RHP

RHP User

F52

Ghosting

September 07 2016

Hi I did search for this topic but nothing came up so forgive me if this has been hashed over many times. I have a question about ghosting. I often find I receive some really appealing messages and am happy to have a bit of chat back and forth. Obviously, it usually gets to the point where face pics are swapped. If I see a picture of someone I don't find attractive, my immediate instinct is to ghost or block. I can't help help but feel it's less offensive than saying "Actually, you seem really nice but NAAAAAH!". I guess my question is, would you find it more offensive to have no more messages back or a final message that makes it really clear that we simply don't find you attractive. Which is worse for the ego???

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I would tell someone - thanks but you're not what I'm looking for, good luck. I think that's more polite if we've chatted. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    8 years ago

    For many times, I have been ghosted by men who contacted me. I don't like that kind of behaviour and I will certainly not ghost on anyone because I don't agree with such behaviour! Like they say, you treat other people the way you want to be treated. So, for me, it is rude to ghost on people, but sadly, not many people have the guts to speak up and they often opt for the easy way out. To me, giving the person I have been chatting to a clear answer is not about feeding their ego. It's about respecting the person and they deserve to know. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    It matters not to me if they don't respond at any time, as I'm not invested into someone that I've never met..... Disappointed ?? A little but it soon passes after I cock a leg and fart..... Is it courtesy to be honest??? Shit yeah, but how do you word "dayum......you got a face like bucket of smashed crabs!!!!" Without feeling like a cunt?? Even if you word it nicely like "sorry I gotta say I'm not attracted to you" I can handle that it's a hard thing to say so I don't assist in making them feel like shit by responding to ghosting in a negative way. Besides..... The next one may just find me incredibly fucking hot!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    8 years ago

    How I see ghosting, is it only happens when you have met a person and they suddenly disappear, move on like they were never in it. It's like an avoidance of a discomfortable situation. If that happens, move on. It's not you, it's them. Ms Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ghosting yes, I agree, it's less offensive. I do it and have it done to me, no offence taken, I'm 100% happy with that. How do we or they tell the other they're not attracted, worse after a face pic has been opened after the other pictures, then you find you're not attracted to their face, it's going to come across badly no matter how you try and say it. One of the reasons i initially showed my face, and also because of my age and looking for young playmates, if they see all the person straight up, they know what I look like and go from there. I've talked about this before, asked the same question, when you've seen their other pictures, very interested/attracted, then the face pic gets opened and it's all over. The face is so important with attraction, the face is character and gives you an idea of the person, otherwise it's just a body and let's face it, there's plenty of them around If there's no attraction, that's it, it's all over, we're best to move on or allow them to. Being polite won't change the outcome and with the risk of offending, best to leave well alone IMHO. Don't think any of us want to be taking one for the team

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    forgot to say that's not the only reason I ghost, lot of guys would be confused as to why I don't reply when messaging seems to be going fine. Recent example, and I don't care if he's reading this, was after we'd decided to hook up, phone number given to me, all good, or so I thought, then proceeded to tell me the order of events, how he liked to have the order of play, I get him off first, then while he's recovering, he would pleasure me. Yeah right, love to see the enthusiasm there So I did think about discussing, but there's no point. I like guys to be really horny when they go me, that dissipates after orgasm for them, for a while at least, so no, I like men who put the chick's pleasure before his own, and it always works for both parties. I'm easy to get off, it's not difficult, few minutes and I'm there, not like they have to wait for long. I've also heard that scenario before and they then get up and leave lol I don't do blow 'n go's

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    hogging sorry, but I just looked at a flirt and I'm blocked? He will be ghosted

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I ask for face pics pretty much straight away for that very reason and open my pg for them. That way we aren't wasting each others time in that respect. It's hard when someone just goes radio silent and you don't know why. Is it something in their personal life, something you've said, or just that a better offer came along? Having said that my first instinct is to ghost or block too 😕 I try be be upfront and kind, but sometimes if it's because they've been a dick - and block it is. I don't think there's an easy answer. A lot of ladies on here block or ghost because saying anything other than "When can I ride you?" often gets an abusive response from the man in question.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I understand everyone's points. I sometimes just find it hard to reject people outright. SoftandCurious, if they've been rude or arrogant, I have no problem just blocking straight off the bat. Sometimes I have guys get shitty with me if I send the "Thanks but no thanks" template after their initial message. I'm sorry - I'm not here to chat, if it's not going to happen, why waste your time or mine? "hey sexy, wat r u up to tonite?" also has me hovering over "Block" a lot, too.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    8 years ago

    I've done it and I've had it done to me. No excuse for it. Mostly I have lost interest or something they said didn't sit right with me. If I haven't seen face pics I wouldn't be communicating anyway.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    8 years ago

