M46
Guys not climaxing?
November 13 2014
Comments
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inspirit
10 years ago
If it is a problem, then it is his. Not mine Climaxing is not everything.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Mate, please yourself. Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
HP... something troubling you tonight petal?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have come across this a bit actually........ maybe it is more prevalent in older gentleman and men that go to swingers clubs and parties? Anyway, when I was more naive, not that long ago, I probably would have taken it personally and would start to worry that maybe a man that rarely comes when he is with me is not that into me. Or maybe I am bad in bed, etc. But this was just lack of awareness, so now that I am older and wiser I realise that there are all sorts of reasons behind it why someone may not come easily or often and that it doesn't mean that they are not enjoying the sex. So, my advice would be to tell the lady you are with that you find it difficult to come sometimes and it is a common thing for you. you don't have to give her a reason why, but just telling her that may ease her mind a lot. Especially if you like her and want things to continue. Mind you, when you are with a bloke who doesn't come that often........ when he does. Va va voom!!! Come on my tits bebe.
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Most of us like a man who is a ' stayer' but I like 'seeing the effect' I have on him and I like cum. But I'm with inspirit, it's not everything 😘 Mary xx. Now HP, because you're worth it, I'm ignoring that post 😊 mwah Mary xx
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Personally for me, I love a man to cum, because I like to please. (it's one of my things) I want to know he's just as excited as me, I want to have him at that point where that's what happens, I want to watch his face as he does, I want to feel him cum and to hear him cum...💋 OMG HP, hating on us women today, are you? Because we're not worth it..... apparently....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's always about me. I should always cum first...second, third,....and last ;P - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Situation with a couple of FWB Either only able to cum once in 24 hours at times or not at all It used to evoke feelings of inadequacy at first but I since realise if it were me then they wouldn't keep coming back for more As much as I love to make a man cum I've also learnt it's not the be all end all , we still share the closeness and intimacy Like you op they seem to be more attentive in pleasing me which I won't complain about ....... Because HP... Dam right I'm worth it ;p - Posted from rhpmobile
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Missb4u
10 years ago
can you make yourself cum by masterbating? so you don't climax at all or you don't cum? I do love cum and I love to please but having a partner that can keeping doing would definitely have its advantages. I think as long as you were comfortable and enjoyed the experience that's what matters most. If you can finish by taking yourself in hand however then that's a hot thing to watch, there's few things sexier than watching a man stroking his cock and filling my mouth or covering me with his cum. great profile btw and welcome to the forums 😀
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lovinit... Poor bloke needs to take ownership of his own pleasure... It's a good and nice thing to please others... But you are responsible for your own pleasure. Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Tantrics work quite hard to develop the ability to not cum :) They generally achieve it through three things - mindset, deep slow rhythmic breathing and removing all of the muscle tension people usually use to bring on cumming. It might be worth learning a little bit more about that to see if it relates to what's happening with you at all. I had a partner once who would very rarely cum with prev partners or when masturbating. He came all the time with me and I put it down simply to the fun, intense, loving connection. We didn't do anything sexually special, we just clicked. It didn't help me cum though and I'm pretty sure that was (is) because I have a great deal of trouble truly relaxing. I do really believe that mindset, breathing and body tension have a lot to do with how and when we cum. I love it when a man cums. But mostly I love it when he's happy :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Fuck them, is all I seen......because I am defiantly worth it....💋 Jayjay always love it when you pop in with your words of wisdom, such a beautiful woman inside and out.....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
