F38
Girls - doin it with the married guys
December 23 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
You need to go with your conscience on this one when you know they guy is married. Some married guys are in open relationships (of varying degrees) so if it's important to you, ask the hard questions. If they don't want to answer them ... NEXT! There's plenty more single and unattached guys who are just awesome. I've often thought about it when playing at the parties but, I really have no way of knowing. Meh ... Where do I draw the line? I won't knowingly go with the marrieds or attached. Hopefully my Spidey sense is attuned enough so I can tell who they are. There's enough lovely single men out there that are uncomplicated.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why not ask to speak with their wife/partner to see if they're legit? I follow the law of karma, do unto others etc, but as paint_me suggests, if you have been led to believe they are single, your conscience is clear. The karma is theirs. I'm not without empathy towards married folks' situations if they are doing extra curricular activities, there's a few threads on this topic recently that detail people's own stories in that regard, but I wish to keep myself clear particularly of deceptive people and practices. Not being judgemental, just my own personal boundaries upon myself.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' Where do I draw the line? I won't knowingly go with the marrieds or attached. Hopefully my Spidey sense is attuned enough so I can tell who they are. Same here. Happy to play with couples too. One time I was approached by a couple with her listed as attached, and him as "Ask me". I found out they both had other partners, which was an absolute no..One lover I'm seeing has a girlfriend. Our first time was as a threesome, but she decided to get out of the swingers' game for a while. She's happy for us to still see each other and do things she's not into, like going to a swingers club or having some bi MMF fun. I always confirm with her before meeting him though.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Sure, you have no responsibility to the guys partner.... but we've all seen those stories when it goes pear-shaped and the partner goes a stalkin'. Trust me when I say..... there are more single guys in here than you could ever shake a tit at. Be patient, be selective, and be sure. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
But if the partner knows about it and is cool with it, it's fine. I do check that the males are in fact single to the best of my knowledge before agreeing to meet. I would much prefer a single male to an attached male as there are no worries then. Couples I don't really go for all that much because I have a stable couple that I regularly play with (and have done for a long time so there are no issues there). The three of us are close and it just works well, I've played with both of them alone before. I've seen jealousy issues and crap between other couples though which can get pretty bad. It feels really bad to know that your presence has caused trouble (even though it's not your fault, it's the couple's lack of proper communication). Some people I know, have know issue with having sex with a cheating man, as it's the man that's doing the cheating, not themselves. I dunno, it just feels wrong to me but whatever floats your boat.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I know couples where the wife is happy for the husband to play away because they don't sync up sexually anymore but still have a real emotional bond. Likewise some wives like to know that other women find their man really attractive. Of course, there will be some who are unfortunately playing without permission. Like all sexual adventures, there are quite a range of possibilities and options. Hopefully the married men are honest about their relationship and whether they really should be embarking on non-marital encounters. I don't see it as wrong so long as there is honesty and respect between the various people affected.
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QLDtwo4fun
11 years ago
It becomes more than just sex for one of you. In the word of the song 'oh don't fall in love.'
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RHP User
11 years ago
If the wife knows I don't see a problem with it. If you are having a threesome... What's the harm. As for sex parties & clubs, I don't think about it. I don't ask people's names let alone if they are married. That's their problem, and I figure it's something I can't control. I am sure there are married men at the bi-sexual male parties I go to.. Absolutely. Maybe their wives know, and maybe they don't. As for meeting men one on one, and they are here without their partners knowledge or consent. That is an absolute no for me. Bad ju ju.
