M49 F51
How is your relationship after having threesome?
June 08 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
... to unlocking the door as to whether that experience is ''right or wrong'' for you both. I would suggest that until the fulcrum fully rests on the side of enhance your experiences as a couple, it may be time to rethink and discuss... nothing is worth destroying a relationship based one love. If there is a single doubt... don't go there. S
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RHP User
9 years ago
a threesome with 2 guys or 2 girls?
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
It's very important to discuss it fully before taking the next step. No one needs to feel pressurised into doing anything that they are uncomfortable with, as if you don't fully discuss your feelings and concerns, before embarking on this, it could impact negatively on your relationship. - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
So your age should come into play here as you are both mature adults with life experience, and that experience should enable you to make the right decisions.If you have been together for a short while then knock yourself out and go for it as you haven't a lot to loose, if you have been together for years then there is no excuse for fucking up your relationship as you both should know what the other person feels and fears. Yes the obvious advice is communication, a 12 yr old can tell you that. There is very little discussion that needs to happen as Mrs C knows what she wants. Mr C needs to engage in some critical thinking which should lead to a bit of self discovery. What is discovered determines the outcome and not an involved conversation. I'm guessing that you are wanting MFM going by your last post. Now Mr C needs to be very comfortable with his partner being fucked royally by a bull, its not good enough that the Mrs C wants it, Mr C needs to want to see it, and feel it. Mr C needs to want his wife cumming from another man, and enjoy all that it brings. Mr C should be happy if Mrs C wants to swallow or be covered in another mans cum. The MFM play is very confronting for all of the obvious reasons.Is Mr C happy for kissing?, is intimacy an issue?.....if it is then this is not for you. Mrs C may want to be intimate with her bull, and in my books that's perfectly normal as she is her own person with free will and she should not be constrained by a jealous partner, this is her time to enjoy all of the pleasures afforded to her unencumbered. Remember this is full on sex and when the weird get going the weird turn pro. You must have an open mind as it is self rewarding. The only person who has a say is Mrs C, you need to remember that. If you see something that you don't like but Mrs C is more than happy with what's being done then suck it up and be happy that she is having the time of her life. Emotions can run high and at your age you should be well equipped to deal with it..........if not then what the fuck have you been doing with your life. Its all about her and your need to see her being fucked well, this is not a long conversation its a mutual agreement.......or not.
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zzzyyyxxx
9 years ago
we have had some very good & some very bad experiences with Males. Some really get it & are a great addition, some think its all about them. If you find the right person its great fun, male or female.
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JohnAnn2227
9 years ago
Hi, You both need to be really honest with each other and use the extra partner as purely an enhancement to your relationship. It is going to be purely sex with the extra partner not love! Good luck!Ann & John
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RHP User
9 years ago
We never thought we'd be able to play or share with others..but we would often talk about our sex with others before we met.What we discovered was neither of us gave a hoot about each others previous lovers,but loved hearing about the experience.So we presumed we weren't jealous,and went from there.Now it is a real treat to have a MFM.He loves watching my face as another man plays with me,and I love seeing him with another woman.What it has done is improve our sex life tremendously..We cannot wait to get our hands on each other when the other party or parties have left.We've been known to absolutely crack up and laugh at each other when we've been with others.Great fun..BUT ..if you have the slightest hint of jealousy,then don't do it..not worth it..
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd suggest waiting until it's down. Socialsuicide's post may have been rather harsh but there is an element of truth to it, that you need to be aware of. And even if your goal is MFF, your wife has already expressed her concerns, so you guys are just not ready yet! Swinging needs to come naturally and without inhibition, yes there will be nervousness and concerns, but unless both parties enter with utmost enthusiasm and trust in each other, it may be a difficult journey. Good luck!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' I'd suggest waiting until it's down. Socialsuicide's post may have been rather harsh but there is an element of truth to it, that you need to be aware of. And even if your goal is MFF, your wife has already expressed her concerns, so you guys are just not ready yet! Swinging needs to come naturally and without inhibition, yes there will be nervousness and concerns, but unless both parties enter with utmost enthusiasm and trust in each other, it may be a difficult journey. Good luck! You guys have valid points. Basically when we role play it/talk about it she gets all hot and turned on about it. It's actually my idea for MFM. She asked me about WMW and I told her thats good too but I get more turned on thinking of MFM. Everything social_suicide said I would be ok with - for me seeing those things being done to my wife is a turn on. For me though I would want to be an active participant too. I think I wouldn't mind just watching for a while but for the most part I would want to be participating. She told me one of her concerns is that she would resent me for letting her do it and I told her she shouldn't - I told her she shouldn't resent me because it's something I would want for both of our pleasure. If she doesn't like it then we shouldn't do it. She also said what if she likes the sex more from him - I told her she just might but in the end I'm your husband and you're with me. Lastly she said what if she gets emotionally attached to him - I told her its supposed to be for physical pleasure. There may be some emotional connectivity too but if it gets to a point where it's more than just a night of great sex with 2 guys then we need to stop/don't do it. Thoughts anyone?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I totally disagree!! I man doesn't need to just "suck it up!" Couples can have totally different deal breakers. Kissing may be one of them. Whatever it is, if one partner is not comfortable with it they shouldn't have to suck it up just to make the other happy!! Maybe Im wrong but any relationship is a partnership with both having opinions that count! - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
