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RHP

RHP User

M39 F52

How comfortable are you talking about kink?

April 16 2013

fetish

kink

We were happy to see such great threads on the new kink subforum, but we were wondering how comfortable you're talking about kink with other kinksters face to face. Sounds like a dumb question, but we've often met people at socials and munches, and it's only once we got back to the computer we realized "Oh, they're into that!" For example: we enjoy fisting, but we've always been a bit too scared to bring it up. There's a lot of misinformation (and misogyny) surrounding it so we've always been quiet. A woman of a couple we met was once so wet and "accomodating" I could have slipped in without a problem, but didn't as it could have been a big shock to her body image. We've also been a bit worried messaging others to find possible playmates.How do you approach the topics, and when?

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Cool topic. I have always felt uncomfortable about discussing Kinks with close friends as i was always taught that taboo topics were not to be spoken of. It wasn't until I started posting on these forums that I got to meet like minded people, and was able to learn more about them, and myself. Now, I find that honesty is the best policy. I find that discussing kinks is easier when everyone is comfortable with each other. I'm quite open to discussing kinks with people that I have meet, provided that they are comfortable with themselves. Generally if your intimate with a person(s) it's easier, but I have a work collegue who quite often discusses her wants and kinks with me, and I have openly discussed mine with her.I do admit though, that discussing kinks when your in a new relationship can be difficult, but then, if your partner isn't even able to discuss them,I tend to think that the relationship, what ever it is, probably won't last the distance. I'd be interested to see what other people have to say.

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  • cbdlivin

    cbdlivin

    12 years ago

    I am always up front about my kinks, but always like to make people realise just because I am into something does not mean I will be wanting them to be in it. Fisting is an interesting one, I love giving a nice fisting, but yes some people have certain opinions and misinformation about it. Before play I would ask if there was anything in particular they did not want to do and then just let things go within there rules.Sometimes you will get bad reactions but may as well find out straight away.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As be it kinks, or just a yummy moment between me and another person, I seem to kill the moment, without intent. I like to try and talk about things like this with humour, and as I mentioned before I inadvertently kill the moment.....an example OP would be if I was asked what my thoughts were on fisting using your post as an example. I would tend to reply with something like "fisting is something that I've never done, but I'm willing to lend a hand.....or two :p" and while I see it as funny, others may see it as condescending and insensitive. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    so the first thing we do is read profiles, most people list their fetishes etc there. It is then easy to contact them with "Hi i see you are into" and go from there. Isn't that part of the reason we are on here anyway, to find like minded people/deviates, lol.Then the ice is broken so to speak when you do meet face to face.

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  • subgal_gc

    subgal_gc

    12 years ago

    I find that being up front and honest is usually the best way to go. That way there is no confusion and misinterpretation. No need to be clinical about the discussion but either start with a request via email, or if you are meeting them in person you can always play the conversation by ear and see if you can mention things that might interest you and ask for the same information in return. But have to agree with anybodyjustnow.... if they can't discuss it they are likely not into anything too kinky and your relationship may have difficulties.

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  • blondes6365

    blondes6365

    12 years ago

    were open about our kinks and yes can be hard to talk about even tho some do have the same kinks fisting is one of ours but can be a taboo subject we guess you have to conect with the ppl you talk to about suck kinks the old saying each to there own

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What Kinks?   ........as far as i'm aware, i don't have any

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hellfire club has really opened my eyes to the weird and wonderful world of kinks and fetishes. I love it so much that I'm starting a series of paintings about them. I am fascinated with kink. I love seeing people express themselves and not feel inhibited about what it is that turns them on. I am happy to discuss my kinks with anyone who asks. Seems like that the more I explore, the more I find. Yippee!!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I am comfortable talking about my kinks to like minded people.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    NewCouple what are the munches like? I see that they are regularly held over all Australia but I have never been to one. Are they good?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Suppose I have my kinks cause Im willing to do anything within reason that makes the lady happy.. Apart from flying around the room naked on a ceiling fan with chains hanging off my dick yelling geronimo .. I dont have that many.. But I would just love to fist a accommodating female. I got the urge last year after reading a article so now its on my must do list.. I never ask any the girls I've been with in fear of spoiling a good thing.. Who knows' maybe they might jump at the chance, but I doubt it... I wouldnt risk missing out on a good fuck because of bad judgement... Geez' this mating game can be hard at times..