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RHP User
11 years ago
well where to start :) at the beginning of the end perhaps? I like I am sure many others on this site have suffered over the actions of an unfaithful partner. For me I am an advocate of doing no harm to my fellow woman is something I live by. My story is probably quite common....I found my husband of 10 years having sex with my best friend in my home. His and her arses did not touch the ground on their way out the door. I was completely clueless as to what had been going on. Then as everything unravelled, I found out he had never been faithful. It's a kick in the teeth to find out that the person you loved, has never had enough respect for you to be honest. Personally the humiliation, despair and loss of self esteem is something I would never wish on another human being, never mind knowingly play a part of causing such grief and anger if caught out. Is a shag worth ruining another woman's (or man's) life, and tearing her family apart? Is it worth her losing her family home? Is it worth her kids crying their eyes out? There are real life consequences to every action, make your choices with a thought to who it hurts. :) P.S Life is good now :) and as my girlfriends and I say "Ho's before Bro's" xx
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
When I first joined RHP many years ago as a single girl I met up with a guy for a weekend and played with him. It wasnt until months later when chatting to him again and trying to set up a second meet he admintted to me he was married. At first I didn't know how to take this and because I had already slept with him unknowing that he was married at the time and there wasn't much I could do as the deed was already done. I did feel guilty for a little while being 'that other woman' but as there was nothing I could do about the situation because he hadn't told me the truth straight from the start I got over it eventually. I did however turn him down when he offered me round two this time knowing he was married. When I was single I did try to avoid married guys as I didn't want to be involved in a messy situation but some married guys are very cleaver and sneaky! Honestly sometimes you can't even tell they are married as they hide it so well! My advice is to try and say away from the guy you know are truly married and going behind their partners backs as nothing good can ever come from someone who is this untruthful and deceitful. You also don't want his wife to come after you when she finds out. lol As for the married guys who are harder to detect well in this case there isn't much you can do except listen for warning bells that may inform you at some point that he is married. I know many ladies that would sleep with a married man and not have any problem with it. I suppose it just depends on if you can live with the guilt that you are walking on someone else's territory. In the end its your decision :) Taby xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been put in the same position here a few times with married men that have single or separated on their profile. I like to spend some more time getting to know them and whether by accident or they want me to know, surprise they turn out to be married and of course it is the wife's fault because she isn't interested in sex anymore...I find it awkward and not fair that they are not upfront at first, big waste of my time. It's your choice cutencurvy but there are a lot of nice single free guys around :). - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' You need to go with your conscience on this one when you know they guy is married. Some married guys are in open relationships (of varying degrees) so if it's important to you, ask the hard questions. If they don't want to answer them ... NEXT! There's plenty more single and unattached guys who are just awesome. I've often thought about it when playing at the parties but, I really have no way of knowing. Meh ... Where do I draw the line? I won't knowingly go with the marrieds or attached. Hopefully my Spidey sense is attuned enough so I can tell who they are. There's enough lovely single men out there that are uncomplicated.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I knowing slept with a married man I went to school with since grade 4 ... I sorta feel guilty - glad no kids in this marriage But OMFG it was great .. I keep thinking what made it so awesome ? - I knew it was wrong ? - how great it was actually was? - how long we have known each other (never spoke at school I was a few grades lower - we definatly knew who each other was) * all of the above - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I need to learn to check what I type lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Taby_Daring' When I first joined RHP many years ago as a single girl I met up with a guy for a weekend and played with him. It wasnt until months later when chatting to him again and trying to set up a second meet he admintted to me he was married. At first I didn't know how to take this and because I had already slept with him unknowing that he was married at the time and there wasn't much I could do as the deed was already done. I did feel guilty for a little while being 'that other woman' but as there was nothing I could do about the situation because he hadn't told me the truth straight from the start I got over it eventually. I did however turn him down when he offered me round two this time knowing he was married. When I was single I did try to avoid married guys as I didn't want to be involved in a messy situation but some married guys are very cleaver and sneaky! Honestly sometimes you can't even tell they are married as they hide it so well! My advice is to try and say away from the guy you know are truly married and going behind their partners backs as nothing good can ever come from someone who is this untruthful and deceitful. You also don't want his wife to come after you when she finds out. lol As for the married guys who are harder to detect well in this case there isn't much you can do except listen for warning bells that may inform you at some point that he is married. I know many ladies that would sleep with a married man and not have any problem with it. I suppose it just depends on if you can live with the guilt that you are walking on someone else's territory. In the end its your decision :) Taby xx its a conundrum my dearyour body tells you what you want, and them being married can often be an aphrodisiac fucking is human nature, and its great to be desired, so i'm of the opinion that you shouldn't let a 'human invention' like marriage get in the way
