How to start?

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Without trying to be impolite I think the wording of question 3. may be part of your problem. You don't "manage" your partner you create fantasies together and explore what each of you desires or doesn't want. Perhaps question 5. would also best be answered by your partner. However 1. 2. It was my now ex husbands idea and we went to a swingers club 4. The feelings range from excitement to jealousy and arousal to heartache it really depends on the person and the situation and the chemistry of everyone at the time. It can be an incredible experience if you are completely open, honest and communicate extreamly well but you both have to want the same things. Ms Enamor - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  We ''girls'' are not like bunches of grapes. We are people and we are all different, each with our own individual preferences, tastes, desires, fears, and fantasies. And none of us can possibly know why your wife did not respond favourably to your suggestion of play with other women. We would only be guessing, and knowing practically nothing about her, you (except what may be gleaned from your post), or your relationship, they would not even be educated guesses. They would be wild stabs in the dark. So, if you want to know her reason/s then a good step for you would probably be to actually ask her about her reasons. Yes, strange concept I know

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  And then a step to the riiiight! / With your hands on your hips / You bring your knees in tight / But it's the pelvic thrust / That really drives you insane! Actually dude, your question screams me me me me it's all about me. What about what your wife wants huh? You will never successfully manage a swinging relationship if you don't totally trust each other, respect each other 100%. You always have to put your partner first above all others. Doesn't sound to me like you are ready to do that... Okay okay I am being all judgemental based on a poorly worded question. Hmmm shouldn't do that. :-/ So my advice, stop wanking over the thought of bonking another woman and actually listen to what your wife is really saying. Seriously, what have you done for her lately? :-D

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  You both not ready. She might not even be the swinging type. Delete your profile, buy her flowers and get your relationship in order. Only from strong foundation can you even begin to explore this life style. KK - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Also I would like to add that women do look at other women....... but we are not thinking of sex. We are looking at the hair style, the shoes, the handbag maybe, the clothes. This is NOT A SEXUAL THING. Also, when you see an especially hot person, whether they be male or female, of course you can't help but look. Sometimes you can't look away. Again this not necessarily a sexual thing. I would say most women look at other women..... and sex never even crosses their minds. They are not thinking "Cor would love to munch on that minge" You know!

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  madotara69

  10 years ago

  We started off as sex is fantastic between ourselves and friendship with love trust and care, lust we enjoy taking each other too intense heights, edging with foreplay and fucking in a state of euphoria, (lots of endorphins/ dopamine/ arousal) a state of mind and the state our mind produces a steady rising flow all consuming and ever so intimate, we share the pleasures of passion with compliment and exploration focused on giving each other. We were in that place (mentioned above) and having a great old time and we communicate with each other as well, I was enjoying Tara's excited wetness running over my hand resting on her inner thigh, as she was settling into deep throat unison as my pelvis was having involuntary thrusting spasms, real team work and fucking of it's own kind. I said "Tara this feels so fucking good what we are doing and what you are doing to me.. I feel a little greedy and some lucky bugger would love it if you gave him this what you are giving me now" Tara did not say much at the time in words, though her imagination led to some extreme vocal notes as I tempted her with suggestions of pleasurable expression being our fantasy guy and what we could do in a threesome. It kind of sealed the deal with us and all we did was talk to it regularly and during the aroused state when fucking. We both agree that when we do play up with another, we do it together, it's why we want to enjoy fucking with others as for what we have built up between us and together invite another to join our world and enjoy releasing their own energies as a team of three getting lost in the lust and passions with edging for some pretty fucking intense orgasmic moments in another dimension. Ron the questions we have for you is... Where is that passion your wife may release, once liberated as enjoyed by you most and for all? And If when may it be so, it may well be the company of another man that arouses her imagination, how do you think you would feel being with your wife as she disappears into a mind of lust and expresses it for its intensities, as fantasy becomes your reality more so than hers by another man fucking her and extreme for the naughtiness of it all, a passionate woman lost in lust and you have a choice, join in and become part with it, or watch your wife letting go in a way you may never have experienced with her as just the two of you. Our advise is for you to have a think about what levels of trust and care for each others feelings, to be best friends and manage that between you both and entertain the conversations of the passionate woman's mind, it is a powerful emotion and needs to be respected and admired or you could find yourself the one having trouble managing some confronting emotions ? Then can you truly communicate with your wife and her feelings, it may be your's that worries her and her's should worry you? IOHO If we played up with another girl, same same, but she would need to put in some work, one woman contently exhausted of orgasms takes two men a synchronized team in 'peak physical condition', so "two women" for a bloke to look after sounds like a whole lot of work and little for distractions. Mado Mado Tara xx

