How do you ask your husband??

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  To be honest, we just went - after all, we've talked enough about it. Just looked at each other one evening, and after a couple of glasses of wine to screw up our courage, decided to take a short drive down to the Lotus Lounge. It's quite a nice environment, a 'no' really does mean a 'no'. As we recall, on the night we went, nobody was playing with each other, only a few regulars, we were told, were even doing anything to each other. So, while it was a sexy atmosphere, it really didn't do a lot for us. Suggest you just bring it up with your hubby. He's seen you naked and with pimples and all, what's the worst he could say? He's not likely to raise any objection after you tell him that you want to see what the female selection is on offer at a couples club :). Hubby here most certainly didn't :). A good trick some people we've spoken to seems to be bringing the topic up during sex. Along the lines of 'what turns you on' when he's buried deep inside you. Seems to make the whole thing less confronting, especially if you make it seem like a great idea and point out quite clearly what's in it for him. Not to say that you lie to him outright, but point out that having a FFM or three is great way to start out in the swinging lifestyle. Seems a bit like trickery to us, but it seems to work well enough for some people. Your mileage may vary.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  good question going through same thing what would you want to hear if he approached you

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I blurted it out when we were havin sex haha worked though he was in the same boat didnt know how to approach it good luck

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Well, my advice would just be to ask him - if it's what you want, and your husband is happy to try it, then go for it.I found out today the real reason my girlfriend of two years and I broke up last week.  She had said she just didn't want to be in a relationship right now, even though she loved me and still found me attractive.  Now whilst she still loves me and finds me attractive, the real reason is she's bisexual.  Apparently, years ago before we ever met she tried something with a girl and enjoyed it, but was ashamed of it, and pushed it to the back of her mind.  Five years later, two major relationships later, she calls an end to ours after talking about kids, and marriage (was going to ask her parents permission when we went overseas next August), because she has a craving for lesbian tendencies right now.  I did ask her if she was interested in girls and she told me no, I guess because she was still 'ashamed' and hiding it from herself and I.Bummer, these things can only make us stronger I guess. So, what I'm trying to say is just be straight with him, if he loves you I'm sure he'll be happy to meet your needs - I know I would have been, and probably still would if it's just a case of her not knowing what it is she wants.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Try talking to him about the things that turn you on (including couples bars) and if he's like most men it'll be organised before you know it.Perhaps suggest a general discussion to find his desires and limits (rather than "we're booked in for a shag at...lol)Mr. SR

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  jandv

  15 years ago

  The first time is the hardest. As soon as you get in the doors its heaps of fun. There is no pressure if you dont want to do anything. My advice is just go. You will have a ball !!!!!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It was a topic that came up very early in our relationship, and has cemented our ability to talk about ANYTHING.....   We're both bi, and She just straight up asked me.... Why would I say no...? But I think its important to make sure everyone understands where they fit into the relationship... We talked about it, and we know its a bit of fun and not about falling for someone else. ie no jealousy...  :)   Never looked back since....   J&J