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RHP User
11 years ago
I hate it when people say "not your problem, therefore not your responsibility". If you are thinking of seeing a married man whom is going behind his Wife's and families back, please think about the lives you could potentially harm/ruin as a result of your decision. Yes, he will continue searching for someone - but at least your hands will be clean.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'slickz' I hate it when people say "not your problem, therefore not your responsibility". If you are thinking of seeing a married man whom is going behind his Wife's and families back, please think about the lives you could potentially harm/ruin as a result of your decision. Yes, he will continue searching for someone - but at least your hands will be clean. I hear what you're saying, but there are two sides to that coinpeople get married because its an institution they have been brought up on, not because its human nature, as sex ismarriage is all about the perceived prelude to 'security'....but the more open society becomes about sex, the more people who aren't open about their sexuality realize that what their body tells them is what they should follow
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RHP User
11 years ago
I even help her sometimes :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
... knowingly either. Felt that pain, couldn't do it to another human being.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
I went out to dinner last Friday night and met a fantastic couple! We got on so well and she n I clicked and she told me how she was once a receptionist/hire, fire, protector, assistant manager I suppose to a brothel in Orange! While working there a lot of clients were married men! One man in particular would pay up to $4000 once a month, to have a girl for 10hrs!! During these 10 hours, he only wanted sex for 1/2hr the remainder of the time was just to have company! He was happily married n had children, but lacked the communication he craved! Maybe that is why many men turn to rhp!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am in a sexless marriage, I have a boyfriend I adore and find so hot I want to 'do him' every minute of the day, I also have a female available for our FFM's and a guy for my MMF's. I guess you could say I'm a cheater! I would not want to sleep with a married or taken guy who had never done that before.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'slickz'I hate it when people say "not your problem, therefore not your responsibility". If you are thinking of seeing a married man whom is going behind his Wife's and families back, please think about the lives you could potentially harm/ruin as a result of your decision. Yes, he will continue searching for someone - but at least your hands will be clean.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why would you knowingly bother with the drama and BS involved? Not to mention the bad "karma" associated with it. Married or attached is a 10000000% no go for me. Been on the wrong end of that and it sucks the big one. Sometimes you're going to be deceived about a persons marital status and its on you to define your morals when you find out.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What about married men that have a couples profile but play along as well as together? Surely that's.not the same as cheating ..? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm in a long term relationship. My partner never initiates sex, has little interest and barely lasts 2mins. This only happened after our child was born. I have discussed how unhappy I am over and over for years and he makes no effort at all. If I come it's up to me and if I don't he wouldn't do anything to make sure I do. Everything else in our relationship is fine and I have no intention of splitting up with him just because the sex is terrible. I can't suggest being open because he is very jealous. I recently met someone else who is married. We catch up have sex /chat etc then go back to our families. I like the fact they are married because we both know exactly where we stand. He has cheated for years. It's nice to escape being a mum/my life for a few hours a week. Lots of people won't agree, but for me it works well.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its hard ive been separated for 2months i was with my wife for 4years (not going back to her) she had no sex drive never wanted sex it and never got wet it was really hard in the last year we had sex only 6-7times i wood make love kiss her touch her and try to get her in the mood and when we have sex she always ask to hurry up and she be a star fish Im he because i wanted to meet some who enjoys it ive miss that in the last 4years make love,kissing trying new things, enjoy it and not telling me to hurry up it may end up more than sex it maybe love i dont know, it hard
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RHP User
11 years ago
I hear you! I'm feeling the same as you. Been married for 15 years and he suddenly has no interest in sex. Us women have needs, the older we get, the hornier we get haha. I am lucky to have met 2 men which spoil me, I never thought I could feel this alive again!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Married/attached men why? They know what us women want and are discreet Win win situation
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nice to know there are other women in the same position as me. Im not some nasty horrible person but after 5 years of "sorting myself out" lol I just couldn't handle it anymore. Theres only so long a girl can play with her toys alone before getting pissed off and looking for more.For Eg. in summer I sleep in only a pair of shorts. Last night I went out into the dining room, sat on my partners lap facing him with my tits in his face. He looked around me to keep doing what he was doing on the laptop!!! I got the shits and went back to bed. All I want is some attention. And someone that doesn't come in 2 mins, roll over and go to sleep!And yes I hear you the older I get, the hornier i am!The person I met is just as bad as me so it works perfectly. I see it as if I'm not out going to dinner or the movies or in love with someone, that its just sex and nothing else that its different to an affair? Maybe I'm just kidding myself though.