Don't feel like you have to answer personal questions just because people here are ask you, and also those people that are saying you have to take ownership of your own pleasure. Don't listen to them. ⊂(◉‿◉)つ There are all sorts of mental and physical reasons why people may not come easily. Possibly being abused as a child or other traumas have a big impact. In all seriousness if you are with the right person they will understand but like I said make sure you let them know it isn't their fault. We are sensitive creatures sometimes... Women that is. :) Good luck. xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
it depends on the situation. I knew a man who didn't climax and he had a hard time when masturbating too. For me it was ok....but then sometimes you just want to hear them "cum" I felt more sorry for him then me. He was a wonderful lover, kisser and cuddler. He never said what was inside his head.....he was such a good looking male and still had trouble being freely naked. I believe there must have been something in his past which happened to him as a child or young man.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Stop watching porn..... and be PRESENT and fully immersed with the woman you're with, instead of an observer infront of a computer screen. Too many guys have trained themselves though porn and masturbation, to be an observer and not a participant. So when opportunity presents with a woman, they either come too fast because theyve trained themselves to go for release as their goal, or, they dont know how to respond with flesh and blood. On with the fun.... with living breathing humans. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'tulips4u' It's always about me. I should always cum first...second, third,....and last ;P - Posted from rhpmobile lol...tulip's....knots
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sex must be shared , mutually satisfied its not a competition !! And if it is a race , its not all about winning ! But i dont play the game to cum second !!!!!!!!:-p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I wouldn't worry too much. Iv'e had my moments when it just wasn't going to happen too. Not that the ladies in question were not sexy , on the contrary. It was just that ' at that time , my mechanics didn't want to come to the party. The thing I don't like ' is trying to explain to the lady it was just one of them things and not her. I hate to see thinking it was them . I was once with the most beautiful sexy naked woman on the planet, and guess what . ? I lost my boner half way through . Yep ' gone.. However ' I told her I'd make up for it and thankfully I did . But must admit I went through the " what if that happens again " the mind does play games if we put ourself under pressure So....... bottom line is , the next time it' might be the lady who can't cum, that's life and just the way things go..
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RHP User
10 years ago
and it was incredibly frustrating for him. Same as Litonya, this guy had trouble when masturbating also and was definitely his problem. Also spoke with another recently that told me he does not cum at all. My preference is for a guy to release or at least orgasm but I don't cum nearly any time I have sex either.
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RHP User
10 years ago
In essence, yes, we are responsible for managing our own feelings, communicating and expressing them and ultimately our own pleasure. And as already stated by JayJay, having this issue has made me compensate in other ways. It's a bit like a blind person has to improve their other senses to compensate for not hearing. And no matter how much a woman says she likes it hard and fast, I've found slowing it down, sensual kissing, caressing and deliberate tender actions as you read your partner's body language exploring further only when open and ready gets sensations running through her that in some cases I've had mistaken for love. And this is all before I've taken my pants off. The issue is that in reciprocation I find that spreading your legs and letting him pound away, or just stroking away with your hand is all that is deemed necessary to make him climax. I'm just wondering if I've just met the wrong women? Or that this is all about the man taking charge and dominating and is his issue if he can't climax?
