F63
Friends
February 01 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
12 years ago
In fact one of my best friends and male...we constantly talk and exchange dating stories and seek each other for advice..We are just that...FRIENDS - it will never go further than that. The respect is for each other is very honerable.If you are seeing this guy and having sex with him that's different to being friends - because hesaid he respects his best friends does not mean he doesn't respect you..Just ask him where you stand - that way you'll find the answers what you are looking for.And of course it's Ok for you to have some sort of jealously or resentment towards his best friend being a female..The main key is communication - if you have that then your set. Hope you find your answers.SUPERFOX
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Of course not.... my oldest friend is male and we have been mates since i was 16.... there has never been anything more to it than a close friendship built on mutual respect. His wife calls me 'the girlfiriend', his kids call me 'Aunty Sass'. I guess because of our friendship starting at such a young age, I dont understand peoples fears when their partners have friends of the opposite sex. Maybe you were feeling a little vulnerable at the time... but I honestly wouldnt read anything into it - he's talking about a platonic relationship and said he has respect for his friend, ie: he wouldn't make a move... Platonic friendships and sexual relationships are two different things. You asked him if they'd had sex and he answered honestly. But you have to remember you asked about a friendship.... not the relationship you are having with him. If you are unsure about his feelings then i guess you're gonna have to bite the bullet and ask.... Good luck
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Who I'm very close to.I've had sex with a few of them. That's how we worked out we should be platonic ~obviously~Would I shag them given the chance? Probably not. But if we were both in the right mood, maybe. This is precisely because I respect and trust them. But given our lack of sexual chemistry sex is not very likely.I have a saying that covers this (and other things).."Why would I restrict my self by using the word NEVER"?It's yours for free...
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I have a number of great male Friends. Sadly though, one I met when we were 17. We shared stories of our great loves and lost loves. The highs and lows of many events. He was my ex husbands best mate, but as my ex was regularly away, his mate and I became the friends and it was us that kept their friendship going. Unfortunately though his second wife became very jealous when I left my husband. She told him not to see me again, because I was now single and couldn't be trusted ! I was devastated and really disappointed in her and ultimately him for following her lead (though I do understand at the same time). At no time in our 25 year old friendship had we EVER had sex.. we never even kissed!... We were just friends. We had a special and platonic relationship that was not ever going to be sexual.I really think women do themselves a wrong when they do what this girl did. I was a trusted confidante .. I helped him walk the maze of his relationship, put a female slant on their arguments, helped him choose pressys and all sorts of things for her. I was in fact a woman she could trust with her man. I am still hurt about this today... He was my safe man and a wonderful friend. My ex husband also has strong female friendships .. I encouraged it all throughout our marriage.With a new partner ... I would hope he has a great friendship with a woman. Sassy x
-
RHP User
12 years ago
it's totally possible for two people of the opposite sex to be totally platonic, but some woman hate it and will always be jealous.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Most of my closest friends are male. One of my best friends is not only male, but hetero and in an open relationship - we even go to the nude beaches together sometimes, and talk about everything we both get up to and indulge in horrendous innuendo. But I can't see us ever having sex - it would be weird, and probably ruin the complete openness we enjoy with each other. Having said that, I think your fella could have put it a slightly better way! Possibly what he meant was he respects the FRIENDSHIP too much to sleep with her - that's how I feel about my male friends. MsKinkster x
-
RHP User
12 years ago
My best friend is a guy. He is the only guy I have told EVERYTHING to (and he doesn't judge) and I feel confident in saying/asking him anything. We've known each other for well over 7 years and in that time it was purely platonic even though we did discuss sex a lot and say how hot it would be if we did get it on. We've now decided that as he's a guy and I am a lady, we may as well do the wild thing.... and we have and it is HOT! Yes I believe a guy and girl can be friends without having sex.
-
erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'sassyme' Unfortunately though his second wife became very jealous when I left my husband. She told him not to see me again, because I was now single and couldn't be trusted ! I was devastated and really disappointed in her and ultimately him for following her lead (though I do understand at the same time). At no time in our 25 year old friendship had we EVER had sex.. we never even kissed!... We were just friends. We had a special and platonic relationship that was not ever going to be sexual. I really think women do themselves a wrong when they do what this girl did. I was a trusted confidante I am still hurt about this today... He was my safe man and a wonderful friend. Sassy I too had the same, very close female friend through work for many years, helped her learn things in the "man's" job role she was doing and then when my wife came along I was told in no uncertain terms to end the friendship and not speak to her again.We also never had sex in our 5+ year friendship. I lost a great friend and she left the company as a result. Both women & men need to realise that there can be pure friendships with opposite-sex friends where no sex is involved...why don't they think that we have sex with our same-sex friends in this day and age too ?ET xox
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I have a few male friends whom are gay, love them, would I have sex with them? He'll no! I do not have any male friends :(... Too hard, one always seems to want more than the other.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
i cant imagine having a 'woman friend' while in a relationship...... i just dont think its appropriate, and besides, what sort of fool would i be, as a man, if i allowed a non sexual relationship with one woman, impinge upon a sexual/romantic relationship with another...nah, I'm with you OP....i'd be upset too if it were my gal, and she had a 'bestie' who was male.... i'd be questioning where i stood, and whether she respected me and my needs as well.... he should get serious and put you first.
