M50 F49
Glossary or terms in swinging land.
January 12 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm attractive but you can be the judge of that - I'm too bloody lazy to actually think about my profile and anyway, even though I have a face that looks like a warped sandshoe Mum loves me just the way I am. l Ask me - Im gonna tell you lies anyway and this wil give me time to think them up. l Won't stop until I'm asked - I will harass you until you do block me and then write a forum topic about how you done me wrong. l
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RHP User
13 years ago
BRAE Beautiful Rare Articulate Erotic Discrete: I will meet you in a park wearing a trench coat and dark glasses, please come sit in my car and suck me off. Loves to kiss: likes to duck and weave if you try to kiss me on the mouth but happy to blow you a kiss as I run out the door. Respect your boundaries: I know, you love getting shagged by me and my mates and well if you try to run out of the house again I will have to tie you up, cause you clearly do not know your boundaries so I am here to help you with that. Have own place. My mother and dad just happen to live here, don’t mind dad he is harmless guy that wanders in and likes to wank as he watches us. Sorry about the clothes on the floor can you wash and iron them after I fuck you for all of five seconds.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'll come back and fill this in later so you can get to know me better = I can't really be bothered and I guess I just want to get a root but truth be told if i can't really be bothered to make an effort here I'm going to be a shit lay anyway so don't waste your time. Ask Me Ask Me Ask Me Ask Me Ask Me = I either have a lot to hide or I am lazy and so will be rubbish in bed.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Brae, I noticed that you have now turned 37, you have obvioulsy had a birthday this month, as has Sarah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BOTH!!! . How very lax of me not to notice before now. But I want you to know, you don't look a day over 50. . xx Meeks
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RHP User
13 years ago
Discrete = I may say I'm single or separated or divorced or a professional but I'm probably married, just so you know. Just give us the choice guys, tell us the truth and give us the choice about wether we want to see you if you're married. You're asking for trouble if you don't. You will eventually get named and shamed because you're such rubbish liars. Or she will come to your house and tell your Mrs. Seriously, if you're married just say so. Much less hassle for everyone.
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RHP User
13 years ago
NSA - i have herpes and will not be responsible for anything you, your loved ones or your dog catches after I have slept with them all!Personality- life of the party- I guarrantee to drink all my yours and everyone elses booze, dance like a mozzie caught in a bug zapper and stick my toungue down nanny olives ear canal before passing out on your bed and vomiting everywhere with your panties (which I knicked from the cupboard) on my head....any more?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Candle Wax: I have an 8" dia baptismal candle shaped like a cock.... which is no where near as impressive as having an 8" dia cock shaped like a baptismal candleGenital play: I can do this all day long under my desk.Breathe Play: What's your phone number, I'll call you at 3 am when I wake up with a hard on.Water Sports: I enjoy playing in the shower as much as the next bloke.Bukkake: I still have at least two of my front teeth.Rimming: I enjoy a clean pair of wheels and a hot date.Hair Pulling: I still have some.Role play: When Ive busted a nut I role over to one side and pretend I'm dead.HugsStalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
LMFAO .... are you sure you are new to this site?HugsStalkyQuoting 'Handmaiden' I'm attractive but you can be the judge of that - I'm too bloody lazy to actually think about my profile and anyway, even though I have a face that looks like a warped sandshoe Mum loves me just the way I am. l Ask me - Im gonna tell you lies anyway and this wil give me time to think them up. l Won't stop until I'm asked - I will harass you until you do block me and then write a forum topic about how you done me wrong. l
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RHP User
13 years ago
Stalkers, Let me introduce you to the better twin, handmaiden is such a sweet lady and apparently is no relation to other non sweet ladies we may know. Well so she insists but none of us believe her!!! :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't know Meeks.... everyone here seems so wonderful on these drugs, that I can hardly remember my own name... Stalky_studbuster? I have however, seen that image somewhere... Maybe if you can dim the lights I might recognise the top of that beautiful bob cut? :pHugsStalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
How many times have I told you Stalkers only one blue tablet at a time. Sheesh you don't want to pop a nut!! Hehehe . Meeks ♡♡
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relaxedfun76
13 years ago
SNAG Really I'm just a Social Nusiance After Grog
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RHP User
13 years ago