We have had a few 3 somes (& 4 somes) since we embarked on this adventure in 2013. You asked " How is your relationship after having a threesome?" We think that before one even has a 3 some, one needs to establish how strong one's relationship is, as if there are issues (insecurity, jealousy, disrespect, lack of trust etc) , then these could lead to problems after the 3 some. One also needs to establish why one would want to experience a 3 some, what the main motivation is. For us it was about expanding our sexual boundaries, about trying something new, something "naughty" and "taboo". We found that aspect of it to be quite exciting. Swinging has, we feel, not only spiced up our sex life, but also brought us closer as the "shared" experiences have certainly added to our already strong & exciting marriage. It is important to talk about what one wants and what one ideally expects to happen. Establish your likes, dislikes,boundaries and ground rules. You would not want someone to do something that makes either of you uncomfortable and or that may infringe on on your boundaries. The only way to ensure that this does not happen, is to talk about it and be very open & honest with one another. It is also important to talk with the other person, so as to ensure that they too know what your boundaries and ground rules are. That way they will not overstep the mark. If everyone is on the same page, and knows what / what not to do, then everything should run smoothly and there should be no negative feelings / experiences as a result of the 3 some. We also feel that it is important to have a "debriefing session" afterwards, so as to discuss how one felt, was it as good as one had hoped, would one consider doing it again etc? What one does not want is for either party to feel used and for there to be any resentment. As a married couple, we are in this together, and we are here for one another and we do look out for one another / look after one another and if either of us are uncomfortable we both know that we can stop the proceedings at any time.
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Quoting 'leeleigh' I totally disagree!! I man doesn't need to just "suck it up!" Couples can have totally different deal breakers. Kissing may be one of them. Whatever it is, if one partner is not comfortable with it they shouldn't have to suck it up just to make the other happy!! Maybe Im wrong but any relationship is a partnership with both having opinions that count! - Posted from rhpmobile Well lets say that Ms C is loving whatever is being done to her by the bull, her emotions are running and she lets herself get carried away in the presence of her husband. Mr C doesn't like it, not out of his concern for Mrs C as she is having a great time but out of?.........what? So Mr C has a right to dictate to Mrs C what she is allowed to enjoy? because he isn't comfortable with Mrs C's sexuality. Sorry but the best sex is when everyone releases and enjoys the moment guilt free, unconstrained. Lee it all depends on what type of sex you are wanting or are comfortable with. As a couple ( 20yrs) we love guilt free uninhibited sex. As you pointed out, others may not and that's ok as its also ok to love the aforementioned.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I Quoting 'social_suicide' So Mr C has a right to dictate to Mrs C what she is allowed to enjoy? because he isn't comfortable with Mrs C's sexuality. Sorry but the best sex is when everyone releases and enjoys the moment guilt free, unconstrained. Lee it all depends on what type of sex you are wanting or are comfortable with. As a couple ( 20yrs) we love guilt free uninhibited sex. As you pointed out, others may not and that's ok as its also ok to love the aforementioned. I think the point leeleigh was making is that if both partners aren't in agreement with kissing someone else or anal sex, for example, then it shouldn't happen as that could drive a wedge between them later on. It's not about dictating what the other can enjoy but exploring mutual pleasures as a couple. It's great that you love uninhibited sex but not everyone will be like that as you pointed out yourself. Mr D
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
What if Mr C was enjoying the 3some, but Mrs C was not . Would she be expected to " suck it up " be happy and take one for the team ? Rather than communicate her feelings and perhaps stop proceedings and thus spoil Mr C's enjoyment ? As a couple (married / partners) it's about the mutual enjoyment of both. If one party is not enjoying something then it is essential, we feel, that the "play" is stopped without fear of any guilt or blame. In this "game" there is no room, we feel, for pushy, selfish people. We do things together. We play only if BOTH of us want to play. And we look after one another. OP, if there are feelings of doubt, concern and or insecurity (what if ??) then we feel that you BOTH are not yet ready to embark on this "adventure" together. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's good that you and Mrs C are both aware of the potential for things to get difficult. The fact that you're aware and still concerned about these things means you're probably not ready to act this scenario out yet, not matter how hot it makes you feel in theory. If you were aware and quietly confident that the concerns wouldn't be an issue, then you'd be ready to step past the nervousness and take the plunge. Don't screw up your prime relationship on a 'maybe'
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Yes indeed. Lots of talking & communication 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Yes indeed. Lots of talking & communication 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Having been the invited on a few occasions. I have my rules also. For me ,meeting both is important for a few reasons. First of course is to see if there's a attraction and get a feel for the posibilites , I need to know if the couple are mentally prepared and their boundary's. If I sense either is under prepared , I'll pull the plug and explain why. However , if there's a attraction and the meeting flows, we can usually look forward to some good clean fun. Some hubby's like to watch a fantasy unfold while otheres like get involved. I'm a straight male so i make sure i let them know it's all about satisfying the lady. Usually , that's what they want anyway.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My 2 cents is, sometimes you don't know exactly how you feel until you are in the situation. If you have doubts then there are warning bells. If you go ahead you might surprise yourselves and love it or then again be completely shocked by your negative emotions. I think there is amount one or the other can suck up out of sacrifice for the other member of the couple. But that can only go so far before it begins to cause damage. It's a very delicate line. Some are better at sucking it up than others and not holding a grudge..... Xx L - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
