F46
How would you interpret this message?
May 14 2013
Comments
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
really annoyed. People who stuff others around like that piss me off. I go to great lengths to make sure I keep meeting commitments and for me to arrange a night out or weekend away takes planning to make sure the kids are organised. I don't blame you for having the irrits he should have either been better organised or given you better notice.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The guy was hedging his bets. He would have had another date on Friday night and was trying to keep you on a hook in case the date didn't work out or if he decided he preferred you. He does not care one second what your schedule was like... Nothing to do with him. If you are meeting out if towners you are only in it for the sex right? Certainly the men are. They would normally bombard women from he town and try and line up as many women as they can. Now unless the guy is in the sex industry there is no way that clients would ask him to couples club. Number one single guys are not allowed in here and there is no way that a female business client w
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RHP User
12 years ago
Cont... Would ask a male business associate to a swingers club. This is why I don't meet out of towners.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh and since you are from a sex site he assumes you would go to a sex club although I notice that you specifically state you are not into group sex on your profile. You have well and truly been played by a player.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I do find there are a lot of assumptions here. If this guy was well aware of your schedule then I agree he was rude for so casually saying he was having dinner with a client, without any apology. But as for the swingers club? I get asked regularly if I've been there, and not always from people that want me to take them. A lot are just interested, as there are always stories going around about the Couples Club, even on these forums. Like Meeka said, there is no way his colleagues could have invited them, and I think that the fact he asked you to meet him after ten could indicate he was indeed just having dinner. But that's another assumption. I would have told him: 'Yes I've been to CC, why do you ask?" I don't know if I would give him a second chance, but I would allow him too explain himself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
NEXT!
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RHP User
12 years ago
not taking into account the Couples Club thing (because we're not sure his reason for asking you), he's still acted selfishly and given you the runaround, and basically shown that he didn't give a shit about the fact that you rearranged your plans etc. He wouldn't be getting a second chance from me. I'd be cutting him off and calling "NEXT!!".And I'm actually thinking in regards to the Couples Club, that he knows he can't get in as a single guy, so is looking for a woman willing to go with him as a couple. And that shows that he hasn't even read your profile properly, since as Meeka said you clearly state in your profile that you're not interested in group play.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Gets my goat!! Really! Soooo rude! Similar has happened to me and the lack of an apology, the lack of any consideration for your situation, for you... Grrr! I hate being taken for granted. If I ever need to cancel I am sincerely apologetic and do my best to make it up to the canceled upon. Coda: I stopped communicating with someone in a similar situation but he seems to have worked his way back into my affections so I suppose it's not a complete deal breaker. That said reading this has reminded me of how miffed I was. :-\
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sounds like he was propositioning you for the swingers club. Kind of sounds he was assuming you'd just put out. If you were to say yes to him its a win win. If not...he continues to enjoy his "dinner" with the client. I find that disrespectful he'd say anything "swinger club" wise straight off the bat. But that's my perception- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have noticed with quite a lot of guys, that they make a bigt point of telling you that they have their commitments and can't see you on such and such day / time (which is fair enough if it's legit), but they then expect that you will be free for them as soon as they click their fingers. I'm going through this with a guy right now. He works shift work so isn't very available, which I get. But instead of trying to organise something with me a few days in advance when he knows he'll have a night or weekend free, he just contacts me out of the blue at about 6pm with the "what you up to" text, which I know is code for I want to have sex tonight. Well sorry, I actually have things to do as well and I can't (and won't) just drop everything and rush over to your last minute booty call. And I have already told him that once, and what happens tonight? I get the 6pm "what you up to" text. And he wonders why I'm not showing much interest!!
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
it sounds like you were the back up plan,nothing more, nothing less.It would have been a very selfish fuck as well, all about him.He has paid no attention to the fact you re-organised your schedule to fit with his "free time"....I sincerely doubt he would have treated you any differently sexually as well.Wham bam lucky if you get a thankyou mam...All you can do is thank him for showing you he is a jerk so early and you dont have to worry about wasting anymore timeon him.
