M50 F49
How long do you wait?
April 10 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
"We now allow up to 15 minutes for the person to either show up or message to say whats happening. Otherwise, we leave." Same, 15-20 minutes after the agreed time I'm gone. I'm always early too, must be the Dutch in me. Why did your date message to say he was disappointed, how long after you left did he turn up?
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luvsilver
10 years ago
We have mentioned this some time ago.We waited for about an hour for a couple we were meeting one night at a pub for drinks.In the end we sent a message seeing how long they were going to be to be told they were at home watching tv nearly 250 KM away. Mrs Luvsilver had somehow mixed up the dates and we were a day earlier than arranged. Mr Luvsilver
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I usually give them 20 minutes and then head off if I haven't heard from them. If they have messaged I will ask for their amended arrival time and they get 5-10 mins after that before I head off. I've run late for meets a couple of times due to delays at work or bad traffic, but have always let them know how long the delay is. Manners don't cost anything and can be lacking sometimes.
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RHP User
10 years ago
that 15 min is the max I will wait if there has been no communication. If there aren't there by then or haven't let you know they are running late then its a good chance they aren't going to show up.
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RHP User
10 years ago
15-20 is reasonable, after that I expect at least a text, failing that head to the bar and take someone else home !
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
My time is important to me, so before meeting anyone, whether from here, or women in the wider world beyond RHP.... or with my even clients.... I ensure that they will show up well before any appointed meeting. Its self evident that if you're someone they REALLY want to meet.... having them turn up is easy.... but thats a different topic. But, as i've mentioned before....the best cure for problem flake-outs..... is prevention. And it really is so simple. * If you're going to meet someone.... always...... ALWAYS get their number first. * If they wont give it....... I let them go, because without a giving me their number and taking a call, I haven't (a) determined if they're even serious about meeting anyone.(b) had opportunity to screen them via phone call to determine if I even want to meet them first. Just getting someones number isnt a guarantee that I want to meet them. It simply means their emails were interesting enough for me to want to learn more through conversation to see if we can enjoy banter enough to make meeting and conversation flow well.... and not be awkward or dull (or for women..... creepy or potentially risky). An hour or two before meeting.... and preferably before you've even started getting ready and definitely before youve left the house(!)..... simply call, or send a message and tell the other person that you might be 5-10 minutes late. How they reply will give you the answer on how committed they are to turning up. No reply = 0%.... so you know not to waste your time getting ready for a no-show and can make other plans. A wishy washy reply = 50%...... and you can call them out on their lack of commitment and make a decision. So simple..... but can potentially save you a lot of wasted time. DG
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Hottie1
10 years ago
I wait up to half an hour. My meets are usually at cafes so by the time I order and take my time enjoying my coffee is about all I'm prepared to wait :) Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, you are VERY REASONABLE to expect this most simplest of requests. A "courtesy call" to let the other party know that you're running late. These people are VERY contemptuous & disrespectful in what they do knowingly, willingly & wilfully..!! I can only imagine the let down after all the prep you had BOTH undergone, for what was supposed to be a fantastic event, only for it to be wasted AND probably left you in a crabby mood too. *PFFT* -shame on them-
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RHP User
10 years ago
We never give our mobile numbers out until we have at least met the person. We use kik or this site. The person did show up, but after we left. We just think its very poor manners not to turn up on time or if you cant, message on kik or here to say running late. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
I'd be happy to wait 15/20 mins, the time it takes to have one drink alone.......๐
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Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
If someone's serious about meeting to say hello, they'll hand out a number. And I'll at least have had a short phone convo beforehand. I'll wait 15 minutes, then send a text. If no reply after another 15, so as not to waste the occasion I'll have a coffee or drink and watch the scenery before retreating. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Generally I give meets 15 mins, which is more than enough, if they haven't messaged you in that time, and let you know they're running late, then your inner self tells you that something is up, and it's plan B time. I did have a situation myself were I was running late for a brekkie meet up, and the city traffic was bumper to bumper. It's only respectful to inform your date, don't you think ??