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  LifeUnscripted

  10 years ago

  Honestly not a lot of point answering most of your questions, because it is not going to work. Honestly swinging or opening up your marriage is dangerous unless you have the right kind of relationship. The danger increases when one partner is trying to "manage" the other into being open. I would recommend talking to your wife. Finding out what she wants, not trying to get her to want what you want. It only really works well when you both want the same thing. Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Happy_Guy_Sydney wrote... Within a year someone else will have your girl FULL time..and probably treat her with what SHE wants in mind.. And you will be out here.. Single.. Still looking to fullfill your OWN fantasies.. Still asking the wrong questions.. Just saying ..

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Quoting 'cavey50' Within a year someone else will have your girl FULL time..and probably treat her with what SHE wants in mind.. You do realise OP, that when it comes to swinging it's the women of the couples who get most of the attention? So, assuming that you manage to talk her into it (a recipe for disaster on its own anyway as others have mentioned), are you prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions whatever they may be? You may find yourself on the outer in more ways than one.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Thnx people for the time and your opinion. Seems like few ladies got angry on me as how could i askthis questions. Its just what I think by myself....doesn't need to be same like you. Am curious about how did you experienced people start it and how did you manage . Am pretty sure one start thinking first then the other part join in. At the beginning we did cam fun with few couple and girls and my partner said she loved it. We did a lot naughty things that she said she loved it. but we stuck some where. And that is why i asked how to proceed. Now we do role play and fantasizes about MFM and FMF while we make love. Which is good as well. But in real life she doesn't want to make it happen. The people who can not share their experience or provide fruitful suggestion i would rather say donot bother to write. I do not need your useless lecture. If you can help us out do it. And thnx any ways.

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  LifeUnscripted

  10 years ago

  Truth is we started because we both wanted to. We were both enthusiastic if a little scared. We talked a LOT about it. We talked about what we would do if we were jealous, or if we wanted to back out or what rules we had. We shared our fantasies and hopes, and what we were looking for. We both wanted to start. I think that is important, because the couples we have seen be successful have been the ones that are in that situation. The ones where we have seen disasters have nearly always been where one partner was pressuring the other to do things they didn't want to do. It is a recipe for disaster. We have seen couples split up all over the place, often because they started out because one really wanted to, and the other either just wanted to please them, even though they weren't enthusiastic, or because one was being threatened that it was the only way to save their marriage. If one partner doesn't want to do it, it just doesn't work. That is why I suggested you talk to your wife and find out what she does want. If you really really want to move her along, start out VERY small. Sounds like you have been doing some cam stuff, maybe try that again. Or maybe ask her what her fantasies are, and what she might like to do. It may be that she likes the idea of going to a party and flirting with other people, even if there is no real play. Or maybe she likes the idea of same room sex with another couple. You need to find out what she wants. If she does want one of those things, then you have a start, and honestly you need to fully and completely respect her boundaries and don't push hard for anything more. You need to get her to feel comfortable and feel like she can trust you. That you will be ok together. Then maybe she will enjoy those moments enough to want more. BUT she might not. She might decide she doesn't want to do more and that is ok as well. Or she might just not be interested in trying anything else right now. It sounds like she has already tried and it just wasn't for her. That is ok.

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  LifeUnscripted

  10 years ago

  Number one rule for success in my book....put her and her feelings first. Unless you don't care about your marriage.

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