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RHP User
10 years ago
But wouldnt let him go without him cumming :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
10 years ago
I would go along with what you said Miss B. Can you cum from masturbation but not sex? Its well documented that some guys masturbate in a way that desensitizes them to the softer sensations of what a mouth, vag, anal feels like. http://www.curedeathgrip.com/index.html I also find it funny that guys sometimes don't take a leaf out of women's books in that 75% therebouts of women can not cum from penetration alone but also need direct clit stim to cum and have no qualms about finishing the job themselves if they need to or using toys, Hitachi etc. Yet if a guy doesn't come and needs to finish himself off there it is often seen as a sex failure or somehow is less of a man in his own mind. Just saying. Cheers, W.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
OF_78 can you please explain what you mean by "climaxing"... I'm a little confused. If you find it difficult to reach that moment to cum, then to me you are not not there with these women. Is it 100% full filling YOU?? Then you say "Though I tend to find I deflect this issue by giving and pampering you to climax." Let me get this right......you deflect/dismiss your issue, then give/pamper to the woman?? errrrrrr something does not add up to me. Do you feel obligated to a woman, because you are not quite there to come?? Do you feel you have to reach the climax and cum with every woman?? Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I'm not sure what others think "Climaxing" is...for me it mean the lead up to cumming, other words the increase of reaching to the point of great euphoria - the result of climaxing is to get to the point one reaches ejaculation or pleasurable orgasms. I'm under the impression - don't quote me here- climaxing can be controlled. Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
That is a sweeping statement. How do you know? You must have slept with lots of men to be so knowledgeable about their cumming habits. ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Why you are confused by what OP has said ?? It's quite clear as far as I read Nor why you seem to insinuate that because he can't cum he is not there 100% Are you not aware of all the physical and psychological reasons that can be a cause??? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
But even though you refer to you not climaxing as "the issue", is that because it bugs you that you can't climax or because you feel it may bug the person you are with? As for me, I don't need to have an orgasm to make sex great, and I certainly would not pressure anyone else into having one. If a man tells me he enjoys sex just as much without coming, I will take his word for it.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I'm fully aware of "physical and psychological reasons". :) Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have twice in my life had a blow race, once with a girl friend and once with a swinging lady friend. I won both times, though the girls could have cheated by faking it, I would not have known, but I think got them of guard because I was so quick. They thought a guy had to get hard first, giggles. So what has that to do with not blowing, nothing really. I think most posters have hit the nail on the head. If you are letting it get to you, you are only doing your self a disservice. For some men cumming is all they are interested in, then its bye and thanks for all the fish (though the thanks is optional for some), that will not get many repeat performances requests. If you are like me sex is about intimacy and I like loooong sessions. I used to be able to cum many times, now I hold back, and from time to time I get to a point where I know its not going to happen, does not mean she/he/them have failed, no, nor have I. If it is still important, do some research, read up and learn there is plenty of advice and information on mankind's favorite preoccupation.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' Why you are confused by what OP has said ?? It's quite clear as far as I read Nor why you seem to insinuate that because he can't cum he is not there 100% Are you not aware of all the physical and psychological reasons that can be a cause??? - Posted from rhpmobile I agree JayJay, that is why he needs to explain it to women because some just don't get it at all.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That you have had bad sexual experiences.this can impact on future sexual experiences indeed..and who knows to what degree.IMO you need to find someone that you can be intimate with ...Of course women often have a lot of pressure put on them to orgasm...That's why we sometimes fake it..and as Burning Love has mentioned,Tantric practitioners delay orgasm sometimes for very long periods of time...It's all about the conection physical.emotional and spiritual....XxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' The issue is that in reciprocation I find that spreading your legs and letting him pound away, or just stroking away with your hand is all that is deemed necessary to make him climax. I'm just wondering if I've just met the wrong women? Or that this is all about the man taking charge and dominating and is his issue if he can't climax? Maybe you have just met the wrong women, but do you communicate what you feel you want or need in order to reach climax? If a woman is just lying back with her legs open or pumping away with her hand and the results are unsuccessful, do you tell them what you want instead? Do you know what you want instead? Most people almost only ever do what has worked for them before, until someone tells them differently...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have no trouble cumming with my own hands but usually takes me ages to reach orgasm during sex, and I used to fake it a lot with randoms 😑 But since meeting someone I share a deep connection with, I feel unhurried and unrushed to cum, and my orgasms cum naturally, so to speak 😄 And he does let me cum first, second, third,...,and last....most of the time 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
