F51
Grudges
July 24 2014
Comments
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......
-
RHP User
10 years ago
When I first discovered the forums I'd join in on the fun stuff with off handed comments that probably didn't do me justice without people actually knowing me personally and came across arrogant. I've seen this since from other newbie posters and understand that it is them trying to join in on the banter where there is already established "norms" and relationships. I feel for them when they get called on it publicy, I never was and learnt. I did get offended early in the piece before we knew there was a label for what we were doing. Foxy pointed out that we were cuckolding, at that stage I thought cuckolding was something out of the Dark ages to belittle and humiliate my Hubby. It is (lol) but the notion did hurt me and made me go and do some research of my own. I also left the forums for a bit but soon got comfortable with the term and understood that Foxy didn't say this to hurt but educate, I'm glad she did! I love a good debate, but bitchiness is uncalled for. However sometimes what we type comes across the wrong way, so I always give people leeway with that. Paraverbals are so essential for clear communication, you just don't get that on a written forum. I don't hold grudges, but I do become wary of what I write and what debate I enter into!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Personal attacks can be fraught.... Sometimes people are quite fragile,but if someone bites me I will probably bite back... Just have a little nibble of course...xQ
-
Violetincredible
10 years ago
I hold grudges... And I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to people who have said things that I've taken personally... But I also have a long memory for people who have said things I love... Hmm I like to think of myself as balanced :p Xxviolet
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Hahaha but then later on I'm like "meh"....but I definitely don't forget, I have a special memory bank for those. Mrs TB_S - Posted from rhpmobile
-
TheLuckyOne
10 years ago
I definitely hold grudges! If I have an issue with someone, a wall automatically goes up and there is no way they are getting back in. I will be polite but I won't be friendly! And it takes a LOT to bring that wall down again.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...... got a list do you? haha I am not one of them ;)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'rocknminx' When I first discovered the forums I'd join in on the fun stuff with off handed comments that probably didn't do me justice without people actually knowing me personally and came across arrogant. I've seen this since from other newbie posters and understand that it is them trying to join in on the banter where there is already established "norms" and relationships. I feel for them when they get called on it publicy, I never was and learnt. I did get offended early in the piece before we knew there was a label for what we were doing. Foxy pointed out that we were cuckolding, at that stage I thought cuckolding was something out of the Dark ages to belittle and humiliate my Hubby. It is (lol) but the notion did hurt me and made me go and do some research of my own. I also left the forums for a bit but soon got comfortable with the term and understood that Foxy didn't say this to hurt but educate, I'm glad she did! I love a good debate, but bitchiness is uncalled for. However sometimes what we type comes across the wrong way, so I always give people leeway with that. Paraverbals are so essential for clear communication, you just don't get that on a written forum. I don't hold grudges, but I do become wary of what I write and what debate I enter into! It is hard being a newbie but you gotta find your little niche and where you fit in the community.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
In the practice of tolerance, ones enemies are the best teachers - The Dalai Lama
-
Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
No I don't hold grudges, that would take way to much effort, which could be spent on something a lot more beneficial? Not everyone is going to get along, people are going to have different opinions, different attitudes and some people are just assholes. If it's someone that I don't particularly like, then I will just be polite and that's about all they will get from me.... If someone does wrong by me than it's a little different, trust and respect is a lot harder to get back, still try not to hold a grudge though....The old saying is.......stupid people never forgive or forget, naive people forgive and forget and the wise forgive, but never forget.....💋
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I've had spats with several forum posters over time whose comments I usually really like, and I forget things quickly. There are a few who just keep rubbing though, in which case I'm guilty of reading a lot of what they write through a "I don't like anything you say" filter. Not proud of that.
-
Circe
10 years ago
However... There are people that I just don't particularly like very much- for no real reason. Just don't, and generally I just skip their posts and don't respond to them at all- I'm aware of my bias...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We can't help hold grudges for a bit...some do for longer than others. I wish I didn't lol
-
RHP User
10 years ago
This is the worst story about me that I can share, this is my shame Five years ago I had a falling out with the person that meant the most to me, my Maman A falling out over my choice of partner at the time, ironically who I am no longer in a relationship with She got on a plane and flew back to our homeland and I never saw her again Over the years I hoped that she would give in and make contact with me and I am sure she felt the same about me, but I was so self centred and self righteous I would not alter on my belief and the core of our argument April of last year, she died unexpectedly, but because of our stupid stupid rift I did not learn of her passing until July of last year. My family did not tell me. By then , it was all too late. I never saw her, never spoke to her and never got to tell her how sorry and stupid I was and that I loved her. I never got to go to her funeral and grieve, never never never and now a year on I am beyond sorry for my childish pride and stupid actions. I would give anything, anything to have a few moments with her again to say I love her and I'm sorry I understand why people have grudges, and if this sits well with you, that is fine. My grudge suited me for 4 years and I held it very very tight. the strange think is that she is the only person I have ever treated like this, increasing my shame But if you are even doubting your grudge for a moment , then perhaps revisit your grudge and ask if its worth it. And is it really serving you or that other person Surely the events of the last few days, can only reinforce that life is too short and fragile and we are here only fleetingly.
-
lovman8
10 years ago
It takes too much effort to hold grudges. Easier to just forget it and move on. And it is my belief that you can't offend me......I have the choice as to whether I "take " offence.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
That it's just the internet?? Get butthurt over something that's said here without remembering that they're just words on a screen and thumbnail image and you've got bigger issues than climate change. Yep...I've been there....got my knickers all up in a twist at one stage....was constantly wondering why it was I was trying so hard to attract women with these posts of mine that I lost my shit..... So... I left....came back....left.... Came back....yeah ok you get the picture.... But now....I don't allow people the space in my head.....they're just not worth it.... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Paradisepair
10 years ago
So no to holding grudges, but like MrsBangin' I am unlikely to forget bad behaviour, if they've been on the attack it probably manifests as me taking whatever someone says with a grain of salt.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Quoting 'YoungAndMarried' In the practice of tolerance, ones enemies are the best teachers - The Dalai Lama Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
That was so brave of you to share your story. Im sure your mother was hoping to hear from you and almost giving in, too, and is watching over you from a greater plain. We humans are stubborn creatures, and your story has made me promise myself not to hold grudges, (even with my ex partner.) Thank you, and please have peace of mind.