You made it sound much clearer lol I cant understand how it can be the best most satisfying sex if one partner was feeling uncomfortable/unhappy with something that is happening. I actually think its quite selfish. I personally could not enjoy myself if I knew my partner was uncomfortable or upset. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
9 years ago
Our relationship is as it always has been, tight. Your wife's questions, concerns, intuition, care, caution, or however you see it, she's fair in asking you, it's important you communicate and it's important you tackle the difficult questions. Personally if there is no difficult questions then there is something missing in the relationship, are you trying to mend an already troubled relationship, or are you tight and good friends, in love and have each other's backs for some fun together ? It's different than how you imagine it, there will be some reckoning to deal with if you do this together, we don't have jealousy issues, there is other emotions that come into play and need to be experienced, then the feelings better understood by communicating with each other, wear your feelings on your sleeves and care to them with a positive frame of mind, it is not something blame should be put upon each other if things don't go the way they may be expected with the 'what if's' Keep communicating and respect your wife's input, answer her honestly and as it is she is an equal to you with everything isn't she ? Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Like some of you said, you won't be certain how you feel until it happens and if you try it, stop the moment someone doesn't like something. The idea of "sucking it up" might work to some degree in certain situations but I think with this I wouldn't want her to do something she doesn't like and vice versa - with some amount of lee way I suppose. Also if you say don't do it if you have doubts/concerns, that makes some sense but isn't there doubts/concerns with anything? This is not a really good example, but what if I'm driving and I think about going faster than the speed limit? I may ask myself, "what if I get caught by the police?" or "what if I get in an accident?" To that I think to myself, take your chances - be careful and if something doesn't feel right then slow down/stop. My wife has her concerns/what ifs and I said to her if at any point one of us isn't comfortable about something then we need to let the other and/or the third person know. She's still on the fence - she'll probably won't be decisive until it's close to the time frame when we may do it, which is when we're on vacation alone far from friends and family. I appreciate everyone's comments/advice so far and hope to hear more!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm with social suicide on this one. If you feel uncomfortable with anything your partner is doing sexually, why would you? It should turn you on to see them in ecstasy. I could seriously just sit back and pleasure myself watching my partner get off with someone else (my imaginary partner lol) if I wasn't into what they were doing or there was no place for my joining them at that moment. Social suicide, you have it sorted, exactly the type of relationship, the only kind, I would enter into. No restriction, no control of the other. I don't see the point in that, just reduces their pleasure, why bother?
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social_suicide
9 years ago
ITM2 I suppose we are all different with what we want, you and I love great organic sex others can only manage a more clinical experience. From what I can work out there are 2 types of boundaries.1 ;boundaries that took 47secs to establish because both partners immediately agree that they don't want to be involved in for example kissing.2; the long discussion about kissing as one wants to kiss and other feels its too intimate, this type of boundary is just a self protecting wall that is established not out of respect but out of jealousy or some faux bullshit like " this should be just between the 2 of us honey" lol What is being conflated here is the issue of those 2 types of boundaries. The first type isn't even a discussion as both have agreed so the only issue would be when the bull tries to kiss Mrs C and Mrs C says "no" end of story.Now lets say that Mrs C is under the directorship of the 2nd type of boundary and lets it all go and decides to kiss her bull, which I think is what is being discussed here and is what I have been referencing. This is when Mr C needs to suck it up and get over his self serving boundaries/walls. There is a massive difference between mutual agreement and being coerced into agreeing. Its the coercion I'm addressing. I have a feeling that some of these walls are based on coercion which I have zero respect for.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for verbalising what I couldnt put into words. The difference between mutual agreement and coersion. It can be a fine line that some people know how to blur to get their own outcome... With people they love. Not just with sex but in many parts of their relationship. Cheers
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RHP User
9 years ago
Very well said. When me and my then wife experimented with this, we didn't have boundry's as such. I think we both accepted you can't separate intimacy. What's the point of having a rule that takes away the very thing that kick starts everything. ? To be honest , I wasn't even thinking about it until they ' started kissing. This kinda made me feel uneasy and tugged at the heartstrings abit , BUT ' I quickly figured it's hard not to have one without the other. I knew I had to pull my head in and let it pass, and I did . Funny thing is , when he entered her this didn't faze me at all , watching her being pleasured was amazing. Her big smile and thumbs up made it all fall into place. This is something you can't do in halves. Either accept it for what it is , exciting and liberating or don't go there at all.
