the wine is cold. But I imagine people do things in different ways and that was the fundamental question, so thanks for the first two paragraphs. As for "If you just want to know" "It's a shame you felt" and " I guess this means " Your making massive unfounded assumptions and I'd thank you not too.Fair enough, I do not know you at all. I guess when I say "you" its more a general sense of the we or us. I do apolgise if i offended you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
He was a really dirty man....and such an embarrassing experience.We met in a local coffee shop and while I was waiting for him , a close friend her husband,my doctors receptionist and her husband arrived and sat at a table behind me. At this point I wasn't sure whether to flee or not...and then the really dirty man arrived...yes he was COVERED in black dirt! Perhaps I should have been flattered that he was soooo eager to meet me that he hadn't even bothered to wash his face or hands,or change his dirt covered work clothes...needless to say I made my excuses and quickly left. The next time I saw my friend she quizzed me as to who he was....I muttered something along the lines of..."oh that was the plumber''..x Hugs H
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RHP User
12 years ago
I lived a fair distance from the CBD and so I used to organise several coffee appointments for the same day. If someone turned up late then we got less time but I took the view that if they were too slack to let me know they were going to be late then they would probably be slack about other things. If I was having a good time with someone and time was running out then I would suggest a drinks or dinner date for another time. I always went out hoping for the best and expecting the worst.
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