-
Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
Found this while searching Grudges. Has a ring of common sense to it. “Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people...but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
-
RHP User
10 years ago
For sharing such an intimate and self effacing story. It put things in perspective and makes the spats here look trivial, which they are. I have nothing meaningful to add after such a wonderful post except to hope you have put the bitterness behind and remember the love of your mother which it sounds like you have. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Tall74nHard9
10 years ago
Quoting 'JerseyGirl' I definitely hold grudges! If I have an issue with someone, a wall automatically goes up and there is no way they are getting back in. I will be polite but I won't be friendly! And it takes a LOT to bring that wall down again. Exactly the same as you JG. I will give someone the benefit of the doubt initially, but if they prove they didn't learn their lesson, the 'wall' goes up a mile high, and stays there. I have had a few of the "ladies" on this site say things about me without foundation, nor the benefit of actually bothering to get to know me personally to make proper 'judgement', and I don't interact with them anymore on site. (They know who they are). I can hold a grudge for life - I don't forget, nor do I usually forgive if I perceive the hurt was big enough. May sound harsh to some, but that's the way I'm wired. Tall
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I hold a grudge against, everybody loves me. The only person that pisses me off is me but I'm a very forgiving man so I let it go quickly.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Over the years I have learnt holding grudges is not worth loosing my mental state or mind over. I try really hard to have a positive attitude about things, try to see things from a different ways of thinking and why some people do the things they do. Put myself in their shoes and see from all angles. Growing up I witnessed some horrible acts of violence and abuse. Do I hold a grudge with these people..NO. Do I hold them responsible for their own actions YES. Do they have to live with their actions...YES I choose to live in peace and harmony and abuse free. If I lived holding grudges every day I would drive myself MENTAL. When I notice something starts to drives me bonkers and I start thinking or obsessing about it or it is effecting my daily living, over time I can't tolerate it. I feel like I have lost control of myself. When I look at myself in the mirror, see myself in that state, I see myself as unattractive and it's not pretty look..believe you me - it's really not the pretty....I don't like feeling like that or seeing that unattractive side of me coming out. Do I hold a grudge with myself for doing that...NAH! LOL Hope that makes sense? I always have the thinking with relationships/friendships/family and with people who are in my inner circle, no matter what we support through think or thin. Some of my friends have seen the best and worst in me (goes vice versa) which to me is a great sign of a strong healthy friendships and relationships. Foxy PS-Smilingwithfun- I agree poison to the soul. :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
To hold a grudge. Grudges says more about our insecurity than any actions of another mere human. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'VelvetNoir' This is the worst story about me that I can share, this is my shame Five years ago I had a falling out with the person that meant the most to me, my Maman A falling out over my choice of partner at the time, ironically who I am no longer in a relationship with She got on a plane and flew back to our homeland and I never saw her again Over the years I hoped that she would give in and make contact with me and I am sure she felt the same about me, but I was so self centred and self righteous I would not alter on my belief and the core of our argument April of last year, she died unexpectedly, but because of our stupid stupid rift I did not learn of her passing until July of last year. My family did not tell me. By then , it was all too late. I never saw her, never spoke to her and never got to tell her how sorry and stupid I was and that I loved her. I never got to go to her funeral and grieve, never never never and now a year on I am beyond sorry for my childish pride and stupid actions. I would give anything, anything to have a few moments with her again to say I love her and I'm sorry I understand why people have grudges, and if this sits well with you, that is fine. My grudge suited me for 4 years and I held it very very tight. the strange think is that she is the only person I have ever treated like this, increasing my shame But if you are even doubting your grudge for a moment , then perhaps revisit your grudge and ask if its worth it. And is it really serving you or that other person Surely the events of the last few days, can only reinforce that life is too short and fragile and we are here only fleetingly. and a good lesson, thanks for sharing.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' Found this while searching Grudges. Has a ring of common sense to it. “Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people...but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free so true, how often do we take those great people for granted and waste our headspace on people who aren't entitled to it.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
that would suggest someone had some kind of hold on you, or your emotions.... some people can be annoying, and others can be serial pests, but we try to laugh it off and move on...and get back to the business of why we are here in the first place...fun.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thankyou for sharing your heartfelt story. Although the circumstances are quite different, your story reminds me of the situation between my father and his mother, who passed away a couple years ago. He hadn't spoken to her or anyone else in his family in Croatia for a long time before her death, and his family made it clear that they weren't happy with him when they notified him by simply sending the obituary notice from the local paper (no letter or anything else with it). I'm sure he does regret not having the chance to speak to his mother before she died, but when it comes to his family over there the issues are complex and he doesn't like to talk about it. Dad and I are both stubborn and can be hot tempered and we have had many battles through the years. When I was 12 we didn't speak to each other for about four months, until my birthday when he gave me my present via mum and mum encouraged me to approach him. For many years, if there was a period of not speaking after an argument I would always be the one to 'give in' and start talking again first (if he argued with mum it would be up to her to initiate reconciliation). In recent years the arguments have become much less frequent and intense as dad has mellowed in his older years, and I have learned to handle things better, but I've also noticed that he has let go of the stubborn refusal to talk until either I or mum approach him first. I think perhaps the situation with his mother made him think about things a bit. Now that my parents are getting older I also think about it, and I try not to let the little things bug me as much and to tell myself not to stay angry with them, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Like others have already said, I don't hold grudges. I don't know the person, why would I hold a grudge or any other sort of emotion against them. But they do lose my respect (for want of a better word) to what they have previously said in the forms. And once that happens, I tend not to read their posts or if I do, read them through negative glasses. One could say that they have ceased to exist in the forums for me, they have become totally relevant. Unfortunately, because of the paradigm that is the forums, often others are dragged into the incident as well. For example, if one of the sheeple here totally contradicts her/himself just to 'agree' with the protagonist for whatever personal reason they have, I will treat them with the same disinterest as I do the instigator. Sure makes reading the forums a lot easier, I tend to skip over a lot of post ... lol Mooka
-
tamworthguy46
10 years ago
Is Fucking someone, or wanting to Fuck someone extra hard, and maybe pull their hair, regarded as holding a grudge ?.....if so, I probably do !......It can be fun to forgive.
