M45
How to read the play.
January 27 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Your prepared already...
-
RHP User
12 years ago
From a woman's point of view..I go on meet and greets open minded and expect the unexpected.I believe women have just as much as a HARD time determining exactly if a man is or is not UP?? For me I have to determine FANTASY from REALITY - once that is sorted - Foxy is good to trot!!
-
Cassy_74
12 years ago
No Expectations!! No Disappointment!!
-
xFunlovingx
12 years ago
Quoting 'Cassy_74'No Expectations!! No Disappointment!! I have to add though, I would never even consider meeting a guy who has "Ask Me" and "Not Sure" plastered all his profile! Too lazy to fill out a profile? Then to me ... that person will be too lazy in bed! xFunlovingx
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Sex is a bonus.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
On a first meet it should be all about getting to know the person and their liikes....and dislikes over a drink or a meal.If the chemistry is there....then sex will follow.....maybe not that night but certainly the next meet.Don't expect it all on the first night or you may be disappointed......or not.......lol
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Get laid if you come to WA and the face is as good as the body. Stop the bus what I am saying... I do plan a trip to Melbourne soon no seriously what was the question? damit now my neck is out again, please put your picture up the right way. Dito to what all the other wise people told you. You really do not know until you meet ,that is when you find out if there is chemistry. you set up the meeting , just for a cofee and take it from there. and if you want it ask, that simple. So many men are a bit backwards in coming forwards when it comes face to face. That is why I do not do the ten thousand text and messages, as brave as men are on line they are often rather shy at first. lucky for them I am not that way. If I see and its what I like then my body language does the rest. I take you by the hand and walk you right to my bed.
-
MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Why not talk a bit beforehand and, gee, idunno, ASK?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MissSarahCurious' Why not talk a bit beforehand and, gee, idunno, ASK? Exactly! Dude, you have to talk to women.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
It's the easiest way to ask before the date, if it is not already clear. Otherwise you could end up disappointed. But with all our seducing men charme it will end up at breakfast anyway ;)
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I've gone on 'blind dates' or walked into a nightclub with a level of anticipation of the outcome...sure, you have to spend a bit of time talking to them, dropping a few walls to get to know each other and the rest but that can be a lot of fun too. If the bar is set so low that any under-achiever can step over it and it's already flagged as 'no expectations'...I'd suggest you've already set them by taking spontaneity, very human interaction and what may come very naturally right off the table...and more so in this venue where we do understand and anticipate the reasons for our existence here in uncharted waters. No one issues a warranty without an escape clause although if the anticipated outcome is nothing...why bother?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Whilst I agree with the above, don't expect sex on the first date, a bit of flirting, innuendo etc in your communications can give you an idea wether you are dealing with someone up for play or just stringing you along for an afternoon chat.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
They will usually have a preference indicated on their profile eg, meet first play later etc. this can give you an indication, at least if you make any presumptions it will be of the more welcome kind. You can enter into 'negotiations' once you are there, meeting you may make all the difference between whether it's going to end up in bed or not.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
You want sex guaranteed, regardless of chemistry, you should try a brothel.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Why don't you message Eva and ask?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Some times it's there and visible during those online and phone conversations. But that can even change after meeting face to face. Just ask. There's nothing wrong with saying "I've really enjoyed your company tonight and interested in exploring our company somewhere private and talking about where to from here". Chances are, if she's not interested, she'll say no to the privacy option. At least, once behind closed doors, you can talk more openly about where you can take the rest of the day/night.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
i'd assume, every time i met a gal for the first time thru this site or similar....that nothing was on the cards....that way options were always kept open and as expectations were low....disappointments werent on the cards...just 'meeting' is a plus isnt it? make everything a 'plus' and you cant go wrong........
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Always tie on barb-less hooks and put them back in the water....gently. Quoting 'Awesome71' You want sex guaranteed, regardless of chemistry, you should try a brothel. Gotcha...*laughs about them jumping in the boat so easily without going for the net*...back.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
im not sure about the other girls.........but i do have a few expectations when I meet....i Do expect the gentleman in question to ask my name...if for some reason i have been coy and not already given iti do expect a sharing of information....not just hearing everything about the man and all his glorious achievmentsi dont know.......... maybe that makes me self centred and egotistical......but i always thought it was polite to pay attention to your guestpeek of fussiness
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Why don't you message Eva and ask? that fkn ellusive Eva.
