M49 F47
First meets at swingers clubs
October 09 2017
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
Totally agree with your points. It's also safe (particularly for a single) and reasonably inexpensive.
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MrandMrsBrady
7 years ago
We have done this several times for the reasons you outlined. - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
agree with all points ,we do not meet up with people we have never met in real life for anything anymore ,but also add in places like meet and greets ,parties, that we are going to or thinking about ,for us it removes most of the awkwardness and pressure mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
We think that it is a very good idea to meet at a swingers club, even if it’s just for drinks. It’s a safe environment, has a sexy/ naughty ambience, and there are other couples to chat with and so it takes the pressure off. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
The one time i went to a swingers club I felt very uncomfortable and had lots of guys who did not like to be told no thanks (politely). So it has really turned me off swingers clubs even to just meet someone there nsa. Hope it has changed since i last went to one 6 years ago. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
If you meet at a bar for drinks only, not interested then no awkward moments to say chat later and make like Casper. At a swingers club, drinks then what? The venue is there for play. What you say thanks, don't like your heads and go play with others? In my mind it adds awkwardness if not wanting to play
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RHP User
7 years ago
Depends on your communication. If you indulge in lots of sexy emails and sharing lots of naked pics And intimate detail about yourself prior to meeting. Then that is awkward. If you exchange some online dialogue. Agree that you may have lots in common so let's meet at the club. Then you can spend and hour or two flirting, exchanging intimate info face to face, if you hit it off that is. If you don't like the look of them, then keep it light and friendly. Lots of regual swingers should be cool with that a lot of the time I think. I personally think that single men are the ones who often get their hopes up or assume a sure thing so they may get more upset by a rejection. But, being at a club which gives options of hooking up with others should mitigate that. In a perfect world....
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
in a club,or somewhere sameish body language can say more than anything coming out your mouth , without sounding offensive or hurtful, and you just part ways find some others to chat or play with or go about your own business up front ,,disappearing like casper would be awful next time you bumped into each other ,.what do you say oops got lost in the way back from the loo and ended up back at home ,lol mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
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MysteryMr
7 years ago
Personally I would have no issue meeting at a club, but not everyone is the same.All your points are good, but they are coming from someone who has enjoyed clubs and know what they are like. Other couples who have been to clubs before will probably have no issue meeting there, however. 1. Couples who are just starting out may feel bit intimidated about going to a club on a first meet.2. By inviting them to a club, in their mind it creates more expectation and perceived pressure to play.3. They may be after a more intimate setting with just the 4 of you.4. They may not be interested in swingers clubs at all. I can think of many reasons why others may not like your suggestion. Myst
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RHP User
7 years ago
Well we dont like offending people but we dont really care about offending people if we say no. They either dont click with us or we dont click with them which you should be able to handle it like an adult. And what if they post a picture that isnt really them? We prefer to meet in a club because if the safety the club provides. So 100% yes to meeting in a club. Besides, its not like theyre out of options if we say no so it always goes over smoothly :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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ReyandJean
7 years ago
Clubs for us, both to separate the online wheat from the chaff, but also for access to a playspace. It is expensive to meet up first time for a drink, what with time, trains, cabs, babysitters etc. To go to the effort and have a no show or the guy arriving without missus, and all the other issues has been too annoying in the past. The party/club meet is better for us for all the reasons in posts above. We sometimes meet in a pub en route to the party, so people who are not comfortable going to a venue do have an option.
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RHP User
7 years ago
To preface; I’ve had some very good dates at Swinger’s Clubs, and want to say that my personal answer is: it depends... That being said, for Single Guys particularly, given the high up-front charges that most clubs charge (rightly, I believe); I suspect it creates a sub-conscious expectation of reciprocation of some sort... getting your money’s worth, so to speak. Therefore, I’d highly recommend really clear communications in order to avoid any expectations or resentment. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DonnaBrett
7 years ago
That's a no from us, while it's a great environment and safe and all those things. We feel to ask a couple/person to fork out $80 or more just to meet is a bit much. Just make the initial meeting earlier in the evening at a bar or coffee shop etc. In 99% of cases it should be evident within that first hour whether or not there is a connection. If that happens play at home, if there is no connection if still leaves plenty of time for either/both of the parties to still go to a club or elsewhere to find action if they so desire.
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RHP User
7 years ago
good for couples meeting couples, and those who are already familiar with swingers' clubs. Not sure how many couples who have never been to a club would be keen on that option though. Also see quite a few issues with meeting singles (men and women) that way.