-
On_Safari
10 years ago
Quoting 'Being_Me' To hold a grudge. Grudges says more about our insecurity than any actions of another mere human. - Posted from rhpmobile There are however one or two people I'd like to blow up....not in a good way.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
My first post was solely in relation to my parents, with whom I have a close relationship and who have provided me with much support over the years. They are the people I am closest to. When it comes to other people things go on a case by case basis depending on how well I know them, what they've done / said and how, and what context and history is at play. Most things can slide or eventually be forgotten, but I'm also not a doormat and I've learned that I'm better off when I actively control who I interact with, and who I don't. Yes, there are a couple people on here that I now tend to ignore not because I hold a grudge against them per se, but because I continuously find that I strongly disagree with just about everything they say, I don't gel with their particular approach to life, and therefore I see it as rather pointless to keep engaging with them or even read what they say. Not everyone will always get along with everyone. People change. Friends and acquaintances come and go, and life goes on.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
You story was very touching & I'm sure very truthful, but you have exposed yourself as the person I pictured. Self centred and "high maintainence", I love to hold a "grudge", but only against ppl that I've shown love and respect to, but have then crossed me. Going back to my split, my family supported my "Ex Ox" & were very judgmental of me, as was my son. I no longer associate with those people, especially my Brothers, that I "chopped out" over the yrs. I've lost all my friends and everything that was dear to me, including my son. Things are now over, ppl are beginning to find out the facts, even my son is now starting to "break ranks", the only ppl that I will think about dealing with will be my son and maybe my parents, but they will have to go a long way to regain my faith and trust, they are older and wiser than my son & knew what they were doing by playing "happy families" on Xmas day with my "Ex Ox". I'm risking exspolsion from this site for my comments, but I'm happy to cop that. I've since reviewed your profile, I'm surprised you didn't block me, and Mischevous Lad, I'm now donning the "flak jacket" again. I love a good debate, but am now intolerant of certain things in my life. My profile is "pl1963", I would welcome anybody that dislikes me to "block" me, many have in the past, some were ppl I'd never even "viewed", they merely blocked me on "face value", profile or "age". Here endth' the 2nd sermon. "Specticales, testicle's, wallet & watch" The Pardray.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I mean specially online when you got so many warriors and heroes behind a screen trying to be funny or cool.. id hold a light grudge if someone in real life betrayed me and ill confront them about it but then let it go and usually leave them out of my life.. lifes too short to have negativity in your mind specially from ones that dont matter at all, so much fun to be had so many experiences and nice people out there to enjoy and share a good moment with. its almost like holding on to poison inside you and hoping the other person gets sick..
-
RHP User
10 years ago
And how's that pity party over there going?? Lots of attendees? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
PL1963
10 years ago
Love your DSOH, no pity party here man, just a much wiser, sometimes bitter person, that has been thru a 2yr battle in court etc. After 20yrs of mediocrity, I'm restarting life again, paying off my house again, but I'm not looking back, people that know are saying I'm looking & sounding the best I have in 20yrs. That's good enough for me. I'm off to go and "grind another axe". Lol. Cheers P.L.
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I'm curious.....What is a "Ex Ox"???? Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I am very happy to hear "you are looking, and sound the best in 20 years" I believe your postings say more about you than any intimate story I can share, will ever say about me I wish you well in your world V x
-
PL1963
10 years ago
The "Ex Ox" is your ex that turns on you out of vengance & takes you to court & tries to ruin your life. They turn into an "Ox" & live unhappily ever after. Here endth the sermon part 3. "Spectacle's, testicles, wallet & Watch". The Pardray.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
@PL1963 I agree with you I was selfish, self centred, mean and unkind to my mother, because I thought I knew better. She on the other hand only wanted what was best for me, regarding this man, and I could not and would not not see this. Compiled this big issue with many little issues, lead to our horrible rift. The grudge I chose to hang onto and the shame and regret I carry with me now. Now we can all see it resolved nothing for either of this. Knowing many things now from her friends , my mother grieved for me every day she was alive and now I grieve every day since her passing. I am enduring a hard time in my life right now and I would love my mother to be here for her wisdom and knowledge/advice and comforting arms but that is gone now and I only have myself to blame Please know PL1963 that I am suffering for my choices, every single day, more than you will ever know Maybe n your eyes that may be justified for some of myself "centredness" and "high maintenance" But in closing, I say this, I have learnt the bitterness of lessons, and I told my story that if maybe one person takes my words to their heart they will not be full of the sadness and the heavy heart I carry still and always .
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think youve just invented a new word for the "sexual interest" profile column. " Grudging." And PL1963, I have spoken with VelvetNoir and shes a lovely person, just reminded by something in her past that will become easier with time. We all have had bad experiences to live with, mine was only last year, but I realised one day how angry and bitter Id become and that it wasnt me, in fact, Ive been told that my profile pics show a negative expression, and that was how I was for a few months. One of my friends said to me "Holding a grudge is like letting the same bee sting you to death". I hope you find that happiness again soon.