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RHP User
12 years ago
a rude man who certainly doesn't respect you and has the hide to think you have nothing better to do than to accommodate his changing schedule.Flick him to the curb, he is not worthy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is your choice whether you want to be stuffed up by this man again or not, let him know you were not impressed as yoiu also had a busy schedule then leave it at that, if you do happen to make another date that suits both of you set down the ground rules, if he disrespects that then you know it is all about him with blatant disregard for you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think you're right to be upset. Whether you give him the opportunity to explain himself is a matter for you (I probably would have). It wouldn't have changed my outcome though - Bye Bye! We all deserve a little respect; expect nothing less, every time.Sad for you to experience, but learn from it and move on - no doubt you've a big pool of yummy chaps to choose from. xx
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
He was probably a lousy fuck anyway n you can do so much better then idiots like that.... He prob also has 'small dick syndrome' Hold your head high n smile :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
the fact you were willing to share your body with him and he showed such little regard for that privilege means he is a creep, i would bet he got another offer and he was hedging his betsOh well sounds like he missed out!
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RHP User
12 years ago
The guy had no respect for you I don't think. He wants a root when he feels like it. I would start sending him the same. Just a text with.... DTF? Lol.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' I have noticed with quite a lot of guys, that they make a bigt point of telling you that they have their commitments and can't see you on such and such day / time (which is fair enough if it's legit), but they then expect that you will be free for them as soon as they click their fingers. I'm going through this with a guy right now. He works shift work so isn't very available, which I get. But instead of trying to organise something with me a few days in advance when he knows he'll have a night or weekend free, he just contacts me out of the blue at about 6pm with the "what you up to" text, which I know is code for I want to have sex tonight. Well sorry, I actually have things to do as well and I can't (and won't) just drop everything and rush over to your last minute booty call. And I have already told him that once, and what happens tonight? I get the 6pm "what you up to" text. And he wonders why I'm not showing much interest!! That's sucks!!! What is wrong with these selfish men?!Good on you to stand firm on your ground
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Quoting 'MissPoppins' a rude man who certainly doesn't respect you and has the hide to think you have nothing better to do than to accommodate his changing schedule.Flick him to the curb, he is not worthy. Ditto.He knew what he was sending.... and you didnt figure in it in any capacity other than as a tool for his arousal.DG
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' The guy was hedging his bets. He would have had another date on Friday night and was trying to keep you on a hook in case the date didn't work out or if he decided he preferred you. He does not care one second what your schedule was like... Nothing to do with him. If you are meeting out if towners you are only in it for the sex right? Certainly the men are. They would normally bombard women from he town and try and line up as many women as they can. Now unless the guy is in the sex industry there is no way that clients would ask him to couples club. Number one single guys are not allowed in here and there is no way that a female business client w Do those swingers clubs only open for business from Friday night??? I'm curious to know how come you picked to mention Friday night instead of some other night of the week??? :-) Also, I don't know if his business clients were female or male, and how many clients did he have dinner with on that night, so I don't know what they were really up to. But that's not important and none of my business :-)As you have read in my profile, I am not into couples nor group sex, hence I have never been to a swingers/couples club and will never be interested either. So, I don't know their rules and restrictions, hence it was only my assumption that the guy might got offered to be taken to a swingers club on the night he ditched me.And yes, I now know that I have been played by a player
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I posted this thread simply to learn if I was been subjective towards an incident like this even though I know I have all the right to be upset.I personally do not like selfish, bad manners and disrespectful people, especially those that possess all of these weaknesses and time wasters! So FYI, I didn't want to hear this guy's explanation nor have I given him a second chance to treat me wrong again :-)
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sweetgem
12 years ago
When I say peeps, I actually meant people :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Its just like that car ad....hes has the girl in the car taking her to dinner then the other girl rings and asks if they are still on for 10pm .....you were his 10 pm if his date didnt turn into sex.Your not a player yet sweetgem but this site will teach you how to be.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes' Its just like that car ad....hes has the girl in the car taking her to dinner then the other girl rings and asks if they are still on for 10pm .....you were his 10 pm if his date didnt turn into sex.Your not a player yet sweetgem but this site will teach you how to be. This site may be a pure sex site and full of "flavours", but I am not one to be influenced or turned into a low quality scum. So this site can never change me or make me a player, because I don't want to be on the same level as those players and scums
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RHP User
12 years ago
are the B, C,D,E,F women really I wait 10min , and am doing something else in case of a no show now I have my regular lovers who know the drill out of town men are a waste of time, unless your travelling yourself and just want a booty call same for me who are away from the wife and kids sex on rhp is easy to get, so forget the men that stuff you around, only one chance and then never reply to them harsh but time is important to busy women and men and sex is just a small part of it so I dont hold my breath waiting for Mr studlydudly with no manners actually I dont meet for drinks etc no social chit chat,we meet for coffee texting and messages come after we are lovers works for me but then after a year on this thing I am ruthless