As I have got older, I have found that, if I have sex for too long a period, I lose sensitivity, and sometimes don't cum...but I think partly, this happens more often because, if I'm having a hell good time I don't want it to finish....so I'm my own worst enemy! ...and I actually don't mind much if I don't cum ( probably could have filled an Olympic size swimming pool throughout my youth, so had a pretty good run!). I think as I have got older, I came to realise I enjoy the 'act more than the end' most of the time. In 99 percent of the case where I haven't cum, I would hope that my partner felt special ( because I didn't want it to end)....coming clean though (excuse the pun), maybe the other 1 percent I was drunk :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
if both parties cant give each other pleasure, the other person is selfish and not worth being with
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Get a through medical exam, IF it's bothering you OP. Foxy
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I'm interested that you make a link in your sentence - that you have had some bad experiences and find it difficult to climax sometimes. Are you implying there is psychological reasons? If so, a counsellor should be able to help you with this. I've had a lover who rarely climaxed. We would talk about it, I would make sure I was hitting all the right notes for him and if he was happy then I was happy (not sure I like the word 'tricks' though OP). They have all said (and shown physically) that they were very aroused and they loved the time we spent together. So I learnt to trust he knew what was right for him and if he wasn't concerned it would be silly for me to be. As already mentioned, women don't always climax. Staggeringly obtuse for us to think men have to be different.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
thorough medical exam by doctor. Foxy
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I got my he & they confuzzled.... Note to self... don't post on a Friday night drinks night
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RHP User
10 years ago
Are you being delibetately obtuse or really just don't get it..It I'd attitudes like this from women that the OP is struggling with.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Hey mate flicking thru thread quickly seems lots of assumptions. Has anyone asked is this indeed a medical issue? No doubt you have spoken to your GP? If it is then bloody good on you for having the "balls" to publicly ask the question.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
**** MsFox clearly Ive flicked past ur post on same - great minds ! ****
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RHP User
10 years ago
Which I'm not....cos I do honestly feel your frustration and that feeling of "what on earth is wrong with me??" But....I'm curious... Have you removed the plastic protector from your cock??? Lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
it is the flow of energy that is the fun ride .......you can experience many waves of body tingling energy without "climaxing" Ejaculation and orgasm are two different things. It is just most men have not learnt this so for them it happens together.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Hey mate we should acknowledge that 15 lines of text in the OP gives us the smallest windown in the issue.... Did the bad experiences in not cumming happen a CUPCAKE party? Had you already provided numerous strenuous feats of courage in satisfying the rest of the party and the bad experiences we the unlucky last two sexy hot ladies?....Don't worry mate we know the feeling....I mean dearie a man can only endeavour to reach double digits in one event - right?.....
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RHP User
10 years ago
jeez Indy, I just snorted Coke Zero through my nose! I'm still curious though, OP: If it was completely natural to the women you are with that you don't always climax, would it still be an issue for you?
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On_Safari
10 years ago
Is BAAAAAD for you Meander and sticky too 😳.....lol oopsies! xx Patrone anyone? 😘
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Stop watching porn..... and be PRESENT and fully immersed with the woman you're with, instead of an observer infront of a computer screen. Too many guys have trained themselves though porn and masturbation, to be an observer and not a participant. So when opportunity presents with a woman, they either come too fast because theyve trained themselves to go for release as their goal, or, they dont know how to respond with flesh and blood. On with the fun.... with living breathing humans. DG Mate clearly you are a very mindful present aware individual. However is it not the case that women too suffer similarly? I am aware that plenty of ladies suffer excessive addictions to masturbation with high frequency toys....This "conditioning" makes it more difficult for them to climax from non clitoral stimulation. I say suffer because to me its all in the learned behaviour and desensitising critical erogenous zones....seeking the ultimate pleasure sometimes has it costs.