M35
How has your view on sex changed over time?
June 21 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Please come look me up in 20 years! To have such great insight at such a young age......you are going to have an incredible journey and be truly amazing by the time you reach 40! Enjoy!
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RHP User
11 years ago
There's a couple of recent threads similar to this - what guys really think about sex and what women really think about sex. It might be worth a read.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'karynb' Please come look me up in 20 years! To have such great insight at such a young age......you are going to have an incredible journey and be truly amazing by the time you reach 40! Enjoy! he has all the brains and the errrrrm other bits to go with it.I have frequent flyer points young man...
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RHP User
11 years ago
And I agree, without a connection sex is often ordinary.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I should qualify that. I attend swingers clubs and sex parties however I often stick to my regular lovers or only have sex with people I have a connection with... And that is usually something I see in their eyes, the naughty glint perhaps? I rarely have sex with just anyone and the few times I do ... The sex is okay but not great. Which is why I have this rule. If I can take it or leave it. I leave it. But then again.... Maybe I haven't tried to have sex with enough people?? Lol. I also don't have this sort of connection often at all. :(
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
has totally mutated over the years. I was in a rush to grow up so sex initially for me felt empowering as I rushed around looking for conquests, that soon felt pretty ordinary, but was still interesting to me. Then I met a man who taught me about actually loving the person you're fucking and having sex with an emotional connection. That felt pretty good for a while until the sex dried up. Yeah so that didn't last and then I met and had a relationship with a sex addict. A smart but slightly crazy guy who turned me into his little project. Although I might honestly say that was one of the darkest periods of my life (because at his core he was a cowardly, abusive arsehole) , he actually taught me heaps. So besides all the personal lessons I got from the whole experience - sexually he broke down lots of my barriers and conditioning. We did lots of tantric work together. But he was a really damaged person. But at least he taught me a few tricks. Inthecity's final comment about connection, openness and mutual confidence in your sexuality is spot on.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Myview of sex has changed over time - if it wouldn't how could I claim to be growing up and maturing? For majority of people who get married early without experiencing life (in full time relationship) with more than the one person sex does indeed become somewhat a chore, a way of satisfying and boning together, but it does become less and less exciting... me and my wife have been lucky to discover this lately and decided to open our relationship - at which time sex life has picked up incredibly, but also the view of sex has dramatically changed. Sex has been for centuries confined to the bedrooms and been hidden from public view, at the same time deliberately portrayed by society as "bad" and "dirty". Organised religion and politics have a lot to answer for that, but in the end just as we have matured as a couple in our relationship I believe society as a whole will mature one day and become more open and liberated. I view sex as one of the great pleasures in life - while it is enjoyed between two people who use it as their bond and sign of commitment to each other it should be also available to enjoy with others (a friend with benefits perhaps) to each partner, otherwise their view of what life and sex is will always remain limited and narrow. Let me give you a good example here - I've been overseas many times, and immensely enjoyed travel and excitements of the trip... But every time I see the big red country under the wings of the airplane I get excited over and over again to be back in Australia! In the same way I see the sex (and love) of returning to my wife - does not make the encounters with friends any better or worse :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey - thanks for the comments. Some of them are really nice - but my post wasn't meant to be about me :).I read through some of those topics "what guys" and "what girls" think about sex. And some of the responses were really interesting - and led me to writing this post.What I'm interested in is how you got to that heightened stage of sexual being. And then how that differs for each individual. Also how the end result differs. I've met and talked to different people all of which seem to have "their" way of having sex as subtle as the changes might be. Some screw like straight out of a hardcore porno, others like an erotic film or an R rated sex scene from a 90s film. My point is - everyone has their style and that style is influenced by certain things in each individuals life.So what are these things?Was it reaching a certain age, libido or realisation, having a relationship with a "crazy sex addict", reading a book or was it going signing up to one of these adult dating sites?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Also I find your stories really cool - thanks for sharing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthecity421' What I'm interested in is how you got to that heightened stage of sexual being. Was it reaching a certain age, libido or realisation, having a relationship with a "crazy sex addict", reading a book or was it going signing up to one of these adult dating sites? I have always been a highly sexual being, and told I exude sexual energy. However, I found myself in several relationships where the sex was good, but not exactly adventurous. When my last relationship ended, I had a look around the dating websites and quickly decided I wanted sex without the effort of dating. I joined RHP last September and have done things I didn't know excisted until then. It's been a wild ride and I have never felt so liberated. I was most certainly a late bloomer and didn't get into swinging until I was 39, but doubt I'll ever revert to my previous lifestyle. Life is gooooood.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My Ex was a very sexual man and although we were together fir many years we experimented with some not so traditional ideas, I was lucky to have such an open minded man who encouraged me to ex- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Damn iPhone! As I was saying......I was lucky to have such an open minded man to explore with. Then a lover encouraged me to push the boundaries further, he was no doubt a sex addict, and we had delicious times together. I continued with the exploration even after I split with both these men..... I think circumstances and people have encouraged my growth- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think when I was in my 20's sex was more about rutting if you know what I mean. Or maybe that was young men back in my day. Now that I am older and have been with older men I find that sex is a more sensual, it can last for hours. There is more touching, kissing and teasing. More foreplay in general.The experimenting for me was always there although I never really found like minded people until I joined RHP and met my mentor you might say. So I have done many new things for the first time in the last three years.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've always had a high sex drive, & I've been lucky to have many varied sexual experiences, one of my first lovers was 11'... that was an education :-) taught me how to give great headjobs & to ride :-) so for me I would have to say being open minded & nonjudgmental has given me the opportunity to explore diff sexual encounters & I've found my sexual partners have opened up about topics & their sexual needs. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I never was one of them guys who wanted to screw anyone and everyone for the hell of it like some of my mates. Being selective has worked for and against me over time' but overall not too many regrets. I can only think of one occassion I couldn't wait to get out of. That was just bad judgement on my behalf but taught me something about the importance of two way attraction. Rarely do I watch porn now. How many ways can a girl suck a cock or root ? Only a few , but with porn it's the same thing with different people and camera angles. ? Nothing better than clicking with someone sexually and seeing it through. Usually begins with a glance , a smile a knowing look. Getting horny when chatting over a few drinks is far better than any porn and is the best signal ever.. Can't complain about the girls and couples I've meet here , but still prefer the face to face of the real world.. It just seems to happen that way..
