F53
How far would you go to help someone??
January 22 2018
Comments
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I pick up hitchhikers at times, recently taking someone somewhere that wasn't on my route (but wasn't that far, I had time to spare). Have occasionally stopped to offer help for stranded motorists, day and night. Of course, I have needed such help myself in both circumstances a number of times, so of course... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
An ex employee/friend had drug addiction probs over a few years. Lost his wife and kids, house. Everything. He tried rehab several times, the last time was in for 12 months. He got in contact with me to apologise for the way he left me in the lurch with his employment. Long story shortened, I offered him his job back, firstly part time till he got stronger and as he progressed l mentored him with the responsibility of work stuff and also personal stuff. 8 years on and still dry, he is now my only employee after downsizing. I work with him side by side every day and l shared every thing about my secret life as Annie and he helped me with my dissolved marriage and then coming out. He never judged me. He did his own research about my trans situation and talked about it to his psychologist. He is now my only male friend and we would do anything for each other. He credits me with saving his life by giving him a chance when he knew it was his last chance of staying clean as he saw a lot of people in his life dying from drugs and giving up. But he saved himself by determination through his challenges, l just gave him the tools to do it with my trust and now my love as a close friend. I saw something in him back then and l decided to help when no one else was including his ex best friend. Can't imagine life without him and we joke with each other we should get married now it's legal.
-
EarthQueen
7 years ago
What an amazing story. Beautiful. Sometimes people just need that one person to believe in them xx For people who I hold dear I would do almost anything for. For people I don't hold dear but I've had attachment to, say my ex, I would still help them but I would be super careful not to give too much emotionally and allow myself to become vulnerable. I don't hold a grudge so after time has passed and wounds have healed I do tend to soften. But I also don't forget. I wouldn't put myself into difficulty to help him though, I come first in that equation. I believe in the universal law of you get what you give/karma. So whatever you put out will come back to you in some way. So why not put out good stuff if you are able? Love your topics Midnight
-
RHP User
7 years ago
My ex is like your friend at least in this situation. He has struggled with addiction all his life and had OD'd a few times. Again in the last few weeks. He was sleeping in his car with blood clots in his leg and a partially collapsed lung after his girlfriend kicked him out. We have a long history and this is the last chance he has to get his life together. It has taken him nearly dying to realise that if he doesn't make a change he will literally die. I still care what happens to him because we have been through so much already. I am very aware that my family are worried that he will somehow take advantage of the situation but I have my own back and have learnt a lot about my own strength and integrity. The rules were laid down in the beginning. He is not a bad person he has just had a very tough life. He has come to realise that this life is way too short. He knows what he has to do and with my help and encouragement hopefully he will find his place in this life and be the person that I first met and fell for even though we will never get back together.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Thankyou for liking my topics. I have way too much time on my hands sometimes.
-
MsJonesy
7 years ago
As far as they will go to support/help themselves. By that I mean I need to see effort on their behalf as well....for instance, that they have thought of various solutions (but may need assistance to get to a final decision), or that they are actively trying to change their situation, but need help in some way. I suppose I mean that they actually want to change, will help themselves, and don't expect a magic fix all from other people - namely me. Some examples - Financial help - extremely rare. I've been burnt too many times. I'm talking $1000s not $100s out of pocket. Mental health - yep, but I will be pushing you to seek help from a professional with better quals than me. Problem solving - I'm your chick! But I will give you various solutions, its up to you to select the most relevant. Accomodation - sure thing, will help out short term if I know them (and trust) them enough to be in my space/house Job - well thats a tricky one considering the field I work in and the quals & experience required. But I would assist in helping them get employment in other areas as long as they are putting the hard yards - which means more than just looking online. I'm a realist, and have seen friends & family in some pretty bad situations. But some - not many, but definitely some - need a boot up the arse, not help/support. But everyone needs someone on their side, and they can totally rely on my help when a crisis hits or life is getting way too hard/complicated👌
-
The_Antichrist
7 years ago
I’ve helped her numerous times... But then there was a lady from here...whom I’ve never met... Sydney has a meet and greet going, she desperately wanted to attend but financially was a little short....I wasn’t the only the one, but as a collective we saw her attend that meet and greet and knowing she’d had an awesome time made it so worth it... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
bonefide
7 years ago
Countrytouch ☝ ---- Offer help for stranded motorists, day and night. EarthQueen👏 So whatever you put out will come back to you in some way. Annie 👍👏 I saw something in him back then MsJonesy ---- But everyone needs someone on their side, Fantastic that's the true Aussie meaning of a fair go. These are the days of old unfortunately, not saying we are all stuck in a rut or painted with same brush. Every one has thier own view or points but at the end of the day we Aussies band together to help people out. Brings us back to earth and history shows we are a helpful bunch crew. Ash Wed fire, cyclone Tracey, NSW floods, stuff we all stood together and as said above or pointed out, look beyond the first instance look at the over all picture not just the cover.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