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Quoting 'SensualAries' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Stop watching porn..... and be PRESENT and fully immersed with the woman you're with, instead of an observer infront of a computer screen. Too many guys have trained themselves though porn and masturbation, to be an observer and not a participant. So when opportunity presents with a woman, they either come too fast because theyve trained themselves to go for release as their goal, or, they dont know how to respond with flesh and blood. On with the fun.... with living breathing humans. DG Mate clearly you are a very mindful present aware individual. However is it not the case that women too suffer similarly? I am aware that plenty of ladies suffer excessive addictions to masturbation with high frequency toys....This "conditioning" makes it more difficult for them to climax from non clitoral stimulation. I say suffer because to me its all in the learned behaviour and desensitising critical erogenous zones....seeking the ultimate pleasure sometimes has it costs ** FOR BOTH SEXES
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RHP User
10 years ago
... are sticky and can be bad for you. Add Coke Zero to the list. Sure, Indy why not? Make that two. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
In my experience women find it odd at first that you can last longer etc, they then enjoy it, but when you dont after several plays ( by choice) ...they dont say anything but it becomes a bit of an obsession they have felt that its their fault or that they arent turning you on...clearly if you have got a buldging hard on you are turned on but it seems if you dont orgasm its a failed attempt at sex...personally I can control whe I cum and sometimes holding back or not orgasming at all is fine for me because I am enjoyimg the moment and the emphasis is on her....try explaining it in a different context...that its not because you cant but its because you dont feel the need to because you are enjoying the moment...hope this helps - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Personally, I don't want to cum every time I have sex. I am often more interested in getting my partner off and pleasing them than to worry about myself. However, sometimes I am perhaps just too exhausted, or dehydrated which can make it difficult to cum. It is not always important though, sex is still enjoyable and feels great regardless. I just enjoy it more when my partner cums, than when I do.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Firstly, I believe that every guy either has or will go through sometime where they can't cum/climx (because it is possible to climax without ejaculation). Medications will sometimes do it. I had to take medication for a while and a side effect was to, as much as I wanted, I could not reach that just tipping over the edge climax. Not through sex or masturbation. You said you had some bad sexual experience/s. These can be in the sub concious may need talking through with a professional. Or there may be a medical reason (or combination of both). Talk to your Doctor about it. Pre-conditioning of masturbation can be a factor from my own experience. I can desensitise you or condition you to thinks a particular way. I had to change the way I wanked. Lastly, men get criticised from cumming to quick or not being attentive to women's needs, etc. Are you concentrating on being a good lover to that point that you are disregarding your own desires? That said, I have had times where I have been so satisfied by pleasing someone that I have not wanted to cum..... there pleasure was enough for me.
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inspirit
10 years ago
What is with al this touchy feely shit anyway. Just have sex and enjoy it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Brother I've missed you:-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks all for the input so far. To aid discussion let me clear up a few things. Physically: I've been fully checked out by GP doing various examinations that have all come back very healthy. I'm also 6 foot 6, eat a very healthy diet and go to the gym regularly having a great body, think fireman calendar - and more than one lady has commented that I'm "huge". Intellectually: I'm quite smart and work a very intellectual job. And to give you an idea, Google has head hunted me twice. Emotionally: I'm what you can consider a highly sensitive person. While this gives me an ability to read most people like books, I've also had experiences that have led to conditions I've worked through. And yes some top leading psychs respect the strength of my character to overcome these issues. I've realised these things happened to me but do not define me. I guess I'm as healthy and understanding as what could considered "normal". Possibly I just have not met the "right" women. But to give an analogy for sex. Sex I find is like a very raw and open conversation. Rather than using words, body language, touch, taste, smell, etc and all your senses are used in expressing your feelings to another person. So to take a conversation analogy, if you're making jokes but not finding the other person is laughing you can feel there is no connection with this person. So if after lots of sex, the guy has not climaxed, would it errode the connection you might feel with him?
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RHP User
10 years ago
And while there are some arm chair psychologists trying to find fault in me, I'm asking the question of you ladies.... you've been with a guy a couple of times, he's communicated reasons why he has not climaxed with you (and yes I'm very aware ejaculation and climax are actually separate things), putting yourself in this situation how would you feel after sex many times and him not climaxing?