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notsoinnocent20s
11 years ago
Whether married/attached/in a relationship I won't knowingly sleep with them. I don't mind couples if they are both there, but for some reason I'm even a bit uncomfortable with playing with a guy in a couple that plays on his own sometimes without her. Probably stems from the fact that I have bad experience with cheating. At the age of 13 I found my dad (who was married to my mum at the time) on a site like this. Further I've just gotten out of a three year relationship where cheating was a problem. I know how it feels to be the woman back at home wondering, and under no circumstances will I knowingly inflict that pain on another. Finally I just have no respect (something I need in all sexual encounters) for a cheater. I feel that if you need to look somewhere else (without her permission) than be honest about it: if you aren't sexually compatible then you need to grow a pair and be honest with her.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ohhhhh I so do understand where you are coming from, funny I fact it sounds like we are very alike haha.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I wonder if they are the ones having an affair or just feel that porn or a hand does it for them haha I'm sorry but that doesn't cut it with me. I'm over even trying these days, just rely on my toys and my 2 FWB buddies...
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RHP User
11 years ago
You can deal with the fact that a guy is married If you are looking for friendship or a long term thing then this may not be the best website for you RHP has been awesome for me and I am just glad that my husband is so understanding, because my interest can go up and down a lot Having had good sex with many married men including from RHP I totally recommend it. Usually it is good for them too IMO
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RHP User
11 years ago
There are possible downsides to both arguments. If you sleep with a married man who is cheating on their partner, you may end up with an angry spouse trying to blame you for their husbands indiscretion or if you're just looking for a single guy to use as a FWB, you may end up with a guy getting possessive and jealous if you want to see see someone else. Obviously, you may not end up in either of those scenarios, I'm just trying to point out that either could end badly. In the mean time though, just make sure you enjoy the sex you're having, no matter who you're having it with :) In my situation, I still have sex with my wife regularly, but we allow each other the freedom to see others too. It doesn't happen that often, but when it does, the third party knows that they are with someone who knows what they're doing and there won't be any nasty consequences or bunny boiler type scenarios. One thing I find frustrating on here is when ladies specify they want someone unattached but aren't looking for a relationship. Does that mean I shouldn't contact them as I'm in an open marriage, not cheating on my partner behind her back?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I think the line is about not pursuing someone who you know would be cheating. But if they choose you that's on their own head. Its really not the fault of the single person if an attached person chooses to cheat on their partner. Sure there are many reasons for it (which I am sympathetic too) but I'm kind of over the attitude that the woman particularly has to be the police for someone else's cheating. If its an open relationship or couple by agreement then thats fine (not cheating). Good luck, Jay
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RHP User
11 years ago
My new line is, if you're supposed to be monogamous with somebody then I'm not interested. I've had the confrontation with an angry partner and it wasn't fun. I'm just glad it was over the phone and not in person. Turns out the guy was spinning us both a line. Figures. The same goes for women. I've heard of many satisfying "discreet" relationships on the side for married peeps - I figure there's enough of them to help each other out :P
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Slow_at_first
11 years ago
Girls. I am staggered to hear that lack of interest from long term partners seems to be not uncommon. I cannot even begin to imagine not having desire for my wife. .I want her everyday if possible. I must be a sex addict. Lol. Who could condem someone who is not nurtured and made to feel desired at home. As I have written before here, the need to be desired is as important as the intimacy itself. Good luck to you and others in the same situation.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Then there's the 100% single father with full care (no I wldnt change that either) that's married to caring for his children?? Often or not gets confused as married ? Due to these cheating players that will say what people want to hear they make it so hard for those of us that are respectful, horny but no desire to enter a relationship... So fuk the single fathers is that cheating ? Sick of proving I'm single grrr
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RHP User
11 years ago
than a man sneaking around behind his wife and families backs just to get laid...even worse, not telling the person he is sleeping with that he is married - its a double betrayal/lie. But I guess when you are already a lying sneaky bastard, what's one more lie?!