walked an elderly lady home but out of interest neither she or I knew where that was. I was at my local shopping centre and noticed this woman in a wheelchair, she looked a bit lost or confused I suppose. I asked if she was okay, if she needed help and she said she would appreciate it, she kind of knew the direction she lived in, so we set off, me pushing her, carrying her bags and reassuring her it would be fine, the police station was close anyway, could have ducked in there if need be to get their help. But as we got closer, she recognised her street, got her home safely. It made me feel good, we chatted along the way, nice lady. My ex is very unlikely to ever ask me for help, but if he did and I could help, yes absolutely, and I don't think it's anyone else's business, your decision entirely
-
Hawt1
7 years ago
I had a friend from school days. We called him little red rooster because he was shortish, red haired, gift of the gab. He could walk into a pub broke and walk out pissed as a fart, several ladies hanging of him and pockets stuffed full of cash.. Pool player. He had some very good jobs in his life to date, diver for a pearl company, make a whole years pay in 3 months... piss it up the wall then come asking me for work, which I provided. More recently he had work as a machine operator with all his tickets. Then again unemployed asking me to help him out. I did introduce him to my client at that time, we were plastering a large home for them and also general labouring, welding... all sorts of things. He often did not show, I would go in my break to get him out of bed... pounding on the door because he would not wake. One time he was rude to my client in demanding pay outside of the usual routine and some bad language. They said please dont bring him back... During that work he wanted to buy my spare car, I sold it to him at a reasonable price... had to ask for months for the money, finally the money comes and he asks me not to put the transfer papers in. I ask why... he says no licence... I think oh shit, but went along with it on the provisor he signs the transfer papers... if he fucks up I do not want to be the one left holding the can. A month goes by, he finds new work as an operator, also the rego papers due... I think its his car, he is working he can pay the thing, I give him the papers while it is still in my name... Week after week I ask, have you paid it, he says next pay, next pay. Finally as the cut off day has come I ask him and he says yes it is done. My rego is due on my car so I go online to pay it... while I am there, I did check... no he had not paid the rego. So now I am responsible for an unlicensed driver get around in an unregistered car in my name... nope! He did Lie to me... I cannot countenance that. I have it out with him.. he lends my money in the past, I help him with work, I help him pay his operator tickets, I do the car thing against my better judgement and he has the audacity to lie to my face. Ex friend of over 20 years now. I marched straight into Transport dept and told them the car was sold to him. I think he is addicted to drugs and alcohol, but without honesty and after all the good luck in his life and wasted opportunities, nothing more I am prepared to do, I have my own problems.
-
Curious1965
7 years ago
I have come to the conclusion that we are all fruit cakes in this world. Just by accident most of us have the same number of sultanas so we declare ourselves normal but they are actually scattered throughout in a random order. So depending upon what happens in our life the fragile bonds that holds us together can either congeal or fall apart. So based upon this you need to have empathy and be supportive while still protecting yourself against the real fruit cakes who are not good people Sometimes it's the little things that you do as a Leader which makes the difference over time. As we are older we have a moral responsibility to help the younger ones in particular, sometimes you need to share your own experiences so that they realise that no one is perfect and that we all face challenges and it's ok to be confused and it is a work in progress. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
The extent to which we choose to help people really does depend on how much they are willing to help themselves. Hawt1. You were well and truly burned and I do not blame you for not being friends with him again. He did not deserve your help and betrayed your trust way too often. These are the type of people who I would cut out of my life too.
-
AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Did the expected family thing and loaned my son several thousand dollars for his first car. He never paid it back. He moved to within 1 kilometres of me several years ago and he visited once in 12 months before he shifted to WA. Everyone seemed to tell me, he's your son, you need to look past these things. So l did. I rang him just before Xmas to see if he was flying home. He said he wanted to but only had enough money for one way and could he borrow 600 for the return leg until his delayed holiday pay came through his account from his FIFO job. I never got the money again. I got dissed when l came out. So l Havnt seen him for 3 years and have no wish to see him again. So for me just because they are family gives them no special privileges in life. I'd rather back my own judgement on who l help but least l tried l guess. So no regrets.
-
AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
You seem to have the right approach. Just look after you firstly. And therefore have an escape plan in case plan A doesn't work Good luck for you and hope he makes it.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
"Flood of '95" by Slim Dusty..(Youtube it) THAT my friends.... is Aussie... And SOME of us was part of it.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I was scrolling through Facebook as you do, and there was a post in our local community group from our local pharmacy. One of their customers had come in very distressed. She was 78 and just been evicted from her sons home. All she had was the clothes on her back and her handbag. There was no suitable emergency accommodation available for her. So I just went and got her. I don’t know why I did it, I just did. She stayed with me for nearly 5 months rent & board free. And I loved everyday of it, she taught me how to knit & crochet and gave me hugs every morning 😊 During that time we managed to get access to her belongings and the community rallied together and gathered everything she would need to set up a little unit of her own. Come moving day the locals pitched in and we moved her in. She’s gone home to NZ now, but I miss her a lot.