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' You story was very touching & I'm sure very truthful, but you have exposed yourself as the person I pictured. Self centred and "high maintainence", I love to hold a "grudge", but only against ppl that I've shown love and respect to, but have then crossed me. Going back to my split, my family supported my "Ex Ox" & were very judgmental of me, as was my son. I no longer associate with those people, especially my Brothers, that I "chopped out" over the yrs. I've lost all my friends and everything that was dear to me, including my son. Things are now over, ppl are beginning to find out the facts, even my son is now starting to "break ranks", the only ppl that I will think about dealing with will be my son and maybe my parents, but they will have to go a long way to regain my faith and trust, they are older and wiser than my son & knew what they were doing by playing "happy families" on Xmas day with my "Ex Ox". I'm risking exspolsion from this site for my comments, but I'm happy to cop that. I've since reviewed your profile, I'm surprised you didn't block me, and Mischevous Lad, I'm now donning the "flak jacket" again. I love a good debate, but am now intolerant of certain things in my life. My profile is "pl1963", I would welcome anybody that dislikes me to "block" me, many have in the past, some were ppl I'd never even "viewed", they merely blocked me on "face value", profile or "age". Here endth' the 2nd sermon. "Specticales, testicle's, wallet & watch" The Pardray. Grudge. Classic example right there. You have brought YOUR grudge, based around your experiences with your ex... and family, who chose her over you.... and projected that forward onto people you don't know in here. Irony. And unnecessary... if you were a bigger Man. A Man moves forwards.... not backwards.A Man embraces the potential of his future, not clinging angrily to his past. Again.... I wish you a lot of luck for your future. DG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' You story was very touching & I'm sure very truthful, but you have exposed yourself as the person I pictured. Self centred and "high maintainence", I love to hold a "grudge", but only against ppl that I've shown love and respect to, but have then crossed me. Going back to my split, my family supported my "Ex Ox" & were very judgmental of me, as was my son. I no longer associate with those people, especially my Brothers, that I "chopped out" over the yrs. I've lost all my friends and everything that was dear to me, including my son. Things are now over, ppl are beginning to find out the facts, even my son is now starting to "break ranks", the only ppl that I will think about dealing with will be my son and maybe my parents, but they will have to go a long way to regain my faith and trust, they are older and wiser than my son & knew what they were doing by playing "happy families" on Xmas day with my "Ex Ox". I'm risking exspolsion from this site for my comments, but I'm happy to cop that. I've since reviewed your profile, I'm surprised you didn't block me, and Mischevous Lad, I'm now donning the "flak jacket" again. I love a good debate, but am now intolerant of certain things in my life. My profile is "pl1963", I would welcome anybody that dislikes me to "block" me, many have in the past, some were ppl I'd never even "viewed", they merely blocked me on "face value", profile or "age". Here endth' the 2nd sermon. "Specticales, testicle's, wallet & watch" The Pardray. You do still sound really bitter and I have been there. Someone once told me on another site that I was not ready to be there because of my attitude and they were right, I wasn't ready to move on and I am saying the same thing to you. I didn't realise how terrible I sounded online to others. People don't want to hear it, they are here to get on with their own lives, not to be dragged down by other people's lives. Please don't take this as an attack as it isn't, but you shouldn't be taking your shit out on other people. It doesn't make you sound appealing to anyone so the likelihood of success on here when others read your posts is pretty slim and then it makes you feel worse being rejected. Maybe you should take a break and come back with a fresh perspective? You just called Velvet self centred and high maintenance for holding a grudge against one person then went on to say you are doing it to your whole family so what does that say about you? Go and take some time out for you xo
-
RHP User
10 years ago
No I don't hold grudges, it take to much work, just move on. and live you life happy
-
PL1963
10 years ago
Appreciate what ya sayin', but it is difficult to forget, when people that you've loved & respected all your life support your "Ox" and are judgmental, especially without knowing the fact's. My son and I are now again ms'ging , he thought I just tipped them out of my life for fun, not the case. My Ox broke an agreement & involved my family by sending "selected" e-mails to my now "ex sister in law" I've deleted her out of my life with my Bro's. I only ever wanted to finish things quickly and easily & remain on speaking terms with her for my son's sake. I offered her 45% of the house that paid for 75% of, she would have had $285K deposit and been in her own home 18mths ago, not to be. As soon as I produced evidence of a loan, I got "popped" for $200K in court. We shall never speak again, her bid to take my house & life away failed, her advisor's gave her a "hand granade", but took out the safety pin, at the reconcile meeting she put it on the table & it "blew up in her face". She lacked the fortitude to go thru with what she started, she's got her "filthy" money now, but after all is said & done, she'll be lucky to scrape up $240K deposit and from what I'm told is full of regrets and a sad woman. When I got "popped" I was supposed poop my pant's & give her $40K more than I offered, wrong again. A warning to ladies out there, be very wary of advisor's and heathen solicitor's. Here end'th sermon 4. "Spectical's, testicle's, wallet & watch" The Pardray.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
Great comments, I'm not trying to drag people down with my "shit", I'm one step ahead, I've already moved massively, my GSOH has returned, by my posts you guys may it's a bit out there, but it's there. I am a bigger Man now & much wiser, she ruined & wasted 20yrs of my life, I stayed in a shit LTR for my son. I no longer settle for mediocrity. I final word on "Grudge", to a "Sth Africaannn" "a grrruuddggge" is jjjuuusstt a plllaacccee to ppaaarrrkkk yooouurr caarrr". The legendary Tony Greig on Billy Birmingham's 12th man CD. P.L.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Agree with Koko, a brave choice to share such a personal story. A lesson for every one of us. Doing it when we feel most strongly is the hardest thing.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
Nice post, I understand were you are coming from, that is why I don't talk to my parents as yet, I don't want to say something I may regret, I'm aware that one of them may pass away today even, I said a lot of things to my son in the past, we both savaged each other both face to face & by txt, he accused me of hiding behind txt's, I went the next day faced off with my Bro's & offered a shot at "title" if they felt I had treated the "Ox" poorly, neither would throw a punch, I'm not a fighter at all, but sometimes this type of treatment turns a "man into the devil". They never took me on that day because they knew they'd end up in an ambo, I'm now done with these people. But I'm hoping to see my parents for Xmas and my son desperately wants to meet now, but we've had 1/2 doz goes at reconciling in the past, I want to take it easy now & get the next one right. The "kicker" to all this is I won't be attending any of my son or his cousins life celerbrations, she took out an AVO on me for foul language etc, I never bashed once & never will, she put my son on the AVO, he never wanted to be on there, she then took him off the AVO & has admitted it was a mistake to take it out in the 1st place. I've broken the AVO on numerous ocassions for the good of my son, he was in 5 car accidents & suicidal, she knew none of that. I msg'd her offering to txt each other purely to swap info on our son's mental health, "No appearance your Honour". P.L.
