F63
Home and Away - FIFOs and other long distance relationships ...
June 01 2015
Comments
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I helped fuck my marriage when we both just gave up.... Maybe that's the key to success?? Commitment and integrity.... Just a thought - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
hi leo girl i constantly travel for work the longest im away from home is six weeks we are in an open relationship. communication is the key lots of open and honest talking about what we want to do and who we want to see. no stop talking. some times it is the hardest relationship i have had because you have to say whats on you mind and also listen to what the other person has to say with out knocking them to the ground. my partner has a few lovers she can call on while im away ,and i have the opportunity to pick up while im traveling. my picking up just happens to be some thing i naturally do or i use tinder to have dates while im away as i find eating alone sucks.not all the time does it lead to sex but good companions and making friends all over the country. there are lots of positives to this 1 we find we are no longer jealous of what the other is doing but rejoice in the fact that they are having a good time 2 we find we talk lots more for us it can be up to three hours a day 3 a stronger relationship cheers richard .
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We keep all lines of communication open, and utilise all forms of media to keep in touch, skype, Facebook, phone calls every day, sometimes more than once, and break the away cycle as frequent as possible with an extra day off in between, not always possible with long interstate rosters, but if you want the relationship to work, it's not hard, we have been doing it on and off for over 10 years now, only recently adding a FWB, but not on the side, we share everything. Sure there a times that are harder than others,part of a healthy relationship is propping the other one up, if and when it's needed, we share occasions online or simply have them early or re celebrate them...It's not a lifestyle for everyone, but it can be done successfully!!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thought this was going to be a thread to discuss the tv show 😞 haha - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Sorry to hear that. I'm glad you have maintained your sense of humour though. It can get us through tough times and I always get a giggle reading your posts. LG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you for your insight. Communication is the key definitely
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We separated 6 years ago this year so it's all past stuff now - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
wow... you must have been a youngster when you got married!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you. Similar situation to mine. Yes honesty and communication are key. It is so true about no longer having jealousy issues. I guess that comes down to having complete trust in your partner and confidence in your relationship. CheersLG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Relationship didn't work out for a number of reasons, one apparently being distance. I was here (Ballarat) and she was in Werribee. More to the point, she thought it was long distance, I didn't. But it was more conflicting work schedules and her being at a different stage in life (9 years younger) that were more an issue. My goal is to find self employment so I can move about more easily if needed, and be more available to move or find a compromise on location. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
precious142
10 years ago
in my 15 year relationship my FIFO was away for up to 6 weeks at a time....and no FB or FWB in sight! In those days there was no Skype or mobiles, but I did look forward to evening phone calls, sometimes short sometimes longer ones.With work and looking after a 5 acre property kept me very busy but I was fortunate enough to be able to take nearly the whole week off when he was home, so spending quality time together was paramount....sleep - ins, lots of shagging, day trips away......amazing what you can pack into week!!!!!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I was 25 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm not away for long periods at a time - usually less than 2 weeks, but the trips are so frequent that I'm often only home for a few days a month. It was hard on my relationship and definitely contributed to the end. No problem with communication, it just got to the point where it was one more thing that meant we may as well do our own thing.
-
nattyocean
10 years ago
My previous work had me away from home at least 2 weeks of every month and I can say it was a contributing factor in my marriage breakdown (but not a major I wouldn't say - but my ex husband might disagree 😁) but due to a lack of communication that already existed my absence only exacerbated this. Xx Natty - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Can be a killer or it can make the marriage stronger. I used to work a 4/1 roster and we got through it. The hardest part was just missing out on everything while you're working and the world goes by without you. I no longer do it because it put a strain on me (and I'm sure the wife too) but the relationship was never in doubt. Those who blame a FIFO roster for the breakup of their relationship imho needf to look elsewhere to shift the blame. If a job is more important to you than a relationship then its obvious your priorities are in the wrong place. We played when I came home, and though she was allowed to she rarely played while I was away (I can only think of one example off the top of my head).