-
madotara69
7 years ago
Come to sit by Annie, what for I don't know why, all I know is she was upset and some may think great piss off, who the fuck are you compared to me ! pecking order in the pie, lord muck of turd hill, narcissistic view with no register empathy rings no bells, discard, having a shitty day, something different to say, hit a nerve and get a face ache that can bluetooth straight to an arsehole, Anally retentive, float the boat. Try think of the trapped souls in dark places that see, feel and aspire Annie is important and fragile, she is more than her herself, she is remarkable. midnightblue Taking time away from the forums a while ago was because of help others needed, a group of teenage kids in troubles, huddled up in a park with winter setting in, no one could answer my question of who cared to them ?We opened our home, a section out back where the kids could come and sleep, eat, safe haven, some rules, don't steal from us, if they did ? we'd have to have a chat about that. One by one we had that chat. New culture, Old school, Petty thieves on the Friday scoop Just kids and loose, all in that age bracket that win or loose them, institutionalised, each one of them destined, undesirables in society and communal spirit blowing in the wind.Four teenage girls unbeknown to the hurt of submitting to choices not of their own, but to the intensions of those who were grooming them, Guess those young men reflected, protect them girls so they could make the choice for themselves, they owe no one anything in return of gifts when the time comes, imagine the groomers got groomed, young men got the young women birds and bees undisturbed. Began to have things taken from us returned. Called Tara Mahh and got away with nothing, she marched some out the door and banned them till she felt right letting them back, yet I would walk in and there she was in amongst all the undesirables laughing and bopping away to the rapping stories in awe with each and every one sung, I set up my snare drum and played rudiments, my base foot pedal had been knocked off, so I tuned the snare drum down and rim shot the base and beat that sets them all gangster, base drum too deep to silence a vocal, but the sharp crack rim shot on a snare can make a word disappear, so I'd edit some of the hooks in their poetical riffraff, you know ' upity up yipity yay yo yo yer listen up here it comes mother f..rimshot er,......er er ok frappin for the rappin cos yo yo get up in my face mother f.. rimshot er............. er kicked to the curb yo oy yo dido yip yip word. I got bits of the pedal back Just a bunch of kids. Well, the girls are with their mums again, safe now and have boyfriends who also chose to give up the petty thief undesirable life approach and some have taken to working and like the idea of taking their girlfriends to anywhere with cctv rather than ducking and weaving in the shadows. We gave them our word. Those kids made it for a shot with making a life by choices and a few principals in communal spirit, to belong. 40,000 years caretakers and it's being taken away faster than the nature of balance, how can 60,000 walk by a group of kids huddled in a park, hungry and undesirable, rather than caring for why ? Sometimes there is no boundaries, sometimes just a line scratched in the dirt to tell if I'm walking in circles helps. Thanks midnight blue Mado Mado Tara xx
-
RHP User
7 years ago
What an amazing soul you are. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
...and having been blindsided more times than I care to recount will simply reserve my acts of charity to anonymity and be certain that those you genuinely need help are indeed the recipients. Footnote: Please anyone who donates to a charitable foundation of any sort,, check the location and administration fees. Top feeders in this sector make white pointers look like guppies. 🐠🐟🐡🐬🐳🐋🐊 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
My mentor was my grandfather who instilled this in me from the very start. My early life was one full of judgements and very incorrect ones so I understood the need for taking the time out for those in need. I used to go clubbing and stay till close and several times walked girls home just to keep them from those predatory types. It was amusing to see their reaction when you saw them to their house and walked off home sometimes several kms away. Always have time to sit and chat to the more unfortunate and homeless around town. Last winter a young fella was camped out in the park across from my house so I went over and he was from out of town, brought him back to stay a couple of days in my spare room and I see him when he comes to town. So in answer to your question I would basically go out of my way to aid others. I also have lots of time on my hands so that probably makes a difference as well. I wonder what I'd be like if my life circumstances had have been different
-
boobsandbusted
7 years ago
you show your trying to help yourself. not lazily waiting for that help to fall in your lap with a whoa is me attitude and i’m there every step of the way, up to my armpits getting dirty with you , no matter what mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
-
boobsandbusted
7 years ago
the not nice soft side of me .cross me ,lie to me ,be dishonest or fuck me over just once ,that’s it, we are done and don’t waste my time or resources ever again - Posted from rhpmobile
-
OkeyDoke45
7 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' An ex employee/friend had drug addiction probs over a few years. Lost his wife and kids, house. Everything. He tried rehab several times, the last time was in for 12 months. He got in contact with me to apologise for the way he left me in the lurch with his employment. Long story shortened, I offered him his job back, firstly part time till he got stronger and as he progressed l mentored him with the responsibility of work stuff and also personal stuff. 8 years on and still dry, he is now my only employee after downsizing. I work with him side by side every day and l shared every thing about my secret life as Annie and he helped me with my dissolved marriage and then coming out. He never judged me. He did his own research about my trans situation and talked about it to his psychologist. He is now my only male friend and we would do anything for each other. He credits me with saving his life by giving him a chance when he knew it was his last chance of staying clean as he saw a lot of people in his life dying from drugs and giving up. But he saved himself by determination through his challenges, l just gave him the tools to do it with my trust and now my love as a close friend. I saw something in him back then and l decided to help when no one else was including his ex best friend. Can't imagine life without him and we joke with each other we should get married now it's legal. This is the best story on here by quite the country mile Annie.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Unfortunately people take advantage of us. Even family. I have had my share of it more times than I care to think about. It is in my nature to help people if I can and I do. But maybe becoming wiser with age and knowing how far I am willing to go to offer that help has stopped me from being burned. I know it sounds weird but a quote from Robots the kids movie comes to mind. "See a need, Fill a need". But be careful who you do it for I guess. Rubenesque your story gave me goosebumps. You are truly a beautiful person and your kindness will be paid back tenfold.
