F56
Flaccid Sex
April 14 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
had a few customers tell me that they get the same reaction when using condoms. It is like an instant turn off, even the thought of using them. They realise for the sake of safe sex, they need to use them but just can't bar up knowing they have to. It is a mental barrier that is their problem not from something you are doing. You can get female condoms, maybe you should try that instead of him having to put one on, you can insert them. I am not sure if this will create the same issue or not but it may be worth a shot.
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RHP User
11 years ago
No it isn't always like that, but I have come across this as well. It might depend on the guys age, maybe he has already come a few times that day already, or maybe he isn't totally comfortable with the situation? I was at a bi-orgy not long ago and my girlfriend noticed that ALL the men, and I mean 30 men maybe at all different ages........... were all walking around constantly stroking their peckers. I will be interested to hear how the men answer your question.
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captainkaos
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I was at a bi-orgy not long ago and my girlfriend noticed that ALL the men, and I mean 30 men maybe at all different ages........... were all walking around constantly stroking their peckers. I will be interested to hear how the men answer your question. That's only because it feels so good Meeka. lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sometimes the condom was the reason (happy to go ultra thin, but otherwise: tough), sometimes it was alcohol. If anyone gives you flak for this this topic by the way, I think they have issues.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have noticed that men often don't get totally hard with a strapon in their arse.
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RHP User
11 years ago
However I think if you pop a finger in their butt and massage their prostrate that should stiffen their John Thomas quite nicely.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Alcohol has been the cause at times. At other times, performance anxiety has been at play. I always think it must be much more difficult (embarassing, frustrating etc) for the man than it is for me. Imagine being under that much scrutiny for something that's so related (by society) to 'being a man'. I always really feel for the man in these situations. It also reminds me that 'soft' sex (a'la Tantra, Taoism etc) is a great way to create a deeper connection and intimacy. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
As stated by the ladies ...Alcohol,condoms.age and stage fright can all be individual causes , add them all together and it can end up to a very floppy situation . op you don't say if it's with just one guy or something that you have across on other occasions In group situations ...with out some sort of stimulation ( maybe not for everyone ) things are going to soften up somewhat and most guys i think would like to be showing a little more than a floppy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey meeks would you like to try the strapon theory ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have experienced or dealt with at work for guys not getting it up or keeping it up are... tiredness, performance anxiety, condoms, alcohol, drugs and medical issues usually related to age and prostate cancer treatment and after effects. I have recommended the use of a cock pump and cock ring for some of them, especially for the latter. Drug and alcohol users usually want more drugs to counteract the other drugs which I never recommend but that is the mentality of those people, they want a quick fix and aren't willing to sacrifice their social lives for the sake of their sex lives. Tiredness of course speaks for itself and performance anxiety and reaction to condom use are mental. I can't say that I have ever heard a man complain that he can't get it up from lack of attraction, maybe the guys can clarify if that is a reason that sometimes inhibits their performance ability. I am assuming it does but like I said, I have never heard a man say it and some have even said that even though they weren't attracted, they have gone ahead because they were there anyway whereas some have said they just didn't go through with it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'selcouth'op you don't say if it's with just one guy or something that you have across on other occasions In group situations ...with out some sort of stimulation ( maybe not for everyone ) things are going to soften up somewhat and most guys i think would like to be showing a little more than a floppy I have noticed this in quite a lot of situations with different men. (not all with me)They don't appear to be able to achieve a full hard on, so to speak.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' had a few customers tell me that they get the same reaction when using condoms. I find that a very unusual turn of phrase for swingersBe a bit more like a prostitute....clientJust made swinging sound rather sleazy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' However I think if you pop a finger in their butt and massage their prostrate that should stiffen their John Thomas quite nicely. Meeka if a man got enjoyment out of my nails it would scratching his back.It certainly wouldn't be from me inserting a finger up his butt... he would get more than he bargained forI have very long porcelain nails....say no more! LOL
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Nope. Not here. If I had to apply my own experiences to the opposite effect, just to provide an answer, I'd have to say they either had health issues, or habitual issues related to NOT being present in the moment. Most guys watch way too much porn, jerking away and effectively training themselves to be an "observer" of sex and their physiological response to it..... instead of a participant. So the moment they're required to step up to the plate, their trained response overrides the expected one. Step away from the internet, guys! Real women are much better!!! :-) DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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yankmychain56
11 years ago
I have real trouble using them as is seems to kill the sensation for me, so if a lady is not comfortable with no condom, I have to content myself with sucking her clit until she cums....or a nice 69:)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Leanne6825' Quoting 'ralf74' had a few customers tell me that they get the same reaction when using condoms. I find that a very unusual turn of phrase for swingersBe a bit more like a prostitute....clientJust made swinging sound rather sleazyBecause swinging isn't sleazy? Come Leanne wake up and smell the coffee. Hate to burst your bubble. LOL. I see you have started a thread about house parties..... which in my experience are always sleazy, in a good way. Beside what is wrong about a sex worker and her client? I assume Ralf is talking about customers in a professional sense, maybe she is a sex worker or maybe she works in the medical profession, you don't know,.
