RHP

RHP User

M53

Funny/ inappropriate comments in the bedroom

April 19 2013

I recently spent a few days intoxicated, watching everything Monty Python. The next night I was with a friend of mine and, as I started kissing my way down her body, one of my favourite quotes popped in to me head and straight out of mouth. "I want a shubbery" in my best Knights who say NI voice. Funny/ inappropriate? And do you have any similar stories?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "I want a shrubbery" = Funny "Roger the shrubber" = probably inappropriate   Double entendre are quite common with my co-workers... especially the female ones with a wicked sense of humour.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    A shrubbery?I guess you cant help what pops into your head at times.... but that?!!!And you said... that?!!LOL So... to her I guess it wasn't funny or inappropriate.... a little weird maybe.Unless she was wearing the old school full George W DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I can't seem to get it out of my head. Am unsure really what it's true meaning is or if it made up?last weekend my best friend used it in a sentenceJust one of those had to be there words.and I love the word "ooga-boogaish" (meaning - confused over something)FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    laugh and make jokes in bed...men just love it...'specially when I laugh at the size of their dicks....''oh ho ho,call that nine inches''....they just love it ..yep

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ''oh ho ho,call that nine inches''   That's why scale rules were invented 1:100, 1:200   Ive never said it but I'm sure you could slip in the "I'm not the Messiah I'm just a naughty boy" when your partner scream Oh god!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Don't do that to the poor guy Freya. He has enough trouble trying to understand the metric system without you throwing in imperial measurements to confuse matters. Well, 9 can be read as 6 upside down. I wonder if a person standing up right with 6" can be considered 9" lying down? Girls, don't get all excited and message me. I don't have a 1/4 yard dick. FL71, I keep on having Angus Deayton's voice going in my head and Rowan Atkinson acting out from "Elementary Dating" when I go out on a date.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    cause every sperm is sacred.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    This is all yours ...- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Fridget one minute and debaucherous, man whore the next? I think you may be going through manopause??? Lol.

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    12 years ago

    I reckon laughter has a place in the bedroom.

  • BacioCouple

    BacioCouple

    12 years ago

    Especially at work....   Austin Powers - Schwwwwiiinnggggg (and others)   and just about anything from King Julian..... (those with kids will get that one).....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Your not the messiah.... Your a very naughty boy!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Your not the messiah.... Your a very naughty boy!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    At least you didn't tell her you were a very naughty boy...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Non-instant posting leads to repetition.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    one particular night after bedding down with a lady for the first time, straight after the sexing I started singing   I just had sex and it felt so good, she even let me put my penis inside her.   for those who don't know it, youtube it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Are you identical twins,?Beesknees and Bombshell ,two minds with but a single thought....a chivalrous Knight that goes NI is Funlover...twitter and bisted is an ugly look even for twins my dears.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's going straight on the Salacious songs forum!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What is and what means "I want a shubberySorry I have never heard this.HELP Please

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    "I want a shubbery"??? loland in an accent?? Nope... I've never said or heard anything similar

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'toohot_2handle' Quoting 'Freya77' Are you identical twins,?Beesknees and Bombshell ,two minds with but a single thought....a chivalrous Knight that goes NI is Funlover...twitter and bisted is an ugly look even for twins my dears. Not twins, but maybe just great minds that think alike My eyes must be playing tricks..was "Bombshell now "toohot 2handle" - All to OOGA BOOGISH to me?? This "Man Flu" must be effecting me - must turn off computer and walk away....FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' A shrubbery?I guess you cant help what pops into your head at times.... but that?!!!And you said... that?!!LOL So... to her I guess it wasn't funny or inappropriate.... a little weird maybe.Unless she was wearing the old school full George W DGFull George W....That is hilarious! Made me laugh.But, seriously... I think if I looked down and saw the full George W between my own legs I would be more frightened than amused. Which would never happen to me, unless, I just woke up from a long stay in a hospital coma.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'cold_ass_honky' one particular night after bedding down with a lady for the first time, straight after the sexing I started singing   I just had sex and it felt so good, she even let me put my penis inside her.   for those who don't know it, youtube i

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Your Just a Naughty Naughty Boy! Lol!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Then Oral Sex! Lol!

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    Miss DeepBlueTwo or so years back, I was with a woman of 24. Now, when the point of no turning back arrived, It turned out that this tall, slender, raven haired merchant banker lovely wore what appeared like a domesticated animal in her crotch.Given experiences, and in particular noting her age.... That did surprise me.It was a conscientious decision she made out of a personal preference... but touching her reminded me of shampooing a persian cat.lolDG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No I can't live up to your going down

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have a problem with earwigs. An earwig is the song you hear on the radio or in passing and 3 days later you are still singing it, humming it because it has become an earwig ie, Stuck in your head! Very hard to shake an earwig even if you don't particularly like the tune? Anyway....in the past I have always related lovers to a particular song. If I spent any significant time with a man sooner or later I would have a particular song playing in my head, (during sex), that seemed to fit the guy. One of my favourite earwigs was Kings Of Leon Sex on Fire (pretty much a given due to the title but the song did fit this man to a 'T'.) The funniest song was with a gentleman I knew since high school that I reconnected with years later. He was 'Funky Cold Medina' by Tone Loc. Has anyone tried doing it to 'Funky Cold Medina'? Very hard to keep a straight face. I mentioned it to a girlfriend one day and she said, "Why don't you change it by just trying to think of 'Wild Thing' by Tone Loc instead?" We both looked at each other for a second and then burst into fits of giggles while rolling on the ground. As 'Wild Thing' and 'Funky Cold Medina' sound almost exactly the same? Doh! Bloody Earwig! !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I wish I could be a man whore, then I could get paid to spend time with these lovely ladies..... And what about 'He is the messiah, I should know, I've followed a few.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm sitting here in a boring roomIt's just another rainy Sunday afternoonI'm wasting my time, I got nothing to doI'm hanging around, I'm waiting for youBut nothing ever happens and I wonderI'm driving around in my carI'm driving too fast, I'm driving too farI'd like to change my point of viewI feel so lonely, I'm waiting for youBut nothing ever happens and I wonderI wonder how, I wonder whyYesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue skyAnd all that I can see is just a yellow lemon treeI'm turning my head up and downI'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning aroundAnd all that I can see is just another lemon treeLet me know how long that song keeps on playing in your head :P -zu