-
gazpacho
7 years ago
I’m not a helpful person, though I don’t turn people away. About ten days ago someone dropped a weight on their foot at the gym. I’ve been babysitting since then. Hugs Gaz
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Needs bed in Sydney for 4 days from tomorrow going well but stressed. Can anyone help????? Big ask but message me if possible.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Same, burn me and we are done no matter who you are. Kindness can certainly be taken advantage of and it is sometimes a very hard lesson to learn. I could be cold, hard and unforgiving. Too trusting and loyal sometimes to those who don't deserve it.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
...especially when the answer is easy. Pure Peony is near-legendary but you didn't hear that from me. 😉🙃😄 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
...ya gorgeous thang ya are! Now seriously if you need a capital injection (aka a loan) or just need an ass to the matt friend? You know I'd never desert you. Dessert you for sure but you didn't ask about mixing a blueberry frape' and cleaning up in the morning. CM .... new 7-11 Slurpee flavour god - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
He had a motorcycle accident and was left with a head injury, broken back, permanent frontal lobe damage, short term memory loss and long term mental health issues. I would help him do his shopping, take him to appointments, pick up his daughter, look after his dog and help him write lists for his memory. Or just simply talked to him. It was a stretch sometimes. I don't know how it came about but he needed help and I was in a position to give at the time. Anyway it ran it's course and now he has a lovely girlfriend who has taken it on. LC.
-
madotara69
7 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51' I’m not a helpful person, though I don’t turn people away. About ten days ago someone dropped a weight on their foot at the gym. I’ve been babysitting since then. Hugs Gaz Sorry Gaz, the raxle yeah, it only works if you have a good spin cycle on a top loading washing machine Have you got a washing machine, imagine the lycra gym suit you could wash and rinse in a glass of water, other than that, do you wear clothes ever much over there in the tropical paradise, or fly free swing'n in the sea breeze ? We'd bring a machine too of course, do you reckon you could get up there, no probs bring a set of folding steps. Reckon easing the pain you're friend must be baring, a little amusement can be as good as a disprin and seeing you up there hands gripping the air to hang on riding that high quality raxle throughout each spin cycle, may have medicinal qualities.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I remember last year, a workmate( and friend, I guess ) messaged me from the Philippines...in need of assistance.She was in hospital...I knew of her existing medical problems...and didn't have $AUD500 to cover her hospital bill.Hospitals there don't let foreigners leave without paying their bill. I knew she needed to be back at work in 2 days, and had a plane to catch the next day.I also knew her family depended on her regular income, and her not returning would have consequences. I wasn't the first friend she messaged for help...but I was the only one that helped her.Which for her, was the biggest hurt. I knew her family's bills was where most of her money went...but she was still very insistent about setting up a repayment plan promptly. She's only young, in her mid 20's, and I think she took some life lessons from that experience.And I would help her again if asked.
