F54
How long have you kept an FWB?
January 29 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’ve had 2 long time friends. The first I had for over 3 years, it only ended because she moved interstate, I’m sure we’d still be friends if she hadn’t moved. I stil see my other friend and we’ve been enjoying each other for over 2 years now, just saw her today actually. I guess we just have a great connection with each other, we don’t catch up every week, sometimes can be several weeks between, maybe that’s why it lasts? Appreciate what you’ve got because the grass isn’t always greener somewhere else!
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RHP User
7 years ago
Well I guess you would have to try and distinguish, ascertain whether you have a FWB or a FB? And I suspect many of the relationships which are thought or considered FWB are actually just FB relationships ? A FWB relationship hints at actually being friends ..lol, which sounds obvious but in reality from what I've witnessed, many of the connections are purely sexual and meet ups are just for sex, with little if any outside the bedroom activities, such as dinner , movies, drinks meeting up with other friends..etc And I guess my point is how deep is the relationship in the first place and that will be different from people to people and ending any relationship you would think will be more difficult the deeper the feelings and the history associated with it. I have had a couple of FB relationships which lasted a few months and were pretty easy to end for both parties and I have had one FWB relationship which lasted nearly 3 years and that was very hard to let go, almost like a marriage split but it ended for the right reasons, I think !! SF
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RHP User
7 years ago
Fortunately too we hung out together regularly for a couple of years quite happily exclusive. Most good things do end although we are still friends and I've even met her new husband who had no clue that I know where to find the rose tattoo! 🌹 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
That I would have liked to be a fwb, for nearly 2 years. The sex was great but the meet ups were always on his terms and at my place, which wasn't free a lot of the times. I got fed up of his selfishness in the end and ended it. I want someone who can also host, have great sex with but also go out with once in a while. Not too much to ask for but too hard to find. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I think The_Silverfox is on the money... there's a big difference between an FWB and a fuck buddy. I have an FB that I've been with for almost six years. For me, the reason it's lasted so long is because we aren't 'friends' as such. Sure, we care for each other deeply and we know what's going on in each other's lives, but we've never hung out as friends would do. We get together for sex (once or twice a month), and it's the primary motivator for us catching up. There was some angst (on my part) around the 12 month mark, about whether there was potential for a relationship and if I had feelings for him. It took a while for me to work through that, but at the end of the day I realised that we are not compatible as anything more than FB's, and the feelings I had towards him were purely based in lust. Much more difficult with FWB's, where there is potential for the lines to get blurred if you're doing 'couple' stuff like going out for dinner, movies etc. I don't think I could be as impartial in that situation. Not sure that really answers your question LC, but thanks for the topic. Will be following with interest 🙂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Werent about the difference between fwb and fb. I know that, but, more just to get people talking. Thank you. LC.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have been in a FWB situation with a couple for over two years. Technically I have had a FWB with a single female for longer, however that person lives interstate, therefor catchups are only once every four blue moons. A few years ago, when only relatively new to RHP, I found someone local (ie in Melbourne/Victoria) which lasted for six months, though technically still in contact via text but only occasionally. We did not offically end anything, perhaps just become varied in interests and life intentions. Because I don't go to the commercial players parties like I used to when I first joined, the FWB with the couple is essentially exclusive (by default) for the majority of the time. They are both also wonderful friends, supportive especially when life is tough. Only a minority of the meets play is involved, some meets are simply for coffee (or in my case, hot chocolate). I value all of such people greatly, the premise is that if circumstances mean the "benefits" are no longer, the friendship can still remain. If you only have a FB, then I would guess there is little to continue if sexual interactions stop. They are not disposable, all have lasted as long or much longer than my previous actual relationship. Yes they continue because people are primarily in the same headspace and have similar thoughts on life. And it doesn't have the same expectations of having to be perfect, or to be entirely perfect for each other with the maximum possible chemistry, as a relationship might. We acknowledge and even appreciate the *flaws* and/or differing interests, habits and thoughts in each other, even if we don't share them entirely. I guess a relationship should/could work like that too, but only if it gets past the initial dating context.