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BrightBubbly
12 years ago
The hardest thing is that you make it very clear what you are looking for... Even from the first few messages back and forward I always reiterate what it is I want and make sure they are aware and on the same wavelength. Then you spend time getting to know them, flirting back and forwards, cheeky fun messages. You think things are going well, you meet for a drink/coffee and the chemistry is there.The excitement builds and then wham, it's like a slap in the face with a wet fish.I had a similar thing happen to me just recently, met a great guy, the chemistry was there, we met once for sex and it was amazing. I think we are both lucky to have found someone we click with in so many ways, cos he wants that NSA FWB situation too - watch out - here comes that wet fish. A fly away comment and you realise that you got played !!!The guys think they have got it tough on this site but I can tell you us single women don't necessarily have it any easier !!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok chick... I'm assuming this was your first meet. What was the rush to meet that very next night?? You've not had a chance to evaluate the first meet properly. Second to that is clearly he comes to Sydney often or at least on a more than just once off. Like HE knew your schedule, YOU knew he would be back in town again at a later date. So why not organise yourself for the next time he's in town to gauge his GENUINE interest?? You also knew as he did, you had plans......don't change them to appease someone else's timeframe because if they ARE genuine, they will understand, if not, NEXT!! Seems to me you've invested way too much too soon, and you got burned. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
12 years ago
To me, the term "got burned" has a stronger meaning for a lot more worse situation where one was hurt emotionally, mentally and physical, etc. but I was not hurt like that at all lol It would be a joke or I should stay offline if I thought of that one incident as been burned lol NO sir, I didn't get burned, was only an experience to gain, and like I said, I made this post merely to learn from others' views so I can mirror myself to see if I was been subjective in handling incident like this, that's all and nothing more :-) I don't hold grudge against anyone because it's simply not worth it :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thought you met him Thursday night and the second meet was for Friday? I see that you didn't say that so I must have assumed that, also nothing much happens at the swingers club before 10pm so I also assume that is why he wanted to meet you at that time. As for swingers club this is where all people are naked and having sex in the open pretty much so it's not a place you would suggest to work colleagues ever. It's open from Thursday to Sunday I think and Friday and Saturday night has a no single men policy. I think in some business circles MEN may go to strip clubs or brothels. But not a swingers club.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry OP for him to even ask you to meet him at that time...NAH not on!!I think that was rude and he wanted you to be his "RON" (as in later on).In other words and OPTION -- Backup.If he is in town he knows EXACTLY what his arrangements are.Don't buy into his poor excuses - or even RON!I think some men want women on this site to be "Free Prostitutes", especially if they ask to meet up at that time of night.And even had the hide to ask you about "Swingers Clubs" - by the sounds of it, he had his own agenda going on.NEXT!! I say...Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hmmmm perhaps burned wasn't the right term?? As I know you're not hurt by it, but well....you get what I mean so its all good :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is true that we have all made some assumptions which may or may not be true. If he was telling the truth about the clients he would have known that there was a possibility that dinner was on the cards. He chose not to tell you this until the last minute because he didn't want you changing your plans and ergo him missing out on sex.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' The guy had no respect for you I don't think. He wants a root when he feels like it. I would start sending him the same. Just a text with.... DTF? Lol. I know he doesn't. So once again I'm faced with the choice; either deal with it so I can get laid at least occasionally, or go back to no sex at all for who knows how long. I'm so over it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't worry about it. If you feel like it at the time great, if not tell him you are busy. Use him the same way he is using you. A lot of fuck buddy situations are the same. Is it good sex? If yes... Why not see him went it suits you?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Don't worry about it. If you feel like it at the time great, if not tell him you are busy. Use him the same way he is using you. A lot of fuck buddy situations are the same. Is it good sex? If yes... Why not see him went it suits you? we've only had sex the once so far....it wasn't bad, there is a lot of potential there I think (he was in a long term relationship which was very sheltered sexually). I did tell him that I'd better get some action for my birthday this month so we'll see what happens there, hehe... Oops...sorry sweetgem didn't mean to hijack your thread!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sweetgem that you found out in the nick of time that this man is just a fool.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Quoting 'Meeka100' Don't worry about it. If you feel like it at the time great, if not tell him you are busy. Use him the same way he is using you. A lot of fuck buddy situations are the same. Is it good sex? If yes... Why not see him went it suits you? we've only had sex the once so far....it wasn't bad, there is a lot of potential there I think (he was in a long term relationship which was very sheltered sexually). I did tell him that I'd better get some action for my birthday this month so we'll see what happens there, hehe... Oops...sorry sweetgem didn't mean to hijack your thread!!