    When I am actively looking I have face pics and full body pics on display

  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    8 years ago

    My fragile ego couldn't handle being told outright I look like crap.... Just ignore me and I will get the message!!!! Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    If people actually had face pics available straight away. I understand that not everyone takes great pics, especially me. But it does give a bit of an indication as to whether you could be attracted to them or not. This is the online world and to cross over to real life there needs to be an attraction for me. It really sucks when you slip up and communicate with someone and then you see there pic and you just know it isn't going to happen. That may be shallow and harsh but too bad. I know what I like and what I don't. If I ghost it's usually because I really feel deceived by the what has been said/implied and what has turned out to be reality. I am not a rude or nasty person but this is the online world and that's just the way it is.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I only ghost or block if they are being rude or pushy. I ask for a face pic right away and won't continue to engage in chat until I have one then can do the sorry you aren't what I'm looking for I always feel bad but I think that is a good reason why releasing face pics right away is a good idea. It's one of the things I dislike about this process the most but I don't want to waste anyone's time - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Cq_cplPlay

    Cq_cplPlay

    8 years ago

    It's something that runs deep in me and i guess my up bringing. The old country manners!I believe in being upfront in your interests, however this doesnt mean being blunt or rude.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ghosting is something people do because they do not know how to handle the situation. I get it, respect, but don't like it. Maybe knowing how to handle it comes with time or experience, maybe it is just cultural. Not sure. But I'd rather face spoken truth than hidden lies (or guesses). So if I am at the other side of this "coin" I would be polite but avoid anything more than friendship. Just don't give any false hope. I don't get why not talk to people just because I don't wanna fuck them. Would you do it in a night club? If someone comes to talk to you and you think they doesn't look good enough, would you just "ghost" them? No! (I hope not) It is just that behind a computer screen it is easier. I just do what I would do if we met in "real life". But again, thats just me. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    A lot of people have copped abuse when they have politely rejected someone. With time and experience ghosting can be the safer way to go. Each situation is unique and only the people involved know how they want to handle it. Brozzie - you don't usually cop abuse in a nightclub when you smile and say no thanks.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ... I have face pics publicly available. Saves time and hassle if I'm not their type - no ghosting necessary. If I'm not keen once I've seen face pics of someone else I always just say so politely, rather than leave it hanging. There's plenty of people who will think they're hot - just not me. That way, they also know it's just a physical attraction thing. Not a comment on their intelligence, personality or preferences. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    8 years ago

    I think being polite works the majority of time in real life. I don't believe it always works in here. In my experience here rejection is a time for the abuse to start flowing, the name calling and insults to fly or the begging and pleading to begin. To be perfectly bluntly honest, if i ghost you I am just not that into you and I figure if guys ghost me they aren't into me. If we only exchange a random message here and there it's just a chit chat now and again and not replying is not ghosting in my book it's like a text conversation that lapses and then starts again, like an ongoing conversation that never really ends. I have many of these and I wouldn't classify it as ghosting.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    8 years ago

    Some people flat out deserve to be blocked or ghosted. We've a seen them.... rude or overly forward sexual FIRST messages, chronic dipshittery, social retardedness...... and sadly even after repetitive ghosting, they don't learn. Don't feel guilty for saying no, whether by means of saying 'thank you but it's going to be no from me"..... to a blunt blocking. It's always your choice - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Ragged good looks and rugged good looks are still good looks right?? :p

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    8 years ago

    I can communicate with ghosts... Tall

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Summersolstice' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' The OP was talking about chatting with someone who sounds appealing but whose face she does not find attractive. Would you ghost or block in that case? I have only one question then. Why are they talking?

  • aussian43

    aussian43

    8 years ago

    I would like some closure, instead of just being left hanging. But going by some of the stories I have seen on here, any negative response can trigger an attack, so I would understand ladies being reluctant to risk a confrontation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Some people flat out deserve to be blocked or ghosted. We've a seen them.... rude or overly forward sexual FIRST messages, chronic dipshittery, social retardedness...... and sadly even after repetitive ghosting, they don't learn. Don't feel guilty for saying no, whether by means of saying 'thank you but it's going to be no from me"..... to a blunt blocking. It's always your choice - Posted from rhpmobile The key point I picked out of your comment here was 'Don't feel guilty for saying no', no matter how you choose to do that. In my experience, some men try to make you feel guilty, some try weird tactics to get you to respond to a message, maybe asking a question that is confusing, anything just to get some kind of response, which i find annoying and creepy. I used to sometime reply and fall for it, experience has been a valuable help in avoiding things like that. Whether we ghost or say no politely, it's still no, and we shouldn't have to explain and say we're sorry. What are we sorry for, that they never had a face pic up to start with? If they're so ugly they hide their face until the very last second, we spend all this time trying to extract pictures from them, then find out they look like they ran into the back of a bus lol they should be saying sorry to us for wasting our time

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    My two bobs worth. Its just polite, I don't think anyone thinks they have universal appeal. A thanks but no thanks is just polite. It'd be my expectation that its grown ups here of RHP.