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RHP User
10 years ago
when I left from whenever I am leaving for the meetup and give an ETA - lets say I will be there around 50mins or so..and knowing he would do the same is good. At the end of the day lot of things can happen en route and if communication does not work with this simple task then it will not work at a playdate..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is enough time. We were meeting a couple at 8pm who turned 15 minutes away into 45 and "downstairs" into another 15. They approached us so we decided to give them the benefit. After a few drinks we realised we both weren't clicking with the pair we agreed to leave. They scoffed at is for leaving by 10. We could have been in bed by drunk and in bed by 9 if we used the 15 min rule - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think it's unacceptable and there should be a way of naming and shaming these people especially the ones that don't show!!!! I've had a couple of experiences where females didn't show and texted an hour after the meet time with a strange excuse. I've got to say though, I have not experienced this with couple meets. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
The time you waited was acceptable, what isn't, is no courtesy text, hard to do though if no numbers were exchanged :/ ..... It's a tough one, perhaps with all your efforts maybe 5 minutes longer??? You did plan to host....... I think though if no numbers are exchanged there are ways..... Like starting your prep half hour earlier so to allow for any small delays...... But personally as our meets are few and far between, we exchange numbers ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
...for sure. When I started meeting people via adult sites 5 years ago, that was one of my personal rules ie: no matter the venue, I won't wait any longer than 15 minutes.I've been lucky and haven't had to deal with no shows when out and about.I usually find we seem to arrive around the same time.I am happy to give my mobile number and I always obtain their mobile number.The meet would not go ahead if they weren't prepared to provide that.
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inspirit
10 years ago
BUT I am always late though I do txt. I really try not to be late, be but cab drivers are always late
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RHP User
10 years ago
I must be weird...cos my 15 minutes wait usually turns into an hour... But by then I've started talking to someone else.... Lol if they turn up then awesome....if not...meh... For me it's not so much about feeling ripped off about it; but how I deal with it.... ๐ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' An hour or two before meeting.... and preferably before you've even started getting ready and definitely before youve left the house(!)..... simply call, or send a message and tell the other person that you might be 5-10 minutes late. How they reply will give you the answer on how committed they are to turning up. No reply = 0%.... so you know not to waste your time getting ready for a no-show and can make other plans. A wishy washy reply = 50%...... and you can call them out on their lack of commitment and make a decision. I still think that is a fantastic tip.
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RHP User
10 years ago
OP, I don't give out my number either. KIK is the way to go for me too.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' An hour or two before meeting.... and preferably before you've even started getting ready and definitely before youve left the house(!)..... simply call, or send a message and tell the other person that you might be 5-10 minutes late. How they reply will give you the answer on how committed they are to turning up No reply = 0%.... so you know not to waste your time getting ready for a no-show and can make other plans. A wishy washy reply = 50%...... and you can call them out on their lack of commitment and make a decision. . ---------------------- . (Apologies if this is formatted badly I'm on iPad) . If you do this, make sure it has a question or something in there to reply to eg "hey, might be a few minutes late, how're you running for time?" Or something. Otherwise it is just a statement, and plenty of people might just read it and think "ok, thanks for letting me know" and sit there waiting and not send a reply.
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Dryphuz
10 years ago
who is always late for everything. He once told me he'd see me in 10 minutes and knowing him as well as i do i asked him what he had to do first. He listed off 5 things that would each take more than 20 minutes to do. Needless to say we were so late to the party people were leaving. And yet he was still adamant he had only been a little more than 10 mins. Amongst my friends we often refer to an hour as a "(His Name) five minutes". Some people are just that bad at being on time. Having said that the first meet is important and being on time or at least communicating reasons for lateness is absolutely essential. Even the chronically time challenged should make every effort. i would personally wait 30 - 45 mins, but I'm very patient as few others are. And if they were a no show i would simply make a solo night of it, but i would absolutely be very disappointed at having a trust betrayed.
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RHP User
10 years ago
True. If I'm not keen & am pushed too much then I don't prefer to show up on time to know if the other party has commitment or not. Generally, if I'm serious & really want that then showing up on time or even b4 is what I normally do. It might be a western culture to be direct but in some other culture ppl just try to be kind by not saying NO straight away, just a cultural thing.
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BacioCouple
10 years ago
We also give people 15-20 minutes but also now also make sure have a phone or kik contact prior to meeting. If they aren't prepared to give at least one of those, then it doesn't happen. Being selfish, we also tend to choose meeting spots we like. At least then if the other couple doesn't show we're in a venue we like and can relax in, and the night isn't wasted. It can be very (read extremely) annoying when you've gone to the trouble of chatting, setting up the meet, getting the kids away etc to not have them turn up. Having said that we've had very very few no shows. Maybe we've been lucky or maybe our "bullshit" radar is high?