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
She didn't "waste 20 years if your life". Everyone has their reasons for those choices. But the fact remains that there are still.... choices. You CHOSE to remain in it the marriage.... even though you now say very unsavoury things about her.... and people in "face value" that you think are like her. Blaming anyone else for that choice is not moving ahead. It's very easy to repeat a mantra about not settling for mediocrity, as if that's your new warcry.... but you still can't see that by the very need which compels you to push that line for us to believe..... you're not as far down the road to a better place as you would like us, and probably you.... to think you are. If you seek greatness.... you wouldn't reference to her at all, and certainly not as negatively as you do. Ralf has a very good point I think. DG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' I've already moved massively, my GSOH has returned, by my posts you guys may it's a bit out there, but it's there. I am a bigger Man now & much wiser, she ruined & wasted 20yrs of my life, I stayed in a shit LTR for my son. I no longer settle for mediocrity. As DG said, I don't think you have moved on nearly as much as you are telling us you have. I have read a few of your posts now, and they always seem to reference the situation with your ex, in very negative terms. You are obviously still very bitter about the perceived wrongs done against you. Also, were you in a better frame of mind you would have been more likely to recognise the hypocrisy of calling someone else out for holding a grudge against a family member, when you admit to having done and still doing the same thing. I think you need more time to process your feelings of hurt and anger before you attempt to meet anyone new. In your current frame of mind you will most likely just drive people away; certainly anyone reading your forum posts would see red flags everywhere.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
The "Ox" refused to use contraception & fell pregnant "accidently on purpose", she knew within 6mths of meeting me that I didn't want kids or marriage. We were "soulmates" for the 1st 10yrs, whenever she bought up "kids" I suggested that she find someone else, she never did. There was a lot of debate prior to my son being born, deals were made about our relationship & sex life, as I've known of many women that dried up after kids. I foolishly stayed, we owned the house, she was given 3yrs off and I looked after them both, by the time my son was 5, I realised that that I'd gotten myself into a "bad thing", but I staid for my son's sake. She refused to return to work until he was 7, I bore all the financial pressure, our income had halved, I lost my company vehicle, but I soldiered on. Our relationship was turbulent, she slept naked or bare arsed for 25yrs, all of sudden the "panties" went on at nite, I left school at 15, but even I sussed that one out. Jan 22nd 2012, filthy hot nite, she comes to bed in T-shirt & Undies, I try to spoon her, she pushes me away because she's "too hot", that was the final straw, I exited her all her clothes from the bedroom. A man can only take so much after giving all he has. Reconciliation was attempted, she even returned to the bedroom for 6wks, but 1 nite, the dreaded "undies" were back on, I told her to leave the bedroom & never return. 1 nite we had a bath together, champagne, a chat, like we used to every Sunday nite, I said "you knew this was coming for 10yrs, why didn't you try to help salvage things", she looked at me with tears in her eyes & replied "I never thought you'd leave". there is no room in relationships for complacency. Here end'th sermon 5. S, T, W & W. The Pardray.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' Appreciate what ya sayin', but it is difficult to forget, when people that you've loved & respected all your life support your "Ox" and are judgmental, especially without knowing the fact's. My son and I are now again ms'ging , he thought I just tipped them out of my life for fun, not the case. My Ox broke an agreement & involved my family by sending "selected" e-mails to my now "ex sister in law" I've deleted her out of my life with my Bro's. I only ever wanted to finish things quickly and easily & remain on speaking terms with her for my son's sake. I offered her 45% of the house that paid for 75% of, she would have had $285K deposit and been in her own home 18mths ago, not to be. As soon as I produced evidence of a loan, I got "popped" for $200K in court. We shall never speak again, her bid to take my house & life away failed, her advisor's gave her a "hand granade", but took out the safety pin, at the reconcile meeting she put it on the table & it "blew up in her face". She lacked the fortitude to go thru with what she started, she's got her "filthy" money now, but after all is said & done, she'll be lucky to scrape up $240K deposit and from what I'm told is full of regrets and a sad woman. When I got "popped" I was supposed poop my pant's & give her $40K more than I offered, wrong again. A warning to ladies out there, be very wary of advisor's and heathen solicitor's. Here end'th sermon 4. "Spectical's, testicle's, wallet & watch" The Pardray. "we are living in a material world" I'm sure this has all been a traumatic experience for you but it sounds like you haven't moved on. Holding a grudge against your family is only going to hurt you not help. Good luck
-
RHP User
10 years ago
PL1963, I am concerned that the contents of your posts indicate that you are suffering from an Adjustment Disorder, and that it is florid at the moment. This may be just the way you express yourself in writing but if this is also how you express yourself verbally, I would strongly suggest firstly not engaging in this thread further as it is exacerbating your condition. I would also strongly urge you to contact a healthcare provider for treatment. There are also a number of helplines available for short term counselling (google Mensline Australia which the number for the service specific to your scenario although Beyond Blue has a number of other more general helplines). I suggest the rest of us not engage in responses which may provoke reactions, ie, I suggest we move this topic on.