M58
"Give a shit" factor
July 24 2019
Comments
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OkeyDoke45
5 years ago
My position on this is shifting somewhat of recent, but I am still conflicted in the main. Having had a recent wonderful dalliance with someone I knew previously, I enjoyed the more personal aspect of our connection. We had a great night and agreed to become FWBs. It became very apparent very quickly however that she was hoping for more than just that and I had to distance myself from her as politely as I could. I suspect she feels used and it was just an unfortunate string of events overall. This seems to be something that can occur and is a bit of a risk in having an emotional connection - either you or they will want things to progress further. Prior to all this occurring I was just after quick fixes, which was fine for a bit but then it all started to become a bit ho-hum - more like animals rutting than anything, so I started wishing for something a bit more meaningful. I am in no way after a relationship (which was stated quite plainly to my female friend on our night of passion), but someone that I actually like being around for longer than sexual congress occurs would be nice.
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
If sex is something that is enjoyable and fulfilling, then we should be able to enjoy it. It is a beautiful thing. I do it for myself, not what others or society thinks I should be doing. I do not feel guilty for having sexual relationships or for my sexuality. Safety and being safe is important to me and my lovers. I try to be clear with my intentions for all the right reason and with no expectations. I call the shots, if I want a booty call or something ongoing then it is up to me to decide. As for ongoing lovers, as long as there is respect, the sex is great and everyone is happy, then it is all good. If he/they is not satifying me, then it is time to move on. Ms Foxy x
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
I have a lover who cares very much getting off before anything else. This makes him very happy and quite satified. Is that caring? For me it is. I care very much that he is happy, which makes me happy. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
getting "ME" off before anything else.!! Jesuse, if he got off before me, I wouldn't return. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
5 years ago
Fwb can be problematic if u don't give a shit. Long term fwb can work if it's core is actual real friendship. I have been fortunate in that regard. The more time u get to know someone the better the sex in my opinion. However there is the very rare mind blowing one off experiences. Rare indeed and not something I've tried for a long time. Then there is the party scene good for experience and a bit of adventure. But I think it looses it shine very quick.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Poor wording You are questioning no strings attached sex and how satisfying it is, fair enough. Throwing words like “honor” into the argument however, makes this a whole different thing. What does someone’s honor has anything to do with sex when all parties consent to it, there is no dishonesty, no cheating? Or are we back to stoning people for not being a virgin? No strings attached or “robotic sex” as you put it, is not something I practice, I feel attachment to those I share intimacy with, to varying degrees, I don’t do one night stands or hook ups. As for safety and satisfaction; all our encounters are for pushing the limits of intimacy and satisfaction further, nothing robotic there. And since we are always together when we meet likeminded people, it’s very safe. We didn’t start doing this yesterday, if it didn’t work we wouldn’t be here. I fact we are more satisfied and happier than ever.
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Mask_007
5 years ago
I do care a lot, not hear just for sex, really looking in to making new friends, and if something happens is a bonus, if not i am happy with just friends. Sex with some of safe connection/care/safe is everything. I am very secured of what i am looking for. And
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ElectricDreamers
5 years ago
There's a sensual intensity that comes from sentient sex, if that makes sense. Doesn't mean either party (ies) need to be looking for anything beyond that moment but FFS be in the moment at least. My new catchphrase is: I'm not anyone's party trick and I'm not their prop! I did clarify to a girlfriend that I will, however happily be a play toy, I guess because that requires imagination and input from the other person. x MrsElectric
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
Re: Poor wording.Yes, I meant in terms of acting respectfully, particularly after the deed.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Emotionally claustrophobic so one off encounters worked for me..And I am easily bored. Over the years I had two FBs who I saw maybe once a month..the sex was great but conversation and time was limited. I was fond of both of them but we weren't exactly friends. Am I an honourable person? I am not sure what that exactly means. Am I respectfull? If the other person in my opinion deserves it and behaves in a respectful way towards me..otherwise ..phtt, Hugs Q Ps nice to see you back Rod
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RHP User
5 years ago
You dont respect yourself. My lovers have been guys Ive met socially beforehand. Hook ups are not for me. But we are all different and people want different things My lovers are great guys who I still see and keep in touch with. I think that says a lot
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
If think that your experience is similar to my own.Quick fixes become ho-hum, but emotional connection is risky.You may start on the same page, but it often turns into "Everything is different now" and you have to back away.
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
It is my opinion that you are able to maintain a harmonious balance between connection and independence because you make it so.Just to be clear, I am commending you and wish that there were more just like you. Most women want to snare a good guy and lock him in a cage.It doesn't work.The guy fights for his freedom and it all goes pear shaped.