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RHP User
10 years ago
18 minutes and 12 seconds is the approximate wait time for me.....I don't necessarily agree with the "lets send a message to say I'm going to be 5-10 minutes late theory" not everyone is great at time management.... I usually make a bit an effort to dress well and apply full Paul Stanley make up and outfit ......(you know the guy from Kiss).....so that there is no confusion that its me! Think about it... what are the chances of two guys showing up dressed as Paul Stanley? and it saves me from being under dressed. Anyhow I just want to make one other important comment... no one has addressed the issue of the quotient of how far the other person has had to travel to meet..... so if the other person has to travel say 40 minutes in peak hour traffic or whatever, maybe it is appropriate to wait a little longer .... say 21 minutes and 7 seconds
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RHP User
10 years ago
Text to confirm the day before and at least two hours before the meeting..if there is no response I assume they have more pressing matters to attend to...like the budgie dying ๐ณxxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
We don't like waiting any more than 20 minutes, but in saying that and honestly we have been over an hour late to a meet up but we kept in contact the other couple and ended up having a wild night. We all know that the best laid plans sometimes fail BUT come on a simple little message appropriately timed can make all the difference and shows a lot character as well. It's also sucks to get a wrong message meant for the other back up couple :(
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RHP User
10 years ago
If parking or traffic are an issue, then it's possible they're in a position where they can't call, and as soon as they're out of their car, they're presumably hurrying to meet you, so calling would be counterintuitive (in that they'll be there in a minute or two anyway). Especially if we're talking ten minutes late. Also, different people have different senses of time. You all seem to be very specific about time, but for a lot of people punctuality has a bit of latitude in it. Personally, I like to be on time with people I don't know, but for me that's learnt behaviour, I'm not naturally time-obsessed. I don't see fifteen minutes here or there as an indicator of respect. RHP is obviously a slightly different case, because it seems no-shows are quite common, and you don't want to be sitting like a sad barfly for hours waiting for someone who isn't going to show. But by what you've written OP (arrived five minutes early then waited for fifteen minutes), you left ten minutes after the agreed meeting time. I reckon adding ten minutes to that wouldn't hurt.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' I wait up to half an hour. My meets are usually at cafes so by the time I order and take my time enjoying my coffee is about all I'm prepared to wait :) Mary xx I think you're generous Mary..... Yeah 15 min unless there has been some contact. I always send a message saying I'm on the road and if there are any delays I do contact them..... FFS this is just common decency and manners.... I really just don't get it how common is is for this to happen..... no wonder people get so pissed off with this game. Those ARSE HOLES are just spoiling it for everybody else....... No wonder people get pissed off and leave sites like RHP..... Ciao Markxoยฃ
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RHP User
10 years ago
30 too 45 minutes because if you or thay are traveling hmmm driving that can't text you if thay are on the freeway ?? Or in traffic ....yes it's cortious too send a msg like running late or something but if thay don't make it and later say sorry and why ...you can take it from there ๐ if thay never showed up we'll it's totally there loss ....our reason why as it's there loss we went too a group get together a few week's back about 8 couples upon arriving and just being nice and saying hi and introducing our selves all was ok everyone seemed in the mood ? we noticed a few couples there that we chatted with previously in pie ? Thay had said no to meeting us and that we weren't what thay where looking for understandable ? But at the party that night thay seemed a bit tight a bit upper class a bit yes I remember one woman there saying too me within the first 20 minutes as we were in conversation said too me in front of almost everyone that if I liked I could sit in the couch and watch them all ..hmmm and yes we did leave ? About 3 minutes later but we where ok with it and let it go ...like water off a duck's back ๐ as the host was in shock as we left and others looks in orr we said too a few couples that thay we're not what 2r where looking for ...and went to a club met real nice people's and had safe sexy fun until very late it's cortious too show up as you are / we are individuals with choices ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
If you are running late, even 5 minutes, just send a coutessy message. We dont give numbers prior to first meet, but message on here or kik is available. How do we as a cpl get organised, ready and turn up to a date on time every time....while every date we have had with others, bar one, was late. One cpl once asked us to wait an hour at the bar they chose while they get dinner first. And no, they didnt invite us! Too many narcissists we think... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've waited that long that I have become great friends with the cleaner and third generation of the resident bar mouse. 15-20 minutes I think is long enough.