-
Twisted_Mister
12 years ago
and do what some of the other blokes have said, ask!Take a cue with the venue, too - if it's a public place meet (obviously) you probably won't be getting into the down and dirty stuff within 20 minutes or so, and if it's a day meet in public then probably less chance again.My lady and I have organised meets with other couples at our place for a drink, and maybe a swim in the pool to see if we're mutually attracted enough to take things further. Sometimes they went further on that night, and sometimes not - which is OK too.The kicker in all of this is - despite any amount of online chat, pic swapping, talking on the phone etc etc - if you're meeting for the first time it is pointless theorising about what might or might not happen until you actually meet the person face to face, and making a decision on what you'd like. Don't forget, she'll be in the same decision making process - hence the feeling you're referring to as not being able to "get" what she wants.The reason is probably that she doesn't know either! Yet!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
agree with M/lad if you aren't feeling a "vibe" and she hasn't touched you all night don't bother asking. If she is interested there will be little touches on your hand or arm. If you can't "read" body language then i can see why you are on the internet for sex? Mike
-
RHP User
12 years ago
If I have agreed to meet you I go with the assumption that we are going to have sex except if you are a real tool. I say no to those I don't want to sex to before I get that far. No point in leading someone on if you not interested.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
fussy I am not,I will eat anyone,oops I mean I will eat with anyone.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Sorry lads...... I disagree.Asking her if she wants sex??Are we that bad at interpersonal communication these days?!Really?!Why not hand her a piece of paper with a list of options that she can tick off, sign, and hand to you. Sheeeeeeeesh!My view is..... if you have to ask.... you simply dont get whats happening in your interaction.... and you need to learn more about body language, seduction and attraction.A woman is not seeking to be asked for permission to let you have sex with her!She wants to be swept into it as a willing participant on a surging torrent of curiosity, emotion, passion, desire and lust!And nothing kills that as much as "um.... hey, I was wondering, if ... you know.... well.... perhaps if you werent busy, you know... we might.... kind of...... actually want to...... have sex..... but only if YOU want to... because.... well.... either way, its ok with me"!!For fucks sake.MAN UP...... BE the kind of man that intrigues and excites her, and and you wont have to ask.DGPS.Yes, this response is on the extreme and possibly ridiculous end of the scale...... but seriously.... so is asking!I mean, come on!!!!!! A man who knows how a woman's brain tick....about darn time!!!!It's a Deal Breaker for me if a guy asks me prior to meeting... "um.... hey, I was wondering, if ... you know.... well.... perhaps if you werent busy, you know... we might.... kind of...... actually want to...... have sex..... but only if YOU want to... because.... well.... either way, its ok with me"!!EWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's when I will PULL OUT!!So DG...wan-a-shag?????? I am Ok, if you are Ok...(nervous as all hell).....don't have to...no pressure....can go back to your place?? do you have condoms...shall I buy some??...Do you like Anal?? Maybe we can have a root??