-
The_Phoenix
7 years ago
Three highlights for me. Annie W, how anyone cannot see the person you truly are is beyond me. immeasurable love for your friends, even if they may not, be, actual friends. Madotara. what an amazing and selfless act of kindness and generosity. So many people think giving money is generous, when in fact the most generous thing we can do as humans is give our time. Rubenesque - what an experience, true compassion for someone in need. I have opened my house for friends before, but never a stranger. She was my work colleague, split with her long term boyfriend and things turned ugly. Both sides of the family turned, boyfriend found some rather hostile new mates, the type to be very fearful of, many of whom wound up in jail. I put myself at risk by having her stay but could not for the life of me see what may eventuate otherwise. When I lost my dad to cancer, we hadn't talked in years but when I saw her at the service I knew my heart was right. That was an awesome hug. Haven't really talked much since either, but I know for sure we have each others backs in a heartbeat. MidnightB, I'm in awe of your selflessness. it's testament to people like you that the world can be a better place, to place your own struggles on hold and give to others. Heart of gold my friend. BB
-
Sawadee
7 years ago
About October last year ' while driving my van down a road I rarely take. I see this old man trying to push his mobile buggy that had a flat battery. In the rear I could see a pair of crutches and a walking stick. So I pulled over , asked him to hop on and I'll push, I asked him where he lived he replied around the next corner.. When we got to the corner that next road was on a uphill.. So I asked him how far up he lived and he points to a boat on a trailer about 200 mtrs away. Well ' with the weight of the cart and the man himself ( a huge Fijian guy ) there was no way I could push it all the way up that hill. So I thought the only way was to put a rope on the front and tow him, but I had no rope.. but did have a strap i made good with. So I lifted the rear tailgate pulled the strap out and tied it on the front of his buggy and slowly moved up the hill, on the wrong side of the road with all the oncoming cars beeping and flashing their lights . Anyway , we got to the front of his housing commission house , I could see he had a long ramp he would normally drive his buggy up. So he asked me if I'd mind helping him push it up. Well intentioned , but there was no way the elderly gent could push , so again ' I asked him to hop on and I'll push.. Talk about a dead weight , Well I persevered and got him to the top where there was a right hand turn leading to his front door . He got off to open the front door leaving me holding the buggy. Well finally , I was in the middle of his lounge room with both him and his buggy safe and sound.. He was very appreciative offering me a coffee , I told him ' all good , as I had to get back to work . I do remember him saying , thank you and God bless " as I was leaving ..
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Thank you for your kind words. I go by the mantra treat someone as you would like to be treated. Karma, whatever it means to the individual. Acts of kindness do not have to be a big deal. In my job I do it everyday. Kudos to all those who have a giving and generous nature. Who see something wrong and try to help. I am very socially conscious. The world is a better place when people like Annie, Madotara, Rubenesque and even you BB step up and take on the responsibility of caring for someone who is need. MB
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Oh you sexy beast. Knowing I have you as my own ass to the mat friend is gold!! If I am ever in need I will be sure to call you. Blueberry frappe not my thing but sure am partial to a mango one. As for cleaning up.........................
-
sweetgem
7 years ago
1) Helped a friend out A friend of mine needed to go to the hospital for an operation, but she could not ask her parents to take her because she didn’t want them to know anything about that operation. Hence, I offered to take her, and so I took a day off work to be her driver and carer for that day; then be the runner between work and her house during her process of healing. I felt good to be able to help my friend out. 2) Sponsored a child for his education It was fate that the child’s educational needs were brought to my attention. Therefore, I signed him up and sponsored him for almost a decade, which I was proud of as I once lost my job amongst that decade. But I rather cut costs on my end than ceasing his sponsorship, because, to me, there was nothing more important than giving a child a chance to go to school, while I had no major urgency happening in my life at that time. It is blissful to be able to give back to the society. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
PurePeony
7 years ago
That is such a gentlemanly thing to do! So considerate! 👍 This thread is like "Chicken Soup for the Soul". 😃 I'm kinda hesitant to talk about the good I've done, but it involved money, lots of time, and lots of patient encouragement. I think atm, I might be suffering from compassion fatigue. I've foolishly given way too much for way too long. Suddenly, in an about-turn, I no longer want to give because I'm all "given out"... is there such a thing? 🤔
-
sohot60
7 years ago
What goes around does come around. I've been fortunate in life and blessed with everything I need. One story has remained with me for over 20+ years. At the time I owned a number of petrol stations and while working at one of them I befriended a you boy who found it hard as his father was in Gail and his mother was finding it hard to make ends meat. Every time he came into our store I use to have a bag of goodies ready for him. Chocolates, chips, but also grocery item that would help the rest of the family with day to day living. Bread, milk, Vegemite, soft drinks and a number of items. After a three month period a gentleman came into the store wearing a suit and tie asking for a job. We spoke for a while and mentioned that he was in jail and recently released, and how his son always spoke about me. I New exactly who he was, I was left speechless. NO ONE WOULD GIVE HIM A CHANCE. I employed him on the spot, no hesitation as he came across as a genuine individual struggling to make ends meat. He became my best work and a great friend. Loyal and trustworthy. I'll never forget him and his family and when ever I think of them, it puts a great big smile on my face. Unfortunately they moved interstate and we lost contact. We all go through hard times and sometimes a little help is all we need. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I will make a point of stopping for anyone on a motorcycle who appears to have issues. One hot day I was out riding saw a bike on the road side, just up the road from a big greasy stripe of oil. I went back, slipped in his oil spill, established he had a phone and help on the way. I then went and got him a couple of bottles of cold water. Bikers do look out for each other, I been helped out too.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