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Sawadee
7 years ago
and from a novice looking on , your reasoning seems a very smart way to hinge your bets.. Good thinking ..Jay..
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FredAndGinger2
7 years ago
Not every couple / person is comfortable at a club. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
That we have been to, have friendly public bar / lounge areas, where there is no play. They thus appear to be like any other club. And one is not forced to dress down at all. - Posted from rhpmobile
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hotdelights
7 years ago
Mikes place has couples .and few singe ladies on sat night would be our pick as i would not like single men hounding us may there should be a mix night or singles night HAS ANY COUPLES HAD THAT EXPERIENCE ON A.SAT NIGHT
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
Given that most people prefer to move toward a meet as soon as possible, chances are your first meet is going to be after less than 10 messages.... Then meeting in a place that’s geared toward getting naked?? Smells of sublime expectation to me.... But Then again, I also prefer to get to know the person through normal dates before introducing sex into the equation. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
What they said 👍 Just grab a coffee ☕
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RHP User
7 years ago
I agree, one on one meetings are different. Too much pressure. I'd rather meet for coffee or a drink first when meeting someone I met online.
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megz85g
7 years ago
I've met a few guys at clubs, I go often so I'm very comfortable but most it's been their first time so for a few it's been a bit overwhelming. It's handy for me as I can rarely host, and does a neutral place that on the nights I play only costs 15-20 for entry so much cheaper than a hotel. - Posted from rhpmobile
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jamhunter
7 years ago
I think it’s smart if everyone’s open to it and could make a fantastic first play/ meet! Also weeds out fakes. Though may be tricky for time poor and some clubs could disadvantage singles... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
In the spirit of the subject line - anyone feel like trialing Our Secret Spot this weekend (noting that we'll have to meet outside, of course)?
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RHP User
7 years ago
We like the concept of meeting at a club (though we haven’t been to many). It definitely takes the “do or die” pressure off. We are a couple that has fun no matter where we are, so we don’t feel the need to be with others to enjoy ourselves in the club. Nobody should feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to, and clubs can provide a safe-haven for choice. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with chatting and getting to know someone a bit more first. Surely it is always a good idea in any situation right? I guess everyone’s experience will differ depending on their own levels of play and limits they have. ♍️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks for all your comments, interesting to hear all the points of view As an update, have arranged to meet couples last two weekends,and no shows both times. One at a bar the other at swingers club,however the club no show ended in us having a fantastic night,meeting two single girls and an amazing foursome,so it's clubs all the way for us
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Quoting 'alwaysfun000' Thanks for all your comments, interesting to hear all the points of view As an update, have arranged to meet couples last two weekends,and no shows both times. One at a bar the other at swingers club,however the club no show ended in us having a fantastic night,meeting two single girls and an amazing foursome,so it's clubs all the way for us They were most probably not a couple, but rather a lone male posing as a couple . It happens a lot.
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MysteryMr
7 years ago
How about arranging to meet at a bar first and the backup plan is to go to a swingers club.If everyone clicks at the bar suggest they join you at the club, and if it's a flop still go to the club yourselves. Avoids all the issues people have raised and ensures a great night for you guys.
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
there is no right or wrong ,not one mould fits all ,it all comes down to personal preference of what your your ok with , or in other words horses for courses ,sometimes you just need to go with what feel is good for you at the time ,for the record we have struck out 3 from 3 meet ups no wonder we don't do them and one i was sucked into going to 1 even after i said mrs b. couldn't make it , and then to hear back ,i was suspected of being a single stalky guy ,wtf,there loss ,nope meetups are not a thing for us unless we have previously met in person somewhere or we're going to a club ,party or event anyway mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yes. Totally agree with everything you said - Posted from rhpmobile
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nzmaori
7 years ago
I have never been to one but me n my partner have talked about it and that sounds like a good way to start.
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Sensual011
7 years ago
Oh Yes as we are new to the scene and soft swingers we love the club's as we can just watch and get involved if we wish - Posted from rhpmobile
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hotcouple98
7 years ago
We've been once only and found the club had a seedy look to it and didnt enjoy it because of it. The owners were friendly and great plus some nice people but in general the decor inside and out of the place gave off a loud in your face brothel vibe. Wrecked it for us. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
We arranged to meet a couple to to a club with on a theme night, doctors and nurses party. Met them for drinks prior and went into the club together. Unfortunately it didnt work out with that particular couple but we met another couple who we are now good friends with.
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