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PL1963' The "Ox" refused to use contraception & fell pregnant "accidently on purpose", she knew within 6mths of meeting me that I didn't want kids or marriage. We were "soulmates" for the 1st 10yrs, whenever she bought up "kids" I suggested that she find someone else, she never did. There was a lot of debate prior to my son being born, deals were made about our relationship & sex life, as I've known of many women that dried up after kids. I foolishly stayed, we owned the house, she was given 3yrs off and I looked after them both, by the time my son was 5, I realised that that I'd gotten myself into a "bad thing", but I staid for my son's sake. She refused to return to work until he was 7, I bore all the financial pressure, our income had halved, I lost my company vehicle, but I soldiered on. Our relationship was turbulent, she slept naked or bare arsed for 25yrs, all of sudden the "panties" went on at nite, I left school at 15, but even I sussed that one out. Jan 22nd 2012, filthy hot nite, she comes to bed in T-shirt & Undies, I try to spoon her, she pushes me away because she's "too hot", that was the final straw, I exited her all her clothes from the bedroom. A man can only take so much after giving all he has. Reconciliation was attempted, she even returned to the bedroom for 6wks, but 1 nite, the dreaded "undies" were back on, I told her to leave the bedroom & never return. 1 nite we had a bath together, champagne, a chat, like we used to every Sunday nite, I said "you knew this was coming for 10yrs, why didn't you try to help salvage things", she looked at me with tears in her eyes & replied "I never thought you'd leave". there is no room in relationships for complacency. Here end'th sermon 5. S, T, W & W. The Pardray. So you blame your wife of purposely getting pregnant even though you had stated you didn't want kids? Did you think that maybe it was therefore your responsibility to ensure she didn't fall pregnant, like wearing a condom or having a vasectomy (you evidently didn't want children at any stage - right)? The whole 'wearing clothes to bed' thing is also a little out there. Are you saying that just because your wife of what, 25 years as I read it, decided to start wearing clothes to bed, you not only kicked her out of the bedroom, but moved her clothes out as well? I don't know, my sympathies are with your ex-wife, seems like you wanted to control every aspect of her life! Sounds like you were more concerned with getting your dick wet when you wanted it, over any concerns over your wife or child was secondary. Mooka
-
MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Thumbs down to your last post....I read it, made rather sad. :( How I see it, unless WE are professionally trained psychologist or psychiatrist, no one has the right to "assume" or make reference to have such diagnosed disorders or take guesses to what another has posted. Perhaps a private message asking "Are you OK??" may have been much better. Foxy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If only we could turn back time.unfortunately whats done is done, know one has the right to judge anyone.Personally i don't see the point of holding a grudge.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
FL, you're correct, it was exetremly traumatic, unfortunately that is how I deal with people that let me down, everybody played "happy families" on Xmas Day & NYE knowing full well what would have happened to me if her court bid had been successful, I can't condone that. When asked my Bro if he would do the same if his son got cleaned out, he replied"that's different", only by a generation. I sat home alone on Xmas day, that won't happen again and I organised something for NYE as I knew what was going to happen. My young Bro rang me & said best I not come down NYE a said "I'll take a couple of days off soon & we'll go sailing". When I discussed this recently with him, I said she should have been the one goin' sailing. They "WERE" my family. SN2, you're a very diligent man, I've suffered depression for 19yrs, bought on a result of having a "child". When you have child that you never wanted, the effect can be the same as when ppl can't have children. I've had 3 nervous breakdowns over the yrs, lost jobs and a lot of money by being out of work. My son is a great kid, people have remarked how well mannered he is, he is excelling as an apprentice plumber & wouldn't give him away for anything. I have had many forms of mental health treatment over the yrs, my Dr is exetremly happy with how I've coped with all this. You see she blamed our relationship on my depression, after the birth of my son, I noticed she'd not been taking "the pill", she was goin' for a 2nd shot. Mooka, I think you've read me wrong, the parenthood of my son is still open to conjecture, the DNA test will prove that. I asked a psyhcologist why I never had a vasectomy, she answered "you had your soulmate and I guess you didn't want her to walk out", I guess we all make mistakes. Mooka, I thought you would have read btwn the lines & realised that "undies on meant" no sex, for up to a mth at a time, I find that not to be the norm, especially btwn 2 fit mid 40's ppl. Your final paragraph is all wrong, I took a woman that came from a family of spendthrifts & taught her how to work hard save money and have a future, when we paid the house off when I was 30, she was the 1st person in her family history to ever own their home, do you think that happened by mistake? I never controlled her, she always turned to me to help her and back up, she once told me how much she loved me & that I was the best motivator ever, I supported her while lost 20kgs & did volauntry work to get the job she know has in DOE acc's that she still has now. She had 7yrs off after the birth of our son, some women don't get 7wks off. Prior too our split she wanted a car, I found the car, she then wanted me to do the deal, I forced her to negotiate the deal herself, she had cash to buy it, but insisted on borrowing the money, I lent her the cash & worked out a payment plan for her, she paid me back $13K in 12mths, I was preparing her for life without me. That's why she turned on me, things ain't so easy anymore. I fear by now you're all a bit over my "life", but I thank you all for your input, it has actually been theraputic to put it on paper. Now that I've let the "cat out of the bag" re my depression, no woman will come within 50km's of me. But "ya get that". The "flak jacket" has a lot of holes in it now, but like Ned Kelly, I'm still alive and put up a good fight, as he said at Glenrowan when his Bro & best mate were dead, "So it's come ta dis", he rode to Melb goal in a horse drawn carriage, suffered beatings, but still lived, he survived to stand up & be "hung", he'd defended the rape of his mother & sister by the Troops & stood tall. Have a great nite "ya'all", I know I will. Cheers P.L.'
