M39
Help plz!!!
September 16 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
but there is a modicum of truth in the old adage "treat em mean to keep em keen" ergo "nice guys finish last" etc.I think you have to maintain interest, curiosity and foster anticipation. If she can predict exactly what you're going do / say on every occasion and knows she will always get her own way no matter what then you lose respect.You'll read this expressed in many and varied ways by the women here in their posts ... any hint of desperation or universal accommodation and you're fucked - they, just like you want to feel special. The power dynamic in these online meeting places is distorted which makes it even more difficult - but not impossible.Play the long game ... I read a great fishing analogy by a regular in another thread titled "why is everybody so rude" look it up - good advice.Short list a few that interest you - redo your profile so it will appeal to those specific few (this is of course arse about but by targeting the profile to the women you have instinctively gravitated toward my guess is the end result will be a more accurate reflection of what you ARE looking for as opposed to what you THOUGHT you were looking for ?)Oh, and make this the last time you advertise that you are 2 for 2 on long-term relationships with nothing in between or before .. it is often stated this will scare off many who are wary of "clingy" - remember their dilemma is too much choice in conjunction with false or misleading advertising. If it is meant to be it will develop - regardless of what anybody wrote in their profile.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bollocks! If you start playing those games you will attract insecure needy women... Because the rest of us usually get bored of the game and will tell the guy to get lost. What you have to be is interesting. Have some interesting hobbies that are not sport. Just read an article that said most couples meet through a shared interest, so why not join some clubs or activities to meet women and just be yourself. Good luck gorgeous!
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RHP User
11 years ago
That should read: "treat them mean, and keep them keen"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Whoaaaaaaaaaa!FOXY
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RHP User
11 years ago
Any hint of desperation.... Whether a man or a woman... Is a turn off. Don't be over keen is probably a better way of saying it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Very good advice meeka- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
never assume your words will be read in full and not taken out of context ...Boy you girls are a tough audience
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RHP User
11 years ago
oh go on,I know ya wanna say something
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RHP User
11 years ago
oh go on,I know ya wanna say something
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RHP User
11 years ago
oh dear...you just gave away your secrets....but some of what you say is so true.dvs ,I like modesty and dislike strutting cocks,but possum, you need to be a bit more positive about you.If you say you always finish last,it will be a self fulfilling prophecy...it will continue to happen...so ditch that line.Don't say you are a nice guy,prove it by being a nice guy,not all women want ''bad boys''...at any age, in my opinion,they are just malajusted children.You know you have good qualities,focus on the positives about you,surround yourself with people who like and respect you,get rid of the negative Nellies,you can't afford them
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RHP User
11 years ago
Only going on the info you've supplied."I've had 2 serious relationships with 2 great girls". Good, they obviously meant the world to you as you are speaking of them with high regard. Maybe they had other priorities, like a life to get on with.Providing cars and houses obviously wasn't enough to sustain their interest in continuing a relationship with you.Don't dwell or live in the past, it's an easy trap to get into. It's easy to do what has been done before, we are all creatures of habit.We can all learn lessons from previous relationships that can help in future relationships.In regards to meeting women, put on a happy face mate. Most people are a mirror.The women folk here will give you the good oil.Good luck
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just be yourself. Fuck a chick if she doesnt want you for who you are. NEXT!. Never change man!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'IndefatigableMe' never assume your words will be read in full and not taken out of context ...Boy you girls are a tough audience Ladies, just look at this siteNICE GUYS FINISH LAST OR NOT AT ALLthis does not mean you have to be a complete arsehole. the truth is your a man, so man up as DG says. I for one do not want a guy i can pussy whip, I loose all respect.That all chestnut of a line, you will make some other girl very happy is as lame as its not you its METake the control back, your the hound women are the rabbit.there are lots of nice guys out there, and on RHP and they are getting jack shit from women that say they want more, than a fuck.Most of the women here say NEXT if a guy does not perform like a trained seal for them. Reality is not like that, if all the women on rhp went to a bar full of hot alpha dogs, how many of us would get a date and then anther date and then the house the car the fucking kids and the ring?not many cause were still here aint we?What ever we are looking for its sure as shit is not that MR nice guy.Lady T , just wanting cock attached to bad bad boys.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I believe I'm quite a well adjust child ;p
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mr.Fun,you would like to be bahd but ya not,are you Peter?