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madferrret
11 years ago
Quoting 'Warning69' Then there's the 100% single father with full care (no I wldnt change that either) that's married to caring for his children?? Often or not gets confused as married ? Due to these cheating players that will say what people want to hear they make it so hard for those of us that are respectful, horny but no desire to enter a relationship... So fuk the single fathers is that cheating ? Sick of proving I'm single grrr single dads rock ............well as often as we can
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buszwack
11 years ago
do unto others as you would have done to u if you cpuld handle having your partner cheat on you then go for it otherwise i would stay away there are a thousand singles or interested couples on line and the worst thing is you may unwittingly become involved in real life tense family issues a friend slept with a married woman and 6ft 2 inch hubby found her phone and rang friend with various threats of physical violence etc and he finds out they have two kids and she sleeps around and really if all that crap is worth a root then you reap what you sow
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buszwack
11 years ago
if the person you have never met can't be honest with you from the start then i wouldn't want to go there as it is bound to end in disaster
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abcplus1
11 years ago
We have had a couple of partners that were married. The first was a one night thing that the husband knew about BEFOREHAND and was OK with it. The other was an ongoing thing for a few years where the husband didn't know exactly what was going on, just that something probably was and he didn't care. It wasn't our place to judge what they were doing, we were open and upfront from our side, they were making grown up choices. We are still friends with that second couple to this day.
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RHP User
11 years ago
All good questions re playing with married. While there is no simple answer I think to this question, in an ideal world the guy should be upfront and declare wether they are married or not. I am on here married yes, but declare in my profile that I am, plus I am not in a open marriage. Just my opinion!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Being a married man playing without partners consent I do understand that not all are comfortable wanting to meet or play with me and also sets me up for judgement and pot shots each time I stick my head over the top of the forum or profile searching trenches. I tell people up front and have married listed in my profile. I could say that I am single or unattached to arrange more meets but that pretence is too hard to keep up. It is then the call of the individuals I am in conversation with whether they contact me, reply to me or choose to meet me. I get it.....I understand it...some people aren't going to be comfortable playing with a married man where the wife/partner is unaware. But I also think the bottom line is that we are all free to make a choice and as everyone's situation is unique, most have us have our reasons for doing the things we do with in anything in life. The pros and cons of any decision are weighed up from the information available (sometimes that info can be just instinct or "gut feel") and we go with whatever we are comfortable with or whatever risk / outcome we are willing to accept. Sometimes my situation perfectly suits anothers requirements. One thing on here that has surprised me is the number of women on this site, who prefer to play with a married or attached man because of the lower chance of emotional involvement and just want a casual easy going type of thing without too many complications and crossovers into other aspects of their lives. A lot depends on where people are at in their lives and these things can change over time obviously. People's reasons are as varied as we are all individual. I have seen and spoken with both men and women who are in "committed" relationships but can barely acknowledge each other's existence whilst living under the same roof but still find the time and effort to deride or abuse the other, but then recoil in horror, shock, anger and hurt when their partner is seeking the unfulfilled aspects of their so called relationship elsewhere. I find that more difficult to get my head around.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cheaters are greedy and selfish and liars and also unhappy in love unappreciated or have no appreciation in what they already have! In any case they deserve to be fucked. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
just don't cheat or help someone cheat, that is what dogs do.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everybody's situation is different. I love the way we all jump in and pass judgement on everyone completely unfettered by the facts. Am I a married man? Yep. Am I on this site? Obviously. Therefore I am a low life cheating scum. Or am I a man who lives in a companionable but non sensual relationship with a woman who decided during or after menopause that her sexual interest was very low to non existent. She is aware that I play away but so long as I'm very discrete she does nothing about it. A classic "Don't ask, don't tell" situation. Does she want a potential new playmate ringing her up to see if it's "OK". A resounding NO!! Like I said we're all different. To quote Gerry Rafferty "whatever's written in your heart that's all that matters"
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RHP User
11 years ago