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Is it a case of Looking Good, or rather, not wanting to look bad?.Be proud of your orientation(s) and realize any scorn you receive, is most likely, from those who have resigned judgement on sexuality that frightens them or plainly don't understand.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' NewCouple what are the munches like? I see that they are regularly held over all Australia but I have never been to one. Are they good? Overall, they're pretty damn good. We've always been interested in meeting new people and seeing what's out there, and munches are perfect. They don't have the "meat market" feel a lot of swinger social events have, and most of the time people are more interested in talking and forming friendships than meeting for play right then and there, something we desire when meeting prospective play partners.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    All the kinky/fetish events that I have attended have all been very friendly and open and not sleazy at all. But I have never been to a munch before. Maybe I will go. Thanks for the info.

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  • WhispersAndMoans

    WhispersAndMoans

    12 years ago

    There are things we do as a couple that are the result of many years of trust being built up. Silly as it may seem the fear of "judgement" combined with the need to really trust someone to bare your soul with some kinks means we don't advertise all the things we may do in our bedroom (on the train, cinema, park swing etc). Some things we probably forever remain things we only do together (And sir what do you propose to do with that tube?). Others we are keen keen keen to share...DP, bring it on ). Depends on the kink and the trust.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I am very open about my kink. I don't see it as something shameful that I should hide and as a result i've had a lot of friends coming to me asking questions about different kinds of kink and have themselves come to terms with their own sexual urges and they are happier now. I highly recommend a Munch. I can tell you the next one in Perth is at The Court in Northbridge on May 12th from 2pm.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have no trouble talking about kink and all things related to the fetish and bdsm lifestyle.....in fact, I darn well love it!! ;)I play this way all the time so I am quite experienced and knowledgeable when it comes to these naughty little things.I absolutely love fisting however, there is a right way and a wrong way of doing it.....feel free to contact me should you desire to know more or would like to talk about it :)If you are at a munch albeit a bdsm/fetish related one, I think it would be o.k to say something to the equivalent of...."We are interested in perhaps trying fisting, what are your experiences or would you happen to know anything about this area"Hope this helps.Warm Regards,Ms Diva

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    if they cant talk about it then.. although watching some body break through that "boundary" is amazing

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    i am happy to talk about mykinks,,,   have tried fisting and with the right guy amazing,,,its about trusting him and not rushing it,,, im open to try most things,,,bring it on

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have met some amazing men. All are different. I have been penetrated with toys I can't even describe, been with a real dominant that was incredible. But I still like vanillas sex.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    We are very comfortable discussing kinks and I must say, once you have gotten over the hurdle of communicating what you would like to try with your partner there will be no looking back as the urge to push only grows. In our experiences, kinks or fetishes will grow and develop over time, an example would be say, you would like to try tying your partner with rope. So off you go to bunnings or masters, get some rope and loosely tie your partner to the bed.... You both really enjoy the experience and before you know it, the both of you are attending bondage workshops where you are learning how to suspend your partner from the ceiling. Munches are a great place to start, there are also other web communities to join but nothing beats getting out there and attending some clubs or events and talking to people. It may surprise you how approachable people are if you talk to them, respectfully of course :) I think we are all have a kink, it's just that some prefer to keep it a secret.. Regards, HL - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    My god im obsessed with kink,and i talk about as much as i can. My wife thinks that i have mental issues with the things im into, but for me the kinkier the merrier. You name it ive done it bottles frozen fruit and veg, foods, love fisting,,, did i say LOVE FISTING. Even people of friends we have just met,,,, we are from Sydney as well, so anytime you guys want to message us PLEASE do so. And lets get the party started

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    So long as we know we are talking with open minded people who won't judge or be freaked out by anything we might say we're happy to talk kink. Mix in the right circles and you have no trouble finding the right people to talk about it with.

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