For my family and friends, I'd go to hell and back. What you offer depends on the circumstances but at best offer them a friend. Sometimes people don't know what they need, offer anyway. This is what being a mate is all about. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
A couple of mates knocked on my door one night and asked me to help out a girl who we went to school with. They asked me to accompany her to an abortion clinic......and pay for it, catholic family blah blah. Took the day off, withdrew all my motorbike savings, copped the sarcasm from the staff, took her home. Never heard from any of them again. Ever. Woman I was seeing bought a small trailer sailer, needed some work, so dickhead me volunteered. Redid the timber trims in teak, new rudder (with carbon fibre no less), sanded and painted the bottom, new Perspex etc. Week after it was finished she moved from Perth to Albany (500k). My daughters friends mum is a single mum who’s car was constantly breaking down, I paid for a mechanic to give it a full service and new battery, she paid me back about $75.00 before concocting a reason to end the friendship. I’m not so generous these days.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I believe what goes around comes around. Why not help someone who needs it, ex or no ex. Nice to be nice. Good on ya - Posted from rhpmobile
-
The_Phoenix
7 years ago
Yep, I’ve always been guilty of helping people, sometimes to my own detriment. PP, I don’t think you can run out of giving but we sure can sure be taken advantage of, which makes us more cautious and builds walls. I know myself I place too much trust in people who wrong me that they will change. I agree Phil, I’m a mad enthusiast adventure rider and have helped numerous stranded guys and girls out on the road. So many stories to tell, one sticks though as it wa as group ride west of mapleton, stinking hot summer day. I came around a bend on a tricky hill climb to find 20 or so others just watching one man struggle, Cleary defeated. I rode round them all, pulled up beside the guy and grabbed his bike before he fell backwards off the side of the track. He needed water, Shade and 1/2hr to cool his body, touch and go for him to be chopperd out. Takes a lot to piss me off but it was very clear he had been attempting this hill for a good 20mins without success and no one thought of helping. Too much ego to help. But, I would help any of them just the same. From my point of view there is no failure in helping, but failing to help messes with my conscience. B.B.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I would do anything for love but I won't do that... Jokes aside. I will do anything to help family and friends. Of course I have helped the odd stranger here and there but there's only so much one can do. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I’m a bit of a sucker, from hiring ex-cons who have minimal prospects to helping out exes financially. I figure if I get taken advantage of then well I guess I’m doing right by my conscience regardless, and karma will sort it out. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Hawt1
7 years ago
I had just flown back from Germany, big backpack on, caught the bus to Perth Central from airport to save some coin (I do things like this if I have time on my hands). So I leave the bus port thinking to get a feed.. walking up the road and see this punk screaming at this old Italian looking fella that he should "Go back to where he came from". I saw red... I crossed the street and marched over as fast as I could with my big bag on. Grabbed the punk on the shoulder and said "He has probably been here longer than you and you should pick on someone your own size". He surprised, took a step back and looked me up and down, I told the old bloke get out of here. I did see the punks shoulder dip... here it comes I thought and did my best to duck whilst still weighed down with the backpack, whoosh the fist flies over my head. I stood up straight, put my open hand forward as I slid my backpack off and said... ok I am ready now. Coward ass did run a few meters back then reached into his pocket.. I though gawd what's that a knife? He pulls out a spray can and starts scrawling.. trying to save face in front of this girl I reckon. I think whew and leave it at that. City full of people and no one helps the old bloke except me.
-
PurePeony
7 years ago
You hero! So many heroes and heroines in here! Due to the nature of my job and the large numbers I come into contact with, I've been subject to racism myself. I had two colleagues come forth to stand by me and tell the racists off on two separate occasions. I will never forget how awesome they were! 😍 Aussies are generally wonderful people although there are still racists scattered around.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Help your famiy and the true non-negotiable friends/partners that matter no end......the rest shouldnt matter until tbey do......not to say,being an afforble human isnt still reauired in daily existence just focus you love on the ones that you value .....or not ....no right or wrong here ,just different opinions of c&$/ ! Peace to all 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Xxalex
7 years ago
Op, only read the original post, so please forgive me if this seems a repeat of someone else.. You sound very much like me. I get strange looks and often given shit for helping people that have treated me bad in the past.. But it's just me and I'm just a compassionate person. You don't do it looking for a reward or anything. I'm currently in a similar position with an ex Fwb, that over Christmas just suddenly pushed me away and started ignoring me... Anyway, back to your question, I find myself doing whatever I can and feel comfortable with. Your internal compass is what you need to use to guide you. But also take on advise of close friends that you trust. As some people are assholes and will take advantage of your kindness. I usually go all out helping my mates and even ex mates. But if they come across as just using you, or your close friends point out that's what they think is going on, then back it off. It's a hard line to walk... Plus unfortunately, some people just don't want to make the effort themselves. I will usually try to help people as long as they are making an effort themselves to fix the situation. Most people who you have had a connection with at some point, who need help are genuine, and will appreciate you not turning your back on them... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Hawt1
7 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' You hero! So many heroes and heroines in here! Due to the nature of my job and the large numbers I come into contact with, I've been subject to racism myself. I had two colleagues come forth to stand by me and tell the racists off on two separate occasions. I will never forget how awesome they were! 😍 Aussies are generally wonderful people although there are still racists scattered around. The racists, unless they are aboriginals forget.. we are all immigrants in this strange land. Myself I am first generation from a Dutch immigrant.