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Sawadee
7 years ago
Why ? because I've now known the lady in question twice as long as we've been FWB. She was married to a friend of mine for years and after they separated it just happened.. In fact neither of us was looking but at a BBQ one day we got chatting and through her beer goggles she mentioned how long it had been since she last had sex.. One thing led to another and bingo.. we broke her drought.. That was about 5 years ago now and we occassionly catch uP...
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PurePeony
7 years ago
My longest relationship to date started out as an FB, which turned into an FWB, which turned into a relationship. All in, it lasted more than 10 years. He proposed several times over the years, but I had no intention of marrying him. 😛 My next longest FWB lasted four years. It could've have continued indefinitely but he had become dismissive and rude, and he had lost interest in sex for the last 1.5 years. When I left, he told me that I was more than an FWB to him - I was a gf, but he was too commitmentphobic to acknowledge it. 😛 He's one of the loveliest person I've ever known. We are still friends till this day. 😊
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
For the last 9 months on and off. It's exclusive for me ATM. Good things are - He is very attractive to me and I like spending time with him. I trust him, so that allows me to explore things with him that I haven't before. He is respectful and super easy going. I have space. I like that with an ongoing FB , even one you don't see that much, you just get to know what each other likes and it becomes more relaxed. Bad things are - I just struggle with the whole communication thing with FB/FWB. It sometimes confuses me. I spend a lot of time thinking about how much I should text him, if I text him too much, how much do I like him, does he really like me etc. We both seem to be over thinkers which has resulted in misunderstandings which we have worked out. Actually we have had some unfortunate events which makes me giggle and think how are we even seeing each other now? But we just seem to gravitate back to each other. Bottom line is its an easy situation for both of us. We don't see each other all the time and don't live in each others pockets but when we do I always enjoy it. I don't think of him as disposable. We have shared some intimate times and some deep talks. Sometimes I wish I could hang out with him more on the weekends but reality is we both have busy lives and maybe that would be crossing a line emotionally that I'm not sure that would be reciprocated, so I tread warily. Honestly I would like a deeper emotional connection and spend more time with a FWB but it seems a difficult thing to achieve. Near impossible. Agree with Elke then the lines start to be blurred and more potential for misunderstanding.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Two weeks, in my back shed. Then she escaped so I had to kill her.
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Xxalex
7 years ago
I just come out of my second FWB situation, it's the most bizarre experience I've had. It normal takes me a long time to warm to and open up to someone..But this chick took less then 2 mths. By then we considered each other best mates.. She had been dealing with a heap of issues and I was just there for her, no judgements or crap, just to support her and try brighten up her darker days.. It had always been on the cards of possible benefits.. But she was weary of me being married.. Once she got to see the situation and saw I wasn't making stuff up or playing her, she was cool to overlook it.. Only really had benefits 1.5 times. And then by the 3mth mark she just started ignoring me and pushing me away.. Wouldn't tell me what was going on... It hurt like all hell as that was the first time I needed her to return being there for me as a friend (had a whole bunch of crap hit the fan all at the same time) I still see her about and she's only just started to chat again... Still to find out what the fark happened... One day it will all become clear... And if not, well to be honest, I'm over it and how poorly she treated me.. but it was super hard to deal with, and I do still miss her.. But the damage is done.. Fwb definitely is a hard thing to loose.. Especially if you are actually really good friends that hang out heaps.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I had a similar situation to you always at my place and it lasted four months (according to him 3 months because of time lost when I dumped him) he said I am a friend with benefits, I say I am a fb because of the way he doesn’t want to go for coffee etc. I don’t know if it will start again, it has before...... the previous fb was for 6 months we had fun and fun just died as it does sometimes more for me than him :-) . I do get the feeling I should head to Melbourne and get me some country :-)!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Katkat
7 years ago
A year then I ended it coz he’s got a gf now and I didn’t want to be in a triangle. First it was ok then later I realised he was fucking other women too which was ok with me but I said to myself nah I deserve better I didn’t want to catch any stds or diseases coz he doesn’t use condoms plus why should I linger around if he’s too immature. It was greatest sex I have ever had only person that could make me squirt all the time the rest was just normal ones. - Posted from rhpmobile
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
I read the title line “how long have your kept a fwb for?” And two things crossed my mind.... 1. Before the fwb got mouldy?? Or ... 2. How long did I keep my fwb for what?? Locked in a steel cage?? In the bottom of a well buffalo bill style?? Lol this is a choose your own funny comment lol
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Xxalex
7 years ago
Haha. You always take a different view on sheet... - Posted from rhpmobile
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gazpacho
7 years ago
Fwb- friends with benefits. I live such a disorganised life because I embrace the fact that person to person relationships evolve. I’d hate to be locked or to lock someone into one zone with no hope of escape. Put another way, I’m not one to create a human pyramid out of the people I interact with.... can you see me picking through that lot to decide who I should fuck today? No. I’m on the bottom of the pile with my cock hard, my tongue out and my hands full. Hugs Gaz
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swingalingson
7 years ago
A good lover is hard to find. Especially one that knows you and you are comfortable with. If it is good ya go back...