-
Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
I did this for a short time, me in Brisbane, him in Perth, yes we missed each other when we were apart, but when we did see each other it was electric, amazing, passionate and loving. We'd do phone calls very day, messages, emails, simple things to let the other know that we were thinking about each other. If you really want something to work it will work, if you don't it won't... Oh but we did kept our relationship open....💋 oh and no it wasn't the distance that it didn't work, far from it actually....😊
-
RHP User
10 years ago
So not exactly answering the OP's question but this is my take on FIFO, it's still sort of relevant. I work away for 4+ weeks, the longest has been 8 weeks. I don't think I could do it if I had a partner, when I am away I don't like being reminded of home so would I hate having a partner calling me etc. If they were having troubles with something and I couldn't be there I would go nuts. I've seen it happen to other guys I've worked with. Sometimes I don't even have access to phone or internet. I never felt that it would be fair to do that to a partner, definitely one who didn't work FIFO themselves. Since it has always been a short term plan for me it was an easy decision to just accept that I would just be single and enjoy the advantages that has. Seeing as I will only be doing it for the rest of this year, or maybe even less, I am finding myself more open to the idea of a relationship but being single definitely has it's advantages.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I've done it for 7 and a half years, half of that on a 4 and 1 roster...and I've recently resigned from it.As 3somes said, if the job is more important than your relationship then your priorities are wrong. I would go further and say that you have to know when enough is enough...if your not entirely happy doing it or if your not progressing sociallyas well as the obvious financially, then it's time to get out also.Like many doing it, I could have just kept on going I suppose. When is enough money enough? Never, for many of us.I still have 29 years on my mortgage...but I'm not going to let that keep me doing something I'm not really happy doinganymore. Fortunately, I don't have any dependents or other debts...and have a trade that is eminently employable, although not the highest paid...so it wasn't hard to overcome the usual fears and walk away.FIFO wasn't to blame for the breakdown of my last relationship, my ex and I worked together, though I had allowed myself to believe it was necessary I work the night shift for us to be together...something I didn't particularly enjoy after 3 straight years of it. I was telling myself it was a necessary sacrifice...something I was wrong about. And my unhappiness was a definite factor in our breakup. But's that in the past now.It's been 2 weeks nearly, and I'm enjoying being unemployed...my affairs are all in order now and I'm prepared to get back into work at short notice...but I think I'll enjoy it a bit longer.I'm considering using up some of those Frequent Flyer points I've been accumulating for years and going to do some volunteer work in Asia for a little while. Looking into it now. I think I'd find it much more gratifying than what I've been getting paid to do and the sacrifices I've made for the last 7 years.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
We had some minor issues before I did my FIFO stint last year but always seem to sort it out. I resented having to go actually and when she wouldn't listen to my take on it she wouldn't have a bar of it and started ignoring me. The FIFO certainly magnified the emotions. It's a life style for certain people and couples and unfortunately I don't think it was for us. I've seen other couples thrive on it but as said above they were stronger to start with as well.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I've been FIFO for the past 4yrs & I've heard that 70% of relationships fail..... It happened with my relationship & I've seen it happen to most of my coworkers too. The isolation takes it toll it really is a single persons game. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
For me I loved her more being away I couldn't get home quickly enough but for her she wanted more which is fare enough. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I studied mining engineering. I did my VAC work - and decided to stay away from that lifestyle. The saddest part is seeing those who have stayed too long. I am now doing something very different, happily living in the city.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
take on this? You probably don't want to know my take on this but for those of you who are in open relationships, you're the smart ones, never presume you're the only one your partner is having phone sex with while he's away and never presume your the only one he shares time with when he's home, we can never own another person, men always look elsewhere as do many women, just a matter of whether you know about it or want to bury your head in the sand, i'm gonna cop a lathering for this one but i believe in sexual freedom, and there are thousands of guys cheating on their partners as we speak, what makes you think you're not one of them, just my thoughts - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for your comments. I think anyone who has experience in on online dating or sites like RHP have a fairly good grasp of the volume of people, male and female, who cheat on their spouses/partners. It certainly isn't restricted to long distance work related relationships. I was interested in how people cope with the absence of their partner. Agreed that open relationships are one option. Having playmates to substitute for their partner during absences can be therapeutical but doesn't really relieve the loneliness or lack of companionship that the person staying behind can feel. LG
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Together we party one way, apart we have an open relationship, as long as it's only about sex. This is new for us relatively speaking. We've been apart 15 weeks of the last 40. We also make the time to talk daily, use what's app and generally make each other feel like we know what the others day is going to be, or has been like. So we remain connected on the day to day, and the fun stuff.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Sounds like you have a good mechanism going for you. In my situation we have been apart for nearly 9 months. When we can, we communicate daily or several times a day but due to work restrictions with communications when my partner is offsite, comms can be out for up to 2 wks at a time. He is due back soon so it should be an awesome reunion. CheersLG
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share