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Sorry lads...... I disagree. Asking her if she wants sex?? Are we that bad at interpersonal communication these days?! Really?! Why not hand her a piece of paper with a list of options that she can tick off, sign, and hand to you. Sheeeeeeeesh! My view is..... if you have to ask.... you simply dont get whats happening in your interaction.... and you need to learn more about body language, seduction and attraction. A woman is not seeking to be asked for permission to let you have sex with her! She wants to be swept into it as a willing participant on a surging torrent of curiosity, emotion, passion, desire and lust! And nothing kills that as much as "um.... hey, I was wondering, if ... you know.... well.... perhaps if you werent busy, you know... we might.... kind of...... actually want to...... have sex..... but only if YOU want to... because.... well.... either way, its ok with me"!! For fucks sake. MAN UP...... BE the kind of man that intrigues and excites her, and and you wont have to ask. DG PS. Yes, this response is on the extreme and possibly ridiculous end of the scale...... but seriously.... so is asking! I mean, come on!!!!!! after shave on the market?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Its funny..... ......my comment in this topic has earned me emails from 6 angry guys, telling me in various shades of profanity...... that I have no idea what Im talking about....In light of your replies, Tuscan & Super..... I say...... they might be on to something.HAHAHAHAHADG DG Hang on I will just go and ask those 6 men.........errrrrrrrrrrrrr if we can ummmmmmmmm have a shag.....if you want to.......no pressure...if they're not busy..........Handing them a piece of paper with a contract list of options that "I" want ticked off.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Every so often in life you have to say WTF ? Now please, rite off the bat I’m not advocating to anyone doing what I did…in any shape or form, but I’m an adult and I take full responsibility for me. Anyone knowing me off line will be somewhat surprised by my actions but they would also know that I would have safeguarded myself first. They also know I’m operating on a different emotional level at present..hence my drive and restlessness.. I get so tired of the” interview for sex”” – the whole lets met for coffee, drinks, brekkie whatever and the big checkout and the big wonder………its frigging exhausting…...and I’m time poor at the moment, so every so often I just can’t do it…I can’t go thru the whole process - so I lay my cards (excuse the pun ) on the table and make it very clear… I was chatting to a lovely man from here recently…all was going well..emailing etc blab la bla…it all felt very rite and very comfortable – exchange of cell numbers..lots of yummy sms……yep all was good. We decided to meet one nite..but in all honesty..I just couldn’t go thru the whole Interview crap…so I sms him and told him that..I also told him quite bluntly that I was up for it that nite…and here was the deal..meet at his place, told him where to be, what to do, and to leave his front door unlocked..not much choice – he was either in or out..if he was out..fine ..no harm done..and wished him all the best. He chose to be in…………….now I have to admit this sooooooooo could have gone wrong on many levels………and I’m pleased to say, it went soooooooooooo rite on all levels….a good nite was had by all……………. Was it reckless, foolish of me etc ..perhaps, but the way I see it, it wasn’t much different than picking up in a bar….the thing here was sight unseen and he also took a huge risk to as I went to his place…I could have been the stalker girl from hell. But naturally we discussed the rules via sms and we made it very clear to each other that if either of us wasn’t comfortable or interested in any shape or form –then it was no go So what happened here folks was good old fashion communication, between both parties, and total honesty and respect for each other up front..……………..and of course I put into place quite a few safety measures…and I’m sure he did too Am I sorry? – NOPE Would I do it again with someone else ? – PERHAPS – but I don’t think you always make that kinda of connection again… So the way I see it, follow Mischievous advice…but you shouldn’t have to ask…you should just know….it’s not that hard…it ain neurosurgery or rocket science..it’s just sex with hopefully lots of pure lust thrown in… Signed Shinas – the Floosie
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Miketheduc' agree with M/lad if you aren't feeling a "vibe" and she hasn't touched you all night don't bother asking. If she is interested there will be little touches on your hand or arm. If you can't "read" body language then i can see why you are on the internet for sex? Mike Exactly! And DG, I wonder who is having more sex, you or your pen pals?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Its funny..... ......my comment in this topic has earned me emails from 6 angry guys, telling me in various shades of profanity...... that I have no idea what Im talking about....Dear Mischevious..... its their loss not yours... if they cant take advice or follow a recipe. they may as well get out of the kitchen.....you are soooo right for me anyway My funniest was the guy who emailed me after the coffee date (which i drank at warp speed and used my call me quick card ) to ask when was his kissing exam..... ( my funny soh) When i said no... he lost it... because he was so sure i would melt when i saw his technique.. when he saw me online a few months later... he said i told you you should have had me.... In light of your replies, Tuscan & Super..... I say...... they might be on to something.HAHAHAHAHADG
-
RHP User
12 years ago
That's just what I was thinking as I read this thread! Really, we all know why we're here, meeting up is just to see if it's a happening thing. ML, you're a man after my own heart. You could start the RHP school of 'manning up' and do all of us a big favor. Many women would be very appreciative ;-)Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'A woman is not seeking to be asked for permission to let you have sex with her!She wants to be swept into it as a willing participant on a surging torrent of curiosity, emotion, passion, desire and lust!And nothing kills that as much as "um.... hey, I was wondering, if ... you know.... well.... perhaps if you werent busy, you know... we might.... kind of...... actually want to...... have sex..... but only if YOU want to... because.... well.... either way, its ok with me"!!For fucks sake.MAN UP...... BE the kind of man that intrigues and excites her, and and you wont have to ask.DGPS.Yes, this response is on the extreme and possibly ridiculous end of the scale...... but seriously.... so is asking!I mean, come on!!!!!!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