-
PL1963
10 years ago
It's all good, thx for the thought, as I've just written Sn2 was on the "money", I think have may be a professional, have suffered depression, or been very close to someone that has, It's the only way you know the sign's. I've posted it before on here, a mate of mine burn't himself to death in a car @ 63yrs old, his wife had just recovered from cancer, no money problems, the job of his life restoring old cars, 1st granchild on the way. I sensed something was wrong, 3wks prior to his death I txt him & specifically asked him "if he was Ok" the spotlight had been on his wife for 12mths, they were soulmates, he'd struggled with nearly losing her, she & his best mate of 42yrs never saw the signs. Unfortunately, he txt me back that he was "Ok", when I got a call about him, I fell apart, I saw my G.P. who is an expert in mental health and has guided me for 19yrs, he said "your mate was unreachable", mature suicide is as bigger problem as youth, the young dude's aren't usually afraid to seek help or talk, older ppl just shutdown. That is why I write the things I do, my mate gave up drinking 15yrs prior to his death, I think it was the one thing that helped him, he wasn't an alcoholic, his mum was Ill & worried that he couldn't help her if he was pissed, she was at his funeral, I wish he was still here now to have a "drink" with. P.L.
-
PL1963
10 years ago
It's a song by Cher, she was on a Naval Ship & was definately waxed for the film clip, jesus wept! Her& Sonny were soulmates, but he was a drunken drug addict that beat her up, go figure, he was much shorter, she should have polverised him, she finally walked away. Sorry to be a Grama Natzi, but your english is not gooder. Cheers P.L.
-
tamworthguy46
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' I think youve just invented a new word for the "sexual interest" profile column. " Grudging." And PL1963, I have spoken with VelvetNoir and shes a lovely person, just reminded by something in her past that will become easier with time. We all have had bad experiences to live with, mine was only last year, but I realised one day how angry and bitter Id become and that it wasnt me, in fact, Ive been told that my profile pics show a negative expression, and that was how I was for a few months. One of my friends said to me "Holding a grudge is like letting the same bee sting you to death". I hope you find that happiness again soon. Yeah Koko, Maybe it could be a new word lol.........Grudging ...eg...sexual payment or release of a Grudge ?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
IM TOO LAZY TO HOLD A GRUDGE.......... BUT I DO REMEMBER FACTS
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for the info
-
RHP User
10 years ago
As I grow older I have learnt to let go knowing that Karma takes care of things in its own time.I have witnessed this first hand on many occasions however I do not linger on it.It surves as a reminder that things work circles what goes around comes around and to mindful of this.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'tamworthguy46' Maybe it could be a new word lol.........Grudging ...eg...sexual payment or release of a Grudge ? If you had a grudge, would you hold it against me?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Your mother knew that you loved her and I am sure she understood why you were angry. She may have pined for you but she new that you needed some time. It is so unfortunate that she passed away before you could reconcile but I am sure she wouldn't want you to beat yourself up about it for the rest of your life. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. ((Big hugs to you))
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I rejoined today, after a few weeks in hospital and some recovery... I found my account was gone and had to rename myself because my original name wouldn't work... (Openly1)... It is hard being a 'Newbie', as ralf has said... I upset a person or two... not meaning to... Well, I actually made an arse of myself, but as has also been pointed out, it was me trying to 'fit in' and be part of things... I wasn't going to rejoin at all... I actually looked to see what had been happening on the site when I found I couldn't log in, so I decided to rejoin and give it another go, as I made a couple of good friends and some really nice acquaintances last time. My picture is the same as last time, lest it be thought I was trying to 'hide' with another name, but I've never been one for not taking responsibility for things I do wrong... So, here I am AGAIN... same pic, same person, different name. On the subject... No, I don't hold grudges and I personally think that the feeling of 'dislike' you get when you harbour ill feeling is awful and I hate it...
-
PL1963
10 years ago
I once saw an interview with Peter Garrett from Midnight Oil/now labour M.P., he wen't thru the same thing, his Dad passed when he was 20, they had locked horns, as most fathers & sons do, he never got to tell his Dad that he loved him, I went thru the same with my Dad @ 20yrs old, I hugged him at @ 75yrs old, he was shocked, but I wasn't, that is 1 thing my son & our dog "Bosun" (R.I.P) taught me was "love", every nite, I kissed my son "good nite & don't let the bed bug's bite", I still let him know when he "fucked up", but my love is undying. My Mum helped guide me thru the last 2yrs, she knew all the fact's about what was happenin', we drank & chatted on the phone till late into the nite often, she tried to defend the "Ox", but in the end Dad called the shot's & he always loved the "Golden Girl", Mum & I now miss each other desperately, but I was betrayed, I don't ring them as I'm scared I may say something to Mum I may regret. I just wish that Mum may have stood up to him for me, but not so, she told me that the "OX' wanted to "work in on Xmas Day etc", I tolerated none of that & never will. I stay in touch with my folks by e-mail, they know I will back them up any time, last bushfire season, I smelt smoke from the NTH, I rang Mum, Dad was asleep, I instructed her to go out the back & tell me what she could see & smell, I guided her through that nite & would have been there in a shot. P.L.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Your mother still lives in your heart,nothing can change that. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves,your mother loved you,she wanted the very best for you.As a mother of a daughter just a few years younger than you ,I want to say,we can't live our children's lives,we can't make decisions for them,we can give advice,help and support them,but ultimately,it's their choice,their decision.Whether your choice was right or wrong,it was yours to make.Make peace with yourself Violet,your mother wanted you to be happy,be happy for her sake as well as yours,hugs xQ
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I held a grudge and was quite damaged emotionally regarding the father of my child,for over fifteen years. One day I realised that I was still allowing him to hurt me even though we hadn't had much contact in all that time.Revisiting old hurts,old wounds,just keeps us in that place of hurt and pain....forgive,your ex,forgive your father,mother,brothers and your son.Not for their sales but for yours.This will be the most healing and liberating thing you can do for you.And remember the saying,living well,being happy,is ultimately the best revenge....Just one more thing,money can always come back to you,but as Violet pointed out,sometimes people don't. xQ
-
Seachange
10 years ago