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Quoting 'SensualAries' Mate clearly you are a very mindful present aware individual. However is it not the case that women too suffer similarly? Yes.... I've mentioned the phenomenon of "clitoral dependancy" several times in here..... with some interesting, and some predictable responses. We train ourselves in more ways than we'd like to admit.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Does anybody cum and become ecstatic---I do but only when I carry out a certain sexual practice----It is something--I look like I am having a heart attack but with a huge smile on my face--continuing often for 5 minutes---really mind blowing. I wud be interested if there others and their descriptions of the experiences from their point of view
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RHP User
10 years ago
I enjoy the sexual communion and climax is no longed essential. I am now just as happy to enjoy hours of intimate sensuality/dirtiness to feeling the need to Persue the big O. - Posted from rhpmobile
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KISSINGwCOLOGNE
10 years ago
I maybe a little out of sync with most guys in this one, but if I have a great connection with my lover I want to go all night without cumming. If i satisfy my lover with multiple orgasms without cumming myself I am still satisfied I have spent hours with various lovers and had a great time without cumming as it allows me to remain erect for the whole time. (Without drugs if that's what you were thinking) To me it is about enjoying the journey because in most cases the destination means the journey has ended. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I always cum first and over n over again!!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Like most men there have been times when 3 strokes was 1 stroke too much, but put the extra thick condom on and there is only a couple of positions that will make me fire. I've always been a big supporter of safe sex for that very reason.The biggest complaint I hear from women in my age bracket is men of middle age not getting it up, not that they don't climax. The major problem being that by the time the guy has had enough alcohol to get brave enough to ask them to bed he can't keep awake once they get there. I caught up with a lady friend of mine at a concert on a Wed night, I mean really who goes out on a Wed night ?? We went back to her place after the show, it was late, we were tired, we had sex, she came, I didn't and we fell asleep in each others arms. In the morning when we woke she spooned into my morning erection. This time I came she didn't, I think that was a fair trade ??
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RHP User
10 years ago
Apart from the questions above as to why the OP is experiencing this and whether it can be "cured", I sit in the school of commenters who say just go with it. Embrace your prolonged erection and learn to live with not having to reach an exclamation mark at the end of each exercise. I have found that as I have aged, the first release is as per normal but it takes a long time before the second one arrives, if at all. And I mean a long. long time. I learned to become less focused on the conclusion and more on what I was doing at the start and in the middle. To be honest, a number of women were a little perplexed by the delay, and queried whether I wasn't into them. I had to assure them of my bona fides and pointed to the objective evidence of their ability to arouse me. I found that when we had a repeat session, they got used to the state of affairs and were quite happy to ride that feeling. There is a great personal pleasure to be had by observing the effect you have on others, not just your own physical sensations. You can control the tempo and the style. If you apply your mind to look at the bigger picture, you can see this as the opportunity it is, and not a cause for consternation.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' What is with al this touchy feely shit anyway. Just have sex and enjoy it. - Posted from rhpmobile Hahahaha sooo funny inspirit ..... and if you don't cum at first, try and try again !!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Who knows, It's a mystery that. By the way awesome new picture. Looking good! Looking real good.
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Kattss
10 years ago
As long as you let her know... That its common for you and you enjoy it... Then you she can stop worrying that she's doing something wrong and both enjoy the ride 😉
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' What is with al this touchy feely shit anyway. Just have sex and enjoy it. - Posted from rhpmobile ...don't think!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Stop being so mean to foxxy.... It's clearly been a long time between drinks :p Hahaha - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
That this occurs with, each have told me in the beginning. Since I have no expectations of any type of outcome (theirs or mine) it's something that has never bothered me. Personally, I think of it as an advantage to some as the give and take is always fun when extended.