-
PurePeony
7 years ago
Yonkers ago, I worked for a Dutch firm! 😃 I was so young then! 😛 I worked for two Dutch managers, and both of them were awesome! 👍 Wait a minute... isn't Hygge and Logam from your culture? 🤔 ❤ Hygge! Hard to pronounce initially until I realised that it's cougar but with an "H"! 😄
-
Hawt1
7 years ago
Um, no.. but I couldn't tell you anyway, I dont speak Dutch, I did learn German after I did immigrate there though. Hygge is a Danish word, so scandinavian. Here is what I did find to describe Hygge, Logam unless it is Malay I have no idea off (Dutch East Indies perhaps?). (I am not sure if we are allowed to post links, I have never tried?) Similar to the German concept of gemütlichkeit and the Dutch idea of gezelligheid, the warm and cozy lifestyle that hygge promotes has been a key part of Danish culture since the early 1800s when the word first appeared in the written language (it's derived from a Norwegian word for "well-being"). While hygge—which is used as both a noun and adjective in Denmark—is more of a way of life for Danes, it caught on as a lifestyle trend in the UK in 2016 after several books about the topic were published.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I think I'm about to find out how far I am able to go.Recently I helped a friend with moving house, no dramas there but the plot thickens.He's an ex fighter pilot and during his time in one of the world's air forces he had a few dramas which have left him in a not so good physical condition, not to mention his PTSD.The day after he shifted his wife went out to lunch with her son and he hasn't seen her since. That was a week ago.She may or may not have left permanently, we'll find out eventually.My mate has extreme difficulty walking due to cerebellum ataxia, I have in the past taken him to medical appointments. So there he is in a house surrounded by packed boxes which he can't do a damn thing with. I'm going round on Sunday to give him a hand and others have helped out too.I've heard it said and I do believe that before you can look after someone else you must look after yourself.
-
Andyjayyy
7 years ago
Sometimes you just have to have faith in people and take a chance. Young chinese lady here on language study, got quite sick, then couldn't work at the restaurant. Out of money for rent and bills. Parents poor, she becoming desperate. Well my faith was repaid and I believe this money helped her in the most critical way. We good trusted friends now and I couldn't be happier to see she is all good again.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
But apparently me n he are great for taking on our 'friends' (funny none of them are around any more) unwanted pets (or else they were going to the vet). We did it more for the pet, as you can imagine. And MidnightBlue, I was insensitive to you recently, I am very sorry for that. Peachy
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Hm, I'll look out for practical strangers too, good on you Hawt1. I've put my body on the line before to protect a woman from her partner (who I did know) because he was harrassing her at a party. He'd apparently already broken her arm but that didn't seem to bother anyone there. He bailed us up in a room where we were talking. We'd retreated to standing on the bed and I was working on getting us out of there! Then perfect timing, just as I was telling him my husband would not believe his lie that I caused the problems, hubby walks in. We got her out of there, and because a warning was given that we were leaving, he ended up out the front as we were getting in the car. I headbutted him in the stomach twice to keep him away, lol. I earned respect from him apparently (I had no choice but to run into him in future but... just no. I/we've helped with moving a friend to a new house. Ah yes, the stranded driver... In our case, it was an aboriginal couple who were delighted considering how they were usually viewed. Sorry to hear how so many have been 'used'. That reminds me of a couple, we were friends with for a while, who would hock their kid's game machine for money... We lent them one of our children's machines, not that we are well off either but we were better off, only to find much later that it was in the hock shop. Yep, the abuse we copped when we insisted on them returning it to our children. We found out later they'd stolen something from us, it was only small but apparently they decided we weren't using it right now, so we didn't need it anymore. Peachy, made up of many parts
-
RHP User
7 years ago
The animals weren't going to the vet, but the pound if we didn't take them. We did form very loving relationships with them, only 1 left now besides one of our children's dogs. We have to say no to any more because the Cat is the boss of the house in no uncertain terms. Just quietly, sometimes he scares me... Peachy, loves her pets...
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I am a serial “helper”. I will help anyone in need, a n particular women and the elderly. I’ve jumped into fights, crossed major highways to help someone, walked an old lady through a shopping centre carrying her groceries (she did have to park at the other end of the Centre), picked up hitchhikers, stopped for broken down cars (ebmven though I know fuck all about cars) and even ran into a yard where a house was in fire (no emergency services were on scene yet). I just can’t help but try and help. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Is love - Posted from rhpmobile
-
EarthQueen
7 years ago
Really like this movement. I’m a member of the FB page and it’s easy to help people out in little ways. I also have little anonymous cards Random Acts Of Kindness that I leave with little presents for people. Usually at work because we have an emotionally draining job. You can get them for free online. They are really cute. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
MY mate is in a bad way mentally and physically. His wife who did a disappearing act on him has not been in touch with him but has told the Police she's not a missing person. She's also told the real estate agent she doesn't want to be included in the new lease of the house they've just shifted into. She also told the real estate she didn't want to talk to anybody, then rang me while I was at his place, I didn't take the call, even though I was tempted to answer and give the phone to him. He needs more help than I am able to give but I'm doing what I can for him as often as I can. He is so lame he needs to have someone hold his hand for balance if he is to walk across an open space. I take him to the shops and get him a trolley and off he goes.He's a bit over a year older than me chronologically but more like twenty years older biologically, being ex military he's older than me psychologically.Anyway that's enough talk about age, since the age related thread went west.Did you see what I did there?