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RHP User
9 years ago
There is no guarantee of anything so could always go either way. Before deciding I'd think about why you want to do it, what are your motives and what do you hope to gain, is there anything missing from the relationship etc. It can be really helpful to do this in a neutral environment with a professional who is sensitive to the lifestyle. Any sexual activity outside the relationship should only be done to enhance the relationship and you need to feel very safe and security within that relationship before it can work. Go slow, there is no rush just make sure it's not trying to fix any issues.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You both have to be in a strong relationship and willing to accept this as pleasure for her. If there is doubt with jealousy don't, You must treat the guy as an invited guy for your pleasure not his and he has to accept that. Many will try to back door you later. Don't get involved with the same guy over and over, that invited problems. If you have strict rules between yourselves on what you can and cant do, and then apply rules to the guy then you should be ok. I can tell you from my experience that if the guy loves his wife, likes watching her being fucked but at the same time getting pleasure and the lady likes her man to enjoy her pleasure then you will have an awesome time
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RHP User
8 years ago
mate, take your time, pick out only those your both happy with, you dont have to fuck just coz you meet. having the desire to please each other with or without company is all that matters , male or female, if you truely love each other it matters not who else is involved . you are both the "ring masters" not those you invite, ... having said that, how far do you want to take your kink , just realise sooner or later ther will come a time when bounderies will be tested, having the maturity to deal with those situations together will ensure your continued enjoyment of the swinging life-style. most of all.... have fun with each other befor and after. after all it is about your enjoyment. start slow with tenderness and she will respond and grow {glow} bask in your love making while you can non are promised tomorrow and life has enough regretts without denile. hope this helps............ with love Jonathan XX
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ReyandJean
8 years ago
We've found foursomes less confronting than threesomes. One of the things in favour of a having another couple involved is that you can stop at same room sex. The right couple will be comfortable with this boundary if it's discussed up front, even if it's "Let's see how we feel after a bit of foreplay, but we will probably not go as far as swap/sex." For us, same room sex is great fun, so we don't feel the need to press for more. If you're working with a threesome, then there's an expectation that something's going to happen, so there's a little more pressure to manage expectations and nerves before hand. It sounds, too, that you have not figured out what combination is right. FMFM will help you to extract the three components that trigger most excitement in you both.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have been in one threesome with a happily married couple. It was really fun with no complications. We all still speak and would be keen to try another one with a couple :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
8 years ago
a perspective from a couple new to this with lots of, what if questions ,is go slow ,and jump over one boundary at a time ,if that what works for you ,what ever they maybe and see how you feel then the next time ,maybe go a little further , and again see if it was fun ,and so on, stick to your boundaries , or move them with a nod or a wink to each other , but make it both your decisions , we were very nervous bout similar things ,and have not been in a hurry ,just going to the odd club and doing our own thing ,and on occasion finding a couple who were complimentary to our wants ,and over the next hurdle we go , then we go home all full of good feelings and bang each other stupid for the next couple of days ,looking forward to the next outing ,when or where ever that may be ,its amazing ,once you both wrap your head around societies version of right and wrong ,and doing what you want to feel good sexually ,with no personal agenda ,or countdown ,how fun it seems to start feeling ,and for the record ,we are soft swap still for now ,but the right couple will take us over the next action packed fun filled hurdle ,and again no hurry ,or pressure will make us do it until we are both on the same page at the same time ,communication is key ,but also ,we found good reasoning for why ,was better mr b
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think it can depend on the 3rd person..... choose carefully and don't be afraid to say no to people you meet if you both aren't totally comfortable with them. This can be just a gut thing with no real reason why. But that said, don't over-think it!!!!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Talk, discuss and also don't overthink it. Simple discussion if you add a woman is that okay with both of you? Is it okay to add a guy? If one of those is no then you need to talk about why? if its the guy is it him being with your partner and your own issues not hers, and visa versa. I would recommend going to a club or something together and just relaxing not over thinking it and seeing what others do. And just enjoy! life is about joy!
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