Getting Started on RHP - Nervious

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  First up.... you're likely to get bashed about your marital status from some of the broken hearts... but you look to be the kind of broad shouldered bloke that can shrug 100kg, so I suppose you'll survive that.Secondly, you will meet people if you can attend events, but dont go there with any expectations... this eliminates the opportunity for disappointment, and means you will have a better chance of enjoying yourself, whether you shag yourself silly or not.Thirdly, find a way to get known.... the chat rooms, this forum.. events... Finally, I suggest you see a qualified psychologist to assist you in determining what you want to achieve with respect to your relationship, because the path you appear to have chosen, out of sexual frustration, is high on the list of reasons that women divorce men. Yet it sounds very much to me from what you have written that this is not what you want. Subconsciously, this might be exactly what you want ... so who knows? Only you do.Welcome to the sandpit that is this forum playground. :)Hugs Stalky

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  A full suit of Armour A big sword and says Gird your loins Nelly! Its national” married man bashing week hon”, boy did you pick the wrong time to turn up the heat.   Apart from that there are skanky hoes like me the bonk married men, good luck and let the Foursomes be with you! But   If your playing up behind your wife’s back might be a good thing to put your face in your private gallery as her mates may be on RHP and before you know it your nuts will be in a jar Things do get better in time, kids do change the dynamics of the sex but do not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Be discreet and practice safe sex always.   Be considerate of her needs and be a man and just keep supporting your family. The getting your dick wet is the easy part.   Looking after your family and wife is the measure of a man.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Mmm ok I’ll be the first person to say that people –partnered in any shape or form, who cheat on their partners (in my humble opinion) are people who avoid issues and look for an easy way out (just my experience) …however I also understand that there are reasons behind ones reason to cheat, although I do not condone them..…everyone has a story, so my opinion means little – we all have our line in the sand… ……, so please don’t think I’m judging you, I’m not……my issue is not with the physical act but the lies and sneaking around that goes with it and trust me that is what you will be reduced to..do you want to be known as a liar as well ??? and when do the lies stop ?? what else will you lie about ? …………I also believe in a level playing field..what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, in other words, have you manned up and told her what you want and need ? (I assume you have) but have you discussed all that’s happening or not happening between you ? have you given your wife the opportunity to respond to you and also given her the opportunity to play around as well ?????? or have you just decided to fulfill your own needs ??. Marriage is bloody hard work, harder even more when you have kids….but you know that’s what you took on ..on that magical day when you declared in public to all those people that mattered to you that this person standing next to you, was the one that you wanted to journey on life’s road with……go thru the ups and downs with, that’s what your vows stood for..if you didn’t believe in your vows, then why did you get married ??…at the moment you’re in a down….your problems as perceived are solveable..the thing is, do you wish to solve them together or apart..and if you’re going to play apart , are you prepared for the consequences of your actions if you are caught out ??? What example are you going to be to your children ?? More importantly, what are you going to do in years to come, say if r your partner succumb to illness – will you bail then as well ?? As for meeting people on here..some women will embrace you and others won’t touch you with a 10 ft pole…be prepared for rejection..but Im sure your needs will be meet in some shape or form……just for all the time that you will spend on browsing profiles, contacting, emailing, arranging meets etc etc…well if you invested that time with your wife and perhaps children, doing the things that you used to enjoy together, perhaps there could be a turnaround in your relationship ?, it’s just a thought Good luck…but remember this..there was a reason that Pandora kept her box closed !!!

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Lot's of great advice here for you already,and all I can add is that maybe you both need a break....time -out to reconnect ,find out what would make a difference to her ,sometimes the sexiest thing your partner can do is listen. Spend time together outside the bedroom having FUN,with or without the kids. Sometimes the proverbial grass on the other side aint as green.,but if you do decide to find a playmate be aware it can be very,very,complicated and whatever we might like to think emotions will be involved.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  HiI think it takes a lot of courage to open yourself up like this. My only contribution draws from the experience of a girlfriend of mine. Same kind of deal, she lost interest in sex as she was run ragged with her kids while her husband's libido never wavered. He chose to talk to her about getting his physical needs met elsewhere, while continuing to be a supportive husband and father. At first, she was outraged but within a week or so, she came to realise that he was going to run off and connect emotionally with someone else who could also meet his sexual needs. She decided not to risk it and now, he has casual encounters with rules agreed between themselves including not seeing the same person more than three times and the freedom to use, errr 'professional' services. She decided their emotional bond outweighed the physical and their deal was struck!It's now 18 months on. He no longer sees other people; her libido returned of its own free will and their marriage is strong and healthy.I guess my point is that communicating openly and honestly should be a real option for you. Words are a very powerful tool and used honestly, can open doors you thought were glued close. Of course, its by no means a done deal and just because it worked for my galpal, doesn't mean it would work for you.... Even if she's not receptive to the idea of you playing elsewhere, at least you can say you didn't deceive her (yet at least).Just my thoughts. Good luck xx

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Hi welcome,I would be idealistic, honest and back it up all the way- I didn't once and it is the only thing I regret,1) instead of trying to spice it up, candles, tingly lube, lingerie a weekend away when all she want to do is read because she is exhausted.....open up and tell her your issue, your concerns for the happiness of your marriage and what you have been thinking of doing- on the side. But can't break her trust.Include her as part of the solution making. Ask for her blessing and input. Approach it as a normal thing people in their situation do and with clear ground rules it can be positive for a relationship and that she is in fat meeting your needs and giving to you by giving her consent. You being honest makes you trustworthy to comply with the rules. Say that it can just as easily stop if she finds her libido and that you love being with her and are not bored with her and just need to substitute instead of harassing her for it when you understand where she is at sexually. Something tells me it wont take long! What is on someone else's plate always looks more appetising ;)Tell her you are trying to do the right thing and handle it as an adult and that your family and emotional connection to her is the most important things to you but that you have physical needs that need to be dealt with and you do not want to go behind her back, break her trust and disrespect your marriage.2) If she is furious, hurt, hard done by etc, then DON'T at this point do it anyway!!! She will be onto you. Instead give her time to settle and perhaps adjust to the idea and keep reassuring her.3)If she doesn't give her blessing then suggest separation as the only option you are left with as you do not want to be in an unhappy marriage for your family- you may just find that she reconsiders- show her the emotional conflict you are having and that you don't want to leave and need her.4) If you can't wait for her to consent or separate or keep your fidelity then I would not tell her. Be a stealthy fuck ninja and deal with the consequences. Telling the woman you love that loves you like no one else will ever that you broke her trust and her heart because you didn't want to be upfront and get her upset would have to be the most trivial excuse for a cardinal sin imaginable- she is your wife you owe her to deal with it together. Also be prepared for your own conflict and for your conscience to make your world as funless and miserable, lonely as what you never before conceived. JMOIMO you can be deceptive/bad husband or honest/admirableIf she does agree to it then let her pick woman you never know she may just find interest and her libido and start swinging with you ;)Cass xxx Good luck.

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  Just run dude, child support is cheap :)

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  RHP User

  13 years ago

  I think he did run...hasn't been here for weeks...good luck Rob x Hugs H

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