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'MissPoppins' a rude man who certainly doesn't respect you and has the hide to think you have nothing better to do than to accommodate his changing schedule.Flick him to the curb, he is not worthy.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'tuscanred' are the B, C,D,E,F women really I wait 10min , and am doing something else in case of a no show now I have my regular lovers who know the drill out of town men are a waste of time, unless your travelling yourself and just want a booty call same for me who are away from the wife and kids sex on rhp is easy to get, so forget the men that stuff you around, only one chance and then never reply to them harsh but time is important to busy women and men and sex is just a small part of it so I dont hold my breath waiting for Mr studlydudly with no manners actually I dont meet for drinks etc no social chit chat,we meet for coffee texting and messages come after we are lovers works for me but then after a year on this thing I am ruthless Lol love your comment
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I thought you met him Thursday night and the second meet was for Friday? I see that you didn't say that so I must have assumed that, also nothing much happens at the swingers club before 10pm so I also assume that is why he wanted to meet you at that time. As for swingers club this is where all people are naked and having sex in the open pretty much so it's not a place you would suggest to work colleagues ever. It's open from Thursday to Sunday I think and Friday and Saturday night has a no single men policy. I think in some business circles MEN may go to strip clubs or brothels. But not a swingers club. Thank you very much for the info about swingers club policy and their business hours, etc. Now you know why I called myself "the girl next door" in one of my earliest threads (if you still remember that thread, that is lol) on the Forums When I read of your earlier post about meeting the guy on a Friday night, I immediately thought that the swingers club might only open for business from Friday, that's how you assumed that I was going to meet the guy the second time on a Friday night, and that's why I asked the question :-)Once again, thank you for the info, really appreciate it :-)
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' Sorry OP for him to even ask you to meet him at that time...NAH not on!!I think that was rude and he wanted you to be his "RON" (as in later on).In other words and OPTION -- Backup.If he is in town he knows EXACTLY what his arrangements are.Don't buy into his poor excuses - or even RON!I think some men want women on this site to be "Free Prostitutes", especially if they ask to meet up at that time of night.And even had the hide to ask you about "Swingers Clubs" - by the sounds of it, he had his own agenda going on.NEXT!! I say...Foxy And almost click BLOCK too lol
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' Quoting 'Meeka100' Don't worry about it. If you feel like it at the time great, if not tell him you are busy. Use him the same way he is using you. A lot of fuck buddy situations are the same. Is it good sex? If yes... Why not see him went it suits you? we've only had sex the once so far....it wasn't bad, there is a lot of potential there I think (he was in a long term relationship which was very sheltered sexually). I did tell him that I'd better get some action for my birthday this month so we'll see what happens there, hehe... Oops...sorry sweetgem didn't mean to hijack your thread!!
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' Sweetgem that you found out in the nick of time that this man is just a fool. I know, thank goodness!!! This man has really made a fool of himself!!!
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I do find there are a lot of assumptions here. If this guy was well aware of your schedule then I agree he was rude for so casually saying he was having dinner with a client, without any apology. But as for the swingers club? I get asked regularly if I've been there, and not always from people that want me to take them. A lot are just interested, as there are always stories going around about the Couples Club, even on these forums. Like Meeka said, there is no way his colleagues could have invited them, and I think that the fact he asked you to meet him after ten could indicate he was indeed just having dinner. But that's another assumption. I would have told him: 'Yes I've been to CC, why do you ask?" I don't know if I would give him a second chance, but I would allow him too explain himself. Yes, I did assume that this man might have been told about the swingers club by his clients, and I also assumed that he might be taken there by his clients, because I didn't know what policies do swingers clubs have until Meeka explained it :-)Nevertheless, this man should not have treated me as an option while he knew I had gone an extra mile to meet him, and after we had been exchanging emails for over a month before the actual meet up for drinks. So, I am only returning the favour by ignoring his email and apology
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verago250
12 years ago
I think he thought you would do him and his client.Block him and move on.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I have zero tolerance for time wasters and people who disrespect me, so I have already moved on though I don't usually block people unless they've asked for it :-) I'm sure he knows he has been a fool and he might have seen this thread too lol Well, this is what he had to pay for taking me for granted 😈
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RHP User
12 years ago
If a guy treats you like that....cut the tie...it's so not worth it and just be glad tha you didn't have the misfortune of sleeping with him...be glad in fact that you didn't...he sounds like an arse and a gutless one at that
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RHP User
12 years ago
Some people get away with behaviour like this all the time. You have done the right thing, by choosing not to accept it. If it feels wrong it usually isWell done for following your intuition
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