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aussian43
7 years ago
Oh, you mean WITH benifets! I am still friends with them, but lost the benifets when they fell into relationships, or left the region. The longest fwb lasted a year before she moved away and got married. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
3+ yrs. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I prefer to say lovers. IMO (of course), sounds more respectful, as there's romance romance involved. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Well look at that, double the romance. 😍😋 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
I call it Lovers as well.......because that's how I feel...... just calling it fwb on this thread to speak the speak for everyone else who says fwb. Gaz....super funny as always. Swinglingson......i think you are right and why fuck with something that aint broken. LC.
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RHP User
7 years ago
As far as the feeling of being locked in goes. But people love to label and put you in their box. Keeps them safe. (In their own mind anyway). It's funny really because a woman's shakti or juice is so so expansive and cannot be contained. LC.
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gazpacho
7 years ago
I get it. Let the juices flow! Hehe It’s a spiritual thing. My choices have meant Ive really become an I “want it now” kind of person, except I don’t know what “it” is until I sense “that thing” - a connecting sensation if I can call it that - and then I wing it from there which has gotten me in a mind numbing lustful go anywhere kind of mind state wherein nothing is off limits. Go with the flow and explain it to yourself tomorrow. Sometimes my choices surprise even me, using “fun had” as a measure, For me, once a mental connection is established, the difference between a friend and an FWB is probably the differences in opportunity and circumstance that put that invisible barrier in place. I think I’m happiest either way, regardless, that is, I’m happiest without ruling out what would otherwise happen naturally. Being a lover is hardly an intellectual process once you wrap your head around that idea. Hugs Gaz - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
5 years is pretty impressive. Do you see each other often?
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Hawt1
7 years ago
Something like two years now and ongoing.. I have had others but they got married and stuff. Still friends with them.
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RHP User
7 years ago
5 years is pretty good going. Well done! LC.
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
So I think my last one that ended 2 years ago or there abouts, lasted for I guess 6-8 months?? We’re still friends, but she entered into a poly relationship with another dude...lol Not that I did much to encourage her stay with me I might add...just to be fair.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
7 years ago
Something like that anyway. 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
And when we decided to move on into other relationships and I got married, we’ve remained the closest or deepest of friends. It’s now been 14 years or so. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
When it ended I had the sensation that the right side of my body was missing. Like I was only a half a body. It was like a death had occured. LC.
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RHP User
7 years ago
About three years now with Ms Divorcee, we've had more coffee dates than play dates...
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Redux
7 years ago
Currently around 5 years. It was briefly a committed relationship until we accepted that we have incompatible life goals. We now support each other's journey and are on/off Lovers as required. One moving interstate has made the benefits less regular, though I think Tiesto is playing Horden Pavilion next month... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
became my fwb and although we aren’t having sex now cause he’s in a relationship, we still speak daily and see each other often and we could easily go back to it if he wasn’t with someone. We have a lot of respect for each other and the sex was always amazing. FB - I have had a few, no emotions involved, just sex when we are available and want it. One I now consider a fwb as we do also have dinners and have been to the movies together and we chat daily, I’ve met his daughter and know a lot about each other’s lives and I do like him but he’s made it clear from day 1 that he doesn’t want another relationship since his marriage ended so we are defiantly fwb. - Posted from rhpmobile
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