get confused,sometimes I think there is zero interest and it comes as a shock to find out later that was not the case.So DG, perhaps women are not good at interpreting signals either.Not every man or every woman is super confident.If you are more introverted then just meeting new people can be exhausting.I have decided to be a lot more upfront when meeting a new person,if I have zero interest then I say so within minutes now,but sometimes I am unsure ,it takes a little time for me to decide. There is a lot of pressure on men,they are not always sure about how the woman is thinking and feeling.Trying to interpret womens signals can't always be easy,I just don't subscribe to the theory that if only he changed his behaviour then the short bald man with the charming confident manner will win the most beautiful woman in the room. This is all very superficial in my view,so many other factors come into play.A preference for tall men with a full head of hair being an important one. I am always slightly bemused when physically attractive,confident people hand out advice,''if you just behave like me,you will succeed''....you need to reframe that advice me thinks into '' if you were me you would succeed''.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
That is one of my favourite fantasies.To visit a lady, (or her me) crawl into her bed, have a beautiful erotic night and leave, no names, no identity just anonymous passion.But it can never happen, the mere mention of it in the first conversations would be fatal. Well coming from a guy it would be.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'I think you may just be surprised how often the charismatic, engaging, humorous and interesting short pudgy bald guy with bad dance moves outguns the Athlete who has nothing but a reliance upon his looks to fall back on.DG I think it depends what she is looking for, for a longer term connection maybe. And she may well talk to the bald guy most of the night for the entertainment value. But come home time, my money is on the athlete !
-
RHP User
12 years ago
DG,I certainly would...now if I didn't know someone who knows you,I would be thinking,hmm is he really a short bald guy with bad dance moves?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Miketheduc' agree with M/lad if you aren't feeling a "vibe" and she hasn't touched you all night don't bother asking. If she is interested there will be little touches on your hand or arm. If you can't "read" body language then i can see why you are on the internet for sex? Mike This is an inaccurate simplification or generalisation. Some of us are so incredibly shy and/or submissive in our nature that we would never touch the other person first, nor repeatedly, nor sometimes at all on the first meeting; and we seek the bravery of the other in being forthcoming, and wish for the other to have a high level of intuition that doesn't rely solely on such didactic 'body language' signs such as 'little touches on your hand or arm'.Sadey
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I prefer to chat first and see how we get along, sometimes it gets very hot and steamy over the phone, but when you meet face to face, sometimes the "lust factor' goes out the window.So, if the "spark' is still there during the catch up , raise the question, what have you got to lose, I've had it put on me over lunch, and what a great dessert it was.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
If you have "chatted" on here & "talked" on the phone you both should have some idea about each others likes/dislikes/ wants/ desires etc so at the meet & greet there shouldnt be any awkward moments. Unless either party has severely misrepresented themselves or that "spark" isnt there in person, which can happen from time to time. As others have said, dont turn up to a meet & greet with any expectations other then have a nice meal/drink/coffee. The most I expect is some pleasant conversation, if the "spark" is there then the conversation will run its course in determining what or where things go from there.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sadey' Quoting 'Miketheduc' agree with M/lad if you aren't feeling a "vibe" and she hasn't touched you all night don't bother asking. If she is interested there will be little touches on your hand or arm. If you can't "read" body language then i can see why you are on the internet for sex? Mike This is an inaccurate simplification or generalisation. Some of us are so incredibly shy and/or submissive in our nature that we would never touch the other person first, nor repeatedly, nor sometimes at all on the first meeting; and we seek the bravery of the other in being forthcoming, and wish for the other to have a high level of intuition that doesn't rely solely on such didactic 'body language' signs such as 'little touches on your hand or arm'.Sadey Theres a lot more to "reading" body language then the touches you quoted, most body langauge doesn't involve any touching. A few common gestures are a woman will play with or toss her hair, yes sure it could be a sign of nerves but more often then not its a indication of "look at me I'm preening myself for you" another common sign is watch a group of males at a social gathering (even standing around the coffee machine at work) & have a look at their feet when an attractive woman is present..... most will have a foot pointing towards her as a "show" of where their intent/interest lays. And yes some people are more intuitive at reading body langauge then others just as some can draw or play guitar better then others.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
If you have not worked it out in the first minute then forget it. Personally I switch to friend mode when I sense there is nothing there. I have made some great long term friends this way. Good friends are worth much more then a shag. If I detect that there is something sensual between us then I let it flow naturally. You should never have to ask for sex, its demeaning for both of you. Never let your dick talk guys it gets you no where, and always pay attention to body language. Be confidant and have respect. As I am bi I also have discovered that most men are useless at sex and sensuality. But that is another subject.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
DG,it wouldn't matter how charming you are or how well you can dance,if you were short and bald,I doubt you would have had the oppurtunity to feature on her dance card.....of course your physicality got you a place on her card,but then whether or not it was a barn dance or a tango was decided by your other attributes.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
and a legendary power of one indeed
-
RHP User
12 years ago
is it just me or do other people find it amazing that for an advertised swingers site and how open people are on here that they are so shy about meeting ..ive only met one person face to face in the last 6 months and that was after 15 to 20 minutes chatting..the other couple on here ive had contact with .one just through messages.over weeks has no intention of meet and the other. we've chatted on here .via phone tx and actual calls but same thing ,when it come to meeting up .not interested.yet i can go onto another site .chat for short time to people and they happy to meet up and what ever happens happens...