You asked for advice. I'm not sure if you actually got any in between all the ranting and raving. One of the best ways to suss if someone is married or not would be to arrange to meet them at a time which would normally be "family time", although this might not always be viable due to the fact that there are a lot of single parents on here. All I can say is that you must do what you feel is right for you. But never forget your self worth. HP, please tell her she's worth it
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ronmelb
11 years ago
I understand lot of people may think married man being on this site is like awful and horrible, but sometime every thing is not just black or white, I wish life was that easy. I am here not because I am unhappy with my marriage I am here because my sexual preference are different from my partner, we do not mach with each other when it come to sex but that do not means I have to end my relationship. Our relationship is perfect emotionally it just lack of sexual desire by my partner and it not lack of communication btw us. Its simple fact she is not comfortable with lot of things what I like when it come to sex and I do not want to force her to do any thing that she is not happy with it no fun .Its hard to keep ignoring once sexual need. I am honest about my relationship here not trying to mislead any one. I do understand lot of women fear to approach married men as u might end up hurting the family but if u keep it discreet and make sure u do not fall in love and become a good friends and respect each others personal life ... Say I said before it not all black or white there are few shade of grey in life
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sammilling
11 years ago
Well thanks for this topic.I type of sexmarried and have been for 40 plus years,as some ladies have said about there married lifes the partener is into sex but every thing else is realy good. For me iam very happy but my wife two years said she wasnt wanting sex any more but is happy to be a star fish so i can have it ,i dont feel that turned on by that type of sex she has said if iam not happy find someone else for lt .So that why iam on here no she dosnt know, but maybe it better that way as everthing else in our life is realy good i would never leave her,but a good session of sex ever so often keeps me happy in that department ,so we have a real good marrage still.So maybe befor ever one starts getting all moral maybe they should ask questions first to understand where the person is on here.
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sammilling
11 years ago
the first line should read iam married
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RHP User
11 years ago
At the risk of all the comments I have coming my way with what I'm about to say, I think it needs to be said...well I feel like I need to say it. I am a happily married woman. I have been with my hubby for 6 years, married for only 5 months... I am not monogamous. He is. He doesn't know about my affairs... All of my "affairs" have been with people we both know...the male part of our couple friends. The sex between us is incredible. The emotional attachment is unbelievable. I'm happy in my marriage BUT I crave cock, and sex... When I am actively mucking around with another man it makes my home life with my hubby 1000000% better. We stop fighting, laugh more, fuck more. I guess unless you are in this situation you won't understand. I still feel guilt everyday over what I do. My point is, I am always 110% upfront and honest when it comes to finding a playmate. They know why I require discretion and exactly what I want from the arrangement. You are always going to be playing with fire... It's up to you if your willing to take that risk...
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inspirit
11 years ago
Quoting 'Wunfa' Being a married man playing without partners consent I do understand that not all are comfortable wanting to meet or play with me and also sets me up for judgement and pot shots each time I stick my head over the top of the forum or profile searching trenches. I tell people up front and have married listed in my profile. I could say that I am single or unattached to arrange more meets but that pretence is too hard to keep up. It is then the call of the individuals I am in conversation with whether they contact me, reply to me or choose to meet me. I get it.....I understand it...some people aren't going to be comfortable playing with a married man where the wife/partner is unaware. But I also think the bottom line is that we are all free to make a choice and as everyone's situation is unique, most have us have our reasons for doing the things we do with in anything in life. The pros and cons of any decision are weighed up from the information available (sometimes that info can be just instinct or "gut feel") and we go with whatever we are comfortable with or whatever risk / outcome we are willing to accept. Sometimes my situation perfectly suits anothers requirements. One thing on here that has surprised me is the number of women on this site, who prefer to play with a married or attached man because of the lower chance of emotional involvement and just want a casual easy going type of thing without too many complications and crossovers into other aspects of their lives. A lot depends on where people are at in their lives and these things can change over time obviously. People's reasons are as varied as we are all individual. I have seen and spoken with both men and women who are in "committed" relationships but can barely acknowledge each other's existence whilst living under the same roof but still find the time and effort to deride or abuse the other, but then recoil in horror, shock, anger and hurt when their partner is seeking the unfulfilled aspects of their so called relationship elsewhere. I find that more difficult to get my head around. I am sure it is never easy. For those on here who want too judge....well one day I hope you are not in the same situation.