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inspirit
10 years ago
I am seriously not in the in crowd. OP.........every one is different. SOME woman need that gratification that they made you come otherwise they feel worthless. If that seems to bother you then you need to talk or heaven forbid - fake an orgasm. (It does have it merits and before the forum moral police jump down my throat - errr F Off) Bad experiences? Find a woman who can bring you through those whereby you feel SAFE and put them behind you or on the other hand realise you are a good lover and get over your own insecurities. YOU are never going to please everyone. As for too much porn from other posters........sure it can desensitiise you - though I do not think this OP has that issue. Now move a long children and lets get back to the programme Post your Comment
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78'So to take a conversation analogy, if you're making jokes but not finding the other person is laughing you can feel there is no connection with this person. I don't think I get your analogy. If a man didn't laugh at my jokes because he didn't find them remotely funny, yes, then there wouldn't be a connection between us for long. However if he did really like my sense of humour, but perhaps a medical or emotional issue prevented him from physically laughing out loud, I would have have no problem with that. (As long as he told me every now and then I'm hilarious. Like Meeka said, we can be sensitive creatures.) ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' I'm asking the question of you ladies.... you've been with a guy a couple of times, he's communicated reasons why he has not climaxed with you (and yes I'm very aware ejaculation and climax are actually separate things), putting yourself in this situation how would you feel after sex many times and him not climaxing? Providing I knew before I dislocated my TM joint or got RSI from trying for ages when it's not likely to happen, I would not be bothered. I was involved with a man for several months once who I had amazingly satisfying sex with who only came twice in the entire time we were seeing each other. He was perfectly ok with it, so I figured it wasn't sensible to let it bother me. Mind you when he did come, I couldn't help mentally high-fiving myself...
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' And while there are some arm chair psychologists trying to find fault in me, I'm asking the question of you ladies.... you've been with a guy a couple of times, he's communicated reasons why he has not climaxed with you (and yes I'm very aware ejaculation and climax are actually separate things), putting yourself in this situation how would you feel after sex many times and him not climaxing? I'll have another stab at it, and not under the influence this time! In the scenario you describe I would be fine about it. It's your body and your mind. Ultimately what I do to either can only influence the situation to the level you allow it. If you have been upfront why you may not climax, prior to any activities, that would set my mind at rest from the beginning. Why? Well if you have seen them a couple of times you clearly have made the decision to see the person again, which points to you liking them and finding them attractive and desirable. So the issue of you not climaxing is not related to that person, but is a personal trait. So when are you visiting Melbourne?
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RHP User
10 years ago
i know you were asking women but thought I would add an opinion too. As some of the ladies have said a guy cuming is something pleasurable to them as well. I had an ex wife however who was the opposite and uttered "yuk" when i did come. Took many years to heal that psychological scar let me tell you. Not ejaculating or ejaculating too early are sometimes 2 results of the same issue - worrying and being anxious about the end result ie cumming. So it can be self perpetuating. Try to breathe and just go with the flow and live that loving in the moment. Dont think ahead. Dont worry about performance. Pleasure her because you want to not to distract her from your own performance. Talk to her and tell her to help you prevent your mind and thoughts from wondering beyond the moment and into a a future moment that you are worried about. It doesnt make you more or leas of a man, mate that's for sure. Just let go and relax. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm with you mate, have always had issues cuming but love sex. This has never really been problem for most women I've been with probably someone with less experience yes. Meeka is right just reassurance the lady and lead her to another multiple climaxing session ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' And while there are some arm chair psychologists trying to find fault in me, I'm asking the question of you ladies.... you've been with a guy a couple of times, he's communicated reasons why he has not climaxed with you (and yes I'm very aware ejaculation and climax are actually separate things), putting yourself in this situation how would you feel after sex many times and him not climaxing? I have been in that situation with a guy whose medication for PTS meant he did not always climax. He was very open about his issues. It was not a problem for me in fact he was one of the most sensual guys i have ever met. He knew how to make me happy and that made him happy. It was a beautiful friendship. Different people like different things find someone who matches you. If you are with a woman she will understand and if she does not then she is a shallow person and possibly not very creative in bed anyway so why bother with her ????