I love having fun....do you ? My hair color wouldn’t allow me to string more than 3 sentences together, so that RHP profile builder, is sooooooooooo handy…I love not having to think for myself and I so don’t have to even if I am looking for a shag !!! RHP does it all for me…Now lets begin, sure I’m low maintenance ,I put up a appealing photo and you contacted me and we exchange 9 sms and we are off for coffee, cause that’s my idea of fun..and then we can rock on back to your place, where you will demand of me a blowjob first up, don’t worry about pleasuring me, its all about you… , and I’ll give you one, cause I love having fun !!!, and you can film me on your Iphone and show all the lads at work, cause I’m having fun !!! Lots of it. We will shag, once, no - twice, and you don’t have to even take me out for a drink or dinner, just sms me and I will run on over to your pigsty of an apartment, (I’m not noticing your dirty jocks strewn all over the bedroom floor, or the bottle of Exit Mould in the shower recess, I’m way too busy having fun !! ) !... Oh another shag, I will send you giggly sms while your at work, and you will reply to them intermittently cause I’ve forgotten that while your having fun with me, your having fun with others…somehow I thought it was just me you were seeing. By the way, are you coming over Saturday nite ? , my teenage kids will be home and it will be nice for them to meet Mummy’s new friend….and remember how I told you I’m moving house next Saturday, well I’ve organised to hire that Dial a trailer you told me about, but I’m hopeless and can’t drive a manual, so you know, we are in a relationship now, cause I sucked your cock (twice) and you filmed it, so I must mean something to you? don’t I ? so your ok with coming over and helping me move that couch aren’t you ? Yes? Cause like it will be fun .. I’m having fun, aren’t you ? aren’t you ? and after we move the house, I figured on a bbq, I’ve asked my Mum over with her new bloke and it would be nice for you to meet them, and of course the kids will be there … Are we having fun yet ?, cause we have shagged three times now, and you return all my sms, of today, so you know..its working for me, is it working for you ??, but I have to say, we do need to talk, cause like I really need to know that your not just using me for a root, just cause I only ever see you on a Saturday nite and you only stay over, till like 8.00am Sunday morning, then you blow in me afterlike 2 and quarter minutes of foreplay, and leave, after we both had sooooooooooo much fun, although I’ve noticed you don’t go down on me….???mmm…..so like are using me for a fuck ? Are you ? Are you ? Are you ? I love having fun, do you ??
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm independent, opinionated and not afraid to speak my mind. ☞ I will be a royal pain the the ass at all times and want to dominate every conversation if you can get a word in edgewise. Really, don't give a shit about what you have to say or think as long as you agree with me. | I'm adventurous and willing to try new things. ☞ I don't have much experience and a bit of a starfish, so getting me to try something other than "missionary" might be a real uphill battle. Those ropes...don't even think about it unless you marry me and sign a pre-nup in my favour. | There'll be more I'm sure...I'm a light social drinker and now that the half bottle of scotch is kicking in it's getting harder to type and remain lucid. The half rack of Coronas at lunch didn't help much either.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am only here for the forums: I am a pent up pyschopath who sits at home taping out nonesense till my mum comes home. Despite me commenting on everything from boob size to rimming I have actually not had sex in the last 4+ years and think my cock may have fossilised.......................Good personal hygiene: Shower weekly. Visited a dentist once. Have thought of dreadlocking my pubic hair.....................Experienced Dom: Read a couple of books, liked the look of 9 and 1/2 weeks ( Thats BDSM yeah?). Potruding belly. Over emphasis on telling everyone of my high level of experience..........................Looks not important: I will fuck anyone and anything, I lost all self respect years ago..Brae (wandering off to change my profile to say "I am only hear fro the forums)..........................................................You know why they are there !
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RHP User
13 years ago
Mr RHP can we please have a horse giving the finger...................... to signify "fuck you and the horse you rode in on"? I think that would be cute Perhaps pop that horse on roller blades for a quick getaway
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RHP User
13 years ago
Attractive: I have my own teeth - well they are mine now, the hospital dentist said so, he is not sure who's they were to start with but since I nawed mine off to the stumps from masticating at night due to the over consumption of drugs and the nice dentist gave this pair he found I do - Anyway my mum says I am attractive and she should know we live together!.Safe sex - If required: I dont care about what I catch why would I give a shit what you catch ! .Brae. Nope it doesnt take long, remarkable how quick actually ! Yes white like old dog poo, with kinda the same smell
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RHP User
13 years ago
A secret admirer and a stalker are the same thing, except one is stationary.
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RHP User
13 years ago
...showing off my GSOHCant believe I'm first with - No Males: Except you of course, you are awesome. Your profile photo does make you look like a cock, but fortunately for you that's all the women care about!
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RHP User
13 years ago
NO SINGLE MEN: YES even you genius, no matter how good looking your mum told you ,you are, we are tired of the endless dribble of messages we get from single guys offering to pork .... not both of us just our wives! Thanks for telling us you will show her the time of her life - After all thank god ! All this time I havent been able too and we were just waiting for a good man like you to come along and "fix her up". No no no there are not a hundreds of others of you offering and yes your one eyed monster looks amazing ......9 inches you say wow! Oh but thanks for messaging us and joining the endless line of single guys who dont bother to read our profile! Quoting 'chickcara' ...showing off my GSOHCant believe I'm first with - No Males: Except you of course, you are awesome. Your profile photo does make you look like a cock, but fortunately for you that's all the women care about!Brae .....maybe a little tired
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