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RHP User
11 years ago
finding yourself single for the first time, at the age of 27 & after 2 committed relationships, it's understandable you would be feeling unsure about yourself & wondering where to meet women & how to approach them. there is great advice already posted here, take it all & use it! it would be hurtful & lead to feelings of self-doubt & insecurity when both relationships have ended & both partners tell you they just fell out of love with you, but the fact you even had these relationships in the first place & having them both end on good terms & with both partners telling you the things they did, is a 'first step' which you have already made. you already know that you can have a loving & committed relationship & you have the ability to say goodbye to somebody you love with tenderness & kindness. This is a wonderful trait & something not everybody is able to do. You already have something substantial & valuable to bring to a new relationship & something which can't be given by everybody. there's your first step & a foot halfway in the door :) If you haven't had much experience meeting & talking to women as a single man, being shy isn't all that surprising. this will ease though as you gain more confidence in yourself & relax the pressure you might be putting on yourself. you don't have to jump straight in to another relationship though & wonder where to start & how to approach women. it is nice to have somebody but it is so much nicer after you have been by yourself for awhile. confidence comes when you know & like yourself, being single is the time to do this. the more your confidence grows, the more you'll find women approaching you instead of you worrying how to approach them. just be you, there's no need to play games or act a certain way. relax & let yourself enjoy during this time, there is so much out there to explore & experience, just have a ball :) mrs funky
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Not gonna do it. Caused cracks in one brittle male ego in the forums today already. I've reached my quota. lol DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
LOVE YA...DG!FOXYPS-The OP did ask! ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Showering a female with everything except the things that really makes them happy' comes back and bites you on the arse.At 27 years of age and able to buy each a home , holidays etc.. You either come from riches, won the lottery or partnered Bill Gates in computers.. Sadly ' lots of wealthy guys think all they have to do is supply the material things in life and the female will automatically lay back and spread them. That would probably work in the beginning 'but once they realise theres something missing , they start to become despondent and go looking for their real happiness.. I don't believe in the treating them mean and keep em keen theory. I think thats all bullshit. However ' I do believe in give and take.. Be yourself and allow them the same. I believe thats the key
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RHP User
11 years ago
and keep at it DG, good to stir the pot
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think the other male you referred to has a fragile ego at all. I think he was pretty bored with what he saw as a predictable and oft-trotted-out approach, and he said so directly, unequivocally. I for one found the clear confidence and surety of his comments kinda sexy. I do love a man who knows his own mind and has a well-reasoned argument. But I digress. OP, I agree with IndefatiguableMe - nice guys finish last because women like men who can handle us. We're complex creatures (just my view) and you need to be just as comfortable saying no as you are saying yes. No can be a very sexy word, when delivered with strength and love at the same time.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
dvs....... Firstly....Assets are not commodities to encourage someone to want to be with you. YOU are why they should want to be with you.... not your stuff. Because stuff gets boring..... its impersonal..... and its replaceable. Work on making yourself the best goddamn version of you on the planet and you become irreplaceable.Ive offered comments to similar topics in the past. Not sure how good the search function in here is as Ive never had cause to use it. But you might find some of my long replies to similar topcis related to approaching, and confidence.Im happy to offer you plenty of assistance via PM off the forums where ive attracted one or two profile "followers" in the past few days...lol..... ...but let me ask you this about approaching and taking to women youve never met........whats the worst that could happen? The answer is...... she tells you to fuck off you (insert unflattering comment here)....If that happens.... and trust me..... it never does...... but lets use the hypothetical and say it does.......then she's potentialy saved you from years of heartache and pain up front... by proving that she's not worthy of you getting to know her.Youve proven that you can be a loyal, worthwhile person for at least 2 women to know..... there is a world of great women out there just waiting form a great guy to walk up, own his space and say with sincerity .... "Hi, I saw you from over there, looking all lovely today, and I just had to come and meet you"Go get em, tiger.DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I learnt a long time ago women can be complex creatures. There was a time when I would play the game because I thought that was the way women like to do things and was part of their game plan. During my NRL years, there were plenty of girls (young and not so young ) happy to make them self available , most of whom were of the non attractive variety ' but somewhere amongst the mix you always found the exception. For the girls who succeed' they know they get bragging rights among their friends and that is a big part of why they do this... The thing they dont know ' is as a group, we were schooled on how to handle these over enthusiastic footy tragic s. I'm still involved with my club in a non playing role and I know that todays crop of players are even more educated on the pitfalls then we ever were. Not surprising' part of the teaching surrounds what to look for and who to avoid.. No difference to what should expect in here... lol..In real life' you dont get any of that training so most just throw themselves off the deep end and either swim like buggery or sink...lol...
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RHP User
11 years ago
You remind me very much of a great man I met last year. He too had bought his ex-girlfriend a house, and always looked after her, financially and otherwise. They were still friends, and he clearly respected her very much. We went on a few dates and I found him one of the most generous and caring men I'd ever met. He explained he was taught by his parents to always put a woman first. I got the impression he would anything for his friends, and never speak badly of people. He made a lot of money in his job, and derived much pleasure from spending it on others, just to see them smile. The problem for me was that he was insecure and desperately wanted to be liked. As a result he acted rather clingy, calling or texting several a day wanting to know how I was doing. Instead of having a strong opinion on things, he seemed to agree with everything I said. In bed he only wanted to give, not receive. When after our third date he started planning a trip for my birthday, I knew I had to leave. He was upset and asked repeatedly for another change. He said he could change and be whatever I needed. I needed him to be his own man, but I don't think he knew who he was as he was always adapting to others.
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RHP User
11 years ago
asked repeatedly for another chance*
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