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RHP User
11 years ago
reading Ralfs posts,my understanding is that she works in an Adult shop xx Q
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RHP User
11 years ago
From a man's perspective we know condoms are required but have you ladies ever thought this hinders a mans ability to perform. Your most sensitive parts are always exposed to stimulation whilst ours have to be covered with the equivalent of a car Tyre reducing our feeling to almost zero. So in a swinging situation with all its performance related demands from you ladies wanting us to maintain an erection we rely more on mental stimulation rather than physical. Yes alcohol has an effect if too much is consumed and some guys resort to it to fend off premature ejaculation or social anxiety related to performing in a group/ new partner etc. So in answer to your question about whether it's you or something you have/haven't done its hardly your fault. But some ladies need to be aware that, like you ladies, men too have issues relating to how you view us physically, whether we're doing what you like, are we lasting long enough, making sure you cum first etc all the while trying to stop the droop from happening. You said that this wasn't a problem with your ex because you went bareback. That says a lot. But in this lifestyle condoms are insisted on. Without getting into trouble with the safe sex brigade I have wondered why some insist adamantly on the wearing of condoms for penetration but don't exercise the same caution orally. Surely if its too contaminated to go in your pussy it should be the same for your mouth. Just a thought.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Leanne6825' Quoting 'ralf74' had a few customers tell me that they get the same reaction when using condoms. I find that a very unusual turn of phrase for swingersBe a bit more like a prostitute....clientJust made swinging sound rather sleazyBecause swinging isn't sleazy? Come Leanne wake up and smell the coffee. Hate to burst your bubble. LOL. I see you have started a thread about house parties..... which in my experience are always sleazy, in a good way. Beside what is wrong about a sex worker and her client? I assume Ralf is talking about customers in a professional sense, maybe she is a sex worker or maybe she works in the medical profession, you don't know,. I know how easy it is to offend/upset people on here so I withdraw my comment and apologize.When re-reading my post I realized unless you hear the spoken word you may not get my meaning.so sorry RALF74
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Harrisson68' Hey meeks would you like to try the strapon theory ? - Posted from rhpmobile Good question
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' reading Ralfs posts,my understanding is that she works in an Adult shop xx Q for clearing that up xo No, I haven't branched out into prostitution just yet :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Harrisson68' Hey meeks would you like to try the strapon theory ? - Posted from rhpmobile oh I have.... I have.
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RHP User
11 years ago
He's just not that into you ... GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Once you break the moment to put a condom on, you're breaking their mood. As DG said, it's a clear indicator they're not in the moment, but it's definitely not what you're doing. Refocus their attention to what they're about to enjoy, and it should alleviate things a little. That'll be $50 :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Harrisson68' Hey meeks would you like to try the strapon theory ? - Posted from rhpmobile oh I have.... I have. And what about the finger ??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everyones different. Age, nerves, whisky dick, health issues and why the guy is having sex. I only use protection so im used to it, and am able to keep it up. A once I did go down early, but realized it was the reason why I having sex. Not because I wanted to, was just because I could and wasnt actually attracted to the lady and I wasnt into it. Lesson learnt. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't you work in an Adult Store? I believe customers meant just that, ladies. (And then I see Q just wrote that.)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ralf.