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I'm wondering if it would have made any difference to answer that call and get her POV. Of course, I only know the bare bones from what you've said here and have no idea how much you know of the full situation,but I can imagine a couple of different scenarios a woman might choose to disappear. A pro and a con. Peachy :-)
-
RHP User
7 years ago
But with the #metoo movement...Many years ago I had issues with a male elder from a family I had to associate with regularly. I told him more than once to keep their hands off my arse. Going so far as to explain why not (yep, didn't have a lot of confidence in my mid 20s). One time I was bent over and the hand ended up between my legs (I wasn't wearing underwear as my way of being), so that made it even more of an intrusion. I said nothing till he and I were headed home and then broke down. We did not see that family for many years till I accidentally dialed their number. We went back and I experienced exactly the same thing that day, wtf! (undies on this time, and always felt a bit undressed in that persons company there ever after). The way things were did not allow another withdrawal and care was always taken thereafter. Not too many months later, the man in question's wife. My lil family stayed at their home for a week, me running back and forth between houses to care for pets and such. The last night of our stay, on the day of our funeral, my daughter told me she was mishandled (same as me, bent over looking at something, I kept a lid on it considering the circumstances). Right up until she came up and told me she heard him blaming me for the break we'd had for the many years in the first place. At that moment, with the person who had been the reason for maintaining contact gone forever, we retreated to one of the bedrooms with a double bunk bed to sleep safely together and minimised contact there ever after. We Got up in the morning and left. Some contact was maintained... When it came near time to his demise years later, he had dementia and I was there for the appointments he needed regularly (alongside hubby) without a qualm.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
I very much appreciate the heart you are showing to do your very best by your mate. Peachy
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'PeachyPearL' I'm wondering if it would have made any difference to answer that call and get her POV. Of course, I only know the bare bones from what you've said here and have no idea how much you know of the full situation,but I can imagine a couple of different scenarios a woman might choose to disappear. A pro and a con. Peachy :-) He's my friend, she's his ex...
-
RHP User
7 years ago
This thread proves it. I have done some helping out from giving money, giving rides, a place to stay, being an ear, a pair of arms, providing tissues, encouragement etc. Why wouldn't do whatever I can when I have been the recipient of incredible generosity. From the friends who got me to the airport when I was leaving a violent husband to the people who took me in the other end, to the guy who changed my tyre when I was on my way to a funeral to the people who offered me accommodation when I was traveling around Ireland to the friends who chipped in to get me to a Festival in NZ to the friend who gave me cheap rent when I was broke and the friends who've been my ear, my shoulder, my pair of arms. So yes, I'd go fair way to help someone.
-
RHP User
7 years ago
For me it comes down to why they need help. If it's a self inflicted reason I'd be less inclined. An ex housemate who has become a very close friend recently had her car written off. This car was her world (a rare Jap supercar) and insurance has been problematic from the party at fault but rectified now. On top of this she has split up with her abusive bf and had to move back with her mother (and they do Not get along). With her and the car at opposite ends of Melbourne she can't get around so I've been her chauffeur and emotional sounding board and shoulder to cry on for the last two weeks. Have travelled about 1200kms over countless hours. I have absolutely no problems whatsoever doing this and have done this without thought. I have had some praise for this, but why? Isn't this what you do for real friends? If I have the time and resources spare then I never even think if a friends in trouble, I just help. But I do know I'm in the minority in these days of rampant disrespect and selfishness. Nobody seems to give a shit about anyone else today unless there's something in it for them. Self importance is skyrocketing at an alarming rate which is why I'm engaging with the world less and less. Unless a friend needs me. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
7 years ago
First let me say this. When you have loved someone, you will always love them. No matter how bitter or traumatic the breakup, love never dies. So I would think it would be the most natural thing to do, to help your ex if they were in real need. I'm still good friends with my two ex-boyfriends. In fact I was best man at Jose's wedding. On the question of how far would I go, my approach has always been quite simple. Other people matter just as much as me. I have (to the local hipster's horror) taken off my jacket and given it to the homeless guy outside the tube. When my friend asked what I was doing, my reply was "he needs it more than me."
-
RHP User
7 years ago
Well the wheels keep turning, she's left him for good. He needs more help than I can give, others are helping out and his family is going to take him back to their state so they can be there for him. It's pretty confronting watching the debilitation, his prognosis is encouraging.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share