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
(Hi Stranger) You make some great points: "Who gives a shit about what other people or society think." Damn right.We only get one shot at life and should be free to pursue whatever lifestyle suits us best.Not feel enslaved be social norms. "As for ongoing lovers, as long as there is respect, the sex is great and everyone is happy, then it is all good. If he/they is not satifying me, then it is time to move on. " Exactly.Be respectful, stay on the same page and respectfully move on when needs are no longer met.Longevity comes from maintaining mutual satisfaction.
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2inBrisbane
5 years ago
So I look at it from basically 2 perspectives. 1) I / We want to go out for a night meet someone that we think is physically attractive and have some sexy fun -- We go to a swinging club to achieve this outcome. 2) I / We want to make a connection with that will translate into ongoing dynamic, whether that is a FWB, Poly Triad, or something else will depend on a range of factors, not the least being connection, time, and personal situation / circumstances. For this scenario we like to take things slower, we would like to chat online, meet in person - asses physical chemistry - and then discuss how this might play out given our available time / circumstances. This process takes time and the ratio of knock backs is much greater - looking for something unique / rare here means that we need to accept that lots are not going to meet the criteria, and accept that its better for all to say no early than to try and make a situation fit that isn't really a good fit. Does that mean that sometimes we feel like we aren't achieving why we are here... for sure... but I think that the end result will be more than worth sorting through to find that person that connects and melds with us in a way that just works. AJ (the male half )
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RHP User
5 years ago
At all.......... I just feel that one offs dont have any concerns other than getting laid. Thats why I prefer semi regular. Safety and satisfaction guaranteed with someone you actually like.
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RHP User
5 years ago
My inbox has been swamped. Spoilt for choice, women are lucky in that regard, but filtering through to find someone I'm attracted to, who shows some hope of caring about me enough to want more than a hole to fuck, reduces the numbers significantly. Not complaining, still some promising ones 😍
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RHP User
5 years ago
I don’t like care less sex, robotic sex or ceiling needs painting sex, why bother ? Sex needs to be hot, inspiring and passionate, you know, a memorable worthwhile experience for both or everyone involved. So I have always tried to bring it and give it, respect the partner, commit to the partner (in the moment) and try and pour petrol on those flames. The thing is it often then gets mistaken for more than it is even though it started with a clear understanding of fb or fwb. This can be a dangerous game we play, always be clear with the rules and keep those communication channels wide open. Oh hmm that reads like a brag, it’s not, just sharing my story.
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Treborandevad
5 years ago
With FWB, some forget the F stands for Friends, so it's not possible to detach from your love interest completely. It must have been that at some point you found interest in each other that got you to this point. Otherwise it is all pretty shallow.😀😀
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
I think that you have nailed the fundamental of the issue."Woman are lucky in that regard"There are always many to choose from and women have the ability to find that 1 in 100 that fits, when you have hundreds to choose from.It is different for men.The Inbox is scant, the competition is huge and the chance of finding someone, like the lovely ladies that have posted, that possess the emotional maturity to encounter the "give a shit" factor and not lose their shit, is remote.
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
I hear you dude.Same same.T&Cs need to be in writing.
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
TBH - I haven't been there, but I expect that the "give a shit" factor is far less important for couples, than with singles, because you already have the "give a shit" factor, from your partner.(I envy that) As Treborandevad said "With FWB, some forget the F stands for Friends".That is what makes it special (IMHO)
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RHP User
5 years ago
Regarding connection and intimacy, a proper connection is harder to find, but intimacy I've shared with most of my fb's. I engage with intimacy and need that from them. There were a few where the sex was good, but I didn't feel that intimacy, I had no desire to see them again. Robotic sex is not for me. But the individuals dictate how much intimacy is there, it's an ability to be able to love in the moment, to dissolve into them. Real connection is a different matter, each has to be focused on the other, to make you feel special. I think I'm over meeting a guy and waiting for a phone call a month later. I feel more in control now and won't be waiting for them. A girl has needs 😜
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RodGoodGuy
5 years ago
It is my experience that most woman, especially on sites other than RHP, can't do that.Even if they profess to be staunchly independent and just looking for fun times, they lose their shit when treated lovingly. I raised the Post because I have had my fill of sex for sex sake and crave more.What I call the "Give a shit" factor goes beyond the ability to love in the moment.It is the caring for others that endures beyond the sex.It's being a friend...ongoing.For couples, it is someone that remains connected but would never do anything to challenge the bond the couple have.For singles, it is someone that remains connected but both parties respect each others individuality and does not seek to change it to satisfy their own wants. I guess this Post is about the quandary of being stuck between not wanting to date as sex for sex sake and not wanting to date for fear that it will get out of hand. I thank those that have posted to affirm that a happy medium is possible.Now I would really like to hear, particularly from the single guys, about thoughts and experiences in this regard.Does anyone deliberately disengage from connection/intimacy, simply to avoid potential emotional driven hassle?
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