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
Totally agree with Mister Naughty Embraces. To add to that, my generation as youths never had to worry about using them.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'll use an example with me and an ex. I'd meet her after a stressful day and making out with her would bar me up, then during oral I'd go flaccid because I wasn't having a reaction to certain things she was doing. She'd bite or graze a bit and then I'd harden right up again. Then in sex you're loving it you're hard and then things just pop in your mind or she won't change from missionary and it becomes a downer in your head and you go a bit flacid. Spank her ass a few times or hear her moan and you're back. Then there were times where I wasnt tired and all my energy was for her that I'd cum and still be barred up to go right again. I think its how each person feels in the monent, their day, where their heads at, what they feel like sexually and so on. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
In my experience, having had issues a couple of times, it is all down to performance anxiety. Getting the condom on breaks the momentum, and it seems to be at that point things go down - the previous kissing, touching and oral both ways are typically rock hard. Also there seems to be an expection that you can perform like a porn star the first time with new partners. Also in a same room situation there other distractions. It is very embarrassing for sure, but I've found that being honest about what's happening, relaxing a bit and slowing down helps and a round two, fully functional, is in order. I've also found that once it happens once, it plays on your mind and distracts you the next time you meet a new couple !! Self fulfilling prophecy. That's no good at all. Doesn't happen every time though, I think it depends on the people and the situation though. However, once I have a good relationship with the ladies in question it is not an issue. Me IAT - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That was supposed to be signed off 'Mr IAT' - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Don't you work in an Adult Store? I believe customers meant just that, ladies. (And then I see Q just wrote that.) Thanks Meander. I can see where the confusion was, haha.
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RHP User
11 years ago
A neat trick that every Woman should know is how to put a condom on with her mouth ;) GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MisterGreen' He's just not that into you ... Oh he was into me all right.I think the condom killed the moment. Tiredness, lateness of night etc.He was right to go once re-stimulation occurred.But the wanking part was my question???? Do all men do it to keep their erection in swingers circuits?
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RHP User
11 years ago
A guy I know just taught me that trick..... Although we did work out that it is best with a flavoured condom.......
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madotara69
11 years ago
what is the flavour of the day bigmamma? The other end of the spectrum to complete the circle, Sometimes a good whack with a cold teaspoon right on the head of the old feller will tame him for a little while.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think it could be a common issue with condom use. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Both with guys i've been with and others at clubs etc - seems to be a fairly common thing to do Wren
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' A guy I know just taught me that trick..... Although we did work out that it is best with a flavoured condom....... I have heard flavoured condoms are intended for oral sex only and that they can upset the Ph of the vaginaI don't have problem with condoms I only get a bit flaccid after the third or fourth fuck, if I can get hard enough for penetration then I continue to get harder once inside.Regarding the trick of putting them on with your mouth, that is so sexy!The flavour and odour of a condom are critical to me as I like to go down there after intercourse to get in the mood again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
in that scenario i'd say more than likely alcohol and stage fright. BUT me personally I definitely prefer not wearing a condom ( I DO however in the interests of safe sex, don't lynch me and then burn me at the stake) but no matter how thin the latex is I experience a loss of sensation as do most if not all guys so it isn't as enjoyable and the mechanics of putting one on in the heat of the moment can be a buzzkill at times. bit of a tactical pause when everyone is ready and rocking to go, loses the sexual momentum a bit so that can have an effect.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If i'm not overly attracted to someone, it can be harder to maintain the erection, but it's also harder if i'm tired, have already cum a few times, it's just gone on too long without anything happening, it's cold, something destroys the mood (like when you watch porn and they cut to a close up of the dude's face as he blows... wtf?), and yes, I find some condoms will pretty much kill my erection. I ALWAYS supply my own, because if a woman has condoms that give me the droop, it's not going to end well for anyone. Hell, that's just me. This guy may have just as many completely different reasons. But I doubt he'd be there if you were the problem.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have that problem I can be hard as concrete but once I put a condom on I loose my hard on it does come back but at first it goes down I'm all for safe sex but for some reason it just happens I think my personal reason I like the feel of a wet pussy wrapped around my naked dick and once I put one on I can't feel it anymore - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have experienced this a fair bit , even with a cock ring and aside from condoms have never had a performance issue . From my perspective , they break the mood , the condoms generally are hard to get on and stop the blood flow , they also prevent room to regrow .Sensations also have suddenly dramatically decreased (as it is usually after a blowjob) Persist if it isn't too flaccid and I am sure things will go back to their normal size once inside .