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inspirit
11 years ago
However time passes by and I have a better understanding why married men do cheat. I also have a better understanding as to why I would now consider fucking a married man. And for all you people who want too judge me....my marriage split was partly due to infidelity. No need too tell me how I would feel then hey. I always thought I could not do it and be a possible cause of a marriage breakdown. However, men know what they are doing and they are well aware of the consequences. I am sure for most it is not an easy decision. I have read some of you talk about bad Karma etc.... what of it. Maybe good karma as well, as maybe if he does get caught it is doing her a favour, even him a favour. Let's face it a sexless marriage isn't all that great for all. Where is the intimacy that is so important in any kind of relationship. You may as well be best friends and leave it at that. OP.... it is your decision and no one else's. You can ask for advice though trust me it will not help you make your decision any easier. Just remember though you have too feel comfortable with it. As for me.... I am going too have an interlude with cheating married man. Do I feel any kind of guilt... NO. Will it be an ongoing thing..NO. Judge me all you like as I really could not give a rats arse.
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RHP User
11 years ago
would not knowingly hook up with a married/attached guy. While everyone may have their reasons for doing the things they do, I would rather be informed so I can make my own decision, which would be to walk away. Like them too, I have my reasons for not wanting to hook up with a married/attached guy. Regarding your second point about the guys that claim to be 'single', its hard if you are just meeting them for a one night stand or fuck buddy type of arrangement, you may never know. Getting to know someone first usually helps as often times the truth always has a way of coming out. I always take what I'm told with a grain of salt. As to your being torn whether or not to have sex with them, I'd say do what works best for you, put yourself first.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you really believe your wife "decided" (nothing to do with how menopause screws with your mind and body) to lose sexual interest? Menopause can have a devastating effect on a woman. No one decides to not feel desired..... So many guns to heads forcing people to have to cheat. It's an epidemic.
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oralover43
11 years ago
Not all married men who cheat are scumbags, some do it because the sex life at home is not happening. I am happily married to my wife and love her very much, however the sex has dwindled to half a dozen times a year at most and only when she wants it and always at the same time of the month.There is nothing wrong with the sex, it is pretty full on and my wife always enjoys herself as do I, I would however like it a little more often and sometimes spontaneously. I have tried talking to her about it many times but she just laughs it off and says that most other couples are the same. Maybe they are, maybe their not, I certainly am not. I have also tried talking to her about trying other things such as inviting in another couple or male/female partner, but she will not have a bar of it and gets really shitty even if I delicately persist. I then give up trying as she firmly belives that every one else is the same, and anyway we are married and therefore " it is how it is" She is a fantastic wife in every other respect and I would never even contemplate leaving, but good sex is also important and when that is missing, well one starts to look elsewhere. If things were different at home I would never be on a site like this. Am I a scumbag, I don't think so, I am sure some others will. Some people will say you should never go behind your partners back ever, regardless of how she thinks. I wonder though how many of those same people would think differently if they were in a similar situation.