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Ive always wondered how everyone else does it! But ive never met anyone off a site and not f@cked them, even if the correspondence has been brief, sure i had a list of things i'd like to happen first, ie swap numbers, have a chat on the phone, but its all long since gone out the window! I just found it all too hard and long winded.... So now its a simple exchange of msgs, what r u into sexually so i know we r compatible and the all important c@ck shot, this is one rule i wont bend on, haha bend.... And im not looking for size, its purely because i dont like surprises and if its ugly, i wont want it anywhere near me, its never happened but better safe than sorry, i enjoy giving oral and wont want it in my mouth if its ugly, which will put a dampener on the whole thing, anyhow i digress, the point of RHP is its a place for h@rny ppl to meet and get it on.... Isnt it?! I can tell enough from the pics if i wanna do someone, unless they r a massive douche, but u can read that in their msgs, i dont know, maybe im 'special' hahahaha- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
12 years ago
3s_a_party, I couldn't have said it better myself! That is why where all on this site isn't it? Sex and fun :-) Xx
-
RHP User
12 years ago
You are both too right. Though my preferred dance would be the Mambo.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Just relax and be yourself. Go with no expectations then nothing can be broken. You will know if theres chemistry on the meet or not. Myself i go still get butterflies on the first meet unsure of what could happen. I have meet first play later on my profile. Most of the time it is just meet but not saying i havent meet then found a quiet little spot to finish off the meeting lol. If she finishes the meeting with "What now" take her hand and run to the closest car, bush, hotel,bedroom or whatever gets you excited lol
-
RHP User
12 years ago
In my experience some girls are really up front, others love to play the game because that's half the fun. The best way to check if everyone is on the same page is to ask the question "what do you want". It's a tough question to ask in person though, usually a 2 drink minimum for me haha- Posted from rhpmobile
-
greengsxr
12 years ago
My advice is simple- if it isn't abundantly clear that a play meet is hoped for, then there is your answer! Regardless though a piece of advice? Try the extra effort anyway! If she just wants to fuck u she'll say so and if she not sure yet hasn't the effort scored you a heap of brownie points to help your cause? Otherwise be clear. If you don't want to do A, b or c then say so! The worst that can happen is the end of a what to you is a fruitless conversation anyway? Afterall you have no need to pretend to be someone you are not on here do you? Just thoughts....!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Relax, enjoy yourself and have fun.If it works out and gets physical okay then great, if it becomes good friends that develops then good too. gotta have that connection to play imho.
-
madotara69
12 years ago
I think you will both appreciate the comfort for a good time to be had.Mado
-
RHP User
12 years ago
it should be simple simon... we have needs and that's why ppl are meeting up in person... there's no formula, it's about going with the flow & building chemistry... so by the time it happens ur fkn ready for it! if it's awkward or weird, talk it out, change topic or have another drink to take the edge off... but this should be quite simple, and if it's not, somethings wrong
-
Vintagetatu
12 years ago
Chat = just close the door on your way out?Meal = bodily fluids?Is there really an sex ''or'' meal and chat?
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share