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Never had an issue. I prefer condoms for 1: safe sex and 2: makes me last longer. I also don't go soft after blow either, I stay hard as concrete. Yes there is a loss or feeling/sensitivity, but I thrive on the sounds and body language of the lady I'm with. To me it's about pleasing her :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am a 25yr old male, and I bar up at the drop of a hat. With no condom on I find it more difficult due to sensitivity. It just depends on the lady your with. If she is tight then its usually feeling good enough to keep it up. If she is super wet and loose, then you cant feel anything with a rubber. All it feels like is you bashing the end of your knob again a wall. With no condom tho its never an issue. The feeling is immense and its rock hard till I blow and then good to go again 5 mins later. But in the sense of being in a group, I can see it being a stimulation issue. If I barred up and I didn't touch it and got no action for 10-15 mins ... its gonna go down. But the moment a female pays me some attention its back up like big ben and is good to go again until its time to make it rain. This is all just my point of view. Lack of sensitivity through a condom / loose box. And then stimulation in a large group situation.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not sure if thats normal what is? But if that what it takes well.. But If we are blue blooded males and are man anough the admit when things dont go to plan all the better Worring about lack of performance to piss etc etc and what she will think makes it worst Sometimes it doesnt work... I could say not all woman cum and why do some fake that..for our egos??? Not sure thats a whole different discussion for another time Its a mind thing alright if your turned on and realy desire the sexy woman with you..well you will stay hard . As soon as the thought enters your head you dont like something eg condoms youll loose concentration on her and what matters..your moment together whether a couple in love or fun friends playing But hay we have more than one appendage...tuffen up that tongue and use ya imagimation and you will soon see things will be on the up hehehe For the record I dont like condoms either hate then ..nothing better in life than the feeling of her around you and the look in her eye..wow im making myself horney lol see all in the head It not your fault leanne your gorgeous no doubt
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hate 'em. Would prefer to give it a miss than wear one. That's the main reason I watch while my partner plays. But then, I have been spoiled through my life with 'getting plenty', so really don't mind watching.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps it's just me,perhaps I'm getting older,but at times I'm "toey as a roman sandal" other times I'm pretty happy just chilling and enjoying great company. I think it's all where your head is at the time....maybe I should say where your mind is!! I'm all for condoms,but they can be a pain if they are the wrong fit, but if I'm in the zone they are not an issue. I'd imagine there would be a lot of performance expectations on a newcomer at a swingers group,another issue I guess. Interestingly,after I swim at my local beach and take a shower and get changed in the dressing rooms, I see most guys wander around starkers and chatting to each other,some insist on standing on the seats while dressing to keep off the wet floor....well,that's what I hope they do it for! It's pretty hard to have a conversation with a guy who's dick is at my eye level....the other day one guys girlfriend threatened to come in and collect her boyfriend if he didn't hurry up...these guys scrambled for their gear with fear in their eyes....what is that? They strut about in front of their mates and get all shy in front of a good looking girl? I bet these guys would be Mr Floppys under pressure!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'The_Stig_2014' Being a Man I realise that SAFE SEX is always based on the "MAN". Guys get the condoms, women childbirth. Wanna swap?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I find condoms a necessary but inconvenient interruption. I'm a bit of a shy fella at times, so not likely to start wanking to stay up (unless it's something she wants to see) and have sometimes wished there was some kind of stimulation happening while the fidgeting around with the rubber was going on. If softening has occurred, it hasn't taken me long to get the mood back on, but it's better not to loose the mood in the 1st place. Ladies can I suggest playing with your fellas balls, stroking his cock, sucking his nipples or even very passionate kissing so that the erotic intensity is not broken with the logistics. Another option is to park your pussy on his face (that's a BIG YES from me) and put the condom on for him. Win, Win I reckon.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have you seen those female condoms... I am sure you would feel less plus the lo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have you seen those female condoms... I am sure you would feel less plus the look of them would give anyone the droop. Feel like thrusting and then blowing you load into a thick plastic bag??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good point,we get the better deal there! Sort of like Pap smear vs prostrate check....guys get out lighter there as well...Don't think those female condoms are much fun either...sound like a plastic drop sheet you use for painting......suddenly condoms seems pretty good!
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RHP User
11 years ago
All this talk about age and hardly any of you ladies like us younger guys....alcohol, condoms whatever, should stay hard for hours
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RHP User
11 years ago
I asked a female sexual Heath nurse about them once... Well, she was damn hot 😈 She just laughed and produced one... Giggling "Here, what do you think of that" My reply "Not much..." Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would've asked for a demonstration on fitting ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
"no."
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