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rupamohan
10 years ago
- OP never gives mobile numbers out until have at least met the person. Lol I like diversity here. We don't even share picture with strangers unless we have talked over phone. Meeting without phone number is unimaginable for us. We nearly meet somebody every fortnight. We never had this kind of experience. Without notice we will wait for 15min. For us shared or unclear responsibility is big NO. We confirm one party is responsible to ensure all are in time. We don't mind taking this responsibility. It is made clear that on date day you must to be able to receive TXT and respond with in half an hour and with in 2 hrs of date any TXT has to be responded with in 10 minutes. No reply means we can cancel the date from our end.A date is reconfirmed on the day and reconfirmed again before travel starts. It is also made clear that any change has to be conveyed before schedule time. By TXT I mean SMS not IM apps like kik etc...
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RHP User
10 years ago
If you are going to meet someone, 15 minutes is the absolute maximum I would wait. I can cope with not being able to get a park or whatever but it takes 5 seconds to send a message. Puts you off to a bad start if you don't know but if you do know you can relax. Anyway, that's just me. I would always message if I was late. Part of a dying breed I think.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have waited for about 40 min to an hour. I have a cuppa and read something usually. I was late for 1 date and I did not have his number. He waited for me I was grateful. My high heels broke when I was running for the train and I was late, it could not been helped.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'd wait 20 minutes, then I'd text if no answer within 10 mins I'd skip on my merry way, generally i run a little late at everything , I know I'd send a text if it was going to be anymore than 5 minutes. This is all hypothetical the few people I have met have always been a show ๐ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
An accident on the freeway blocked traffic so that I was an hour late. With no chance to text to let him know, I didn't expect him to be there. I thought about giving up and turning the car around. I am so glad that I didn't. Amazingly, he was still there waiting. And it turned into an amazing night.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Get yourself a "play" phone. Spend $2 on a sim card and put it into an old phone. (Or $20 on a really cheap phone). You can give people your "play" number. So they can text you when they are running late.
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gazpacho
10 years ago
It doesn't take long to get disappointed by no shows. It's true that I don't get out much these days so I like to make sure the rendezvous is at a venue where I'm going to enjoy myself regardless. Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
10 years ago
"I don't see fifteen minutes here or there as an indicator of respect." I do get that being a stickler for time has a lot to do with both cultural background and upbringing. I'm from a country that considers being late disrespectful behaviour (and have a father who drilled that into me). It took me a while to get used to the Australian way of timekeeping. ;-) I'm a very patient person though and pretty decent at entertaining myself (make me wait at Medicare for an hour and I'm not bothered in the slightest), but I don't like not receiving any notification, which tells me someone isn't great at taking someone else's thoughts and feelings into account. That lack of consideration is the disrespectful part to me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
We are glad that we do things different than you. Thats because we are VERY different. This isnt about your rigid formula, this is about respect and common decency, in our view. If someone respects a person and is keen to meet up, particularly when we host and there are two of us who can both manage to be on time, then that person would either show up on time ( +/- 15 min) or message on the available formats which has been used successfully to that Point. We have avoided a lot of flakes who take advantage of other ppls generosity and hospitality. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I be a pretty patient pirate, so's I waits about a week! (After that I hauls anchor for a new horizon). Cap'n No Beard
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rupamohan
10 years ago
We are wondering how long after a planned meet up should you wait for the person to show? 17minutes. However, at what point fo others start to feel disrespected or stood up? Disrespected - When you know the reason and believe it is disrespectful. Stood up 17.0001minutes And are we reasonable to expect at least a coutessy message to say 'running late'? The person should make attempt to inform change before schedule time. Even with a message, how long should we sit there waiting? Last know scheduled time + 17 minutes.
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RHP User
10 years ago
This is why we prefer to meet at parties, that way even if they don't show up you can still have your own fun! Maybe meet another couple and enjoy the night
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RHP User
10 years ago
That while they are a "no show" they may well have turned up, scoped you out, and decided to leave. Just as gutless.
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RHP User
10 years ago
contact the person(s) the day of the meet with a polite "still ok for tonight 8pm at XXX?" Has always worked for us. Shaz
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