I read your post and it touched me. Thanks for sharing. I have a similar experience with my Father. We had a falling out regarding his treatment of my mom and his neglecting us children for the company of his mates. I was the only one in the family that stood up to him and ready to face up to his wrath, regardless of consequences. I was disappointed in my older brothers who just stood back and took all the crap from him. I told him to get out of our lives as all he did was to make it miserable and he disrespected us and never loved us. I never thought I had the courage to hurt him back. To my surprise, he went back home to the US and never came back to Australia. My older brothers were more bonded to him and missed him terribly. Considering how badly he treated and emasculated my brothers, they forgave him and contacted him again. I was more outraged and waited for him to contact me and beg for forgiveness. it never came. We stopped talking. Then he had lung cancer and was dying. he did not tell us it was this bad and instructed his sisters and brothers not to share the full state of his health. My brothers took time from work (they suspected) and made the flight home to pay their last respects. I was tied up in a bank project I was leading that meant a big career boost for me and we were at a very critical path of success, which depended on me. Yes, I was young (early 20s), ambitious and selfish. And self-centred. I just needed 2 weeks to handover and complete the milestone and I can pop over to the US to see my sick father. Apparently, he was at the brink of death before he heard my brothers coming. His demeanor changed and he seemed to have gotten a second lease on life. he sat up everyday, waiting for us to arrive. He asked the nurses to brush his hair despite the fact he was balding, and make the beds with clean sheets very early in the morn just in case we arrived early and he can be at his best, albeit tubes sticking out of him. he was sad I didnt make it but he told my brother that he loved me and of all his children, I was very much like him and how can he hate that. His way of saying sorry to me. A couple of days after my brothers got there, he died. To his last breath, he told my brothers to do the right thing to their families and never be a stubborn mule like him as the loneliness is such a bitter pill. He died with a smile on his face holding my brothers hands as he knows he was not alone afterall. He never held a grudge at me, but I did with him. My biggest regret is that I never said how angry I was. How stupid I was. How sorry I was. How much I loved him. And to hold his hand goodbye to wherever he was going. To this day, I hope he knew I loved him in ,my own stubborn way. A big lesson learnt for me. Albeit too late. So grudges, yes I do hold some but never to those people I love and care for. Never again. I dont think my heart can handle another break as such. Hugs to you.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think we get it you have dirty laundry Don't throw it at people you don't know, if you have something to gripe about create your own post instead of slamming others man your depressing move on see a counsellor
-
Circe
10 years ago
There's a saying that holding on to a grudge is like swallowing poison and expecting someone else to die. Get yourself over it- for you.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
@ Ms Meeka, thankyou for your kind words and lovely big hug. Ah yes hindsight, you are so very right @ Madame Qefenta, you are a very kind and wise woman, thank you for your motherly and wise words @ Ms lilyorchid, I feel and empathise and know your pain well. I hope now with enough of time you have come to work through your anger and are now at peace -like me-with what life gave to us My story is one of great shame and even now I hurt from this . I miss my mother oh so very very much, but if I learn a lesson from this, not carry anger in my heart again against anyone, then I know she will be proud of me again. Thank you you lovely ladies.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
If i had a grudge could i hold it against you ? Sorry, couldn't resist being a bit stupid, lol In response to the OP, i don't tend to hold grudges, it's a very negative thing and that is something i'm trying to eliminate from my life as best i can
-
Seachange
10 years ago
Now that I had proper read of the thread with your comments, I feel for you but also couldn't help to notice that you are still very bitter and lonely. I also sense you feel being abandoned and rejected by the people you trust the most and that has obviously a profound impact on you, your outlook and dealing with people. Certainly a big trust issue there. Your constant reference to your ex as 'the OX' does not say much about you moving on but rather your current state. Far from moving forward. I feel you are in a very vulnerable and fragile situation and there is an undercurrent of anger there just that is quiite scary. It feels that you could break any moment and even take your anger out on other people. This online dating site is full of people who can hurt your feelings very easily and rejection could trigger something that may be beyond your control. This site can be brutal for someone so fragile. You may be lonely but getting hurt here could even add salt to your injury and not worth the pain and humiliation. Take some time off. Look after your mental and emotional wellbeing. I believe RHP is NOT the place for you for now as some people can be callous in their behaviour and unforgiving. Surround yourself with good people who will listen to you. Seek professional help, join support groups and reconnect with long lost good friends. Be kind to yourself and understand that time can heal your soul but you need to be in an environment that will allow you to heal and piece the broken pieces of your heart. Start the healing with small steps, some behaviour changes, so you wont be overwhelmed.This could start by not referring to your ex as the derogatory term 'the OX'. I wish you the best of health and happiness. Sometimes, it is best to move away from the heat when you are already on fire.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Bahahahaha I wanna grudge one out on ya :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Missb4u
10 years ago
I hold an awesome grudge 😄 You cross me or hurt me and I will never forget and very very rarely forgive. After all revenge is a dish best served cold 😜😎 But I don't get offended by people's comments or posts or opinions. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Seachange
10 years ago
Quoting 'VelvetNoir' @ Ms Meeka, thankyou for your kind words and lovely big hug. Ah yes hindsight, you are so very right @ Madame Qefenta, you are a very kind and wise woman, thank you for your motherly and wise words @ Ms lilyorchid, I feel and empathise and know your pain well. I hope now with enough of time you have come to work through your anger and are now at peace -like me-with what life gave to us My story is one of great shame and even now I hurt from this . I miss my mother oh so very very much, but if I learn a lesson from this, not carry anger in my heart again against anyone, then I know she will be proud of me again. Thank you you lovely ladies. Yes, Velvet. The saying that time heals is true. It has taken me lots of work - self-help and some counselling to address my childish ways, my guilt resulting to lots of growing up. Something as significant, good or bad, if worked on, is an opportunity for growth, evolution and clarity of purpose in life. My priorities have changed and having children certainly makes a big difference. I keep in touch with my kids when I am away on work trips, and everyday they are with me, I spoil them with my cooking, hugs and my attention. Never will they go away doubting that I love them more than anything in this world and that I am always there for them to run to when the going gets rough or just wanting a little cuddle. Live and learn I suppose.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share