-
Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Miss redflower.....have you had past experiences that have left you feeling that trust is something you have trouble offering?DG
-
RHP User
12 years ago
My best friend is female. she also happens to be my wife :) Most of my other really good friends are also female. Have I had sex with them - some, but not others. Would I have sex with them? (and only as part of an intimate occasion along with Mrs SinS) - hell yes, if it felt right at the time. Our friendship initially came about through an attraction, whether it was physical or mental, both of which are turn-ons. Have I had opportunities to in the past that I have turned down out of respect for them, and fearing it might "change" the friendship at the time? Yes.Would I have sex with them now if, in doing so, it upset Mrs Sins? Categorically NOI guess it's about trust and self control, and in seeing the "bigger picture", but if the friendship came about before the relationship, is it fair to ask them to end the friendship? In my opinion, no.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
It is good to know I am not the only one who never sleeps with their friends. The respect he most probably means is that he is too close with his friend and he cannot offer her what she wants in terms of a relationship. Yes, not all women want NSA sex. I think that he does not mean to say he does not respect you, it is just the dynamics are different and he respects her too much to break that bond or trust between them as friends only. It also means that he might respect you for not cheating behind your back. I really don't know your partner so I'll leave it at that. The problem with sex and friendship is the problem of the breakup. Does that mean the friendship ends as well as the sex? I would not want to jeopardise a friendship just for sex. It is not worth it. Yes, Oscar Wilde did write that men can never be friends with women. However, in this case I do have to disagree with him.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
The way it was said by your man, although it sounds bad? I think he may have meant that he respects and values the friendship with this female too much to sleep with her and possibly ruin that friendship? As usually once that bridge is crossed you can rarely go back. Don't take it that he therefore doesn't respect you because you have been intimate together. Sometimes when men open their mouth they inadvertently eat their foot.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Fully agree with SuperFox... I've been on the mans side of this... most of my friends are female (don't ask why, I don't know) and it has caused friction with past flames... there is no way we can put it that doesn't sound wrong, but Foxy has the right of it. Quoting 'SuperFox'In fact one of my best friends and male...we constantly talk and exchange dating stories and seek each other for advice..We are just that...FRIENDS - it will never go further than that. The respect is for each other is very honerable.If you are seeing this guy and having sex with him that's different to being friends - because hesaid he respects his best friends does not mean he doesn't respect you..Just ask him where you stand - that way you'll find the answers what you are looking for.And of course it's Ok for you to have some sort of jealously or resentment towards his best friend being a female..The main key is communication - if you have that then your set. Hope you find your answers.SUPERFOX
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I totally think that men and woman can be friends and not cross that line. However..... The past 2 men ive been interested in have had female best friends.... The first one, He ended up with his 'best friend'. I suspected all along it would probably turn our that way. And even tho I am super happy for them, I wish I didnt have to be involved in the dance. Being honest with yourself goes along way. And the second guy..... well his best friend is an evil troll. Super possesive, trashes me whenever she can and is just super jealous. All while never having met me. So yes, men and women can be just friends.... But, bitches be crazy!!! lol
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' i cant imagine having a 'woman friend' while in a relationship...... i just dont think its appropriate, and besides, what sort of fool would i be, as a man, if i allowed a non sexual relationship with one woman, impinge upon a sexual/romantic relationship with another...nah, I'm with you OP....i'd be upset too if it were my gal, and she had a 'bestie' who was male.... i'd be questioning where i stood, and whether she respected me and my needs as well.... he should get serious and put you first. This almost feels like a tongue in cheek post... Assuming that it's not, I can understand wanting for the relationship to grow so that you become 'besties' with your partner... but to think that the minute a new relationship springs up, all the old friends need to be shovelled out doesn't make a lot of sense. The OP mentioned it was an early stage with this guy... hardly calls for a full recalibration if his circle of friends.I do agree that the turn of phrase "too much respect to sleep with her" is an odd, and perhaps stupid, one. I reakon its a platitude from someone trying to tell you what he thinks is safe, but getting it ballsed up.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Messolonghi' Quoting 'mikeandshel' i cant imagine having a 'woman friend' while in a relationship...... i just dont think its appropriate, and besides, what sort of fool would i be, as a man, if i allowed a non sexual relationship with one woman, impinge upon a sexual/romantic relationship with another...nah, I'm with you OP....i'd be upset too if it were my gal, and she had a 'bestie' who was male.... i'd be questioning where i stood, and whether she respected me and my needs as well.... he should get serious and put you first. This almost feels like a tongue in cheek post... Assuming that it's not, I can understand wanting for the relationship to grow so that you become 'besties' with your partner... but to think that the minute a new relationship springs up, all the old friends need to be shovelled out doesn't make a lot of sense. The OP mentioned it was an early stage with this guy... hardly calls for a full recalibration if his circle of friends. I do agree that the turn of phrase "too much respect to sleep with her" is an odd, and perhaps stupid, one. I reakon its a platitude from someone trying to tell you what he thinks is safe, but getting it ballsed up.absolutely 100% serious.... i had friends, but i didnt feel it appropriate to continue the friendships once i began an exclusive relationship with the woman who was to become my wife. it took time, so was a slow gradual thing, but i dont see how, in all reality, one can maintain a close (non sexual) friendship with one woman (or more) and tell another that you love her' and she's the 'only one'.....seems a little disingenuous to me.... i know that if the shoe were on the other foot, it would piss me off no end.....and i'd be asking why my gal needed the friendship of other men.... i'm a 'one woman' at a time kinda guy, always have been, and see no need for that to change at this late stage of my life. my friends dont define me, but my relationships with the ones i love, most certainly do....
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for clarifying, it's an interesting view.- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I have had a dear guy friend for 34 years, he was my best mate at school and still is a great friend. Never sexual just bets buddies. So it can be done. Leesa xxx
-
RHP User
12 years ago
He is tapping that!
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share