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RHP User
10 years ago
I cum (pardon the pun .....) across it a bit actually. I'm starting to feel a bit self conscious about it actually but I'm assured it's not me 😕 but like Ralf, I don't come every time either so I guess it's no different
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have been with many different types of female partners over the years. Some naturally orgasmic and highly sexual, and others with many variations upon the conditions in which they can freely express their sexuality or not, and can orgasm... or not. There is no reason why this is any different for a male than a female. There are a myriad of reasons people are as they are. Good reasons, bad reasons, in between reasons. You have every right to be where you are at in your sexuality and sexual expression, whether coming often, or not. Finding people that are cool with you and where you are at is the same game as every else here I would imagine. In the past, I have never approached these things as an issue to fix, as much as appreciate that they are the parameters in which to play, and enjoy ourselves and each other. As a side note, I do get how other people's perceptions/one's own expectations upon the male to be dominating can drive the male to feeling like they have to be in control of the sexual dynamic, but can it allow the male to simply be passive and receive? The difference can be felt, say, in the difference between a 'porn star' head job from a partner, and cock worship where she takes every moment to appreciate, for her own pleasure, the smell, the texture, the intricacies, the subtleties of the male sexual anatomy. Breathes in its essence, for her own love of it. How would you feel being so passive at her administrations? Letting go is difficult, but like intimacy & trust, can be built upon. I myself have my own neuroses and comfort zones. I simply assume everyone does and roll with it. Could I be wrong? I only have a 3 second attention span, and this post has taken me 12 seconds. I hope it is readable.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have that same problem due to some injuries. The women usually do take offence to it unless I tell them beforehand. (Odd thing is, if I tell them beforehand then the pressures off and i cum on their ceiling. Hahaha) But if I'm not going to cum then I make sure they do at least a few Times - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lostboy.... yes communication is key I'm finding. I actually feel the default assumption should be that people won't climax, and if does then great. But going in with this perspective focuses on being with each other rather than pressure on the final outcome. I find it allows a lot more bonding and intimacy. Though I must admit I've only learnt this in recent years, as my ex for many years used to complain about me not climaxing (even to the point of claiming I did not love her because of it). I've realised this is her insecurities but this was a big enough issue that it did drive us apart. But I'm in a great place now, and looking for someone without all these insecurities.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've tackled this issue before - due to anxiety problems I take SSRIs which can sometimes mean that it's well over an hour before I end up climaxing. It really depends on the kind of person you're with whether this is a good or bad thing. If you've got somebody who's not really enjoying the act, or whose tolerance doesn't go beyond 10-15 minutes, then it's a bit awkward, and there's a few times where we've called it quits before the orgasm. That said, I make it pretty clear that I'm in the pleasure zone the whole time. And generally I am, even without orgasm there's that wonderful feeling when you're clearly being stimulated. I emphasise that, and learn to enjoy that part of it. That said, I've heard there are some women who can go for hours, and I suppose that makes people with our condition a rather desirable match!
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SacralChakra
10 years ago
Sometimes it happens. If he tells me he's satisfied and happy I'll believe him. Pressure chases an orgasm away as well so I just go with the flow. Personally I like to have at least one or I feel unfinished...
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RHP User
10 years ago
As many have said it isn't my problem its there's. We probably have more MMF then couples so obviously it has happened, one of the problems is (and this is only my opinion) that some guys stop themselves from climaxing too soon. Then when they think OK I'm going for it they can't! I'm obviously a women so I am only trying to make sense of it. Stage fright can also be the issue, they've got my husband watching them fuck me and that totally puts them off. To be honest women have the same issue but in other ways. For example I could not if my life depended pee to order, I'm even dodgy if someone is in the room. But squirt I can do that alright...... :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have often struggle to cum ... Usually when drinking or other goodies are involved , the next day when I'm a little more sober I'm all good but the problem is I do love a drink and like to party when the opportunity presents ;) So I've just accepted that it isn't going to happen ...but it's all good as I just enjoy the ride and it can be a little intoxicating if I can manage to keep making someone else happy a few times ;)) - Posted from rhpmobile
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