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  TassieHunter

  15 years ago

  Hi to everyone out there!I have only just signed on as a member here at RHP and in having a bit of a look around stumbled upon this forum topic.It is possible that I was the 'other half' of a situation somewhat similar to that you have described hot4sex823.  When my wife and I were together I would occasionally raise the topic of fantasies and 'what turns you on' during foreplay and in the afterglow.  It was to no avail.  Even though she was very open to trying different things when the mood suited, she just could not talk about things such as that.If only I had had a way to find out what she was thinking.  For me she could have gradually raised the possibility merely as a fantasy that she didn't think she could ever actually follow through on and then gradually built upon the idea as she felt more comfortable in speaking about it.It wasn't until she left me because (oh, I guess that is irrelevant) that I found out she had been experimenting with other younger guys when supposedly on her "girls nights out" and that she does in fact have a 'healthy' interest in MMF and FFM (bi).  It may not have changed things in the long run BUT........if only she had raised the issue.  All those years and she obviously never really felt totally at ease and comfortable with me, even when we were getting all hot & sweaty together!  Who knows now how much more fun we could have had together.Now, after all that, I guess my advice is simply to raise the possibility as an 'in passing' glib comment to see how he reacts / responds.  It is a topic that I think the great majority of blokes would be happy to discuss as a mere fantasy and then at least you have a foot in the door so to speak to broach the topic in more depth another time.Good Luck, whatever you do.T.H.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  From the guy point of view bring it on (its guys dreams)lol.We are new fairly new to the scene like you she is not interested in mmf but curious with ffm .Communicate and set up rules in place prior in what you want and dont want to remove any awkwardness.As a couple we go to events on rhp  like purr,kat and saints they are all very safe and comfortable places to just do as you want together or just go and have a chat with who ever they are all very friendly and respect what your looking for.It will probably take few events or clubs to feel relaxed with it all and think of all the dancing you will get to do going to them   good luck with it n&m

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Thanks everyone for your comments...I felt nervous the first time I mention my desire to be with another woman to him but that went well so maybe I just need to do it!   I remember once he mentioned something while we were being intimate about being watched by others...I didn't hear him clearing and when I asked what he said, he never repeated, obviously thought i'd heard & didn't approve of the idea...so maybe (after a couple of glasses of wine) while in bed together I might requestion him about that, then mention the couples clubs and maybe he might think it was all his idea & give it a go. Fingers crossed & Wish me luck....   Would still love to hear anyone else's experiences

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  Mr_MrsJones

  15 years ago

  My husband and I went to a Couples Int as out introduction to swinging.  We talked about it for ages and then worked up to courage to go. We had a great night and were buzzing around for weeks!!!!!  Since then we have never looked back.     How to bring it up with him? Perhaps if not during sex but certainly while you are relaxed and talking about sexy things.  Maybe play a little game like 'list some things you always wanted to do but were afraid to ask'  If you are thinking about taking on other partners then you both need to be comfortable to say what is on your mind and not be afraid of the repercussions.   As far as couples clubs go the thing to remember is that the people there will be mostly other couples.  In our experience single females looking for couples are very hard to find and you are more likely to find other couples.  If you are not interested in another guy then this could be frustrating.  But if you go along to have a look see some good sights and meet some nice people then GO FOR IT

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Like lord-lady69 at the clubs you will find lots of couples and fewer single females and depending what club you go to it can mild to wild but remember you just can enjoy what goes on around you with no preasure.You will see lots ff pashing im sure hubby wont mind looking and you can even get some for yourself the girls wont mind im sure.It will take some time to find what your looking for but have alot of fun finding it along the way.Our first introduction was same room sex with a couple there was only small ff play in turn the old saying she kissed a gurl and liked it we are now good friends .    good luck   n&m

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  My wife and i have been together on and off for 21 years and we have both spoken about our thoughts, wants, deisres, fantasies and it is interesting on all of the posts to date. I (m) have had the pleasure of playing with 2 xF on my 18 B'day and loved it so much it was all i thought about for some time after that... it cost me one partner who was only interested on MF sex...... don't get me wrong i enjoyed it, but i was always seeking something more. My lovely wife has always craved the girls but has never found the person who would be ok with it. We communicate on a daily basis about things and she is my best friend. She loves watching the girl girl action in porn and loves watching giri girl action when we are out - whether it be at a club or a strip joint(which she wants to go to whenever we are out) - but she is just not ready to take the next step... I would love for her to fulfil her urges but i don't wan't her to feel pressured.I live by a simple rule - THERE ARE NO DRESS REHEARSALS IN LIFE!!!! DON'T LOOK BACK WHEN YOU ARE 80 YRS OLD AND SAY I WISH....... I am so wanting to play FFM wiht my wife and i know that she would love the experience - i Don't want to pressure her..... any thougts or suggestions...SORRY it is not following the topic - but after reading the previous posts there are many whom have been there previously

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