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devilblond68
11 years ago
Where do I draw the line???? Lets face it most of us are here for some fun who am I to tell someone else how to live there life I was thinking mmmm I'm one of those married dogs have best wife in the world but she don't want to anymore do I leave her cause we don't match up anymore??? Just for sex!! Or pay for it,or wank it off,or porn on line, can one of you people that have such good morals tell me what to do. Cute please your self but I'm thinking these guys are on here for same thing and have already gone through these things maybe you will be saving a relationship with some NSA sex - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' .... You may as well be best friends and leave it at that. Judge me all you like as I really could not give a rats arse. Exactly ! Those that fall out emotionally separate and get divorced ... those that find themselves "growing apart" on the small yet not unimportant issue of sexual interaction in an otherwise enduring relationship look for alternative solutions. Consider yourself judged and found guilty of being an honest, clear thinking individual with a propensity to act rationally. OP Despite your wording I'm sure you have a specific person in mind and are not simply considering whether or not you should fuck all the married guys ? IMO if you are happy to cheat yourself out of something you want / desire based on the moral perceptions of others I'm afraid you have bigger issues to deal with. The way that you have asked the question indicates to me that you have already decided that you WANT to engage with this person but you're worried what others might think or how you'll be judged by them - you'll never find happiness in that paradigm as control is surrendered to "others". Make yourselves happy.
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Man2DesireU
11 years ago
I think it is very important to distinguish between cheaters and legitimate married guys. My wife and I have been on RHP for a few years. We are in a very loving/stable relationship but have been 'experimenting' sexually with others for a while. Recently we decided that having me (guy) play alone with women really works for us as a couple. I understand that some women aren't interested in married guys, and that is fine. I do suspect however, that many haven't considered the advantages. There are some, including being able to have a genuine FWB that isn't ever going to get 'clingy' or 'complicated'. I'm not going to fall in love with another woman, I already have the love of the most beautiful woman I know. If it is genuinely about having fun and just being FWBs (like many profiles suggest), then it can work really well.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry ApolloThirteen. "decided" was a very poor choice of words.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well I was in unhappy defacto relationship for 10years ive since left her and started living Not much sex ect I used prostitutes to fill my needs but as children got older and not as much money I turned to online fwb I make my moral code in life I sleep well at night ive no regrets I think thats what matters its what you can live with no one can tell you what you can live with
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RHP User
11 years ago
Crrazyhorse, I like what you said. It's all about personal preferences and what choices one is comfortable with. For instance it's my choice to not hook up with married guys, I have my reasons and it's not for you to understand them or to try and change my mind. Same as it's not for me to understand why married guys are on here. It shits me so much when the guy(s) say stuff like 'if it's genuinely about having fun and FWB'.....of course it is, but just not with an attached guy; my choice RHP is like a big world and there's plenty on here that would gladly go where others prefer not to, and that doesn't make them bad people, just means we are different - Posted from rhpmobile
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Splicey
11 years ago
Enabling someone to 'cheat' is not who I want to be defined as. Being the 'other woman' to a man who is in a relationship is something I would really struggle being labelled, not to mention the back lash of the friends or people who know everyone involved. At the end of the day I have a level of self respect and integrity that I won't sacrifice, but I have my loyalties as well and if I have no emotional or close relationship with the persons partner than I leave it up to them to run their life how they choose to - while I do what is right for me and my partner. I know it sounds hypocritical, and I never thought I would ever find myself in such a position, but some times life just happens.
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RHP User
11 years ago
http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Married-amp-attached-men-what-are-you-looking-for-42895 This thread reminds me of the above link but less controversial, that thread was enough to make me leave here.I did come back but have come back on different terms and mainly for these forums.This is a real issue and people will hold their views according to their own values, if you are sympathetic or overflowing with indignation that's fine as long as you are sincere in your beliefs.Each to their own
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't have an opinion on this as I went through my father cheating on my mother and I believe I have been cheated on or almost. But what surprises me is how many men that r attached want kisses and hugs. That speaks volumes to me. Lukki
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well said my sentiments exactly.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And I make no effort to hide it. There is, however, a huge difference between cheaters and swingers/people in open relationships etc. I would never cheat and the only reason I would ever enable someone to do so (althpugh i wouldn't anyway, but in theory) would be so I could know for sure that they're willing to go through with it before informing their partner.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would never be with a man who is already attached to someone else. It's a unwritten rule I follow and it's just wrong. Any man whose profile says he's married or attached who has looked at my profile (I can't believe someone would look and consider me. I guess some people will screw anything and I'm not like that.) is blocked. The only time I would interact with one is if I was invited to be in a threesome and everyone is cool with it.
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