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have a problem with the fact that you would think this let alone say it at such a time. Thou based on your postings lately this is just more proof to the childishness of some males. Is it possible that you are overcompensating for poor performance in the bedroom by trying to make a joke at an inappropriate time? I am quite sure that if a guy ever dared to say such a thing to me than it would be the last words we spoke. I would agree with a few others comments on what to call you at risk of a mob like retaliation. Poor form and even more so for posting it under the guise of entertainment!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You just snorted :p twice!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'zu7bcv' I'm sitting here in a boring roomIt's just another rainy Sunday afternoonI'm wasting my time, I got nothing to doI'm hanging around, I'm waiting for youBut nothing ever happens and I wonderI'm driving around in my carI'm driving too fast, I'm driving too farI'd like to change my point of viewI feel so lonely, I'm waiting for youBut nothing ever happens and I wonderI wonder how, I wonder whyYesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue skyAnd all that I can see is just a yellow lemon treeI'm turning my head up and downI'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning aroundAnd all that I can see is just another lemon treeLet me know how long that song keeps on playing in your head :P -zuZU, You are right. This tune would drive me up the wall.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'octopussy1' Is it possible that you are overcompensating for poor performance in the bedroom by trying to make a joke at an inappropriate time? I am quite sure that if a guy ever dared to say such a thing to me than it would be the last words we spoke. I would agree with a few others comments on what to call you at risk of a mob like retaliation. Poor form and even more so for posting it under the guise of entertainment! We have number four! Quads!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A bit over the top!! Having a laugh in the bedroom is a good thing. I don't understand people that always want it so serious all the time. :-/

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I was referring to the quads comment. It's a little OTT.

  • subgal_gc

    subgal_gc

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' A bit over the top!! Having a laugh in the bedroom is a good thing. I don't understand people that always want it so serious all the time. :-/ Love a good laugh in the bedroom, all at the right time of course...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I meant Octopussy's comment. I would never assume someone might be making jokes in the bedroom to cover up some inadequacies. Sex can be fun. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    lets go for quins....or maybe we are goin'for septo or more

  • jensta

    jensta

    12 years ago

    If I was Intimate with someone & suddenly said that to me It would ... be Over ... what a turn off :( Fun in the bedroom is one thing Trust me ... i'm very Playful For me ... Its all about my lover & I Not Monty Python ... So not Sexy! If that turns you on Good Luck with that ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Most inapproriate thing said in my bedroom? Last July: "But condoms are such a moodkiller!" He thought he'd be cumming. Instead he was going.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A woman's laugh is one of the sexiest sounds I ever hear, so by the time I am comfortable enough around a lady to take her to bed we have already explored each others sense of humour. Yes, my comment was pretty random but it was also in the bounds of the humour we have shared before..... 'T'is just a flesh wound'. ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There was four in the bed and the little one said roll over...roll over...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I was once told during sex that my pussy was so wet he could bake a pudding in there and it would come out nice and moist.... Never say pudding in the bedroom! And this same guy while i was giving him head said ohh i cant feel any teeth and repeated over and over, its like u dont have any teeth, its like u dont have any teeth.... He was not invited back!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My ex-wife suddenly came up one time with "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries". I thought we were going at it like rabbits. Not sure where the hamster came from. Maybe that is why she is now an ex

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Now I would have definitely bitten him then, that's probably what he wanted. Just a light graze Of your teeth the WHOLE way up his shaft. Hehe Actually would that feel good? ^_^

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Catchup62' ''oh ho ho,call that nine inches''   That's why scale rules were invented 1:100, 1:200   Ive never said it but I'm sure you could slip in the "I'm not the Messiah I'm just a naughty boy" when your partner scream Oh god! that made me laugh so hard!!!...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting '3s_a_party' I was once told during sex that my pussy was so wet he could bake a pudding in there and it would come out nice and moist.... Never say pudding in the bedroom! And this same guy while i was giving him head said ohh i cant feel any teeth and repeated over and over, its like u dont have any teeth, its like u dont have any teeth.... He was not invited back!- Posted from rhpmobile i trust you DO have teeth thoughf***ing funny!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My thanks for the scale.. LOL just figured out why my reverse parking is always out by 9"...FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Blessed are the cheese makers.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And remembered this thread. I'm still friends with the lady in question and like to exclaim 'NI' every now again when she's around. I did go a liitle far that night, I said somethng about hamsters and elderberries, but I still get a giggle when I remember her escalating reactions.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Always Look on the Bright Side of Life...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have the weirdest sense of humour so sex/intimacy without having a laugh and joke is just isn't the same. Obviously there is a time and place for the more serious/loving/sensual stuff but in general I'm always up for a laugh.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I know I DO have a sense of humour. Funlover, your original comment cracked me up so much I read through the whole thread, giggling at many of the comments people threw into the mix. I didn't think your comment was inappropriate. I appreciate a sense of humour in and out of the bedroom. And I want you to hand over all the lupins you got

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I can never use Monty Python with an RHP lady ever again. I'll have to buy all of "The Goodies" cd's now. Maybe "The Goons"?

  • him_and_me

    him_and_me

    11 years ago

    a bit of Python in the bedroom. x Me