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RHP User
11 years ago
You have just reinforced what a few of us "mature" ladies have been saying...that there are young guys out there who know what they're on about sexually and certainly can hold their own!Now back to your question...Ive had 2 long term vanilla relationships that have stifled me-though i didnt really realize that at the time...now as a single, i feel liberated since joining this site and others, and finally exploring the areas that ive long held a curiosity for. So I guess for me its about finding a partner whether long term or not who understands your needs, pushes the right buttons, is a little kinky and open minded. Its about being honest to yourself about what you do and dont like, about your fantasies etc...when you can be open about these things and freely explore-even with a partner-then that will be a wonderful sexual connection!
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madotara69
11 years ago
I would be saying this, same as if sitting at the table with you slickz. The question " if I could go back in time and change things"? There is not much I would risk changing for where the road has lead to. We got married and had children young, and for years most energy went to seeing through the commitments that a handshake was made to, pride in workmanship and being a family left time for a quickie more often than not. We have taken some hard knocks, friends are more important than money, so we never had much of that. We have an open and honest relationship with our kids which is a comforting feeling as they are becoming adults able to speak easy for what ever the subject.It has only been in the last few years, we have realized, a friendship has become the gift for the hard years spent, that's a thing. So we have been finding more time to explore the pleasure and passion that comes from the comfort of being open and trusting with each other, we enjoy sharing thoughts and fantasy, which leads to some pretty naughty shit, though we have learnt to make the best of things as they present to happen, having been enjoying some pretty awesome feelings that only begin once reaching the state of euphoria, Sounds like you have been part with that. Just maybe at a time where the world was waiting for you, and you for it. Carry on, you will be right.Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
and by the way....those epileptic fits are kundilini baby.....as it rises up it can create anything from sudden jerk like aftershocks and involuntary movements of the body to spacing out or periodically tranceing. Not always tripping like in it's manifestation though. I recently had a sensation that came over me while shopping in the supermarket (after a session with a lovely guy). At first I just thought I had indigestion, then it began to mimic, what seemed like, a heart attack. I felt as if my chest was tight and was expanding from the inside out, like an inflating balloon, but, at the same time with the strangest euphoria? I thought faaarrk!! As I was hanging onto the shelves in the cereal isle. Consequently I ended up leaving without half the shopping I went there to get.
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RHP User
11 years ago
@deepbluesumthingYeh that is exactly it. She would get it in waves after sex for about an hour - and would sometimes combine it with a very strange laugh while it was happening.It's a funny sight - (although I would never laugh as to remain polite), it did always make me feel amused. But honestly it makes me jealous as to what the female body is capable of feeling.
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RHP User
11 years ago
absolutely loved your response. I really like your values in life :).Seriously - respect.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When I think about it, I realise just how many things have influenced my sexual development over the years and brought me to the path I'm currently on. Past boyfriends and FWBs, visual and written pornography, books and other readings, documentaries, increasing age (bringing more experience, maturity and willingness to experiment), and of course internet sites - particularly RHP and its forums, which have broadened my outlook immensely and introduced me to a whole new sexual world. It's not without its frustrations (mainly due to living in a small regional city), but the last few months have also seen some very positive and amazingly fun and naughty experiences, and I hope that's just the beginning!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
How could I forget the discovery of masturbation as an influencing factor. I was relatively late in discovering that particular pleasure, but once I did I quickly learned so much more about my body and what really gets me off...
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'slickz' @deepbluesumthingYeh that is exactly it. She would get it in waves after sex for about an hour - and would sometimes combine it with a very strange laugh while it was happening.It's a funny sight - (although I would never laugh as to remain polite), it did always make me feel amused. But honestly it makes me jealous as to what the female body is capable of feeling. slickz, you clearly show the values with honesty, it is that honesty with with a humble manner to your thoughts shared with us here, something others will be jealous towards you. As we all can clearly see, these fine ladies in these forums have responded fondly for the respect you hold for them. It is these values within the man and alike you that is capable to seek within the ocean of depths and complicated being, the lady. Their feelings so many as orgasm becomes them. and for that is the ladies respect for you. These horny ladies we are amongst for you saying jealous, see you being capable.I might sit here a while and warm to the glow in here.Mado
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Coops27M
11 years ago
@slickz It's great to see another young and intelligent fella out there more interested in the continual discovery of sexuality and your ability to provide your partners with a pleasurable experience. I for one have always been more interested in satisfying a woman's needs more than my own. I don't have much respect for men that use and abuse women for their own satisfaction and i never will. I personally am still early on the path and am inexperienced and uneducated, which will definitely not speed up the process if repeat performances aren't welcomed :). But i'm in no rush and am confident that continuing with my current mindset the future will be filled with great times :) The opinions and knowledge of you guys on here is invaluable and i'm very appreciative! - Posted from rhpmobile
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